Ready to Love

by Franca Storm

  I’m getting the impression that this is some sort of prized possession of his father’s, judging by John’s reaction. I scan the garage. There are two bikes and four cars parked inside it. I have no idea which one this Audi is.

  “Just for today,” Tom says. “And maybe on your way to the airport after your wedding too.”

  John freezes and chokes, “Wedding?”

  “You and Nicki?” Tom responds as though there’s no question about it and John is the strange one for not seeing it.

  John eyes me and I look away quickly, blushing like a damn idiot. God, this is awkward.

  “Dad, don’t.”

  “Honey, don’t be so dismissive,” Karen says. She looks right at me and asks, “Right Nicki?”

  “I…uh…” I stumble.

  “You’re embarrassing her!” John shouts. “That’s it. Kitchen. Now,” he orders his parents.

  He strides towards the door leading into the house and his parents follow him inside. I’m left in the garage, my eyes wide and my mouth agape. Poor John.

  ***

  “Sit!” I snap at my parents as I take my sunglasses off, place them on my head and rub my eyes tiredly.

  They both take a seat at the kitchen table as I pace around them, trying to rein in my agitation.

  “Let’s get one thing straight; this is a date. Our first date. Nothing more.”

  “You two have known one another for four years, John. You’re not starting at the beginning here,” my mom says.

  My dad grips my arm roughly and tells me, “That doesn’t mean you get your dick wet tonight.”

  “Tom! Do you need to be so crass?” my mom shrieks.

  But my dad doesn’t break his intense gaze or his crushing grip. Still staring at me, he tells my mom, “Karen. I need to discuss a few things with John. Give me a moment.”

  Mom gets up from the table. “Sure. I’ll go talk to Nicki for a bit.”

  Oh fucking great. Dammit!

  Dad releases me and I shake out my arm in frustration. “Sit down,” he commands.

  I sigh and do as he asks. There’s no choice once he starts barking orders. God, I feel like I’m one of the victims at one of his infamous depositions or something. This is not gonna be pretty.

  “I know you’re used to playing the field. You’re like your old man in that respect. If you only knew how many women I’ve—”

  “Dad! Please, for the love of God, spare me.”

  “Fine. Nicki is not one of your easy women…your…groupies.”

  I nod. “I know.”

  “Do you?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I mean; with her history you need to be extra careful with her.”

  “Dad, I know. I know that better than anyone! I was there, remember? Fuck! What do you think of me?”

  “Tone down your language!” he barks right back at me.

  But I’m done now. I shoot to my feet and slam my fist down on the kitchen table. “You wanna know why I had to get physical with that frat asshole? She was a game to him. A game. Last night, I stopped him from fucking her while she was drunk off her ass, crying and terrified. And, yeah, I used my fists. Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t have done the same if you’d walked in on that…if it had been Mom lying there like that? Fuck, he’s lucky I only did the minimum. And that’s why he keyed my truck.”

  My dad is too stunned to say anything.

  “Nicki is my fucking angel and I’ll treat her that way. The fact that you’re questioning that tells me how little you really think of me. I mean; I always knew I was a disappointment. I just didn’t think that it extended to this—to you questioning my integrity like this.” I rub my face roughly with both my hands. “Fuck this,” I mutter as I storm out of the kitchen.

  “I’m sorry!” he calls out.

  I stop short. Sorry? He’s apologizing to me? Well, this is a first. History has just been made.

  I turn back around and raise an eyebrow in surprise. He stands up and approaches me, muttering, “God, you really do have your mother’s temper.” He seizes my shoulders and lowers his voice as he tells me, “This will sound a little odd, given the circumstances, but Nicki is like a daughter to me.”

  “I know, Dad.”

  “I don’t want to see her get hurt. When it comes to other men, you can protect her. But now it’s you, John. You can’t protect her from yourself, hence my little lecture here. But after what you’ve just told me, I see that I don’t need to worry about protecting her from you. There is nothing to protect her from.”

