Falling for Jordan

by Liz Durano

  "I don't know what to say. The last three days, I've been too angry and I didn't want come out and blame him only because I needed someone to blame—even if it isn't his fault that his ex is still crazy about him."

  "There's nothing you can do about that. What you can do is to let the legal team take care of her while you focus on personal stuff. And don't forget, Addy, he's also Piper's father and he does have a right to see her even if you don't want to see him again or talk to him," Harlow says. "Do you like him?"

  I don't answer right away. Her question is simple. I just don't understand why I'm making it more complicated than it is. Am I simply afraid to admit that I'm falling for a man I've only been with for ten days? Eleven, if you count the first time we met.

  "It's a simple question, Addy. You either do or you don't," Harlow says, chuckling.

  "I do like him, and I think that's the problem right there. To me, he's perfect and we get along. Too well."

  "And? What's wrong with that?" Harlow asks. "Is he gay?"

  "No!"

  "Bi?"

  "No!"

  "– not that there's anything wrong with that but if he's straight and he's as gorgeous as everyone in the office says he is... and he's the father of this little princess right here, what's wrong with him then?" she asks matter-of-factly as I start to laugh, the seriousness of our conversation broken and I realize that I'm being petty not to talk to Jordan.

  "I'm just scared. I've never felt this way before. We’re also going at this too fast. I can’t stop thinking that I’ve only known him for about ten days… total,” I say, barely able to believe that I'm telling someone my deepest darkest feelings.

  “So? I knew Dax for about the same time, maybe a few days more before I came back to New York. Sometimes time isn’t even that important when it comes to… to relationships. What matters more is what goes on in them. Usually things we can’t measure with a ruler or scale.” Harlow pauses and touches my forearm. "It's okay to be scared, Addy. We all get to that point. But sometimes we have to stop playing it safe and take that leap of faith, crazy ex-girlfriend or no. I should know, because I had to deal with vindictive ex-husband."

  "I'm sorry about that. It was a terrible time.” Even for everyone at the office who couldn’t avoid the gossip tabloids that had to drag her personal life through the mud.

  Harlow shakes her head as Piper yawns a big one and closes her eyes contentedly. "Don't be. It worked out in the end. I have Dax and our twins. I know what I'm going to say is going to be corny by New York standards (because we New Yorkers don't talk this way), but follow your heart. Not everyone is lucky enough to do that, but when the chance comes, explore it. Follow it. You just might be surprised at what you'll find."

  As Harlow speaks, I can see the happiness on her face as she gazes at Dax who smiles back at her, nodding in agreement. There's a look of understanding between them that I can only wish for—like they'd made it through the worst of times and made it in one piece.

  Is this that time for me and Jordan? But isn't it too soon to know? How can you know someone in just ten days?

  I've never believed in love at first sight but that was before he sat next to me at Polly's a year ago, before he was a good sport and sang I Got You, Babe off-key, before he took me home to his co-op and made love to me like no one ever had, before he kissed me and looked at me the way he did like I was the only woman who ever mattered.

  But that was before all hell broke loose and now, my reputation is in ruins.

  Will we make it out of this one?

  Chapter Seventeen

  I can’t talk or see you right now. I need time. Please understand.

  I stare at the words on the screen one more time before turning off my phone. As much as I want to type out a reply asking her if she’s ready to talk now, I have to respect her wishes, at least, for one more day. Damn Rachel for this latest stunt. I can’t even blame Addison for not wanting to speak to me.

  Rachel had to destroy Addison’s professional reputation with her petty accusations that I cheated on her, all on social media. I could hand Rachel a timetable and she still wouldn’t believe me because what she wants is me crawling back to her. But I meant it last year when I told her we were over and I still mean it today. Hell, I’ve never meant it more.

  I’m lucky that Campbell is always online or he wouldn’t have caught the other things Rachel did to smear Addison’s name, leaving fake reviews on doctor rating sites. Only Rachel could come up with something like that because she knows the business more than I do.

