Kiss It Better

by Jenny Schwartz

  ‘It’s not in his nature to give up.’

  ‘Nor in yours.’

  There was no time for further private talk. Orders were taken, meals served and conversation was general, wide-ranging and loud. He knew his family, though, and beneath the good humour, decisions were being finalised. Cassie and he received a lot of attention.

  She answered questions about JayBay, her dad and Jardin Bay, and grimaced at any mention of Leighton.

  ‘Don’t fuss,’ Great-Aunt Celeste advised her. ‘All families have screw ups.’

  ‘Why are you looking at me?’ Paula protested.

  ‘I wasn’t. That’s your guilty conscience.’

  Everyone laughed.

  People watched Theo’s dad, too. Gordon was well liked and respected. No one wanted to hurt him, Theo least of all.

  If he weren’t so stubborn, the old man would withdraw from contention for the CEO position. While most of the table ate rich meals of pasta with heavy cream sauces or roast pork with extra crackling or other unhealthy delights, Gordon had fish dishes, a plain cheeseboard and decaffeinated coffee. He had to watch his health.

  By the last spoonful of tiramisu, Cassie was completely relaxed with his family. She pushed aside the scraped bowl and elbows on table, sipped her coffee.

  Theo drank his own with an eye to the time. The sooner the board voted and decided things, the better for everyone. He was confident of the outcome, but there was still a twist of anxiety inside him for his dad’s response.

  Great-Uncle Patrick, chairman of the board, set down his cup of tea. ‘Lunch was delightful as always, once I turned my hearing aid down.’ The old joke never failed to please. ‘But we have some business to finalise. Members of the board?’

  They rose.

  Cassie looked up at Theo anxiously. He bent and kissed her. ‘Whatever happens, you’ve helped. Thank you.’

  ‘Good luck.’

  He straightened to see his dad staring at him and his mum faintly frowning beside him. Then she smoothed out the frown. His mum had courage, like Cassie.

  As always, with so many family members and some of them old enough to want a post-lunch nap, it took a while to settle everyone around the boardroom table.

  Theo would be voting his own small share of Brigid Care stock and his brother Connor’s proxy. Connor had told their dad ahead of time, but hadn’t made it back from Iceland for the meeting. He was studying geothermal energy.

  Uncle Pat called the meeting to order. ‘We can vote or Gordon and Theo can say a few final words?’ He looked a question at Gordon.

  Theo’s dad stood. ‘You know my track record. Eleven successful years as head of Brigid Care. This company is my life, my heritage and my gift to the future.’ His passion was genuine, but around the table, people avoided his eyes. He placed both hands, fisted, on the table and leaned forward. ‘This is all our heritage, Morrigan heritage. We need to be exploring opportunities, taking risks, creating the sort of company we can be proud of. That is what I did for eleven years and that is what I’ll do again. Theo minded the store for me and I’m grateful, but minding the store isn’t enough. I have the commitment and vision to lead Brigid Care.’

  Yet as he uttered the impassioned speech, Gordon saw that he wasn’t taking the group with him. The realisation showed in the abrupt way he sat and the glare he sent around the table before frowning at his son.

  Theo didn’t stand. ‘You know what I want for Brigid Care: a refocus on its traditional values. Everyday good health for everyone. Economically, things are uncertain in the world, but people trust our brand and we need to deliver on that promise. We need to be there with reliable products focussed on people’s good health and well-being.’ Heads nodded. ‘We build strong and we build to last.’ He looked at his dad. ‘And we do it together. That’s the Morrigan way.’

  ‘You’re not a Morrigan.’

  ‘Gordon!’ Theo’s aunt glared at her brother.

  Theo didn’t understand. If the accusation was that he was moving the company away from its heritage that just wasn’t true. ‘Dad.’

  ‘You’re not my son.’

  ‘Disowning me is a bit melodramatic…’ Theo stopped.

  His aunt was on her feet and shouting. ‘Shut your stupid mouth, Gordon Morrigan. You’ll regret this till the day you die.’

  ‘I will not let the boy steal my company.’

  ‘Our company,’ Uncle Pat rumbled.

  Theo’s dad scowled at him and everyone. ‘Louise was pregnant when I married her, but not with my kid. You’re no Morrigan.’ Gordon turned on them. ‘Theo’s not my kid.’

