“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“They’d fought for so long I was relieved at first—until they started trying to get information out of me and Kyle, using us like pawns in their never-ending battle. They even wanted us to testify that the other parent was ‘unfit’ to get custody of us, too.”
“That’s horrible.” All these years, Kyle had never mentioned any of this. Though, in retrospect, he’d never mentioned any of his family except Jared. I could understand why.
Jared trailed his fingers along the keyboard, staring at nothing while he spoke. “When I wouldn’t play their games they focused on Kyle, and it really messed with his head. He started doing drugs, he was sent to therapy—it was bad. I was supposed to go to Columbia but switched to UCLA at the last minute and rented us a place so Kyle could live with me while he finished high school. He got better once my parents gave him some space, and I think being in the band helped a lot, too. Since then it’s just been the two of us, except for the obligatory holiday dinners with one of our parents.”
No wonder the brothers were so close. I’d never known Kyle had such a dark past—he’d always seemed like the most balanced one in the band. I placed my hand over Jared’s, entwining our fingers together. “You’re a good brother.”
He was silent for a moment and then cleared his throat. “So have you started applying to grad schools yet?”
“Not yet. But now, with the show…I don’t know.” I removed my hand from his. My future used to be crystal clear and I’d known exactly what I wanted and how to get there, but joining the band had changed everything. Something had shifted in me over these past few weeks. I still wanted to write movie scores someday, but I wanted to focus on being the guitarist for Villain Complex, too. If we managed to win the show, there’d be tours and albums to record, and I didn’t know if there was room in that life for grad school, too. But I didn’t want to quit the band or leave behind this new part of myself. Or Jared.
“If you wanted to focus on school, we’d understand,” he said, as though he could read my thoughts. “I mean, we’d all cry and eat a lot of ice cream and listen to ‘Everybody Hurts’ by REM for days, but we’d eventually find some way to keep going.”
“Good to know.” I leaned against him, his body warm and comforting at my side.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to leave.” He brushed hair away from my face, his touch gentle. “But you can’t let anyone hold you back. Not your parents, not the band, and definitely not me. In the end, all we have are our dreams.”
“What if I don’t know what my dreams are anymore?”
“You’ll figure it out.”
I thought he would kiss me, but he turned back to the piano and started playing something. I became transfixed by the sight of his long fingers moving across the keyboard and his perfect wrists and tattooed forearms arching over it. When he started singing, his voice raspy and full of emotion, I recognized the piece as “Stay” by Rihanna. Was he singing this in response to what we’d talked about? Or was I reading too much into it?
I needed to kiss him, but his voice was so beautiful I didn’t want him to stop either. Instead, I pressed my lips to his collarbone, just above his shirt and his hidden VILLAIN tattoo. While he played, I trailed kisses along his neck, his skin humming against my mouth as he sang the chorus. I nibbled his earlobe and slid a hand along his thigh, trying to see how much of a distraction I could be. But still he kept playing.
As soon as he finished the song, he yanked me against him with a groan and pressed his mouth against mine. I moved to straddle him, my knees on either side of the piano bench, pushing my hips against his hard body. I didn’t care that anyone could walk in and see us. Knowing how wrong this was, how dangerously close to being caught we were, only made this more right. I clutched his unshaven face as we kissed, and the rough feel of his stubble against my fingertips made me wild. His hands dipped under my shirt and traced patterns along my back, sending shivers down my spine.
Now that we were finally alone, we couldn’t get enough of each other. His lips kissed down my neck like he needed to taste every inch of me, and the way he pressed his mouth against my pulse made me gasp. I tilted my head back, arching against him, digging my fingers into his shoulders. His hands smoothed up my stomach, along my ribs, inch by inch until he found my breasts. He circled my nipples through my bra, and I closed my eyes, losing myself in his touch. I couldn’t focus on anything but Jared and how badly I wanted him, without all these clothes in the way. But when I moved my hands to the button of his jeans, he stopped me.
