Before It's Love

by Michelle Pennington

  Head’s up. I’m coming over.

  Jerking straight up in bed, I yelped in panic. What was he thinking?

  But it didn’t matter. I ran for the shower, only to find the door locked. I hammered on it, not in any mood to put up with Renee hogging the bathroom all morning.

  “Chill!” she yelled from the other side.

  A few seconds later, it opened and she glared at me. Her hair was wrapped in a towel and her acne glowed red against her clean, pale skin. But her scowl was the scariest part. “Move it,” she said, shouldering past me.

  “I knew it. I knew this day was going to be freaking awful,” I raged as I got into a lukewarm shower because Renee had used all the hot water.

  In my rush, I hadn’t remembered to bring clothes with me. So, after I’d showered, dried off, and zealously brushed my teeth, I wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door a crack. Sure enough, I could hear Jake’s voice in the kitchen. The chances of him seeing me all the way down the hall were practically nonexistent, but I hunched over and sprinted to my bedroom like a terrible secret agent.

  Five minutes later, I was dressed in jeans, a black t-shirt, and a flannel lined plaid shirt because it was cold. I threw on my boots and wrapped my wet hair into a messy bun on top of my head, wishing I had time to dry it. There was no time to do anything about the dark circles under my eyes. Now, only the hard part was left—pretending there was nothing going on between Jake and me.

  The walk down the hallway was too short for me to plan what to say or how to act, but it didn’t matter. Nothing could have prepared me for the devastating look in Jake’s eyes when he saw me. I stopped still, stunned, as he claimed me with an intimate, meaningful look. Somehow though, when he spoke, he sounded perfectly relaxed—casual even.

  “Hey, Lauren.”

  “Hey.” I said, trying to match his calm tone.

  Jake leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest while Natalie mixed a protein shake, her usual power breakfast. I glanced between them, noting the stiff set to Natalie’s shoulders. What reason had he given her for coming over? For that matter, why was he here? We both had to be on campus in less than an hour.

  “You look tired,” Jake said as I got orange juice out of the fridge.

  I flashed an annoyed glance at him as I got a glass out of the cabinet. “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep last night.”

  “That’s weird. I couldn’t either.”

  Was he determined to make this as awkward as possible? “And yet, you’re up early. What are you doing here anyway?” There, let him squirm.

  He glanced down and said, “You left your backpack at Grams’ house. I thought you might need it for class.”

  My face flooded with heat. Really, it wasn’t surprising I’d gone off and left it after what happened, but it had to look stupid to Natalie. She was, of course, watching us like a hawk. I shrugged and said, “Thanks,” then turned my back to him. I pulled a bagel out of the pantry and popped it in the toaster.

  “How’s your grandma doing?” Natalie asked, her voice sweet as honey.

  “She’s fine, though she hated the storm last night.”

  “Me too. I’d be happy to go sit with her if you ever need me to.”

  I rolled my eyes as I waited for my bagel to finish toasting. Irma would hate feeling like someone was babysitting her, and it wasn’t like Natalie had ever made an effort to go visit her before.

  “Thanks, but she doesn’t care for visitors. It interrupts her work.”

  “Really?” Natalie asked. Her voice pitched higher than usual. “Doesn’t Lauren go over there all the time?”

  Jake chuckled. “Yeah, but only because she’s an artist too. Grams cracks the whip on her, believe me.”

  “That’s great,” Natalie said, her voice tight.

  She would have known that a long time ago if she ever talked to me. Wait, where had that irritation come from?

  My bagel popped up and I started smearing it with brown sugar and cinnamon cream cheese. Having a paycheck was a wonderful thing.

  “We barely even talk,” I said, hoping to make her feel better.

  “Sounds fun,” Natalie said. “Well, I’d better go get ready for work.”

  I turned and set my plate and orange juice on the counter. Jake and I both watched as Natalie went upstairs. When her bedroom door closed, I picked up my bagel, but dropped it as Jake stood and moved purposefully around the counter.

