“Kryvek used to do that all the time on nature hikes. I didn’t know you had the ability.”
“Look at me.” Lira tipped Christine’s head back so she saw her friend’s face upside down. She wrapped her hands around Christine’s cheeks, thumbs meeting on the forehead and fingertips meeting at the chin.
An interesting aspect of Elf magic is that the same incantations can never be used twice. They can be on a similar theme, but most spells were off-the-cuff compositions. This meant most Elves were capable poets and composers, for the magic was in the words, notes, and rhyme. The better writer someone was, the more powerful he or she became. Lira was not the best with words, but she was an artist.
In Elvish, Lira sang, “Like the wind that rushes through the vale, I bring peace and life to you, as the forest wanders along the trails, resilience, courage, and cheer may ring true, may those who are weak rise up and fight, take the power from me until the night. When I count to three, I trust, all will be shared among both of us. One for delicacy that you crave, two for the love that you have saved, and three so that you may now be brave.”
Lira gasped as vitality and her usual rock-hard exterior drained from her body, glowing slightly orange as it rushed into Christine. Christine stood up and put an arm around Lira, and they reached their apartment together. Once they shut the door, they collapsed onto the carpet in an untidy heap.
Christine giggled. “I think you gave me too much.”
“Definitely. I suppose you’re making dinner?”
“As long as you don’t mind lentil stew.”
“That sounds great, actually. I like lentils.”
“Lucky. You would actually enjoy the diet I’m on, but you’re so thin. How do you manage it?”
Lira groaned. “Do you have to start the why-am-I-so-fat game again? I keep telling you, it’s only a tiny part of who you are.”
“Then why must I be human? All of you have cool powers and mysterious heritage and drop-dead-gorgeous everything. It’s not fair.”
“But...you’re...cute!” On the final word, Lira attacked Christine with tickles.
“Stop! Ahh! No!” Christine jumped up and ran into her room, locking the door behind her. “I’m changing into PJ’s. I hope you don’t mind.”
Just next door, John wearily trudged into the foyer. “I had a terrible day today, and I’m sorry if I come across as a little touchy.”
Sarah looked up from her wok where she was stir-frying shrimp. “I’m so sorry to hear that, dear. What happened?”
“I lost a case, and the prosecution insulted me personally, and my boss is not pleased at all. I didn’t get to eat lunch, either—I was so busy, and my stomach growled in the middle of a meeting. Very embarrassing.”
Sara set the stove on low and went to hug him. Hugs had been a little awkward because of her pregnancy, but John compensated by leaning down and kissing her on the mouth. Then he rubbed her shoulder blades, kissing harder.
“I went to the mall today,” she said, pulling away.
“Wait. What’s this?” John picked a hair off her shoulder.
“Just a hair,” Sara said.
“Whose is it?”
“You’re getting this all wrong, John. It’s the wife who’s supposed to pick a blonde hair off the husband and accuse him of fooling around. You’re not acting according to stereotype.” She smiled, but John didn’t smile back.
He spread the hair out. “It’s about four feet long. Did you go to a hairdresser?”
“No...”
“It’s brown.”
“I see that it is.”
“It wouldn’t by any chance be that kid’s, would it?”
“What kid?”
“The one who’s pretending to be an Elf even though it’s not funny anymore.”
“I showed him around a little today,” Sara admitted.
John grabbed her by the upper arms, now with a scowl. “Is that a euphemism for something else?”
“No! He needed to buy some clothes, and he’d never seen a mall before, so I went with him.”
“Doesn’t seem to be the sort of thing that requires close contact.”
“He fell asleep on the bus ride and leaned on me, that’s all.”
“I think you’re lying.”
“John, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying you’re going around with young men—younger than me, younger than you—and trying to hide it from me. Not exactly the model wife.”
“Let go of me, please.”
“You haven’t let me sleep in our bedroom since that argument we had.”