“We can’t. Not here,” he whispered, glancing at the door.
I sighed, remembering there was another life outside of this room, outside of us. “I know.”
He pressed his forehead against mine while we tried to regain control of our breathing. “Trust me, I want to. God, you have no idea.”
“Oh, I have some idea,” I said with a slight smile. “But you’re right. And we have that interview with that website tonight, too.”
He groaned. “Yay, another interview.”
“You know you love them.”
“Maybe a little.” He gave me one last lingering kiss. “But I’d rather be alone with you.”
We reluctantly broke apart, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to go slow with Jared any longer.
* * *
The show really was trying to starve us. By the time we finished the interview, it was close to midnight, and no one had fed us since lunch. Once we got back to the hotel, the four of us immediately piled into the band’s van and headed out to find a late-night drive-thru. We ate burgers in the backseat, shoving food in our faces and laughing at the stupid questions we’d been asked earlier. “Which mentor would you want to date?” (Dan, obviously) and “what color would your music be?” (duh, black) were our favorites.
Once we were stuffed, we drove to the nearest supermarket, since we’d been living in a hotel for weeks and needed to stock up on basic things like toothpaste and deodorant. We stepped into the harsh fluorescent lights and I reached for a shopping basket, but Kyle stopped me.
“You’ll need a cart for this,” he said with a devilish grin. Wait—how much stuff were we getting?
“All right,” Jared said, rubbing his hands together. “Time for another round of Supermarket Treasure Hunt.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Only the greatest game ever,” Kyle said. Hector nodded solemnly, like this was serious business.
“Since Maddie’s new, I’ll go over the rules,” Jared continued. “We each grab a cart and split up. You have ten minutes to find three bizarre items anywhere in the store, and bonus points if they all follow a theme. The person with the most ridiculous treasures wins.”
“What do we win?” I asked.
“Bragging rights, of course,” Hector said.
“Um, yay?”
“Meet in front of the bananas in ten minutes,” Jared said. “Okay, go!”
The guys all shoved each other out of the way as they grabbed their carts. I followed behind them at a slower pace, laughing as they rammed their carts into each other’s and made race car sounds before darting down the aisles. I studied the signs and chose the pet supply section, figuring this downtown supermarket probably catered to all sorts of rich people living in lofts with their pampered pets. Luckily, the place didn’t let me down. I grabbed the three oddest things I could find and rushed back to the produce section.
Kyle and Jared turned a corner ahead of me, racing to get in front of each other and nearly knocking stuff off the shelves. Kyle arrived at the finish line first and seized a banana in each hand to do a victory dance, making me laugh.
“You totally cheated,” Jared said.
“Did not.”
Jared grabbed his brother and wrestled with him, their unshaved faces squished together while Kyle stuck out his tongue like he was dying. They had such a strong bond, and I loved seeing my two favorite guys being silly like thi
s.
“Ow, beard friction,” Kyle said, rubbing his cheek.
“We’re so hot we’re starting fires with our faces.” Jared ran a hand along his matching dark stubble, and it took all my effort to not reach for him, too. Sometimes this secret romance thing was pretty damn frustrating.
Kyle grinned. “Hey, that can be our next song.”
Jared belted out, “Fire in our beards / Ice in our hearts / You’ll get seared / Here in the mart.”
I laughed. “Sounds like a hit.”
He gave a dramatic bow while Hector wheeled his cart over. Once we were all together, Jared announced, “Time to see what we all got. Kyle, as reigning champion you go first.”
“My theme is ‘candy fail,’” Kyle said and held up each item to show us. “Lollypops with spiders in them. Bacon-flavored breath mints. And mushroom-shaped gummies that look like dicks. Bam!”
“Ew,” I said, not sure which of those things grossed me out the most.
“Nice finds,” Hector said. “But I’ll see your dick gummies and raise you my Crunchy Nude Balls.” He held up a box of Korean rice candy with that name.
“Hector, there are ladies present,” Kyle said, in an overly shocked way.