  “Finally,” Jake said. “I thought she was never going to leave.”

  “No way.” I stepped backwards, retreating from him until my back was against the fridge. “Not here, Jake.”

  “You said we could when we’re alone.”

  “I said sometimes.”

  “Well, I think this is a great time. With the way I’m feeling this morning, you’re lucky I didn’t lay one on you in front of Natalie.”

  “But she could walk in any second.”

  He stepped back, looking disappointed. Sighing, he said, “Okay, if you say so.”

  But my eyes focused on his lips, and I remembered the kisses we’d shared last night. “Well, maybe just one. If you make it quick and...”

  His mouth covered mine before I could finish. His lips touched mine, teasing me by never staying in one spot long enough for me to settle into the kiss. I threaded my fingers through his hair, the short strands curling like silk around my fingers. Then Jake deepened the kiss, and there was no more room for thought, or breathing, or anything but him.

  There was a squeal behind us and a high-pitched voice shrieked. “Holy freaking crapola!”

  I nearly died with panic when I realized someone had walked in on us, but Jake just chuckled and slowly released me before turning around.

  “What’s the matter, Beth?” he asked, his voice cheerful and teasing.

  “Oh, my gosh! You two are kissing!”

  “Thanks for pointing that out,” Jake said. “We hadn’t noticed.”

  Beth ignored him. “So, are you official now?”

  I tried to shush her and said, “No,” just as Jake said, “Yes.”

  Beth raised an eyebrow. “So, you’re still figuring things out.”

  “Exactly,” I said.

  Jake rolled his eyes. “She’s playing hard to get,” he told Beth.

  “That’s not what it looked like to me,” she said, grinning.

  “Oh yeah? Watch this.”

  In an effort to calm down, I’d walked several steps closer to Beth, away from Jake, but as he said this, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He curved his body around mine, and nuzzled my neck. With an anxious eye on the stairs, I ignored the melting, sinuous reaction of my body and pushed away from him again.

  “You see,” he said, as if he’d just done a clinical demonstration for Beth.

  “Would you cut it out?” I glared at him. “If you haven’t noticed, we are no longer alone.”

  “Beth doesn’t count,” he argued.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m on your side,” Beth said. “But I hate to break it to you—if you are trying to keep it a secret, you’re failing miserably. It’s so obvious.”

  I pressed my palms to my cheeks, feeling how warm they were, and sighed. “This is not going well.”

  Jake’s smile glinted. “I disagree.”

  “You can’t just show up over here,” I told him. “We see each other all the time at the school.”

  Jake moved over to a stool and sat down. “Yeah, well, we have to play it cool there too. For now. There’s a policy about teachers dating students.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I mean, I think we’re okay because you aren’t in any of my classes, but they’re apparently really sensitive about it because the guy I replaced got in trouble with a student.”

  My brain felt scrambled. No wonder Rossi had been so angry that one day he’d come in when we were holding hands. But there was one point I was clear on. “We aren’t dating.
”

  He raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t argue the point. “Doesn’t matter. Rossi’s watching us.”

  Beth giggled as she poured a bowl of cereal. “What have you two been up to at the school?”

  “Nothing,” I said. But I couldn’t meet her eyes.

  She waved her spoon at me. “Oh come on. You’re going to give me the full scoop later anyway, so what’s the difference?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Oh, yes you are, girl.”

  Jake chuckled and I glared at him.

  “Regardless,” he said, “I have to keep my hands off you all day, so cut me some slack.”

  Just then, Natalie came down stairs, thankfully making enough noise that we all stopped talking. She glanced at us, an odd expression on her face. “See you guys later.”

  She opened the door just as the doorbell rang. She stepped back, saying “Wow. Hey, who are those for?”

  A man on the porch said, “Delivery for Lauren West.”

  “I’ll take it,” Natalie said, apparently having no qualms about accepting my delivery. She turned and came back in, her arms full of roses wrapped in cellophane.