“That’s because you’re being an idiot. Edofine is really an Elf. So is Kryvek. I touched their ears, and they’re real. I’ve seen them do magic. And there’s a demon in their oven. His name’s Krith and I talked to him.” Sara tried to push him away. “Let go of me. I’m not going to ask again.”
John looked lost and deeply pained. “How about you go lie down, Sara, and I’ll call the doctor. We don’t want you seeing demons everywhere. I can take care of dinner. Okay?”
“I’m not crazy!”
“Then are you cheating on me?”
“No!” Sara bit his arm.
“Ow!” He slapped her and then stepped back. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to...oh, honey, I know you’re scared.I It’s okay. I’m sorry.” He held his hands out, supplicating, begging.
Sara screamed, thinking he was attacking her. She ran across the hall, into Kryvek’s apartment, and slammed the door. She locked both locks and drew the deadbolt with trembling fingers. Kryvek, reeling from all the fear Sara was broadcasting, jumped up from where he sat reading the newspaper and took her hand. “You’re frightened. Why?”
“John hurt me,” she sobbed out, crumpling up on the floor.
Kryvek saw the red hand mark, where all five fingers were visible, on her cheek and stroked her hair. “It’s all right, you’re safe here. I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding.”
Edofine came out of the bathroom wearing his new blue jeans and brown polo shirt, slightly incongruous with his waist-length hair. His hands were over his ears and he rushed over to Sara as well. “Lady Sara, we are here to protect you. What is it you fear?”
Sara clutched at his legs and spoke between gasps and wheezes, tears falling fast. “John thinks I’ve been pushing him away and hanging around with you because I’m cheating on him. He won’t believe me. He thinks I’ve gone insane, because he won’t believe any of you either. He doesn’t believe in magic or other species. I’m scared he’s going to...”
John pounded on the door. “Get away from my wife! You people are messing with her mind or something! She loves me, okay? Get it? Leave both of us alone!”
“I will not open my door until you calm down, sir,” Kryvek replied.
“Don’t be insolent with me, punk! Sara? Sara? Can you hear me? I’m sorry. You don’t have to go to a doctor. I don’t think it’s you’re fault. These people are what’s wrong. Let’s go stay at a hotel tonight and we can move later. Okay? Baby? Sugar honey lemon pie?” He kicked the door as well, then let out a groan of pain. His voice grew weaker. “Sara, Sara, I love you. I’m sorry, Sara. Come back, please come back.”
Edofine grunted with the weight as he picked Sara up and carried her to the couch, sitting next to her with his arms around her as she cried. “Do not be ashamed. Cry as much as you wish. You will feel better afterwards. All we need to do is let him grow calm, and Christine can mediate your disagreement. John would listen to Christine, right? She is a human like he is, though not the kind with the dark skin that is no different from the kind with light skin. Right?”
Sara smiled slightly through the curtain of tears. “You’re picking up political correctness pretty quickly.”
“I still trust not human males. The females are agreeable.”
Krith said, “Hey, Ed, does that mean we’re not gonna play charades?”
“We can play charades, my friend, but how we will manage with you
being in the oven remains to be seen.” Edofine patted Sara on the back. “Would you like to play charades? Kryvek has taught us.”
“Maybe later,” sniffled Sara.
Kryvek, meanwhile, was singing incantations so every part of the door he touched turned to stone. First the stone was pumice, but when he altered the meter of his song he managed to produce a glossy gray marble. It would hold until morning, and then vanish.
“I’m going to stand right here until you give Sara back,” John announced. “I’m not impressed with your fancy tricks, making it look like you did something to the door.”
Lira opened her door. “Mister Tuft, we’d like to talk to you.”
“I’m not leaving your brother’s door.”
“He’s not my brother, he’s Christine’s brother by adoption. You will come, even if I have to bleed for it.”
“I’m not budging.”
“I guess I’ll have to bleed for it, then.” Lira took off one of her hoop earrings and plunged the sharp end into her index finger, wincing slightly. She stepped over to John and touched the bleeding finger to John’s own index finger.
