Awakened Desires

by Rissa Blakeley

  Mitch didn’t have a chance against me. He may have been similar in height, but I was far too fast and far too strong. The sound of fists hitting flesh filled the tiny shack.

  I picked him up, pinning him against the wall, my forearm pressed against his throat. That, combined with his swollen and bloody face, made it hard for him to breathe. I reached into my vest and pulled out my trusty large hunting knife. As I was on the verge of slitting Mitch’s throat, there was a scuffle behind me. Then someone screamed.

  “Gunther! Stop!” Eve implored. My eyes zoned in on the small trickle of blood running down Mitch’s throat and down the blade of the knife. I had to focus or I would have had a taste and exposed myself for what I really was. I was near growling while standing nose-to-nose. Mitch’s eyes were pleading with me. Eve grabbed my arm. “Gunther, please!”

  “Quinn’s hurt!” I turned around and saw Josie cradling her. Levi was leaning over her, examining her. I dropped Mitch and ran over there.

  “Quinn!” I grabbed her. “What happened?”

  “When you pushed her away, she fell and hit her head on the fireplace,” Reid said.

  As I shook with fury, I jumped up and ran back to Mitch. He was still gasping for breath, while Eve was trying to help him up. “I’m not done with you yet! Move, Eve!”

  “Gunther, no. Please.” Eve held her hands up, frantically trying to keep me back. “Whatever he did, I will fix it.”

  “He tried to kill Quinn! You can’t fucking fix that!”

  “What?” Eve spun around and glared at Mitch, who was leaning against the wall behind her, holding his throat and coughing.

  “It’s true,” Reid said. “He tried to talk us into killing Gunther while we were out on the scavenging trip.” The blood drained from Eve’s face. “Obviously, I refused. He wanted us to take his truck. So, after you guys went outside to clean up this morning, Gunther came out of the bedroom and Mitch tried killing him. But he had the brilliant idea of taking Quinn hostage when Gunther wouldn’t play along.”

  “You disgusting son of a bitch!” Eve slapped Mitch across the face. He cried out in pain. “I shouldn’t have stopped him! How dare you! Shooting him once was enough, don’t you think? These are good people!” she yelled, pointing in my direction.

  I stood there, seething. Every fiber of my being wanted to drain Mitch. It was a chore to restrain myself.

  “Gunther…” Quinn’s voice was raspy. I whipped my head around and her eyelids were slits. I rushed to her side, only to have her pass out again.

  “Love… I’m so sorry.” My hand shaking, I grabbed her hand and held it up to my mouth. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Cue my vulnerable side—bad motherfucking timing. Tears trickled down my face. I couldn’t bear that I was the one who hurt her. “I’m so sorry.” When I rested my forehead on her abdomen, she woke up again, reaching up to touch my ear. “I told you I wasn’t good enough for you.”

  Levi interrupted my uncomfortable confession and pity party. “Let’s get her to the bed so I can check her out.”

  Gently, I picked up Quinn and carried her to our bed. As I lay her down, she moaned. Hovering over her and touching her cheek with the back of my trembling hand, I continuously apologized. The tears rolled down my face, dripping onto her. It was certain in my mind that I had hurt her so badly, she was going to die.

  In a soft voice, Levi said, “Let me take a look at her.”

  Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I stood up and allowed Levi to pass by me, then sat at the end of the bed, watching him examine her. “Is she going to be okay? Please tell me yes. I can’t handle you telling me no.”

  “I think so. Her heart rate and blood pressure are good. Her pupils are reactive. She may have a concussion, though. We will have to keep a close eye on her for a few days.” Levi laid a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I don’t think you know your own strength, my friend.”

  “He was going to shoot her. I had to do something.”

  “Mitch tends to think he’s much more important than he really is.”

  I nodded. “Thank you.” I held out my hand to him.

  “You’re welcome. After I take a look at his sorry ass, I will come back and check on her again.” Levi pursed his lips as he headed out the door to go check on Mitch.

