Honor Roll

by Collins, Kelly

My voice wavered, then steadied. This was Mim’s greatest hurt. She’d felt I’d given to so many others what I wouldn’t give to her, and she was right, but she was wrong, too.

  “Sex was mechanical for me. It was a job. Not unlike the job you do grading papers for Saunders.”

  “We are not talking about papers, we’re talking about a couple connecting and being honest with one another.” The murmuring continued, but Mim put a stop to it with an evil glare and loud shush.

  “Yes, we are. In complete honesty, I refused to dirty the woman I loved for selfish need. I wanted her so badly, but I wanted her the right way. In my mind, having sex with her at the same time as having sex with a client was the ultimate in disrespect. Every day I went to work, I was a day closer to making love to her. She was my reward.”

  Mim’s arms dropped from her chest to hang loosely at her sides. “You lied to protect yourself.”

  “Yes, I lied to protect what we had. I lied by omission, but look at what the truth did to us.”

  “Was there anything that was special for us?”

  “When I kissed you, I poured every bit of passion and love into you that I could. I’ve never kissed a client. My kisses were saved for you.”

  “What about sexual safety?” It was clear she was referring to the time I tasted her. I closed my eyes and remembered the moment when her body soared, and I held her while she cascaded down from her climax.

  “Barriers are used for everything from sex to oral sex. No skin-on-skin action.” I wasn’t going to tell her that I came all over Jessica’s chest because I’d never actually touched her; only my fluids did.

  Relief washed over her.

  “Really?”

  “There are rules, and I followed them. Testing is free, and I did that on a regular basis. Although the risk of me contracting something was almost nil.” Every fiber in my body wanted to jump from the stage and pull her into my arms, but I respected her personal space.

  “Your clientele, were they only women?”

  “Many escorts see both men and women, but I only saw single professional women.”

  “Why the E?” Mim was quick with her questions.

  I rubbed the E I’d stuck over my heart. “The woman I love likes The Scarlet Letter. During one conversation, she told me society judged too harshly. I’m hoping this will be a visual reminder to judge me fairly.” I pulled the top and middle lines from the E, leaving an L. “When this is over, I may graduate, or I may not, but I’ll walk out of this room knowing I left nothing unsaid, and I’ll carry all the love in my heart for you, Mim. I love you. I always will.”

  I collected my belongings and walked toward the stairs.

  “Mr. Gregorio?” Professor Saunders stood.

  “Yes, sir?” I turned and focused on the man who resembled a rock legend more than a teacher.

  “You’ve stunned us, but I think there’s a story here. I imagine you could write a book. The Scarlet Letter is already taken, but you’re a resourceful man, and I’m sure you could come up with something.” He chuckled. “In all seriousness, what’s next for you?”

  A smile danced on my lips. “I secured a job. My annual salary is a dollar, but the bonus potential is incredible. Right now,” I looked at my watch, “there’s a priest who’s reserved several hours of his time for me. Life is looking up.” I glanced past Saunders to Mim. “I hope I’ll see you soon, Mim. You know where to find me.”

  I was finished. Each trash can along the way received a piece of my past. My gym card, my medical insurance card, my flash drive, and the pieces I’d torn from my E were all thrown away. I was leaving the past behind and walking into my future.

  I reached up to peel the L off my chest and changed my mind. I’d wear my scarlet letter with pride. There was no shame in wearing your love outside your heart.

  Father Tobin had prepared for my visit. He had a full pot of coffee ready and some cookies on a tray. Lord, was I going to be here long enough to miss a meal?

  “Father Tobin, I’ve never been to a face-to-face confession. I’m at a loss.” I’d always walked into the confessional and blurted out my sins in relative privacy.

  “It’s no big deal, Luca. We’re just two friends talking. Have a seat.” I paced the room that was devoid of scowling saints. The only presence was Father Tobin, a statue of Mary, and me.

  Three hours later, I was exhausted but wired. I’d drunk three cups of full octane coffee and ate every cookie from the plate.

  I had several acts of contrition to complete before I was as clean as a new penny, but I’d made it through the worst of it. I didn’t go to confession to empty my soul; it was more of a cleansing of my conscience—a coming to terms with who I was, and who I wanted to be.

  My body rocked in front of Father Tobin. I wasn’t sure if I should shake his hand, keep my distance, or embrace him. The man groaned when I wrapped him in a bear hug and squeezed.

  * * *

  I sat at the front of the church. The beads slid through my hands as I recited my third Hail Mary. When I bent to retrieve them from the tile floor, the scent of lilacs swirled around me. I closed my eyes and prayed.

  A hand reached down and took mine. My heart raced. Hope bloomed inside of me. Slowly, I opened my eyes, and bliss warmed me from within. My prayers were answered.

  “Mim, what are you doing here?”

  “I thought I’d kneel beside you and lend my support. How many do you have left?” She twined her fingers with mine.

  “One more, and then I’m finished. I think the three hours I spent in his office granted me grace.”

  “I’m proud of you, Luca. What you did today took courage. I have a thing for courageous Italian men.” She pulled the rosary through our fingers. “Let’s do this last one together.”