To John’s alarm, the fingers stuck. He found himself dragged ignominiously into Lira and Christine’s apartment, and the moment he managed to get loose, he backed into a corner. “Is this some form of Mafia? I thought this was a low-crime town.”
“It’s a low-human town by most standards, though humans are still the majority,” Christine said. She wore cotton pajamas with Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger cavorting among the print. “Care for something to eat? I could hear you offering to cook for Sara, so I assume you haven’t had dinner yet.”
John was speechless. Lira scooped a bowl for him and put it on the kitchen table. “We promise that we will not harm or insult you in any way, even if I really, really want to. The Elves won’t do anything to Sara. They’re just going to shelter her until she feels safe with you again.”
“I just got so mad,” John murmured, cautiously sitting down. He poked at the stew with a spoon, as if trying to see if anything had been added.
“Eat it, it isn’t drugged,” Christine admonished, sitting across from him. Lira sat next to him.
“We can vouch for Edofine. He’s as innocent and uncalculating as a sapient being gets,” Lira said.
“How do you know he’s not lying?”
“Elves are terrible liars even when they try, which isn’t often.”
John grumbled and crossed his arms. “You all keep pretending you’re fantasy creatures. It isn’t funny at all.”
“What will it take to convince you?” Christine asked.
“Nothing will, because Elves don’t exist.”
Lira sucked on her finger. “What about my adhesive blood?”
“You could’ve put Super Glue on your hand before you came out.”
“Then why am I able to take the finger out of my mouth? Why did it let you go?”
“Well—it can’t. That’s all. Can’t, won’t, isn’t, shouldn’t, never will be.” John grew petulant in tone and body language.
“You believe in atoms, don’t you?” Christine asked.
“What a weird question. Obviously I do.”
“But you’ve never seen atoms. For all you know, it may be an elaborate hoax.”
“Atoms make sense, damn it! Elves don’t.”
“I think I see what the problem is,” Christine said, between bites. “You’re scared that if all this turns out to be true, you will have behaved inexcusably. You would have to admit that you were wrong, which is terrifying for anyone. My dad went through that when we adopted Kryvek, and he kept trying to prevent Kryvek from doing what he called his ‘silly little tricks’. Eventually he got slapped in the face—metaphorically—enough times to realize that there were things in the world he did not know about. Is it a crime to not know about things? The only wrong occurs when you refuse to accept new knowledge.”
“Maybe,” John said in a very small voice.
“Also, Edofine isn’t in love with Sara. He’s in love with me,” Lira said. “He proposed on the second day of knowing me, and we’re going on a date tomorrow evening.”
Christine and John both asked, “What?”
* * * *
In Kryvek’s apartment, Sara was laughing at Krith. “Interesting interpretation of the word ‘evil.’”
“I already look evil to humans, so what should I do if I want to add to it?” replied the Archaedemon, slapping his thighs and chuckling.
Sara sighed. “It feels wrong to hide from John. He loves charades.”
“Care for linguine?” Kryvek asked, setting the table.
Edofine was busy setting up blankets for him to sleep on the floor. Kryvek would sleep on the couch, and Sara would have a room to her own and the one bed in the apartment, despite her protests. “All pain will fade, and smiles live long.”
“Is that an Elf saying?” Sara asked.
“Yes.”
John found out that night that sleeping in a half-empty bed is worse than sleeping on a couch with your wife a yard away. He hoped she wouldn’t call the police on him. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered to the empty air. He dreamed of Elves chasing him through the forest—they were so beautiful, and he was so lost.
Chapter Eleven
Mediators and Spouses and Dates
Everyone went to their respective offices or lack thereof, with Sara returning to her and John’s apartment to continue unpacking and Edofine reading history and technology books, interspersed with talking to Krith. The two males discussed the benefits and detriments of human society. Krith shared his romantic conquests and spectacular failures. Edofine gushed about Lira and speculated what he would learn about her in the future.