I held my hand over my heart. “It’s true. I’m a delicate flower who is easily offended.”
Hector snorted. “Of course you are. I also found these.” He showed us his other two items: a Tea Bag Buddy for mugs and a bottle of something called Head Lube. For shaving, maybe?
Jared nodded. “The ‘unintentional sexual innuendos theme.’ Always a good one.”
“I knew you’d approve.”
“My turn,” Jared said. “The theme tonight, ladies and gentleman, is ‘strange things in your bathroom.’ First up, garlic shampoo, so you can ward off vampires at all times and probably everyone else, too. Next, men’s grooming wipes in ‘boardroom scent,’ for when you need to feel both clean and extra-manly down there. And finally, drumroll please…lightsaber-shaped lip balm.”
“Um, I kind of want that,” I said.
“I figured.” He grinned and tossed it into my cart. “You’re up, Maddie.”
“This theme is ‘crazy pet owners,’” I said, as I pulled each item out of my cart. “Number one: fruit smoothies for all those health-conscious dogs. Number two: water for turtles and tortoises, for the ones too spoiled to swim in regular water. And number three: a book called…Crafting With Cat Hair.”
“What the shit,” Hector said, taking the book to page through it. “I think you win with this alone.”
Kyle leaned closer to look inside. “Agreed. Nothing can top fingerless gloves made out of fur balls.”
Jared grabbed my arm and raised it over my head. “I’m proud to introduce our new champion, Maddie Taylor!”
“Woo!” I yelled, and the other guys applauded and hooted. Thank god the store was empty at this hour.
“Good job, everyone,” Jared said. “Let’s put this stuff back before the people who work here kick us out.”
We split up to return our treasures and grab the things we actually needed. While I was deciding which snacks to get, Jared’s arms slid around me from behind and he placed a kiss on my neck.
“Hey, stop that.” I glanced around quickly, but we were alone in this aisle. It was only the thought of Hector or Kyle walking over that kept me from kissing him back.
“I couldn’t resist.” He let me go, and we pulled apart to an innocent distance but did the rest of our shopping together.
While we grabbed some beer, a girl about our age with bright pink extensions swayed down the aisle and stopped in front of us. She stared at Jared with narrowed eyes and then asked, “Are you famous?”
“Nope.”
“You look like that guy on that show. Um, that one show on TV, you know? In that band?”
He waited for her to get it out, smiling the entire time. “Oh, yeah?”
“Wait, you are that guy! Right? You’re, like, totally famous!”
He laughed. “Yeah, I am that guy.”
“Oh my god, I love you, I love your band. Can I have a hug?”
“Sure.” He held his arms out, and she rushed into them. Over her shoulder, he raised his eyebrows at me, an amused expression on his face. I covered my mouth to suppress a laugh. This was just too surreal, being attacked by a drunk fan in the middle of the night in a supermarket. I wondered if this sort of thing happened often to Jared. The girl didn’t even seem to notice I was standing there, too, but that didn’t surprise me. Jared was the face of this band for good reason.
“My friend is never going to believe this. She knows, like, all your songs,” the girl said. “Can I get a photo so I can make her jealous?”
“Of course. But you have to include my lovely guitarist too.” He dragged me in, though I scowled at him, and took a selfie of the three of us with her phone. “There you go.”
“Oh my god, thank you, I love you!” She grabbed him again, pressing her face against his shoulder. I’d be jealous if this wasn’t so hilarious.
“This has been so much fun, but we have to run,” Jared said when the girl wouldn’t let go of him. He mouthed, “Help!” but I shook my head and grinned.
As soon as we managed to escape across the store, we burst into laughter. “Does that happen a lot?” I asked.
“No, that was new. And very weird. I kind of want a shower actually.”
“Better get used to it. You’re ‘famous’ now. Soon you’ll have fangirls ripping off your clothes every time you go out.”