  But Rachel is the least of my worries. With Addison refusing to see me or even talk to me, that means I have no access to my daughter. I miss her. I miss them both, and I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t want to go through family court just so I can see her. I’ve seen what it can do to kids, to Campbell most of all who had to deal with divorced parents fighting over him. I don’t ever want that for Piper.

  But like a stone tossed into a lake and ripples it creates, Rachel’s actions are causing tension at the job site for everyone knows my dad and Gus are supposed to be tight and suddenly they’re not. They’re not talking to each other and can’t be in the same room together. But if Rachel thinks I’ll go back to her like I did in the past, she’s wrong. The world could end right now and I still won’t give her the attention she wants. She needs professional help more than she needs me.

  I stare at the final shop drawings for all the custom carpentry that will go into the Upper West Side apartment. The architect handed them to me this morning and Dan and Winston took the preliminary measurements. Now the three of us are in the Astoria workroom studying them and getting everything we need together. With three pieces that I need to make myself, I have to focus on the job and stop worrying about things I can’t change.

  I’m not going back to Rachel, no matter what she says or does.

  I want me and Addison to work out.

  And whether or not it does, I want access to my daughter.

  By five, the workroom is quiet and everyone is getting ready to leave. Dad usually checks in on me from next door but today, finishing up bids in his office.

  I switch off the computer and step out of my office just as the bell above the front door jingles. Everyone becomes quiet as Gus walks in. He’s short and stocky, with salt and pepper hair and a broad grin. He and Rachel’s mother separated when she was only six and although he’s gone out with a few women since then, he never remarried. Dad told me that he still loved Rachel’s mother, but she’d moved on, married some psychologist in Denver, and has three children with him. She never even looked back, not even for Rachel. Gus got full custody of Rachel when she was six-years-old, and like Campbell, there’s always a seat at the table for her and Gus 24-7. It’s why this whole thing is tearing the families apart. Before we dated, we all used to joke that Mom and Dad really had four kids—me, Caitlin, Campbell and Rachel. Rachel even got the lesson about the birds and bees from my mom.

  “Can I have a word with Jordan in private?” he asks and the men nod and one by one, they say goodbye and walk out the door.

  “I’m sorry to hear about Rachel,” I say. “How’s she doing?”

  “She got let go at the office,” Gus says. “They caught her snooping on medical records. She wouldn’t tell me at first but her friends told me what she did online.”

  I nod, not saying anything.

  “She knows what she did was wrong and as far as repercussions, I have no idea how that stuff works but if it comes, it comes. I also heard about what she did online from her friends, and I’m here to tell you that I didn’t raise my daughter to do those things. I may have spoiled her rotten only because she’s all I have in this world. But I didn’t do it so she could ruin someone else’s career,” he says. “You’re like a son to me, Jory, and I don’t want this ruining families any more than it already has. You’ve always been straight with my daughter… and with me. When you told me it was over between you two last year, y
ou meant it. Sure, you had to fly off for a year but you gotta do what you gotta do. You two had a good run but sometimes, if it’s not meant to be, it’s just not meant to be. Heck, I should know. But I guess seeing you with a kid just was too much for her… too sudden.”

  “I’m sorry, Gus. Where is she now?”

  He cocks his head toward the SUV idling outside and I catch sight of Rachel in the passenger seat. Dad’s talking to her, leaning against the passenger door. “She wants me to drive her to the hospital. She wants to admit herself for counseling or something like that. I don’t know how that works but she says it will just be for a while, until she figures things out.” He pauses, chuckling dryly. “Hey, this is better than her not waking up, right? I’ll take this any day.”

  “Did you talk to my dad?”

  He nods. “I called him first to let him know we were coming by and see if it was okay. Your dad and I have been friends twenty-five years, Jory… before you kids were born. You guys are like family to me. You are the family I have.”