Six individuals gathered around Christine and Lira’s kitchen as soon as everyone came home. No one had eaten dinner yet. John and Sara sat across from each other, Lira next to Sara, and Christine sat next to John. Edofine dangled his legs from the counter, equidistant from Sara and Lira. Kryvek stood behind Christine’s chair.
“All right,” Christine began, “we’ll do this like a Peer Mediation session. I was a peer mediator in school, but fewer than a dozen students actually came to us because we were the ultimate dorks. Sigh. Anyway, first Sara will tell her side of the story, with no interruptions. Then John will tell his side, and we will discuss what each of you wants out of this conflict, and draw up a contract to satisfy both sides as much as possible, which you will both sign. Agreed?”
Everyone nodded. Edofine smiled, thinking about his picnic with Lira that evening, then grew worried because he could hear John’s misinterpretation of that smile and very much wanting to strangle the Elf. “Please, sir, I mean no disrespect. Please hate me not.”
“How did you know?” John asked.
Kryvek and Christine intoned, “Because he is an Elf.”
John pushed his glasses up his nose and slumped over onto his elbows. “You guys keep saying that.”
“Do you believe us yet?” Sara asked, a tinge of exasperation in her voice.
“Everybody’s ganging up on me,” John moaned.
“We’re digressing, and we shouldn’t,” Christine said.
Sara took a deep breath. “We’ve seen evidence upon evidence that Edofine, Lira, and Kryvek aren’t human. All of you except John have seen Krith. John refuses to believe in Elves and Eudemons and Archaedemons, but he won’t even look at the evidence while claiming that there is no evidence at all. Why can’t he just go talk to Krith? You can’t fake that. Naturally I’m not going to share a bed with someone who’s being so closed-minded, and I am also not going to deny help to someone who obviously needed it. No one else was available to take Edofine to the mall and explain appliances to him, so I had to do it. Is it a crime to be helpful and to enjoy the company of someone who is practically a child?”
“I resent that,” Edofine said. “I am very mature for a thirty-six year-old.”
John blurted out, “Thirty-six? You look l
ike you’re in high school, college at the latest.”
“In human developmental terms, Edofine is eighteen. Elves age approximately half as quickly as humans do. No more interruptions please.” Lira folded her hands in front of her and continued to have an impassive face, despite Edofine timidly, gently, stroking her hair. She didn’t respond, but she didn’t prevent him, either.
“As I was saying,” Sara continued, with an envious look at the non-human couple, “John had no cause to suspect me of being unfaithful. He should also stop ignoring the truth and accept you people’s non-human nature.”
“We’re humane, we’re just not human,” Kryvek quipped. He bit his lip to avoid commenting on the blast of frustration emanating from John. The closest analogy would be trombones shrieking. Edofine reacted to the storm of emotion by hugging himself tightly and rocking back and forth.
“Can I talk now?” John asked, tapping one foot.
Christine asked, “Are you finished, Sara?”
“I might think of something later, but that’s basically it. Oh, and John slapped me.” She turned her head so the red hand mark on her cheek was more visible. “I bit him only because he was restraining me.”
John cleared his throat. “First off, I want to say that I’m a reasonable, hard-working, caring man. I’m also a realist. Do you expect me to all of a sudden believe that magic is real, Elves exist, and our new neighbors are not human? It’s very jarring and contrary to everything I’ve believed in all my previous life. It was more likely that Sara was being taken in for a fool, so I became suspicious of all of you. I may have been wrong, but it was the most logical thing at the time. Whatever the situation may have been, when your wife won’t even share a room with you and starts spending hours of time alone with a younger man–”
“Male,” Edofine corrected, then grabbed his ears. “Ai! Please! Your annoyance is very loud.”
“Fine, male—and there’s evidence of some body contact—it will raise doubts and, yes, some jealousy. I’m very sorry I flew off the handle, but Sara really should have been more considerate.”
“You’re right,” Sara said slowly. “It was unkind of me and I should have considered your feelings. It’s just that we left our friends behind when we moved here, and I’m used to working, so I’m lonely when you’re gone.”
Humans and Demons and Elves Page 9