  “I want her,” I admit.

  I can tell by the look on his face that he understands my meaning. “That’s natural. But there’s a difference between wanting and taking what is not ready to be given to you.” We lock eyes and he says. “You understand?”

  “Yes.”

  He smiles and then something odd happens. He hugs me. I tense at the unexpected and unfamiliar contact. “I’m proud of you.”

  What? “You know I’m just scraping by at college, right?”

  He doesn’t let go of me. Instead, his hold tightens. “You’re the man that I’d always hoped you’d become.”

  “It’s her,” I find myself admitting. Shit, where did that come from? I haven’t even admitted that to myself yet. But it’s the truth. Nicki has that effect on me. She makes me better.

  My dad laughs and pulls back. “It usually is. Your mother had the same effect on me.”

  “Really? I thought you were always a straight-shooter, Dad. Perfect and all that bullshit.”

  He grins. “I think it’s best if you keep on believing that.”

  This time I’m the one laughing. I clear my throat and say, “Okay, I should get going. You’re sure about me driving the Audi?”

  “You’ve always been a good driver. Go ahead.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You should probably wipe those tears out of your eyes before you head back to her.”

  Shit, all his talk about him being proud of me has made me fucking emotional. I’ve never heard those words from him. “Dust,” I lie, as I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands.

  He chuckles as I walk away.

  Chapter 23

  ~John~

  As I belt out the lyrics to one of mine and Nicki’s favorite songs—Bruce Springsteen’s Land of Hope and Dreams—I watch Nicki strumming on her acoustic, opposite me. She closes her eyes, getting lost in the music. I knew this was a good idea. She’s always at her most relaxed when we play.

  And we both love this place. The ravine. We used to come here so many times during our last couple of years of high school to write away from the rest of the world with nothing around us but nature for miles.

  We’re sitting on the grass embankment just like we used to, a few feet from the waterfall.

  After leaving my parents’ house, Nicki had talked non-stop; a nervous reaction of hers. I knew what it was; the expectations of this ‘date’. The sexual expectations. It’s not like we’re starting at the beginning; we’ve known each other for years.

  The strangest thing is; I’m nervous too. I’ve never had to control myself before. I’ve always just taken what I’ve wanted, when I’ve wanted it. But Nicki isn’t like the women I’m used to screwing around with. I don’t wanna mess this up and scare her. And it’s hard. I’m hard.

  At least I know I’m capable of holding back and thinking with my head instead of my dick. That night I had my tongue between her legs had been proof enough. Being able to shut it down after taking things that far had been a true act of strength. The way she’d looked up at me afterward, the trust there in her eyes—that’s what’d stopped me.

  We’re halfway through the third verse when I hear her mess up, missing the chord change. Her eyes snap open. Her hands still and she smiles sheepishly. “Oops.”

  “What was that?” I ask, amused as hell. Nicki never fucks up like that.

  She lowers her gaze, trying to hide that guilty look in he
r eyes. My God, what’s she thinking about? She can barely look at me. Is she thinking something dirty?

  “Nicki?”

  She places her guitar back into its case on the grass beside her. She takes her time closing it before finally turning back to me and responding innocently, “Yeah?”

  “What was that?” I repeat, not taking my eyes off her as I put my own guitar back in its case as well.

  “I…uh…nothing.”

  She’s lying. But I know I can get it out of her.

  She knows it too and she stands up quickly.

  She takes off her sun hat and places it carefully on her case. And then something shocking happens. She kicks off her sandals and, before I know it, she’s stripping off her dress as well. She giggles at herself for a second, unable to look anywhere near me as she stands there in nothing but her bikini. Damn, she’s so fucking hot.

  She takes off towards the lake. She jumps in and screams as she hits the cold water.

  I’m on my feet in a split second, pulling off my shirt and shoes.

