Pearl's Will

by Sophie Dawson

  Now, as Pearl lay in the dark, she had to admit, she was attracted to Will. They fought with her feelings for Patrick. But he was gone, forever. Still, he’d only been gone a few months. If she wasn’t expecting Patrick’s child, Pearl wouldn’t have to consider marrying a man so soon after her husband’s passing. She also knew Will would never have mentioned his attraction to her until her year of mourning was over.

  Will was a man of character. Not once had he made any move to show his desire for her, to compromise, or encroach on her person. Okay, he’d taken some liberties on the rides by placing his arm around her, but that had been to safeguard her and to help her feel more secure when she was frightened. Pearl could almost see Lillian’s eyes rolling at that thought. She grinned in the dark.

  Pearl turned on her side. What would Lillian say if she agreed to marry Will? What would his family say? Especially Will’s mother.

  Mrs. Miller had been so very friendly and helpful when they first met. Then her attitude toward her had changed. Had his mother realized Will’s attraction to Pearl and not approved? Pearl’s heart sank. If she didn’t approve of her son’s attraction, then she would object to the marriage.

  Could Pearl stand living so close to a disapproving mother-in-law? Would Mrs. Miller take out her enmity on the baby? How would Will deal with conflict between his wife, child, and his mother? For that matter, how would she herself deal with hostility?

  Pearl didn’t want to come between mother and son. All she wanted was a secure future for her child. Will was offering that. At least as secure a future as anyone might have. Pearl knew security could be taken away in very short order.

  Will had told her to sleep on the decision. Pearl was trying to do that, but the questions kept rolling around in her mind, making her sleep come in fits and starts.

  ~~~~~

  Will rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t slept well and Pearl hadn’t come downstairs yet this morning. Lillian had bounced down the stairs telling him all about her evening out with Vernon. The conversation hadn’t required much input from him, for which Will was grateful.

  Glancing at the clock, Will noticed that it was after ten. Pearl still hadn’t appeared. There hadn’t been footsteps heard overhead either. When Lillian finished with a customer, Will said, “Pearl hasn’t come down. Was she awake when you were up there last?”

  “No, I peeked into her room, and she was still asleep. I think she had a restless night. The bedclothes were very disturbed, pulled out and nearly falling off the bed. Do you want me to go up and check on her?”

  The inquisitive look on his sister’s face made him stop the affirmative answer. Since their discussion when he found out about Pearl’s condition, they hadn’t mentioned anything about it to each other. Will knew Lillian was concerned about Pearl and her future. He didn’t think she had any idea that he intended to ask Pearl to marry him. At this point, he didn’t want her to know. This was between Pearl and him. Will didn’t want Lillian influencing Pearl either way.

  “No, I was just wondering. It’s not like Pearl not to at least come down and say good morning.”

  The shop door opened, admitting another customer which took Lillian’s focus off him. Will went back to working on the watch he was cleaning.

  A few minutes later, he could hear Pearl moving around in the apartment. He hoped she would come down soon. Not that they could have any private discussions with Lillian and customers in the shop. It wasn’t like he and Pearl could go upstairs alone to talk. It would have to wait. He would think of something.

  Pearl came downstairs carrying a tray with coffee and several pieces of coffeecake. “Good morning. I’m sorry I slept so late. How are you both today?” Though she was smiling, it didn’t reach her eyes.

  Will studied her. There were dark smudges under her eyes, evidence that she hadn’t slept better than he had. Her reasons were most likely different from his. Will simply wanted her to decide to marry him. Her decision was made more difficult because of all the factors involved. He’d spent several hours in the night trying to look at it from her point of view so he could counter any arguments she might raise.

  Lillian began her recitation of her evening with Vernon again. That allowed both he and Pearl to simply listen and the atmosphere of tension between them to dissipate.

  The rest of the morning felt like any other Saturday with Pearl crocheting in her sewing chair at the end of the workbench. Will working on repairs and waiting on customers. Lillian helped with sales and straightened displays.

  Near noon, Lillian went up to make lunch. Will looked at Pearl who was concentrating on her stitches. He gave a wry grin. She was avoiding him even as she sat next to him.

  “Pearl?” Will waited until she looked at him. “We need to complete our discussion of last night, but I don’t want to do it where Lillian can overhear.” He kept his voice low so there was no chance of his sister overhearing.

  Pearl gave a slight nod.

  “Would you be willing to go for a walk with me, to ‘stretch our legs’ after we eat? We can go to the park a couple of blocks away. They have benches we can sit on. Lillian can mind the shop.”

  Again, all he got was a nod.

  Will laid a hand on hers. “It’ll all work out. Don’t fret.”

  Pearl looked down and pulled her hands from under his and began her stitching again.