  Josie was standing in the doorway. “So is she going to be all right?” I looked up at her with my remorseful eyes, and it was unmistakable to me that Josie was shook up.

  “Levi said she may have a concussion. But he thinks that she will be okay.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I can’t believe I did this to her. I just wanted her out of the way. I was afraid he was…” I stopped unable to say it. I was so afraid I was going to lose her.

  “I’m sure she isn’t upset with you. You did what you had to do. Don’t beat yourself up. It was an accident.”

  “I told her that I wasn’t good for her. Look what I did.”

  “She’s tough and she is going be fine. You will see. I’ll leave you alone with her.” Josie sounded like she was consoling a younger sibling. She rubbed my shoulder a little, just like she had seen Quinn do a few times. It was a little awkward, especially since I was old enough to be her father. That was the moment I realized how truly broken I was.

  Josie headed out of the bedroom. I crawled up on the bed, being careful not to disturb her, and lay down next to Quinn. After a few minutes, I wrapped my arm around her abdomen so I could feel her breathing. It was comforting to me to feel the shallow rise and fall.

  Josie stood in the doorway, watching Gunther whispering things into Quinn’s ear. She couldn’t hear what he was saying, but was such a personal moment, she felt like she was violating their privacy. Josie quietly made her way back out into the common area.

  Levi was standing in front of Mitch, who was sitting in the rickety chair looking exhausted, battered, and embarrassed. Eve was leaning against the sink, her arms folded in disgust.

  “May I just ask you what the fuck you were thinking? Did you not see how he operated when he was training us on those guns? Did you miss that? What part of that did you not understand well enough to realize fucking with him would be a huge mistake? Then you tried holding his woman hostage? You saw how protective he is of those two. You are such a dumb-fuck and, right at this moment, I have no idea why I’m even married to you.” Eve took a breath, but before she started in again, Levi held up his hand to stop her.

  “Do you want me to check you over?” He didn’t want to. If he had enough courage, he would take him outside and leave him for dead.

  “I guess,” he mumbled through his swollen, split lip.

  “You do realize he’s going to tell us to leave, right? Where will we go, Mitch?” Eve threw her arms up in the air. “That was such a great plan, you asshole. You really thought he was just going to hand over the keys to his truck?” She laughed. “I’m so glad he beat the fuck out of you. Maybe you learned your lesson.” She walked away and went to the bedroom door.

  She saw Gunther lying next to Quinn, talking to her while stroking her hair. Her heart was breaking for him. She felt somewhat responsible, thinking she should not have left Mitch alone. He had approached her days ago about stealing the truck and taking off. When she shot him down, she thought it was over.

  Eve knocked on the door, making Gunther look over his shoulder.

  “May I come in?” Unsure, I looked at her, but I nodded anyway. I wouldn’t allow her to have any time alone with Quinn, so I was happy she didn’t bother asking. “Is it okay if I sit here?” She pointed at the end of the bed. With another nod, I sat up.

  “She’s my life. I’d give anything to keep her safe, including my own life. She is the first woman I have let into my heart, and the first woman I ever gave a damn about.” Vulnerability was taking over again, but this was my Quinn we were talking about.

  “I can see how much you care about her. Not too many men would put themselves in the way of a gun to protect their love. I wish I had someone care for m
e as you do her. She’s truly blessed to have a man like you by her side.” Eve paused. “Please allow me to apologize for Mitch’s behavior. He’s an asshole.”

  “I’m not ready to accept an apology at this moment.”

  “I understand, but I just wanted to put it out there. This was all him. I feel terrible about this. She’s such a good, genuine person.”

  “Thank you. She is amazing. I can’t say that enough.”

  “I will leave you alone. If there is anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask. I will be willing to help out with anything your family needs.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  Eve nodded, looking secure knowing that I seemed to understand Mitch was acting alone. She got up and left the room to go back to the common area. I laid back down and cuddled up to Quinn with no plans to leave her side anytime soon. I was in it for the long haul, even if it was weeks. She would have done the same for me. In fact, she already had.

