A Baby for the Firefighter

by Ann-Katrin Byrde

  I looked out the window at the small-town houses passing us by. Oceanport always looked so deceptively peaceful. You wouldn’t think that there’d been a fire here today. You wouldn’t think that it had almost killed someone. Wouldn’t think that it had almost killed my dad before I had a chance to talk to him again after almost ten years of silence.

  I took a deep, shaky breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. How was any of this real?

  I had to stop thinking. At least I had my mom with me now. I wasn’t going to lose her after having another conversation and mending this rift somehow. I didn’t know how yet, but I was going to do it.

  We arrived at my house after another few minutes and got out of the car. I showed my mom in and was extremely grateful that Dean decided to come in with us as well. I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet. In fact, I wasn’t ready for him to leave at all, but could I ask him to stay the night when I had no intention of putting out or was that going to put a strain on our relationship?

  I didn’t know, and I was tired of thinking about it. Fortunately, Dean offered to make some coffee as soon as we stepped into the house as if sensing my exhaustion somehow.

  “Thank you,” I said, giving him a quick kiss. “For everything.”

  “It’s fine. Go show your mother where she’ll be sleeping.”

  “Right.” I rubbed my face and turned to my mom. “Ready for a tour?” I asked, putting on a smile.

  “I would love that.” Her smile looked almost as weak as mine, but it had been a trying day for both of us. She’d almost lost her husband.

  Don’t let your thoughts go there again.

  I started my tour off by showing my mom the kitchen, the living room and the downstairs bathroom.

  “You used to live here with Eli?” she asked.

  “Yes. But he’s moved out now to live with his husband, and they bought this house so I could stay here.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “That’s generous. But then, I guess they can afford it.”

  She wasn’t wrong about that. Matt had a lot of money since he’d recently inherited his family’s fortune. I couldn’t help but wonder though, if our parents would still have kicked Eli out if he’d told them his baby’s father was the richest bachelor in town. Would it have made a difference?

  But I was the only one Eli had told, and I’d kept his secret, so we were never going to find out now.

  “They’re not worrying about money,” I said eventually and led her up the stairs.

  “And how are you doing?” she asked. “Do you have enough money? Do you need help?”

  “I’m fine. People pay a lot more for a good graphic designer than you’d think.” I was pretty decent, and super glad that I didn’t have to ask for help from my parents to pay my bills. It had been difficult for Eli and me in the beginning, but we’d made it work. Just barely, sometimes, but still.

  Once we’d made it up the stairs, I opened the first door to the right. “This is where you’re going to sleep.”

  “Oh.” She looked inside. It was Jake’s old room. I could offer her this or Eli’s old room. Both felt wrong, but I felt that Jake wouldn’t mind as much, and there wasn’t much of his left in here. Only a few drawings still hung on the walls of what was now my guest room. She studied them curiously. “Are these…?”

  “Yeah, this was Jake’s room.” When he’d moved out, I’d asked him why he wasn’t taking his drawings, and he’d said that I should have them, so I’d kept them up.

  “Oh,” my mom said again, and I couldn’t quite tell what she thought of this. “They’re nice drawings. Very bright and colorful.”

  I nodded. “He’s a bright and colorful boy.” And you’d know that if you hadn’t kicked up such a fuss about his existence.

  Yeah, I wasn’t going to forgive her tonight, but at least, I managed not to voice those thoughts. She could probably read them on my face anyway, because she grew very quiet.

  “Let’s head back down,” I said. “Coffee should be ready.” It was all I had to say to her at this point, and I still had to call my brother too.

  I picked up the phone while Dean was chatting with my mother over coffee. I couldn’t tell you how glad I was that he was there and taking her off my back for a few minutes. Going up to my room, I dialed Eli’s number.

  He picked up the phone after only a few rings. “Griff? Are you back home now?”

  “Yeah, we got here a little while ago.”