  ~~~~~

  Will and Pearl walked the blocks to the park in silence. Will didn’t think it boded well for their discussion. Pearl had been nearly silent all morning and during lunch. He noticed Lillian eyeing her friend several times. When he’d suggested that he and Pearl take a stroll to get some fresh air, Lillian had eyed him suspiciously.

  They entered the small park and he steered her to a bench under an arbor. When they were seated, Will turned to her. “Pearl, you are so quiet. It’s worrying me. Are you all right?”

  “I’m expecting a child, have no job, no real means of supporting myself. I’m still grieving my husband, and now face the prospect of marrying mainly to give my child security. I don’t want to ruin the life of the dear man who has asked for my hand and is willing to become the father of another man’s child. Other than all that, I’m fine.”

  That she gave him a slight grin brought hope to his heart. “Why do you think our marrying would ruin my life?”

  “You deserve to marry someone who you care for deeply, not out of a sense of obligation to a woman you barely know in order to help her out of a difficult situation.”

  “I helped a woman I didn’t know when she fainted in my shop from hunger. I’ve gotten to know her and for whom I’ve begun to feel deeply.” Will took both her hands in his. “She’s brought much joy to my life as well as the peace I mentioned last night. She’s talented, hardworking, generous, witty, she can tolerate my sister to the point of actually living with her.”

  They both chuckled at his comment.

  “I like your sister. She’s fun.”

  Will squeezed her hands. “Do you like me?”

  “Yes, Will, I do.”

  “Enough to marry me even though it is not because of love?” he asked. He so wanted to tell her he did want to marry her for love but knew she wouldn’t accept it as the truth.

  Pearl seemed to search his face with her eyes looking for something. “You said something last night that has stayed in my thoughts ever since. You said that love is an act of the will. That if we commit to each other that we will love as the Bible instructs, then we can have a grand love, grander than if we fell in love. I’m willing, Will, if you are, to try to make a marriage with a goal of that grand love.”

  Will lifted a hand to her cheek. “It will take both of us working to that goal, but I believe we can accomplish it. I know I will do all in my power to be a good husband and father.”

  “I will do all in my power to be a good wife and mother to any child we might have.”

  A tightness Will hadn’t known was within him released. Pearl was telling him this would not be
a marriage in name only. She would be a wife to him in every sense of the word. He hadn’t even been aware of the fear that he might live with this woman he loved and not be able to love her with his body as he did his heart.