  Chapter 31

  Night had come and Quinn was still sleeping, but I absolutely refused to leave her side. Josie tried to get me to come out and eat, but I didn’t even do that. If I saw Mitch, I would have killed him. Levi checked her out a couple more times as the day progressed, and he said she seemed stable.

  Josie brought in a lit candle and a MRE that Eve gave to her. I declined, but Josie was so persistent that I finally gave in. Once I finished eating, I curled up next to Quinn again. Exhaustion overwhelmed me, causing me to fall into a deep sleep.

  It felt like minutes later when something tickled my lips. I raised my hand to brush whatever it was away and felt a face. I opened my eyes, but the sun pouring through the window blinded me. Once I was able to adjust my eyes to the brightness, I saw Quinn facing me, tracing my lips with her small, thin fingers. It took me a second to realize what was going on.

  “Quinn!” I yelled. Immediately, several sets of feet were racing to the bedroom. “Love, I’m so sorry.”

  “I know. I heard you.” I smiled. “It’s okay.” I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly. “Did you kill the fucker?”

  I pulled away a little. “That’s my girl.” I smiled and kissed her. “I was close to slitting his throat, but Eve stopped me.”

  “What a bitch.” She smiled deviously. “It would have been too messy anyway, and I’m not into scrubbing floors all that much.”

  I laughed. “I love you.”

  “I love you more.”

  “Nope.”

  “Yup.”

  “Oh, would you two shut the hell up. You make me want to barf.” I looked over my shoulder and saw Josie, Levi, and Eve standing in the doorway. Josie stepped in. “Hey, Momma Quinn.” Quinn smiled at her.

  She tried to sit up, but I wouldn’t let her. “Why don’t you stay lying down until Levi checks you over and gives you the okay to get up.” I wasn’t asking her. I was telling her. My stubborn woman had better listen or I might take her over my knee.

  “You are so bossy sometimes.”

  “I know, but you like it that way.” I kissed her on the cheek.

  “Oh, gross!” Josie yelled.

  Levi checked Quinn over and felt she was doing fine. I was so relieved. He advised her against partaking in too much activity. He also told her she needed to rest for a few days. She wasn’t thrilled because it meant no traveling, but she knew it was for the best.

  “All right, everyone. She needs rest, so let’s leave her alone.” Levi was motioning for everyone to leave the room. Of course, I didn’t move. When Levi realized I was still there, he said, “Only a few minutes.”

  “Yes. Thank you.” That was the happiest I had ever been in my life.

  I sat down next to her on the bed again, playing with her hair. “Once you are well enough to travel, we will go. I’m going to go out and speak to the others. Hopefully I can keep myself under control. If he says one word, though, I might snap.”

  “I will come out with you.”

  “Absolutely not. You are staying right here.” Quinn rolled her eyes. “The more you rest, the quicker we can get out of here.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

  I stood at the doorway of the bedroom, watching the scene in front of me. Everyone was either chatting or eating. Mitch was cowering pathetically in the corner by the front window. My lip curled up into a snarl.

  I wanted to kill that fucker. Occasionally, I would take a long, merciless look at him. He would squirm uncomfortably, and that lit the fire in my body. A smirk graced my face.

  Mitch misunderstood my egotistical ways. He figured I was all talk, but he quickly realized that I was pretty much insane. All talk and a lot of show, arseface. He probably never saw anyone so willing to take a bullet for someone before, or I would have bet my left bollock he wouldn’t have done what I did. After I rearranged his face, it seemed as if he decided it would be best to just not even look my way. Good idea, motherfucker. One wrong look and he would be lucky to take another breath.

  When I cleared my throat, Josie immediately took notice and stopped chatting with Janny. “Everyone…listen up,” I snarled as I stepped out from the doorway. “This is how it’s going to work. If anyone takes issue, there’s the fucking door. Until we decide to leave, I will be in charge. You are my army and I am your captain. All weapons, including the weapons you brought with you, are on lockdown unless I issue them to you. That includes knives, as well.”