  I didn’t know why Mim was here, but the fact that she was, was a miracle, and I was in a place where miracles could happen. We ran through the beads with efficiency. After the last “Amen”, I tried to swim in the softness of her eyes. I wasn’t sure where this moment would leave us, but I hoped it wouldn’t end.

  “What now?”

  Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “I know it’s far below your average, but I have a hundred dollars.” Her cheeks turned pink.

  “You are not sitting in church, offering me money for—”

  “Of course not. I’m offering to take you to dinner.” She toyed with my hair, making tingles skitter down my spine.

  “I’m starving. Where are we going?” The red L glowed under the bright lights of the church.

  Mim reached for it, but I stopped her from pulling it free. “No, I like it. I don’t know if you’ll ever want more with me, but I’ll wear this every day to prove my commitment to you. There is no shame in loving you.”

  “Luca, I’m sorry. I didn’t handle that well.” Her shoulders rounded like an aged woman. “It’s not every day a girl finds out her boyfriend is an escort.”

  “Your reaction was understandable.” I pinched her chin and raised her face to meet mine. “I should have said something, but there was no benefit in divulging my dirty secret. I feared I would lose you, and it happened anyway.”

  “Oh, Luca, if the man upstairs can forgive you, who am I to argue?” She leaned in, and my heart hammered in my chest. When she pressed her lips to mine, the world stood still. My hands ran the length of her back and gripped her hair, pulling her closer to me.

  “Mim.” I groaned. “I love you.”

  Her mouth opened, and I wasted no time brushing my tongue against hers. I made love to her mouth with more passion than ever before. Breathless and shaking, I broke away.

  “Let’s get out of here. I’m starved, Luca, but not for food. Are you ready to give me more?” She pulled me by the arm toward the big wooden doors.

  “I’m willing to give you everything.”

  Could she hear the booming of my heart? Each beat was a declaration of my commitment to her.

  Chapter 20

  Cabs were easy to flag dow
n when you were desperate, and I was desperate to be alone with Mim. I tossed a twenty at the driver when he pulled up in front of my apartment.

  We ran the three flights of stairs to my door. I fumbled with the keys until she ripped them from my hand and jammed them into the lock. Mim had no problem with being direct.

  I ran my hands down her arms and basked in the beauty of her presence. “Mim, tell me what you want.” I couldn’t risk any misinterpretations. If she left me again, I would be crushed beyond repair.

  Gripping both hands, she pulled me to the bedroom. “I want you. I want all of you.” She stopped inside the door of my room. “Isn’t it time I got you all to myself?” Her expression wasn’t accusatory. It was loving and warm.

  “I don’t deserve you but I want you.”

  “I know.” She nipped at my lip. “I’ll make you deserve me, Luca. You’re a good man who was lost. My father has reminded me of that every day since we broke up.”

  “I’m glad you found me.” We walked toward the bed, and I pulled her shirt over her head. Pink lace covered her perfect breasts. I ran a finger over the lacy edge, and her breath hitched. “I’m going to do to you what I’ve never done to anyone in my life.”

  She pulled at my jacket, tugging it off my body. “What’s that?” She tired of plucking my buttons free one at a time and yanked my shirt open. Little white disks flew through the air.

  I shed my shirt and gripped her hands. “I’m going to make love to you.” I picked her up and placed her in the center of my bed. “God, you are exquisite.” Today wouldn’t be rushed. I’d put her off for so long, dreaming of this day—this moment. It would be criminal to race through it.

  I toed off my shoes, pulled off my socks, and climbed on the bed next to her. She pulled my finger into her mouth as soon as I touched her plump, kissable lips. Energy surged through my veins. All I could imagine were her lips wrapped around my hard shaft.

  Picking up her hand, I sucked each finger until she squirmed beside me. “Luca, I need you.”

  “Baby, you have me.”

  “Now.”

  “Nope.”

  “We’re doing this again?” She stilled and bolted upright.

  She must have thought I was going to hold her off once more. “Nope.” My erection strained against my pants until I dropped them and set it free. “We’re doing this for the first time.” I slid onto the bed next to her. “You only get one first time.” I brushed my lips across her neck and up to her ear, where I whispered, “I want it to be special.”

  Her body shivered under my touch. Her skin prickled when I grazed my fingers under the edge of her bra. Her nipples rose to peaks beneath the lace. I pulled one cup down and replaced it with my mouth. When I latched onto her nipple, her hips rose from the bed.

  My free hand pushed her down and skimmed the outside of her panties. Stroking her through the lace, I could feel the dampness of her arousal. The slow pace was killing me, but her shallow breaths drove me forward.

  One-handed, I pulled her underwear free and dipped my fingers into her sweetness. I remembered her taste, and I craved more. Her sounds, her scent, her feel, called to me—screamed at me to dive in and take what was mine, but my heart told me to slow down. Mim deserved an experience that would wash any doubt that I loved her away.

  I slid from the bed and took one of her feet. The last time I’d kissed them, her toenails were painted pink. Today, they were red. Passion red, like the flush that covered her skin. When I pulled a toe between my lips, she pulled away and giggled.