  Will couldn’t stop himself. He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss, tasting her for the first time. Her lips were soft and sweet. “Thank you.”

  ~~~~~

  Pearl’s hand was shaking. She tried to hold it steady but was failing miserably. Behind her, Lillian laughed. Looking up at Will, Pearl saw a smile on his face. Cool metal slid onto her ring finger.

  “With this ring, I thee wed.” Will went on reciting the vows. Pearl was now Mrs. William Miller. It had all happened so quickly.

  After their discussion in the park, they’d gone back to the shop. Lillian was busy with a customer. Will had gone straight to the telephone and rung the pastor of their church, arranging for them to meet with him that evening. They had decided to simply get a marriage license and have the man marry them at the parsonage. There would be no fanfare or reception. Because of her status as a recent widow, that would have been unseemly.

  Once the shop was empty of customers, they had told Lillian. At first she simply stared, her eyes flitting from one to the other as they stood next to each other. Will held Pearl’s hand. It had seemed as if he never let it go unless he needed both hands to do something.

  They’d stood watching Lillian for any sort of reaction. Then, in true Lillian fashion, she erupted with excitement, squealing and hugging each of them over and over. Then she sobered. “Have you told anyone else? Have you called Father and Mother? Are you going to? When is the wedding? Am I invited? Can I be the maid of honor? Have you told Mary and Josey? Oh, they will be so excited. Can I tell them if you haven’t? They always know everything before I do.”

  It had taken several minutes to calm her down and begin to explain their plans. Lillian had been disappointed that there wasn’t going to be a huge church wedding, but understood, considering the circumstances.

  Another customer entered, cutting the discussion short. Several more came keeping all three of them busy. Pearl helped with those wanting lace items. She even took an order for a lace coat.

  When they were alone again, Will outlined what he and Pearl had decided on as they had walked back to the shop from the park. They would tell the siblings and their families after church tomorrow with firm promises that no one contact their parents about the decision or the wedding that would be occurring so quickly.

  The insistence on not informing the elder Millers bothered Pearl. Why weren't they being told before the ceremony? Everyone seemed concerned over their reaction. Every time she tried to speak with Will about it, he wouldn’t meet her eyes and changed the subject. Unsure of herself, Pearl decided not to bring it up until necessary. The couple hadn’t informed any of the family as to when they would be returning to St. Joe.

  “You may kiss your bride.”

  The pastor’s words brought Pearl out of her reverie. She looked at Will who was smiling down at her. Since the kiss in the park, he’d kissed her several times. Each had been sweet in its own way.

  Saturday evening, Will had brought her back to the shop after their meeting with Pastor Phillips. Lillian was upstairs eagerly waiting for Pearl to tell her all the details about their time at the parsonage. Will had kept hold of her hand, not allowing her to leave him.

  “Don’t let my sister keep you up all night talking. You need your sleep.”

  “I won’t. We’ll talk a while. I have to allow her to quiz me some.” Pearl smiled.

  Will smiled back. “I suppose you do. But, remember, you are sleeping for two and those two mean a lot to me. We have plans for next Thursday, not to mention we have to go to the courthouse for the marriage license on Monday.”

  “I know. Tomorrow will be an eventful day too, telling your other sisters and their families. Will they be as excited at Lillian is?”

  Will’s look gave her pause. He was still smiling but there was a shadow in his eyes. “They will be happy for me, for us. They’ll be surprised, maybe even shocked, but we can explain it all to them. I’m sure they will support us. It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s my life, our lives. Yours, mine, and the baby’s. We three are all who truly matter.” He grinned. “Plus we have Lillian on our side. There’s no stopping that freight train.”

  “No, there definitely isn’t,” Pearl giggled.

  “I have something I want to give you. No, that’s not quite right.” He opened a drawer and took out something, hiding it in his hand. He stood close and brought his hand to her bodice and pinned her watch-locket above her left breast.

  “I’ve been wanting to return this to you ever since you sold it to me. I’ve looked at it often and thought of you. Now, I return it to you since there is no need for you to pay back the loan I made to you. I’ll be able to see it often as you will be there for me to look at and think about.”

  Tears came to Pearl’s eyes. “Oh, Will. Thank you.”

  Will pulled her close. “Well, Mrs. Ward. I must leave you at the base of the stairs. Shall I come collect you and Lillian for worship service tomorrow?” He tipped her chin up, looking down into her face.

  Pearl smiled. “I think we can make it there on our own. We have been able to before.”

  “Okay, but this will be the last time you attend church without me escorting you there.”

  “I suppose that’s true.”

  Will lowered his head and captured her lips with his for a long moment. “Until tomorrow.” He stepped away. “I’ll lock the door. Go up and face the interrogation by my sister.”

