Skull and Thrones: A LitRPG/GameLit Adventure

by Eric Ugland

  "Do you ever have normal mornings?"

  "Not lately. This morning was, uh, well, Careena left Glaton."

  "You think it's because of you?"

  “That was pretty, uh, her note was reasonably specific."

  "Well that’s a shame.”

  "She gave me a name to continue my magical studies. Said that would complete her favor to you. And that she failed me."

  "What's the name?"

  "The Faden."

  "Means nothing to me."

  "Another reason for the spy network that's not a spy network."

  "To find your magical mentor?"

  “I mean, my rogue mentor is currently a bit preoccupied with politics. Besides, do you want me slinging spells at random while I try to—“

  "Living next door to you is starting to feel a little less than ideal."

  "Can't beat the rent."

  "Depends what nonsense you're summoning. I don't enjoy beating down demons at three in the morning."

  “That might not be my fault."

  "Might."

  "I managed to kill a demon today already. Or last night."

  “Really?”

  “A molromon."

  "There's likely something along the lines of a story there. Did the Guard step in and help you?"

  "No, but maybe two other people were involved and maybe died before I came along and did the last bit of stabby-stabby."

  "That I would believe." Matthew looked back into the pit.

  "Anything special in there?" I asked.

  " Mostly just muck and shit," he replied. "If I do this, create this spy network of yours, you have to help me as well. It's a two-way street."

  “You’re about to ask me if you can join the guild, right?“

  “Let me finish what I was saying before you go about being right about things. You're the last living member of the Biscuit’s Union, and all their things are yours. That makes you the leader of the guild."

  “Right, and—“

  “What was it I said about letting me finish?"

  I didn't say anything, but I definitely made a rather exaggerated 'go ahead' signal for him.

  "You need to bring some new members into your guild. Right? But if you do that, you better make it our guild. Change the name, make it something new. Make it about something greater than just gold and power. You do that, and I’d likely consider joining. If I’m part of a new guild that isn’t all thievery and rogue’s work, that'll do to make it different enough that my old friends and enemies won’t come knocking on my door."

  “I had some ideas about—“

  “I’m not done. I need you to work with Godfrey and me to guide Glaton to a new and better Emperor. Or if we can't find someone better, get whatever disaster is going to be in power into the throne quickly. The longer we're in this leaderless limbo, the worse off this country is going to be."

  "Are you—“

  "You convince some of the others to join us, or join you, and I’ll join. I'll run the spy network you want, and I'll even go so far as to tell you the actual name it should be called."

  "How kind of you."

  "You want my help or you want to go back to cleaning mud out of pits?"

  "I mean, I want your help and I'm willing to clean mud out of pits. Not sure they're mutually exclusive."

  "You do this, you do it right. Which means you're going to be too busy to come down here and slum it up. Guild masters are busy people.“

  I walked over and looked into the pit. Given the weather, there was an entirely new version of miserable in there. Buckets of rain pounding down on mud and monster shit. Nadya wore a really wide brimmed hat, while Godfrey seemed to rely on sheer rage to keep him dry.

  “I can do that,“ I said.

  “Good,” Matthew said. “You might need to get into some of the weeds of managing the guild, but I'd think there's an option somewhere for that."

  “Are you going to freak if I do strange things like ask Boris to join?"

  “The kobold? No. But I’d probably caution you."

  "Then I'll do it."

  "You doing it is the easy part. Getting others on board is going to be your challenge."

  “But all you need is for me to get the others to join and you’ll join?”

  “That’s one part. The other is more complicated. Are you ready to pay attention?”

  “I’ve been listening to you. I am paying attention.”

  “Fine. Here we go: One, you go to Valamir, and you find evidence he is behind his brother’s murder. Two, you change the name of the guild. Three, you make sure the guild is not just about thieving shit and hurting others for profit. Four, you said eight people need to join. I won’t join until at least seven others have.”

  Rebuild the Guild II - Matthew Gallifrey

  Matthew will join if you change the name of the guild, find evidence Valamir participated in the murder of his brother, revise the guild’s mission to aim it towards bettering Glaton, and have at least seven other members in good standing.

  Reward for success: survival of the guild, unknown

  Penalty for failure (or refusal): potentially the death of the guild

  Yes/No

  I accepted the quest, swallowing the rising panic I felt about being able to pull this off.

  "Okay,” I said, “I got the quest. I'm going to go buy a building. You know some other people who need a place to live?"

  "Probably.”

  I clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm excited about this. It's going to be big."

  "It's going to be a shitshow."

  "Sure, but what a shitshow."

  Chapter Sixteen

  Once again, I walked. All the way across the city. Well, technically, from the Pits to Old Town wasn't even half the city, but it seemed like a lot. After all the walking back and forth throughout the day, it was nearing mid-afternoon by the time I sealed the deal with Jaclyn.

  I handed over the credit letter, and she handed over the deed. It was quick and clean and nothing at all out of the ordinary. She thanked me profusely, assuring me that I’d given her family the opportunity to escape before the whole city went to the hells. I tried to smile at that, but it kind of meant she was leaving me to the hells. I waited until she’d left the tavern before I turned to Titus.