He moved closer, a teasing smile on his lips. “The only one I want ripping off—”
He cut off as Kyle and Hector rounded the corner and joined us, but I knew what he meant. We returned to friend mode and told them about the girl, and the other guys all laughed with us. It was a new kind of agony, being near Jared but being unable to actually be with him. But at the same time, I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this new family I’d become a part of either.
SIXTEEN
Carla hopped out of her ‘67 Mustang and grabbed me in a hug, and Julie dashed around to join us. With Dan’s help, I’d been able to score VIP tickets for tonight’s live show for my two favorite ladies, who were both back in town.
“I’m so happy you’re here!” I hugged them back hard. After being surrounded by nothing but testosterone for weeks, I really needed my girls again.
“I demand to see everything,” Julie said. “Dazzle me with your rock-star lifestyle.”
Carla shook her head, her dark curls bouncing. “She’s been talking nonstop the entire drive over. I kept turning the music up, but she just got louder.”
“What? I’m so freaking proud of Maddie I could scream.” She shrieked to demonstrate, and it echoed across the open-air parking lot.
“How are things going?” Carla asked me.
“Things are great. The show is amazing, and I’ve improved so much in these last few weeks, and playing with the band and on stage…there’s nothing like it in the world.”
“You do seem a lot happier than you’ve been in months. Maybe years.”
As we headed toward the Nokia Theatre, we passed the massive line of people hoping to get into tonight’s show.
“Thank god we don’t have to wait in that mess,” Julie said.
“Nope, you get the VIP treatment tonight. Backstage tour and—” I slid to a halt when I saw Jared ahead of us, near the front of the line. Groupies surrounded him, taking pictures with him and having him sign everything from their phones to their bra straps to their bare skin. He wore dark sunglasses and a black leather jacket, and with his hair spiked up, he looked every bit the bad boy rock star. A girl in a slinky dress pressed her red lips to his cheek, and he never dropped his smile. I wondered if any of his groupies could tell it was his stage smile and not his real one or if I was the only girl who knew that.
“Maddie?” Carla asked. She followed my gaze and then said, “Ah.”
I tore my eyes away af
ter another girl squeezed her body against him for a photo, and he whispered something in her ear. It was actually really cool of Jared to take the time to meet our fans. I didn’t know of any other musician on The Sound who did that, and there was no doubt all those people would vote for our band now. But these women were so much more aggressive than the one in the supermarket, and I wanted to shove them all aside and prop a big sign on him that said, “MINE.” I knew he had to keep up his reputation for the show, but god, it hurt to see him do it in front of me.
Julie clucked her tongue at me. “Still obsessed with him, I see.”
“I’m not obsessed.” Okay, maybe a little. For good reason. “Besides, we’re just friends.”
She nudged me with her hip. “Yeah, but you’d like to be more, right?”
“So nothing’s happened with him?” Carla asked.
“No,” I said, and my chest tightened up at the lie. I never kept anything from them, but there was too much at stake with the show and I didn’t know if the girls would be able to stay quiet tonight if I told them what was really going on. Especially Julie. She meant well, but she was terrible at keeping secrets. I’d tell them when our time on The Sound was over, assuming my whatever-this-was with Jared lasted that long.
I led my friends around the crowd, away from the Jared Cross Fan Club, and into the backstage area of the theater. I hoped giving them a behind-the-scenes tour of The Sound would keep all our minds off of my love life, but no such luck.
Near the rotating stage, Sean was talking to one of the roadies, and he perked up when he saw us. “Hey, Maddie. Are these your friends?” He held out his hand to each of them. “I’m Sean. Nice to meet you.”
Both Carla and Julie grinned at him like he was a giant chocolate cake, and I introduced them. “They’re here for the show tonight,” I added.
“You’re in The Static Klingons!” Julie blurted out. “I love you guys!”
He laughed and turned to me. “You didn’t tell me your friends were not only beautiful, but had great taste in music, too.”
BANGED: Rock Stars, Bad Boys & Dirty Deeds Page 75