  “Did you have Dean pick you up? I’m sorry I left so quickly, but… I just couldn’t stay without saying something mean, and I didn’t want to do that, considering the situation.”

  “No, I get it. It’s fine. I called Dean and he came and… uh… Now I kind of have our mother staying with me.”

  “You what?” There was obvious surprise in his voice, but I couldn’t tell whether there was also a hint of anger or not.

  “She doesn’t have anywhere else to stay.”

  “You know hotels and motels are a thing that exist, right?” Now he sounded more exasperated than anything.

  “I know that. But I have all this space that I’m not using, and she’s our mother.”

  “Yeah, but she didn’t seem to care much where I was going to be staying when…” Eli trailed off but I knew what he meant, of course.

  “I get that,” I said softly. “But I’m not like our parents and I can’t be like that.”

  Eli remained silent for a few seconds. “I know,” he said then. “You’re way better than them.”

  “You’re not mad at me?” I asked tentatively.

  “Of course I’m not mad at you.” He said it like I was stupid to be entertaining such thoughts. “But thank you for warning me.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t want you to come over and suddenly run into her.”

  Eli laughed softly. “Yeah, that wouldn’t have been fun. You’re a good person, Griff. Don’t let anyone tell you anything else.”

  “Thank you,” I said, relieved that my brother wasn’t seeing my need to help as some sort of weakness and that he wasn’t going to hold it against me. We’d been through a lot together, and I couldn’t imagine not having him around anymore. I’d probably worried needlessly.

  “Are you okay, though?” Eli asked next. “Not just with what happened but with having her around as well.”

  That was a difficult question. Was I okay? Not really, but I wasn’t so bad off that my brother needed to worry about me. “I’ll be fine,” I said. “I can handle her. It’s not forever.”

  “Can you handle what happened to Dad too? I don’t like the thought of you taking this all on by yourself. At least I have Matt.”

  “I have Dean,” I said before I could stop myself, comparing my boyfriend with my brother’s husband. Not quite the same thing, I knew, but… having him around did help a lot.

  “Yeah?” I could hear the smile in Eli’s voice. “Is he staying with you?”

  “I don’t know. I’d like that, to be honest, but I haven’t asked yet.”

  “You should,” Eli advised me. “I’m sure he won’t mind, not if he cares about you.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “But he’s never stayed the night, and I just feel like… if I ask him then that means… that I should…”

  “Stop,” my brother cut me off. “It’s not about sex, okay? He won’t suddenly think that’s on the table because you need his support after a rough day, and if he does, he’s a scumbag.”

  “I guess. I just still feel bad about this. It’s not like I don’t want to touch him, it’s just…”

  “I know. But don’t feel bad, okay? You’ve talked to him, right? He’ll understand.”

  “Okay. Thank you. I’ll call you again tomorrow.”

  “Take care.”

  “You too.”

  I ended the call and put the phone back in my pocket. Then I returned to the kitchen, where my boyfriend and my mother were still sitting with their coffee mugs, though they were empty now and the conversation had quieted down.
I guess we were all tired.

  “Everything alright with Elias?” my mother asked, looking up when I came in. “That’s who you called, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah.” For a second, I wondered how she knew, but then I remembered mentioning that I would call back at the hospital. “He’s fine. Do you have everything you need for the night? I’ll go put new sheets on the bed. Jake slept in it a little while ago.”

  “Oh, no, that’s fine.” She stood. “Don’t trouble yourself. All that can wait for tomorrow.”

  “If you’re sure.” I really wasn’t going to argue with her at this point.

  “I’m sure. And I think I’ll retire now. Goodnight, Griffin. And you too, Dean. It was lovely seeing you again.”

  “You too, Mrs. Stevens.”

  My mother gave him a smile and went up the stairs. I exhaled, watching her go. That was that part of the evening dealt with.

  “Tired?” Dean asked me.

  “Yeah, kinda,” I admitted. It wasn’t even that late.