  “Did we overpay?” I asked.

  “I didn’t pay nothing,” he replied, “so pretty sure I came out fine on that deal.”

  “Me?”

  “Sadly, you made out like a bandit.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “I liked Jaclyn — she was a good neighbor. But you made out so well because she’s so afraid.”

  “Does she have cause?”

  “Dunno. Not yet. All that she fears may well come to pass. Or not. Depends on those who are jockeying for power. But I won’t say I’m not worried.”

  “Does she have young kids?”

  “There’s that problem, too. Just because the Emperor’s dead doesn’t mean kids will stop disappearing. Between you and me, if’n I wasn’t living here, in these buildings, I’d be looking to open up a tavern elsewhere. Glaton is in a bad spot.”

  “I was talking to Matthew,” I started, but Titus held up his hand.

  “If this is a Matthew sort of conversation, maybe we save it until we’re taking a tour of your new building.”

  I shrugged. “Works for me.”

  He called out to his wife. “Taking the kid over to the new building.”

  She looked up from a book briefly, then waved at him.

  “Boss says I’m good to go,” Titus said with a smile.

  Building number three, was not as big as building number two, nor as small as building number one. Like my other two properties, building three had a commercial space on the main floor. This one was unoccupied as well, but was outfitted for a basic shop of some kind. Judging from the shield hanging out front, it had once sold books.

  “A bookstore?” I asked.

  “Gener
al goods, but also a few books.”

  “When did it dry up?”

  “When you bought it.”

  “That was what she did?”

  “She and her husband. They ran a general store, and rented out some of the units upstairs.”

  “Oh. So they were ready to go?”

  “They’d already moved out, if that’s what you mean.”

  “And the rest of their tenants?”

  “Out too.”

  “That fast?”

  “Some people have longer memories. Or they believe the stories about the last time there was a war of succession.”

  “What happened then?”

  “The country fell apart for a few years, and the city became a war zone.”

  “That sounds like fun.”

  He gave me a smile, then unlocked the door.

  “Don’t those belong to me?” I asked, pointing at the keys.

  “Yeah— I figured I’d hold on to them for now.”

  “Why? You got plans for the place already?”

  “I had a few thoughts, just in case you didn’t.”

  “Do tell.”

  He smiled, and then ushered me inside the building I now owned.

  The shop was commensurate with all the other shops I’d been to in Glaton. There was a small area for the customers to enter and stand around, and then a wide counter. Behind the counter were all the goods and a spot for the shopkeep to stand and dole them out. It made theft much harder, considering that the customer didn’t get hands on the goods until such time as they’d already paid for them.

  Naturally, we just hopped the counter.

  Jaclyn had left all the shelves behind, both the ones in the center of the space, and all the ones along the walls. There was even a bit of sellable product remaining. Only the stuff that wasn’t worth enough to bring with them, like rotting vegetables, torn apparel, and cracked jars and vessels, remained. I spotted some heavy ropes and chains in the far corner, but that seemed like the only thing of actual value.

  “Think, if you will,” Titus said, strutting around like a showman, “where this wall touches.”

  He rested his hand on the wall that bordered his tavern.

  “Uh, your place?” I asked.

  “Correct,” he said. “Your building and my tavern. A tavern that rarely has enough room to adequately hold all those who wish to be patrons.”

  “I have a bad feeling about what you’re about to say.”

  “If we blow out this wall right here,” he said, a smile blossoming across his face, “we can extend the bar just a bit, and have more seating all through here. We’ll have to figure out what to do with the fireplace, but I do know a guy. Plus, we can put up a wall here and BOOM! we have a big enough kitchen to serve real food. Hire some real chefs, and we’ll have a proper restaurant. That’s where the big money is—“

  “I thought bars made the money and restaurants flopped.”

  “Maybe. But we’ve always got people asking for more food.”

  “Because they’re drunk.”

  “They won’t be sober in the restaurant.”

  “Did you convince Jaclyn to talk to me?”

  “I’d never.”

  “You most certainly would.”

  “Maybe. But I swear it was only a happy coincidence on this particular occasion. I’ve only been thinking about expansion since you put the idea in my head. My plan was to go up instead of going out, take over the second-floor apartment, but this way would be much better. Multilevel bars are notoriously difficult to run. We could even make this into an inn. Or a hotel, and have all those floors above be our rooms and—“

  “That seems a bit ambitious.”

  “Ambitious, sure. But ambitious can be extremely lucrative.”

  “Lucrative is not necessarily the goal here. I’m looking at a few different things.”

  “You mean whatever it was Matthew and you spoke about.”

  “Yeah. He wants me, uh, well, I mean, I want to as well — it’s not like he’s leading the charge here, I am. But I’m, uh. Man, I’m doing a shit job of explaining it.”

  Titus leaned against the counter and gave me a grin.

  “I’m a bartender,” he said, “pretty sure I’ve heard worse. Take a second and start again.”