  “No, no sucking my toes.” She reached down and pulled at me to move up her body. “Are you into that?”

  I pulled her foot to my mouth. “I’m into you, Mim, and I want to get intimately acquainted with your entire body.” Her foot flexed when I ran my tongue up her instep. After several minutes of massaging, I moved on to her ankles. They were small and feminine. I kissed both of them and moved to her calves. Long walks across campus and hours at the gym had given her shapely legs.

  The backs of her knees were sensitive. I loved the way she squirmed when I ran my mouth across the crease of her knee. When it came to her thighs, they were works of art. No sculptor could have done a finer job than nature did. All I could think about was those thighs squeezing my hips. My dick twitched, pressing me to move forward in my exploration.

  Her hipbones, her belly button, each of her ribs steered a path to her heart.

  “Mim, I want to bury myself in your body, but more important to me is burying myself in your heart.” A quick tug, and her bra fell free. My lips found their home on her left breast, as physically close to her heart as I could get.

  She moaned as I pulled the puckered bud into my mouth and caressed her other breast with my free hand.

  “You broke my heart, and you mended it.” She pulled me up by my arms and pressed her forehead to mine. Her sharp blue eyes pricked at my soul. “My heart is yours, keep it safe. I love you, Luca. I have since that day I told you to ride out the storm, and you said it was a damn tsunami.” She licked at my lower lip. “You’re a damn hurricane, Luca, but I love you anyway. Now make love to me.”

  I grabbed a condom from the nightstand and rolled it over my aching length. Poised above her, I nudged at her entrance. Never taking my eyes from hers, I watched her melt into the sheets as I pressed deep inside her body.

  I’d had sex hundreds, maybe thousands of times, and nothing ever felt like Mim did. She completed me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. She challenged me, she frustrated me, and she loved me. She was right, I didn’t deserve her, but I had her, and I was never letting her go.

  * * *

  One week later, Mim and I were lounging on her bed. I was writing my business plan for the Kent Center for Opportunity while Mim graded the last of Professor Saunders’ papers.

  “Oh my God,” she yelled. She bounced up and down, causing her laptop to plummet to the carpeted floor.

  I bolted upright, sending my notebook flying across the bed. “What? What’s wrong?” Something significant had occurred.

  She leaned over the bed to pick up the computer. The blanket fell from her luscious bare hips. The world could be ending, and I no longer cared. Mim was naked in bed with me, and all was right in my world.

  She opened her computer and pulled up the final grades for Professor Saunders’ class. “Look.” She pointed to my grade, barely a C. “You passed.” She dropped the computer and climbed into my lap. “My hot Italian stud is going to graduate. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Mim, there was a time where making money, earning respect, and graduating were the focus of my life.” I rested my hands on her hips and pinned her with a look of love and devotion. “Those things are great, but they’re not important. You opened my eyes, and you opened my heart.”

  “Are you seducing me, Mr. Gregorio?”

  “No, I’m loving you the best way I know how, with my mind, my heart, and my soul.”

  “Add your body, and we have a long-term deal.” She sank onto my hardened length and made love to me.

  For good or bad, The Dean’s List brought me to this point—to this woman—to this magnificent moment. I might have barely graduated, but I’d graduate with honor—my honor, and I’d have Mim by my side. She was a keeper, and she was mine.

  Thank you for reading.

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  Sneak Peek into The Learning Curve

  Twenty years ago

  Coco Chanel had it right when she said, “There are people who have money, and people who are rich.” The people she forgot to mention were those who were neith
er—the poor bastards living paycheck to paycheck, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. I was one of Coco Chanel’s forgotten, but I planned to change that.

  The Paul in my life was tuition, rent, and groceries. I’d maxed out my loans. I’d maxed out my credit cards. I’d maxed out my options. I was down to living off hopes and dreams. Three-quarters done with college and fully committed to finishing.

  I glanced at my watch—a Timex. I endeavored to be like its slogan: Takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Like this watch I’d dropped, washed, and lost a dozen times, I was no quitter.

  My last-ditch effort was this meeting with the dean of the school. I’d hounded him with fifteen letters, twenty-two phone calls, and a five-hour sit-in in the reception area of his office. The letters went unanswered, and the calls were not returned, but the sit-in did the trick. He took one look at me and scheduled an appointment. It turned out that his secretary was taking the summer off to tour Europe and he was looking for a temp.

  I gathered my things and raced across campus to his office. What I lacked in experience, I made up for in determination.

  I had no idea what the job entailed, but I was game for anything. A summer job would keep me from returning to the commune. I was finished with community gardening and free love. I wanted more. I wanted the power and control that came with a degree.

  The glass ceiling was there; it sparkled and shone and gave you a glimpse of a possible future, but it was bulletproofed. There was no way to break through if you were a woman with limited means. All I knew was that Dean Hollings held the power when it came to this school, and power was something I craved. Hopefully, he’d offer me the job.

  In front of his door, I pulled it together. I pinched my cheeks, straightened my skirt, and applied fresh lip gloss. After a long, cleansing breath, I walked inside. Something told me today was the start of something big.