  The couple of cousins Theo’s age goggled, astounded, but the older generations weren’t shocked. They were uncomfortable, disapproving of Gordon, but not shocked by the revelation.

  ‘Not by blood, but by every other way,’ Uncle Pat said. ‘We’ve always known.’

  ‘Too handsome to be your kid, Gordon,’ Aunt Bernice got her jab in.

  ‘But Theo is family,’ Uncle Pat concluded. He looked at Theo. ‘Always was, always will be. We love you.’ He coughed, embarrassed by emotion. ‘Vote.’

  Even those family members Theo had expected to vote for Gordon voted for Theo. Only Theo didn’t vote. He couldn’t.

  He stared across at his dad. No, at Gordon.

  A stranger stared back, red-faced, frustrated and lost. The man who’d taught Theo to ride a bike and to honour his responsibilities.

  ‘I’m withdrawing,’ Theo said. ‘I won’t be CEO of Brigid Care.’

  ‘Theo.’

  He barely noticed the chorus of voices. He shook off a cousin’s grip on his arm. As he walked out, Aunt Bernice was already on the phone. ‘Louise, your idiot husband — ’

  The door banged shut behind him. Theo ran down the stairs, taking the familiar steps three at a time.

  On the street, he glanced right and saw the family standing outside the restaurant, still talking, some wandering off on their own concerns. His mum was on the phone, Cassie beside her in her bright dress. He was too far away to read their expressions, but he saw his mum’s head come up, looking his way.

  He’d go home, get on his motorbike — his own, not some rented ride — and get some distance, some perspective on how a man’s whole life could be a lie.

  The tie went as he entered the house. Dropped on the floor. Jacket next, on the kitchen counter.

  ‘Theo, what’s wrong?’ Cassie.

  He didn’t hesitate, but wrenched off his shirt.

  She stood in the doorway to his bedroom, shoes in one hand.

  Had she run in them, or worse, run barefoot on a city footpath? He shook his head.

  ‘Your mum said there’s something wrong. Did they vote against you?’

  ‘Only Dad. Gordon.’ He sat on the bed to unlace his shoes. ‘Is Mum following you here?’

  ‘I’d think so. She’s worried.’

  ‘Lock the door.’

  ‘She’s your mum.’

  He brushed past her, socks slipping on the polished floorboards, and locked the door.

  When he came back to his room, Cassie stopped him, both hands pressed to his bare chest. ‘Tell me what’s wrong.’

  ‘Why not? Dad just told the world.’ An exaggeration, but Theo was in no mood to be fair. ‘Apparently I’m not his son. The family knew.’

  ‘You’re adopted?’

  How could he be so aware of her hands on his body when he was lost to everything else, his brain and emotions spinning without a compass? ‘Nope. I’m Mum’s kid, just not Gordon’s. Hence not fit to run Brigid Care.’

  ‘For hell’s sake. Your dad shared that to win a boardroom power play?’

  He unbuckled his belt. ‘I’m changing into leathers, going for a ride.’ That was the only warning he was giving before he stripped.

  ‘The bike?’ Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head, decisive. ‘No. Bikes give you no margin of error and I bet you have a monster. Take the Chevy.’

  The doorbell rang.
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  Theo stripped.

  Cassie stood her ground.

  Theo grabbed jeans instead of leathers, silently conceding her reasoning. He pulled on a T-shirt and casual, comfortable old shoes.

  ‘You should talk to your mum.’

  ‘Not in this mood.’

  Cassie sucked in a loud breath. It was her turn to concede the point. His mood was too raw.

  The doorbell went again. ‘Theo, please.’

  He closed his eyes a moment at the sound of his mum’s voice. ‘Tell her “later”.’ The garage exited to a rear laneway. He went out through the courtyard and didn’t look back.

  ***

  Cassie listened to the rumble of the Chevy. She opened the front door.

  Louise Morrigan stared past her, listening to the engine. Evidently she recognised it. ‘He’s gone.’

  Yes. ‘Come in.’

  ‘I should talk to Gordon. I never thought he’d do this. No matter how much he wanted to be back at Brigid Care, I never thought he’d do this. He loves Theo.’