  “John!” she shrieks as I plunge into the lake, drenching her. Shit, it is cold. I’m greeted by a face full of water as she splashes me.

  “That’s really asking for it,” I threaten, wading towards her.

  She tries to get away, but she ends up backing herself into the bank instead. Nowhere to run now, baby.

  Her eyes widen as she realizes she’s trapped. Laughing, she holds up her hands in surrender. “Sorry. Truce?” she asks, hopefully.

  “Uh uh. We have to be even first, before you can call a truce.”

  “Wait!” she begs. “I’ll tell you what I was thinking about; why I had that look on my face.”

  I’ve gotta hear this. I step back and fold my arms across my chest. “Shoot.”

  “I…uh…I was thinking about our date and you sitting there singing and how I couldn’t believe where we are now…you know…together, because when I first met you I…uh…I had a bit of a crush on you.”

  I smirk at her. I had no idea. She’s good at playing things close to her chest. “Really?”

  “Get that cocky grin off your face,” she scolds me. “It was your voice…not your personality.”

  “My voice, huh?” I press, wanting to hear more; much more.

  “Yeah, I’d seen you play before I even walked into that audition the day we met. Your voice…that sexy rasp…the power…the emotion…it…well, it got under my skin.”

  “You mean it turned you on.”

  She blushes like crazy. But then she manages to get it together and she tells me, “Keep your ego in check. As soon as I got to know you, any little thing I had for you went away.”

  I slap my hand over my heart. “Ouch! Why?”

  She shrugs. “I figured out you were a womanizing asshole.”

  “Is that right?” I say, moving closer to her. “How about now, baby?”

  Her eyes flicker over me shyly. “You’re different with me.”

  “Damn right I am. You wanna know why?” I say, leaning into her and whispering in her ear.

  “I…why?” she struggles to utter, flustered by my closeness.

  “Because, baby….” I whisper slowly, “…you are mine.”

  I pull away and watch her try to catch her breath.

  “Okay, so now I’ve told you, we’re good? Truce?”

  I shake my head. “No way.”

  Without giving her a warning, I lunge at her. She shrieks in surprise and tries to make a break for it, trying to pull herself onto the bank. I catch her and grab her around the waist. She screams as I pull her back into the lake. And then I dunk her under the water quickly, before pulling her back to me. Laughing, I tell her, “Now, we’re even.”

  She pushes her soaking wet hair out of her face and stares at me with disbelief. “I can’t believe you dunked me!”

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “Asswipe!” she yells.

  “Asswipe?”

  “Yeah, asswipe,” she says, all cute and defiant.

  “Hey, you started it. I just finished it, baby.”

  I see a devilish glint in her eyes. Uh oh. I know that look. “Finished it, huh?” she says.

  And before I know what’s hit me, she pushes me back, breaking my hold around her waist. She launches herself at me, trying to push me down into the water. I manage to resist and stay on my feet. I wrap my arms around her, trapping her in my hold.

  “What you gonna do now?”

  She squirms in my arms, but I hold firm. She growls with frustration before stilling altogether. I don’t loosen my hold. I know better than that. She’s a tough little thing.

  Something distracts her from her mission; she realizes the position we’re in. Her eyes roam over me; over the two of us pressed together wet and hardly dressed. Something flickers in her eyes. She leans into me and I know exactly what she wants. But I don’t give it to her.

  “John?”

  “Yes, baby?”

  She seems confused by my lack of reaction—or my lack of action. She doesn’t know what to do. Since we started this thing between us, I’ve always made the first move. I finally loosen my hold on her and she frees her arms, but doesn’t move away.

  I’m surprised as hell when she presses her hands to my chest. It fires me up instantly, despite the cold water surrounding us. I force myself not to move. She needs to take the lead.

  Her lips crash against mine. She’s so aggressive about it that I have to respond. I deepen the kiss. And then she shocks me by pretty much thrusting her tongue down my damn throat. She doesn’t want slow and sweet this time. No, this time it’s different. It’s ferocious and primal. Her hands fist in my hair, tugging and trying to pull me closer. She’s wild. She’s challenging me.