  I swallow, Gus’ sincerity hitting me hard. I have a family now, too. “Can I talk to her?”

  He hesitates for a moment but nods. “I’ll ask her.”

  I watch him go out of the door and approach the SUV. Dad steps aside, turning to look at me through the glass window before Gus beckons for me to come out.

  It’s a strange feeling seeing Rachel after everything that’s happened in the past few days. She’s still the same wild blonde I grew up with but at the same time, she’s not. She suddenly looks older, as if the last few days added years to her face. She steps out of the SUV and stands in front of me while Gus and my dad step aside to give us room.

  “Hey,” I say softly.

  “Hey.”

  “You gonna be okay?”

  She nods. “I’m really sorry for what I did. I don’t even remember doing it.”

  “It’s okay, Rachel.”

  “No, I’m serious, Jory. I really don’t remember. All I remember is that I was just so angry at you and her that I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking you must have cheated on me the whole time and… well, things got out of hand after that. I know it’s no excuse but…” she pauses, her eyes glistening with tears. “I just don’t remember doing it. I swear. And Campbell talked to me the other day. He set me straight with the timeline. It was all in my head and I’m so sorry. Please tell her I’m sorry.”

  As I watch her nervously wring her fingers, I realize I’ve never seen Rachel like this before. Not in all the years I’ve known her. She was always fun to be around, a bit crazy at times and very impulsive. She was never out of control. But I’m also her first crush and the first guy she’s always loved. I just didn’t know it then because I was more into wood shop, playing football, and hanging out.

  “Come here.” Rachel melts against my chest, her body trembling as she sobs. I hate how things have changed so much between us but I also know that I’d never have met Addison if they hadn’t. You can’t win them all. Sometimes, you have to let go.

  I take a deep breath and take a step back. My throat is dry, my chest tight. It feels as if my childhood is slipping away, the years we spent laughing and joking around, saying what was on our mind without any reservations coming to an end.

  “Take care, Rachel.”

  She smiles, wiping the tears from her face as Gus opens the passenger door. “Take care, Jordan.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jordan’s text message arrives as I lay Piper in her crib, bathed, fed, and contentedly asleep.

  Can I see you?

  It’s so simple, so straightforward—just four words—yet here I am making everything so complicated. Just answer him, Addy. Yes or no.

  Addison: Yes.

  Jordan: Tonight OK? We need to talk.

  Addison: Tonight’s fine.

  Jordan: What time? I can be there in an hour.

  Addison: An hour is perfect.

  An hour is also enough time for me to get myself together because right now, I’m suddenly feeling like a mess. A hot mess. As I hurry to the bathroom and turn on the shower, the questions begin.

  What do I wear? What do I say? Why did I have to wait this long to talk to him?

  Harlow is right. Everything else will sort itself out through the legal team. The rest—Jordan, specifically—is up to me. And I do want him, don’t I? It doesn’t even matter how long I’ve known him. All that is irrelevant when we have Piper. She’s the plus-one, the sum of us that doesn’t need to abide by any rules because what’s done is done. We had that one-night stand and it’s time we sleep in the bed we made… and oh, what a bed it is. I’m not complaining about that part one bit.

  But are we compatible… really compatible? Can we make this work? What if we’re total opposites? What if–?

  The doorbell rings and I freeze. Holy crap! It’s him! Have I really been standing here all this time? I’m still in my darn robe, my hair still wet from the shower. At least, I finished my shower and I brushed my teeth.

  Get a hold of yourself, Addy. At least, open the door.

  I will my hand to grip the doorknob. I do the same with my eyes, willing them to look up at him.

  Look at him and say you don’t like him one bit. Go ahead.

  But I can’t. Of course, I can’t.

  “Hi, Addy,” he says, looking as gorgeous as the first time I laid eyes on him at Polly’s, the world around him no longer in focus. Kind eyes. Sweet mouth. A body made for sin. And a heart of gold.