  Cassie gripped her arm, gently pulling her in off the doorstep. ‘Take a minute for yourself, first.’

  The woman looked terrible, pale with shock so that her subtle cosmetics stood out cruelly. Cassie sat her down in the kitchen. ‘Where does Theo keep the hard stuff?’

  ‘Cupboard in the lounge room.’

  ‘Brandy? Whiskey?’ Cassie called back.

  ‘Vodka.’

  Cassie scooped up the bottle and returned to the kitchen. She poured shots into two tumblers, not bothering with anything fancy.

  Louise knocked hers back, treating it as the medicine it was. ‘He’ll hate me.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘He will. Gordon promised me that Theo would be his. I thought it would cause heartbreak for no reason to tell the truth. What is biology? Gordon was there for Theo’s birth, through every stage of his life. They were close. That’s why Theo was treading so carefully, trying not to hurt Gordon although everyone could see Theo was the better manager.’

  Younger, stronger, more attractive and taking the business role that had defined Gordon, but none of that justified this personal, devastating betrayal.

  ‘One mistake over thirty years ago.’ Louise picked up the bottle and poured more vodka.

  Cassie held onto the glass she pretended to sip from. She hated vodka and she wanted a clear head.

  ‘How do I explain it to Theo?’ Louise swallowed half the vodka and looked at Cassie. ‘I argued with Gordon. We were always fighting back then. Both of us young and stubborn.’

  ‘Louise.’ Cassie tried to head her off. The confidences she was preparing to share were for family, not for a pretend girlfriend. ‘Theo and I aren’t really involved. We’re pretending we are to counter my cousin Leighton’s lies in the media.’

  ‘He trusts you. He brought you into the f-family.’ Her voice broke on the word.

  Cassie rushed around the table and hugged Louise. ‘He helped me, so I offered to help him. That’s all. You have a good son. He cares about people. This has been a shock, but give him a chance. He’ll listen to you.’ She waited till Louise’s breathing steadied and her spine straightened. ‘Okay?’

  ‘I’m going to tell you.’

  She hadn’t listened to a word Cassie had said, but Cassie could hardly start a new drama now, insisting that she and Theo weren’t a couple. She would have to find a way to tell Theo whatever Louise shared, and then get the hell out. She’d only be a reminder of the worst moment of his life.

  There had been a raw desperation in Theo to get away. Maybe if family hadn’t been so important to him he’d have been less affected. Maybe. But he was a family man, defined by his relationships and responsibilities.

  ‘Gordon and I were young.’

  Cassie resumed her seat, prepared to listen.

  ‘We fought. Over ridiculous things. I’m Greek, and my dad and brothers were protective, but they’d have smothered me if I didn’t rebel a bit. When Gordon tried to get me to do what he thought was best, I’d react badly. We could argue over what colour to paint my fingernails. I can’t even remember what the last argument was about, just that it got bigger and harsher and Gordon stormed off. We weren’t engaged or married, but my brothers wanted to go around and punch him anyway. I stopped them from that. Instead I got my revenge a different way.’

  Louise swirled the vodka left in her glass. ‘I hooked up with a good-looking guy who was passing through Melbourne. Dave Mawson, a country and western singer. He had a guitar, a beautiful drawly voice and sadness in the back of his eyes. I was angry and hurting and stupid. We clicked. I slept with him. Regretted it. Do you know what he said when I ended it?’

  Cassie shook her head.

  ‘That he knew I wasn’t for him.’ Louise dragged in a long, shuddering breath. ‘But a guy could dream.’

  She drank the rest of the vodka. ‘I heard he died in a car crash on the back country roads a couple of years later.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘By then, I was married to Gordon. Theo was a toddler. Gordon was so good. About a month after I ended things with Dave, Gordon came and saw me. We talked. We’d both missed each other, knew we were the love of each other’s lives. When I found out I was pregnant…it could have been Gordon’s kid, but the chances were really, really slim. I thought I’d lose everything — Gordon, my parents’ respect — that I’d be struggling alone as a single mum.’

  ‘But Gordon stepped up?’ Cassie thought better of him.