  I did as he asked.

  “You know I’m, uh well—“

  “Comfortable walking on the opposite side of the law?”

  “Sure. And that I’m part of the—“

  “Biscuit’s Union.”

  “You want to finish this for me?”

  “Happy to. You mentioned this morning that you needed to rebuild your guild, which I assume means that you’re the last one left. And you said you’ve got but a week to do it. As you’re the last member, that would by default make you in charge, which is likely where you got the coin for this particular acquisition. Which doesn’t really concern me — I don’t care where you get your coin as long as it’s not out of my pocket. Or Matthew’s really. Now, if you’ve been talking to Matthew about things, I’m assuming he’s got you convinced that you can have some sort of sway on who becomes the next Emperor. And if he has you coming here to talk to me, even if you’re thinking it’s your own idea, it’s probably influenced by him. And that tells me you’re about to ask me to join your little guild again. Maybe rename it, get rid of the stigma attached to the BU, what with them being all killed, minus you. Which is another story for another time, my friend. But am I right?”

  He’d managed to say virtually all of that in a single breath, and I had to take a second to actually unpack it all.

  “I think you just said you think I’m here to ask you to join a guild that used to be the Biscuit’s Union, but will now be something else,” I said. “Right?”

  “I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be telling me if what I said was correct.”

  “I am asking you to join my guild, which will be renamed. Yes.”

  “For what purpose?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What’s the goal of your guild? Why does it exist?”

  “Matthew seemed to think it was for protection.”

  “Okay, but why do you want it to exist?”

  “Partly for protection,” I said, “but also because I think we can make the world a better place.”

  “Where does money fit in, lad?”

  “Makes the world go round, doesn’t it?”

  “That it does. The thing is, I’m not willing to forgo gold in order to make the world a better place. My family comes first, and I’m not about to drop them into the Pits.”

  “Please tell me that’s some sort of saying.”

  “You’ve never heard it?”

  “No. Must be a Glaton sort of a thing.”

  “Only place I know of with pits, so might be. Means I don’t want to be so poor I’m sending my children to work in the Pits.”

  “It’s not that bad of a job.”

  “Were you a child working there?”

  “No— yeah, I get what you mean.”

  “I want my children to go to school. To get into one of the academies, and not have to slog away for the rest of their lives.”

  “Maybe keep the tavern going in the family?”

  “If the gods bless me, and you keep buying up buildings, maybe.”

  “I’m not particularly altruistic myself. And I’m not keen to work in the pits either. I mean, I don’t mind working in the pits, but I also don’t want your kids to work in the pits.”

  “Or yours, I’d assume.”

  “Let’s not get my imaginary kids in the mix quite yet. I want to get some gold and take down some rich assholes. In doing so, we’ll have made the world a bit better. That’s what I want. I’m also pretty damn keen on keeping the people I like safe.”

  “Oh, so you like me and mine? I feel so warm and cuddly inside.”

  “You want me to start charging you rent?’

  “Not in the slightest. Now, is my getti
ng the expansion going to be contingent on me joining your little club?”

  “No. But I haven’t agreed that the expansion is happening yet.”

  “And what would you be thinking of doing with this place?”

  “Maybe a second tavern. A little competition?”

  The color drained from his face.

  “I’m kidding, gods.”

  “You give me the expansion, then I’m in.”

  Rebuild the Guild III - Titus Calpernus

  Allow Titus to expand the Heavy Purse into the new building.

  Reward for success: survival of the guild, unknown

  Penalty for failure (or refusal): potential death of the guild

  Yes/No

  I accepted the quest.

  “You can have the expansion,” I said.

  “Why thank you,” he said with a smile.

  Congratulations! You’ve completed a QUEST!

  Rebuild the Guild III - Titus Calpernus

  You allowed Titus to expand the Heavy Purse into the new building.

  Reward for Success: A new member in good standing for your guild.

  Best quest ever.

  “Just for the record,” I said, “I’d have done your expansion even if you hadn’t joined.”

  “And that’s why we love you — you’re just a big softie under all that itchy clothing. Now, you want to see the rest of the place?”

  The building had five floors above ground and three below. A basement, a sub-basement, and a sub-sub-basement. But it lacked a mystery monster in any of the subfloors, and I felt it was really the worse for that. The floors above the commercial space were divided into two apartments per floor, except the top floor, which had one big place with three bedrooms. All the rest were two-bedroom jobbies. There was an empty aerie on the roof that looked like it had held a ton of birds at one point.

  Behind the building was a small two-story carriage house and stable, roughly on par with the one behind the bakery. But there was no room for turning wagons around, nor any major deliveries. The stable still held quite a bit of hay, but all the animals were gone, as was the wagon or carriage. The walls that contained the carriage yard of building three abutted that of building two, which I now saw was the reason there wasn’t a back door or carriage spot for building one. But considering all the property was mine now, there could be some consolidation of buildings and the like in the back. I sighed, standing at a window looking out at the alley region in the back. This was starting to seem like real work. And I still had to go convince a paladin to join a thieves’ guild.