  I can’t think straight with her suddenly all over me and before I can stop myself, my hands are slipping under her bikini top and playing with her tits. She gasps, but doesn’t stop kissing me for a second.

  And then I feel it; she trembles against me.

  A warning sparks in my brain.

  That’s when I get it. I get what this is about and I don’t like it. I don’t want it this way.

  I pull back.

  “Stop,” I choke out, pushing her back gently.

  “John, what—”

  “You don’t need to prove anything to me.”

  She wraps her arms around herself, now embarrassed. She won’t look at me. “I’m not—”

  “Yes you are, baby.”

  I reach for her, but she floats backwards.

  “Nicki, it’s okay.”

  “Stop it,” she snaps.

  I’m not sure what she means, but one thing I’m sure about is she’s pissed. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “You didn’t,” she mutters, looking anywhere but at me.

  “Look, I just…I don’t want it like this. I don’t want you forcing yourself to do things just to prove something to yourself.” As I say the words, it pisses me off. “Am I just an experiment to you, Nicki? A trial run?”

  She flinches. And then her eyes narrow. “Fuck you, John,” she says before turning her back on me and wading angrily through the water towards the embankment.

  I rush after her, hauling myself onto the grass just as she stomps towards where we’d been sitting. She grabs her dress off the ground, shivering as she stands there soaking wet and freezing in the cool Fall air.

  I pull a towel from my backpack and walk over to her. I snatch her dress out of her grip and hand her the towel. “Here. Dry first or you’ll get sick.”

  She mutters something and starts to pat herself dry. You’re welcome, woman. I grab myself a towel and pat myself down before slipping my shirt back on.

  “Asshole,” she mutters as she pushes past me to get to her dress. That’s it!

  I spin around and grab her arms, holding her steady and forcing her to look at me.

  “Asshole?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Let me tell you
something about men, Nicki. We’re ruled by our dicks. I don’t care how good a guy acts. At the end of the day, we’re all the same. Some of us have better self-control than others, but we’ve still got that primal instinct. And when a guy wants someone as badly as I want you, it’s even harder. That first night when I ate you out, you have no idea what it took for me to hold back; not to take it further. And it freaked me out. But since then, I know where the line is for me. So, when I tell you we need to stop, fucking respect that. I’m trying my damnedest to protect you. So, if that makes me an asshole, so be it.”

  “Stop it, John!” she cries, struggling to break away.

  “Stop what?” I ask, tightening my hold on her. No way is she getting out of this one. I wanna know exactly what the hell is going on with her. “You keep saying that. Stop what?”

  “Treating me like I’m damaged!” she thunders. “Like I’m a fragile, broken little girl because of…because of what happened in the past.”

  “That’s what you think this is about?”

  “I know it is.”

  “You’re wrong. This is about you not being ready.”

  “I am ready.”

  “You say that, but I don’t feel it from you.”

  “Just fuck me!”

  The rage in her voice and the fiery look in her eyes catches me off guard. It hits me then and I let go of her. “Tell me something, Nicki; does it matter who it is?”

  “What?”

  “Do you care who pops your fucking cherry? Do you care that it’s me standing here?”

  She looks away. “Yes.”

  “Very fucking convincing,” I growl. “You already let that piece of shit, Axel, finger fuck you.”

  “What? How do you know about that?”

  Getting in her face, I glare down at her. “That’s how desperate you were to get your first time over with. Well, let’s get one thing straight here. I’m not gonna be another Axel. If that’s what I wanted, I would’ve fucked you that first night. I don’t date and yet here we are. I’m making an effort here, because I wanna be with you!”

  “Are you waiting for your medal?”

  Wow. Ice. “You just want my cock? Huh? Tell me!”

  She gives me a dirty look and turns away.