  ~~~~~

  Will looked down into Pearl’s face. She was smiling, but a shadow marked her eyes. Was she thinking of Patrick? Remembering their wedding? He knew she was still in the early stages of grief. Patrick had only been gone about four months, and here she was getting married. Will knew she would never have considered his suit if she wasn’t expecting Patrick’s child. If she hadn’t been in desperate circumstances. He wouldn’t have pursued her if there hadn’t been a baby involved.

  Pearl would have gone on working at Townsend and Wyatt and living with Lillian. He would have waited at least until the end of her mourning before he asked to court her, but he would have at some point.

  The need to provide for her child was the only reason Pearl would have considered his suit at this time. He hoped there was an underlying attraction to him, at least a little. She seemed to enjoy his company, but that didn’t mean she was drawn to him physically. Well, time would tell. Right now, he had a bride to kiss.

  Will framed her face with his hands and kissed her with as much of his desire as he could, considering his siblings, their spouses, and their children were gathered around the parlor of the parsonage. As he broke the kiss, someone began clapping. He looked and saw smiles on his sisters’ faces. It was gratifying to see Mary’s and Josey’s eyes telling him of their support. It was something he hadn’t been sure of.

  When he had taken Pearl by the hand at the picnic when the entire family was gathered in Mary and Clyde’s yard after worship, there had been questioning glances. The shocked silence that followed his announcement of their plans for marriage and the date of the wedding, had mouths dropping open. Will had glanced at Pearl whose face was growing red with embarrassment.

  “No, well, yes, um. It’s just…” Will stammered.

  “It’s not like that. You know Pearl is a widow. It seems her late husband, Patrick, left her with a growing gift before he died,” Lillian had taken up the explanation gauntlet. Bless her heart. “Pearl was working at Townsend and Wyatt but lost her job due to her condition. Now, she doesn’t have a way to support herself, and Will wants to marry her for the sake of her baby, as well as other reasons. I think it’s a very romantic thing to do. I’m delighted to soon be able to call Pearl my sister.” Her words seemed to break the stunned silence and they were given heartfelt, if reserved, congratulations.

  Mary
had taken Will aside later. “What are you going to do if the baby is a boy? He would stand to inherit the shop. Neither Father or Mother will stand for that, and Mother will be very vocal about it.”

  “We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it. The baby could be a girl and it won’t matter. Pearl will be my wife and I’ll be raising the child, boy or girl, as my own. I’ve told Pearl that.”

  “Does she know about the shop going to the first boy born?” Mary asked. There was suspicion in her tone.

  “No, I didn’t tell her. I didn’t want it influencing her decision. I knew she wouldn’t accept my proposal if she knew. Mary, this is what I want. I tell you this in confidence. Lillian doesn’t even know. I’m in love with Pearl. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a wife. I was planning on waiting until next year. The baby only sped up my plans.” Will stopped talking.

  Mary was smiling at him. She patted his cheek. “I’m glad to hear you saying that, but if you think Lillian doesn’t know then you don’t know her very well. Her little comment, ‘as well as other reasons’ gave it away.”

  Will looked at his siblings and their spouses and children. They’d insisted on attending the ceremony, humble as it was. They would be going to Mary and Clyde’s home for a simple supper and wedding cake. Josey had insisted on cake. She was nearing her confinement and eating everything she could get her hands on.

  ~~~~~

  Will held Pearl’s hand as they walked up the sidewalk to their house. Their house, Will thought, not his. He was looking forward to the night. At least he hoped it would be a wedding night. He and Pearl hadn’t really discussed it. There hadn’t been private time since they’d told Lillian. His sister had taken over the planning, organizing everything.

  Last evening, his brothers-in-law had helped switch Will’s narrow bed at the house for Pearl’s double bed in the apartment. Will was glad Lillian had thought of it since it hadn’t crossed his mind, which surprised him. The bed was comfortable though it gave Will pause to think Pearl’s baby had been conceived in that bed with another man. The next children would be conceived in the same place but with him.