  “I can leave,” Dean said, but he looked at me as if waiting for an objection.

  “You don’t have to,” I made myself say. “I mean, I would like it if you stayed, I just… That doesn’t mean that we…”

  “I know. Relax, I’m not expecting anything from you. But if there’s anything I can do to make you feel better, I’ll do it. You only have to ask.” He smiled. “And I don’t mean that just for today, either. Anything you need, anytime.”

  “Thank you.” I felt like I was saying that a lot tonight, but he sounded so sincere and I didn’t know what else to say, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he offered me anything, anytime, when all I could give him in return was not yet, maybe someday. But I was too tired to think too much about that now. “I’ll get ready for bed,” I said, just hoping that my decision to let him stay really was the right one.

  18

  Dean

  I really, really needed to get my hormones under control. Griff had asked me stay with him because he’d had a difficult day, because he didn’t want to be alone. Yes, we were going to spend the night in one bed, but that didn’t mean anything was going to happen. I knew that. So why did the sight of him in his pajamas get me so goddamn horny?

  Because you’re an alpha and he’s the sexiest omega you’ve ever seen and you’re lying in his bed. You’ve dreamed about being in this bed.

  I took a deep breath to shake off those thoughts. Personally, I hadn’t brought any pajamas, so I was sleeping in a shirt and my boxers… and I’d noticed Griff steal glances as I undressed. He was interested, so that was nice to know, but still, he wanted to take it slow. I could do slow. I could take it so slow.

  Oh, who are you kidding? You’re still staring at his ass.

  I rolled on my back and looked at the ceiling instead. Enough staring. I was here to comfort, not to fuck.

  “Thank you for staying,” Griff said again, as if he hadn’t said that like twenty-one times already. And then he climbed into the bed next to me. “I hope this isn’t too weird for you.”

  “It’s fine,” I insisted for the twenty-second time.

  He smiled at me, and that infusion of warmth I got from it made all my struggles worth it.

  Turning off the light, he settled on his side of the bed, as far away from me as possible.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t bite, you know.” What was I here for if not to hold him?

  “I know.” Slowly, he inched a little closer.

  I reached out and pulled him against my chest. “Is this okay?”

  He was stiff as a log at first, but then he exhaled and relaxed a little. “Yes.” He turned around to face me and his hair tickled my neck and chin. “This is fine.”

  “Good.” I kissed the top of his head. “Try to get some sleep.”

  “Okay.” He settled in, and I gently stroked a finger through the strands of his hair, hoping to soothe him.

  But it didn’t seem that sleep would come so easily. Griff spoke up again after only a minute. “Dean?” he whispered, as if checking to see whether it was okay to talk to me in the dark. I was oddly reminded of sleepovers we’d had as children, telling each other stories after bedtime in hushed voices. Back before I’d fallen for my friend.

  Or was there even a before? I wasn’t sure anymore. Looking back, I felt like I’d been lost the moment I first noticed how bright his smile was in elementary school.

  And now I was in bed with him, holding him in my arms—if only to comfort him.

  “Yeah?” I asked, trying to force my brain back into the present.

  “How long are you going to stay in Oceanport?”

  Where was that question coming from now? He hadn’t asked me that in a long time, and to be honest, I didn’t know the answer. At first, I’d planned to stay for a couple of weeks, and now I’d been here forever. “I’m not sure,” I said. “Why do you ask?”

  He fidgeted a little. “Just wondering how much time we have.”

  Oh. I hadn’t thought about that. I’d always just figured that I’d go back to Portland eventually, return to my job, and that Griff would just… actually, I hadn’t thought about that. Our relationship was too new, and lately, I didn't like to think about the future. But when I forced myself to picture it, I definitely wanted Griff in it. He felt so nice cuddled up against me. A comfortable warm weight at my side. One that I didn’t want to lose. “I’m not sure,” I said honestly. “I’m kind of getting used to living here, though.”