  The crew all looked at one another. “I will not tolerate another incident like what happened to Quinn. If someone so much as breathes on her or Josie the wrong way, you will be either enjoying the outdoors, or I will get a thrill out of beating the last breath out of you.” I glared right at Mitch. “Place all your weapons on the floor in front of you.” I crossed my arms and waited as patiently as I could.

  “Can we discuss this some?” Eve asked.

  “What is there to discuss?” I asked, bothered by her response.

  “The fact that we won’t have protection when we go outside!” Eve was raging mad.

  “I don’t recall saying you wouldn’t.”

  “This is not right,” she snipped.

  “You know what’s not right?” I was about to snap. “Your cockless husband tried to kill me and Quinn just to get my truck! That’s what’s not fucking right! Try again, Eve!”

  “Do not lump me into his bullshit! I have already spoken to you about that.”

  “If you don’t like the rules I’m setting forth, you are to leave immediately. Frankly, I don’t know if I can trust you. Although, I do greatly appreciate what Levi has done for us.” I reached up and touched my scalp and flexed my calf.

  “Gunther…please. Let us negotiate this,” Eve said with agitation and fear. Good. Like I fucking cared.

  I felt a hand on the small of my back. I turned around and Quinn was standing behind me, leaning against the door frame. “What are you doing? Get back in bed!” I barked at her.

  “I’ll be fine. Just get me the chair.” Josie dragged over the chair that had been by the fireplace.

  “I’d rather you be in bed, love. I don’t want you to overdo it.” I put my hands on her shoulders.

  “Please, I’m fine. I just have a little headache. I’m not a withered flower that will blow to pieces in a gentle breeze.” I was glaring at her. “I promise if I feel worse, I will lay back down.” I thought about it for a moment, then took her arm and balanced her while she sat down. Goddamn feisty woman. I love her so bloody much.

  “Now, can we please negotiate?” Eve asked again.

  Quinn looked up at me. “What do you want?” I growled.

  “Weapons.” I shook my head. “Listen to me fully before you say no.”

  “Go on then,” I said, rolling my eyes. I didn’t want to listen, but I knew if I didn’t give her a fair shot to speak, Quinn would be furious with me. And that was the last thing I wanted.

  “Allow Levi, Janny, Reid, and Shannon to have a gun. Mitch and I will be unarmed. They won’t harm any of you. They
have already proven that. And I don’t want to harm any of you. I am still in shock that he acted the way he did.”

  “I was trying to protect my group,” Mitch mumbled.

  “You shut your fucking mouth, or I will slit your throat!” I shouted. My chest pumped with all the rage flowing through my body. “And I will enjoy watching every last drop pump out! You don’t get an opinion on this matter!”

  Quinn reached up and touched my arm. She didn’t want me to carelessly tumble over the edge. Frankly, at that point, I’d tumble over willingly and take that fuckface with me.

  “You might as well if you are leaving us unarmed,” Mitch snapped. My fist clenched and I took a step. Quinn’s fingernails dug deep into my arm, trying to keep me next to her.

  “Mitch, shut up!” Eve yelled. “Your stupidity is going to get you killed. And I may not try to stop him this time.”

  “Everyone…please,” Quinn said softly. “There is a resolution. We just need to keep our emotions in check. Gunther, I think what Eve proposed would work. The only one who is not trustworthy is Mitch.” She took my hand again. The coolness made her shiver.

  “All right. I will allow that.” She could make me dance a jig in front of an audience and she knew that. Quinn had my number, for sure.

  “Thank you.” Eve nodded at Quinn.

  “I will be leaving to find supplies soon. A couple of you will be going with me.” My eyes ticked around the room, waiting for someone to respond.

  Then Josie replied, “I will.”

  “No, you won’t. We’ve already been through this. I need you to stay and take care of Quinn. I want you by her side every second while I’m gone. Understood?”

  “Yes.” For once, she didn’t argue with me.

  “I will be taking Reid and…Mitch.” Mitch looked up. His eyes were swollen, but I could see the fear in them. It was fucking beautiful.

  “Whoa…wait a second.” Eve held up her hands. “Why do you want him to go with you?”