  “Hi, Jordan,” I say and before I know it, I pull him toward me, our bodies coming together like positive and negative magnetic fields that have no choice but to come together. It’s not just a physics thing. It’s this… lips kissing, hands gripping, grasping, feeling, bodies pressing together because words can’t convey how we really feel for each other.

  “Are you sure?” He asks as I press my body against him, not caring that the door is still open and our neighbors could be walking by.

  “Yes,” I breathe as I hear the door close and feel Jordan lifting me in his arms as my legs wrap around his hips and my arms circle his neck. “We can talk later.”

  He slips his jacket off his shoulder, tossing it to the floor. I feel his breath against my mouth, my cheek, my neck, the beating of his heart, fast against my breasts.

  No words… not yet.

  Just us stripped of clothing and everything we believe identifies us to the outside world.

  Just us kissing, biting, tasting each other until we stumble into the bedroom—because I’m practical and it feels more comfortable than standing up.

  And later, just us naked, giggling, laughing on the bed, giving and taking and accepting that sometimes, some things are just meant to be and I have to simply stop questioning and start believing.

  And finally… me, when I let him see me at my most vulnerable as I shatter into a million pieces before him knowing he’ll gather every piece and put me back together with a kiss, a look, a touch.

  The clock on my bedside table says it’s almost midnight. We’ve been in bed since eight and Jordan is asleep, his breathing soft against my hair. Until we start talking, I’ll call this visit a booty call but I’m not complaining. He’s here with me and that’s what matters.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  His voice startles me and I look up to see him watching me with a faint smile on his face. “How long have you been awake?”

  “Since your eyelashes ticked my chest,” he murmurs. “I can also feel you thinking deep thoughts again.”

  “Is that what I do? Deep thoughts?”

  He kisses the top of my head. “Yes, and it’s cute. So what’s on your mind?”

  “We never got to talk about what happened.”

  Jordan shifts his body so he’s lying on his back. As he pulls me closer to him, I prop myself against his side, my chin resting on his chest. He smells of sawdust and pine needles.

  “Now we can,” he murmurs. “I know the order is wacked
and maybe we should have talked first–”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does, but it’s done,” he says, stroking my hair as he studies my face. “I’m sorry about what Rachel did. She had herself admitted to the hospital today. And right now, that’s all I can ask of her.”

  “I’m suing her for violation of patient privacy.”

  “And you need to do what you need to do, Addy. I can’t tell you what to do. As for me, I’m holding off only because I need time to process everything that’s happened since I got back. You, Piper… and what she did. I need to take things one day at a time.”

  “I’m not telling you to sue her.”

  He shrugs. “I know you’re not. I also don’t want you to assume it’s not a big deal to me because it is. But I grew up with her; our families are close friends. She’s a friend of the family, Addy. She’s my dad’s best friend’s daughter. I’ve known her since she was six years old. Maybe even younger than that, I don’t remember now. But she and I have a history together that goes farther than dating.”

  “I understand.”

  “And I’m not saying this to convince you not to sue her. You need to make that decision on your own, Addy. What she did was wrong.”

  We don’t speak for a few moments and I can feel his fingers playing with my hair. “She still loves you.”

  Jordan shrugs. “Maybe, but I’ve moved on and she did, too, for a while. But I think seeing us together that day was just too much for her. I’d been gone for a year and all of a sudden, there I was with you and Piper.”

  “That must have been such a shock.”

  “I’m sure it was,” he says. “But I’ll never really know what she was thinking when she told everyone about Piper, even knowing what she knew about patient privacy.”

  “Will she be okay?”

  “I think so,” he replies. “Her father’s keeping an eye on her and Campbell apparently has been talking to her. He’s looking for inpatient rehab facilities in case she considers going into one. My sister is talking to her, too, from California. That’s how close the four of us are, it’s scary. People used to say she was my sister from another mister–”