  “Really?” Griff’s voice sounded hopeful. Of course, if he pictured the same kind of future I did, he wouldn’t want me to leave. I didn’t have to ask to know that Griff wasn’t going to leave this town. He loved his brother and his role as an uncle in the childrens’ lives too much. This was his home. I couldn’t ask him to abandon ship and come to Portland with me.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I never meant to stay so long, but I guess I just can’t get myself to leave.”

  Griff played no small part in my reluctance to leave, of course, but it was also because I still couldn’t stand the thought of going back to my old job. He didn’t have to know that, though. If he never knew how much today’s events had shaken me as well, that was for the best.

  “Does that mean you’re going to stay?” Griff asked, and for the first time that day, his usual cheer seemed to have returned to his voice.

  Considering how much I loved hearing it, I really couldn’t say anything but, “Yes.”

  “Awesome!”

  I smiled. Looked like I’d picked the right answer. Griff slung an arm around my back, as if suddenly encouraged to cuddle closer by my response. I pulled him tight against my chest, and then I made the mistake of breathing in his scent and immediately felt punched in the gut in the best way possible.

  God, I could have baked three whole batches of cupcakes and their combined smell wouldn’t have been as sweet as Griff’s. He wasn’t simply my boyfriend, he was my best friend, and he was temptation made flesh.

  And he really needs you to not see him that way right now. You supposed to sleep next to him, not with him.

  But knowing that didn’t make my arousal disappear, even while I hated what a perv I was.

  Griff looked up, his hair tickling my nose. “Dean?” he asked again, his voice just shaky enough to make me wonder what was going through his head.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I kiss you?” The question seemed to make him feel a bit awkward. “I mean… can I just kiss you?”

  I understood. He wanted to know if he could kiss me without things escalating. If he could kiss me without me expecting more. But I was going to be true to my word. I was never going to pressure him, no matter how much I wanted him—and damn, did I want him. “You can kiss me any time.”

  Griff didn’t have to be told twice. He leaned up and pressed a kiss square on my lips, and his lips felt so nice on mine. All soft and sweet and inviting. And all the while his scent seemed to swirl all around me, temp
ting me to claim him for my own. I wasn’t going to, not yet, but it took every ounce of willpower I had to stick by that decision.

  And then Griff completely pulled the rug from under my feet by rolling on his back and pulling me on top of himself. God, what was he doing? I groaned. Having him underneath me felt so right in all the ways I couldn’t consider now. Did he even know what a tease he was being? Maybe not, because he slung his arms around my neck as if to keep me exactly where I was.

  And he was hard.

  Damn.

  I felt his erection press into my leg, and heard him let out the sweetest little sound when I moved my leg up, effectively rubbing him. I had no idea what had gotten into him so suddenly, but it was sexy as hell.

  And then he froze.

  I knew that the spell was broken the moment he tensed, and I rolled off him before he could push himself to try to convince me otherwise. “That was nice,” I said, pretending like I didn’t have a raging boner screaming for attention. Griff had bitten off more than he could chew, and I was sure he already felt bad enough about that without me adding to his misery by demanding things he couldn’t give. “Want to sleep now?” I asked.

  I waited for a long couple of seconds, but he didn’t say anything, still breathing hard.

  “Hey,” I said, reaching out to stroke his hair. “Don’t worry about it, okay? We’ll get there.” I only wished I knew what exactly he was so scared of. I’d been with virgins before, but none who reacted quite like that.

  “I’m sorry,” he said eventually, breaking my heart a little with how miserable he sounded.

  “Shhh. No need to apologize. Just sleep now. It’s been a long day.”

  He sighed, but he didn’t argue. Good boy. I pulled him back into my arms to show him how not-mad I was and held him until he fell asleep finally. I had a lot of questions. There were things that we needed to talk about in the morning, but for now, I was just happy to have him resting. Everything else we could figure out another time. I hoped.