  ‘He said to marry him right away, that we belonged together, and that the kid would have been his if he hadn’t been an idiot. He never made an issue of it, even when it was obvious Theo took after his long-gone dad. He promised Theo would be his kid, and he kept that promise until the board meeting. I love Gordon.’

  ‘So does Theo.’ Cassie had meant it to be reassuring.

  Louise shuddered. ‘Bernice — Theo’s aunt, Gordon’s sister — she was at the board meeting. She said Theo looked devastated. Like Gordon had stabbed him. To tell Theo was unnecessary and cruel, but to tell him in that way, as a weapon…I have to go.’

  ‘O-kay.’ Her sudden determination took Cassie by surprise.

  ‘I can’t help Theo, not till he’s home. But Gordon will be regretting what he’s done. Everyone will be telling him off.’

  He deserved it, in Cassie’s opinion.

  ‘And his heart can’t stand the stress. He’ll get madder and madder, furious with himself and everyone. I have to calm him down.’

  The risk of a heart attack was real.

  Cassie stood. ‘I’ll go with you.’ She didn’t want to intrude, but she hadn’t drunk the vodka for a reason. ‘You’ve had a shock and two vodkas. You can’t drive. Gordon mightn’t be fit either. Can you get home? Do you have someone in the family who’ll drive you without stirring things up?’

  ‘We’ll catch a taxi. You stay here and wait for Theo.’

  Given his mood, it would be a long wait. Still, Ayesha, Theo’s secretary, would organise a taxi for the older Morrigans.

  They hugged, then Cassie watched Louise walk down the street. She walked steadily and fast, her worry setting the pace. Cassie closed the door and rested her forehead a moment against it.

  A hell of a day.

  The bright candy-striped dress felt wrong, ridiculous. She dressed in her jeans and a T-shirt and packed her bag. Once she’d spoken with Theo, she’d leave. Worrying about Leighton’s lies seemed trivial in the face of real heartbreak. She wouldn’t even bother about checking into a hotel for the night. She could sleep on the plane and tomorrow she’d be back in Jardin Bay. Home.

  Buying clothes wasn’t a reason to stay in Melbourne or even stopover in Perth. She could buy clothes online. What she wanted was the emotional calm of the bay. The noise of the city that had energised her yesterday now rang hollow and lonely, uncaring.

  Bag packed, she put away the vodka bottle and washed the glasses, removing the evidence of his mum’s p
resence and distress. She made a cup of tea, found a box of chocolates in the fridge unopened, shrugged and took it with her out to the courtyard.

  Two lemon trees stood in half-barrels, catching the late afternoon sun. Cassie sat on a bench built against a sun-warmed brick wall.

  She couldn’t imagine discovering that her dad wasn’t her dad. Worse, having him hurl the knowledge at her, wielded like the weapon Louise had called it. Theo was one of the sanest people she knew, but he’d had his identity ripped from him. He couldn’t take much more.

  Half his identity was gone. Louise’s family were still blood relatives and evidently loved him — witness the Chevy he was driving. Did they know he wasn’t Gordon’s son? How would they react if it were news to them?

  Lies, no matter how well meant in the beginning, always had a sting in the tail.

  Her phone rang and she snatched it up, grateful for the distraction until she heard the voice. Her stomach clenched. ‘Leighton.’

  ‘You better listen to me, cousin.’ He didn’t bother with polite preliminaries.

  She listened, and that little part of her heart that had still hoped and believed in her cousin despite everything withered and died. She closed the phone, drew her feet up on the bench and rested her head on her knees. So much had happened since she met Theo. So much had changed. From a burnt-out wreck of herself she had healed and become whole. Now it was up to her to protect those she cared about.

  When Melbourne’s fickle weather sent clouds across the sun, the courtyard cooled fast. Cassie hardly noticed for worrying about Theo, but as the day darkened to evening she realised her toes were ice blocks and her muscles cramped with tension and cold.

  If he stayed out late she ought to think about dinner, but she didn’t want to be in the middle of cooking when he came home. She would talk to him as she’d promised Louise, then leave. The man needed privacy.

  The rumble of the Chevy pulling into the garage came clearly through the open courtyard door.

  Suddenly Cassie didn’t know what to do with herself. Should she be lurking in the kitchen? Hiding in her room? Watching TV in the lounge room?

  Theo walked into the kitchen.