  I turned my head and directed a suspicious glare at Jake, even though my heart beat with excitement that he’d gotten me flowers. Except Jake looked seriously irritated.

  “Those are beautiful, girl!” Natalie said. “And they came so early it must have cost extra. Hurry up and read the card before I go.”

  With dragging steps, I went and dug through the roses till I found a little white envelope. Without thinking, I read aloud. “Sorry I wasn’t the boyfriend I should have been. Will you give me another chance? I promise it will be different. I miss you, Nick.”

  Stunned, I looked at Jake and found his jaw clamped tight and his eyes slightly narrowed.

  “Well, here. Take them, silly.” Natalie thrust the bouquet at me. “You have to hand it to Nick. This is super sweet. We’ll talk later. Bye.”

  When she was gone, I dropped the flowers on the counter. We all stared at them like they were poisonous weeds. Jake was the first to speak, his voice flat. “Well this puts a new spin on things.”

  “Why?” I asked, as my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “It’s annoying, but surely you don’t think I care what Nick wants.”

  Standing up slowly, Jake came over to me and took my hand. He kissed me gently on the forehead and said, “No, that’s not what I mean. I’d better get out of here before I put those flowers down the garbage disposal.”

  “I wouldn’t care if you did,” I said. Then to prove my point, I took the roses and dropped them in the trash while Beth squealed in protest.

  “I appreciate the gesture,” Jake said, “But it doesn’t solve anything. I’ll see you later, okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said, feeling helpless. He felt so distant, even though my hand was still warm from being held in his.

  The front door shut behind him, and I spun to look at Beth, who had pulled the roses from the trash and was tending them at the sink. “What was that all about?” I asked.

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Did you expect him to be thrilled that your ex is trying to get you back? And, I might add, while you keep refusing to date him?”

  “But you heard what he said. We can’t date. He could lose his job.”

  She started filling a vase with water. “Doesn’t mean he likes it.”

  I sighed. Only time was going to fix this. Nick would give up and eventually, so would Natalie. But I couldn’t put Jake’s job at risk.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Jake

  Class was nearly over, and though I’d drowned out my thoughts and emotions with the rigors of teaching for most of the hour, I grew anxious as the time came for Lauren to arrive for her drawing class. I cleared my throat, forced myself to not stare at the door, and addressed the class. “As you know, portfolios are due in two weeks. If you aren’t satisfied with your grade on anything you turned in, you can submit a new one for the portfolio. Since it is fifty percent of your grade, I suggest you all take advantage of this. Final grades will be posted three weeks from today.”

  A guy at one of the front tables raised his hand, “Uh, Mr. Cooper?”

  I raised my eyebrows and waited for his question. He just pointed to the door. I looked over and saw Lauren standing there. My eyes swept over her, noting that her hair was now dry and hanging in loose curls around her shoulders. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I can wait.”

  My brain almost exploded, but I somehow kept myself together. I nodded at her and turned back to my class. “Any questions?”

  The girl with blue hair who had flirted with me all semester raised her hand and I nearly groaned.

  “So is that your girlfriend?” she asked. “Cuz I’ve seen her in the drawing studio. Are you dating a student?”

  Movement at the doorway caught my eye and I glanced over to see Lauren leaving. I tried not to glare at the girl. “I meant are there any questions about your portfolio? No? Then, I expect good things.”

  I grabbed my phone and laptop and left, hoping to catch Lauren. She was already in the drawing studio, setting up for class while other students milled around. Rossi wasn’t in there yet, so I walked up to her. “Why did you leave?”

  Her big eyes met mine. “I just wanted to see you in action. I had no idea…Jake, why did she ask that?”

  I squatted down next to her so we were eye-level, resting my laptop on my knees. I lowered my voice so no one would overhear. “Maybe because I check you out every time I see you. I can tell you’re freaking out. Relax, okay. We’ll talk later.”

  “Okay,” she said. But I noticed her hand trembled as she straightened one of the clamps holding her drawing pad.

  I walked back to my office and paced for a while before deciding that I had to get out of the building. I didn’t have another class for an hour, so I walked across campus to the Union to get something to eat. Thirty minutes later, as I walked back, I spotted Nick going into the art building with a giant, pink teddy bear in his arms.

  Anger swept over me. I stopped, breathing heavy, fighting for control. I could not stop him. I couldn’t confront him at all in there. So, I leaned against a light pole and waited.

  Ten minutes later, Nick stormed out with a massive scowl on his face, still holding the teddy bear. Some of the tension inside me loosened as I imagined what Lauren’s reaction must have been like. If he had known her at all, he would have gotten her a new set of oil paints or some watercolors. She would have had a harder time turning those down.

  When Nick was only twenty yards away from me, he stopped and glared at the teddy bear. Growling in anger, he pulled his arm back and launched the teddy bear up in the air. It soared up into a tall maple tree, bouncing from branch to branch as it fell again, finally getting lodged upside down between the fork of a sturdy limb.

  I couldn’t have restrained my laughter if I’d tried. And I didn’t try.

  Nick turned sharply, facing me. With his muscles bunched and his head lowered, he resembled a bull about to charge. Then remembering that Lauren said she knew how to castrate a bull, I laughed even harder. Clearly she did.

  Striding toward me, Nick said, “What are you laughing at, dipstick?”

  “I take it Lauren didn’t like the bear any better than the roses.”

  “How do you know about that?”

  I crossed my arms and leaned back against the light pole again. “I was there.”

  “What were you doing there?”

  “Use your imagination.” I was taunting him, but it relieved all the pent-up pressure inside that screamed at me to deck him and be done with it.

  Nick’s fists curled and his nostrils flared. The last thing I needed was to get in a fight with a student. But somehow, I needed to make things absolutely clear to him, so before he could say anything, I said, “It’s time for you to leave her alone.”

  “This has nothing to do with you. You aren’t even her
boyfriend.”

  “Nope. I’m aiming to be a lot more than that.” On these words, I walked away. I doubted that accomplished much, but at least I got it off my chest. No doubt he thought he could charm his way back into her life. She deserved better, though, and I was going to make sure she got it.

  I opened the door to go inside and found Lauren on the other side reaching for the handle. I stepped back and held it for her. She glanced nervously around.

  “He’s gone,” I assured her.

  “You saw him?”

  “Yeah. We had a little talk.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “How did that go? He was pretty mad.”

  “So was I, but don’t worry. We just talked. I told him to leave you alone.”

  She crossed her arms. “I told him that too. But I don’t think he will.”

  Her eyes swam with tears, and I realized just how shaken she was. “Want to see something?”

  “Uh, sure.”

  I took her hand, threading her fingers between mine, and led her over to stand under the oak tree. “Look up.”

  She tipped up her chin and broke into laughter. “How did it get up there?”

  “Nick.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  Glad to see the change in her mood, I rubbed my thumb over hers. I loved the strength of her hands and the smooth, but slightly calloused feel of her fingers.

  “About earlier,” she said, “I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble. I didn’t mean to.”

  Putting my free hand on her shoulder, I squeezed it and said, “Forget about that girl. She’s been flirting with me all semester. Her jealousy made her more observant than anyone else would be. And we aren’t doing anything wrong.”

  “You’re right. Because we aren’t dating.”

  I walked right into that one. “No. Because we are two adults who don’t have a direct teacher/student relationship.”

  She smiled at me, but it looked too sad to be sincere. “It’s more complicated than that and you know it.”

  I ran my hand down her arm. “Yeah, well, I want it to get a whole lot more complicated. I know you’ve got to get to class. Will I see you later?”

  “Probably not. I’ve gotten all my hours in this week, so I won’t be coming back here. And I have a group project due in my Psych class so we’re meeting in the library later.” My opinion of this must have shown on my face because she laughed and said, “Don’t look at me like that. You know what the end of the semester is like. And I’m behind in every class but one, as usual.”