Ripped

by Olivia Rigal

  Chapter Twenty

  I'm standing in front of a pile of charred wood covered by a bit of snow. I don't feel a thing. The only impression that comes to my mind is that it's a pretty desolate scene. I feel blissful indifference. This is all that is left of my parents' house. It burned down to the ground. An electrical fire is what the insurance report states.

  Gone is the scale on which she made me step once a week to make me feel self-conscious about my weight, gone is the crop she used to spank me with, gone is the metal comb she used to pull my hair out with under the guise of making me look neater... It's all gone up in smoke. I can't think of anything that was in that house that I could ever miss.

  After speaking to Dave and apologizing for hanging up on him, I waited till Monday and called the coroner. A very nice lady told me that they were able to identify them with what was left. Almost calcined bones I suppose. She told me that it would be better if I did not come to see their remains. She said something to the effect of keeping my memory of them as lovely as I could.

  I almost laughed. That would be a tall order but the poor woman had no way to know. She gave me the number of the local mortuary and I ordered two coffins. I didn't know if I would get anything from them but that was all right, I was willing to pay for their funeral because unlike them, I'm no monster.

  Ten is standing beside me, holding my hand. He states the obvious, "There's nothing left but the land."

  "That's okay. I wouldn't have wanted anything anyway. Ours are the only good childhood memories I cherish." He squeezes my hand. I know he understands.

  "You're still getting the plot of land, possibly the insurance money for the house and then you'll also get the diner," he says. "Oh and there's the balance of a bank account. The banker said they had some nice savings."

  Ten's been acting as my attorney and inquiring about the estate. I'm surprised the Bitch didn't leave it all to some charity to make sure I didn't get anything. My guess is she thought she still had many years ahead of herself before she had to get organized to make sure I didn't get a red cent from her.

  "I want to sell everything," I say.

  "Don't you want to think about it first? What about Martha? What about Wendy? They're still working there you know."

  "I'll sell to someone who will agree to keep them on. I'll have it put in the contract," I say.

  "We can do that."

  "Thank you. I would like never to hear about it again."

  "What will you do with the money?" Ten asks. "I have no idea what the diner will bring but the land is worth some nice cash."

  I look at him with a grin and say, "Maybe it's time I spread my wings and start my own restaurant."

  "Or you could stay home to take care of the kids. You don't need to work anymore. I can support us all."

  It's true. He may not be getting as much income as he would have if he had joined a major firm but he's doing okay in the small firm he's picked. It's been his choice. He decided he would work more reasonable hours to compensate the fact that I often work at night. I frown and wonder if he's still happy with his choice.

  He watches my change of expression and shrugs, "Just letting you know it's a possibility. You can do whatever you want, Lovey. I want you to be as happy as I am."

  I smile at him and ask, "You're really happy?"

  "I wouldn't trade my place with anyone else," he hugs me. "I just want a few other healthy babies and life will be perfect."

  "God, Ten. How many is a few?" I ask.

  "At least two or three more?" he says tentatively. "I hated being an only child. If it hadn't be for my cousin Jimmy and you I think I would have died of isolation."

  I squeeze his hand and say, "Let's go one at a time but two more sounds reasonable. I'm not sure Alexandra would agree though. She's already jealous of any attention you give to me. She'll got bat shit crazy when you take care of another child."

  "No she won't, I'll tell her it's a plaything, she'll believe that we made her sibling just for her."

  I laugh. He loves her so much. I have to play bad cop most of the time otherwise we'll soon have a monster. We get back in the car. Ten's little princess is fast asleep. Car rides pacify her.

  Tonight we're staying in Ten's beach bungalow. I'm dreading it because of the memories of Alexander it conjures but then the other choice would be the main house. I'm not sure I'm ready to cohabit with the Clark clan even for a night in a place that also holds memory of Alexander... Sharing the evening meal will be weird enough.

  When we arrive we're greeted by Jimmy and Steven. They brought Laura with them. Laura is their live-in assistant. She runs their household and works for their auction house as well. They took her in right after high-school when she started college. She's studying art history. I think she's finished her masters degree and started a PhD.

  She watches me get Alexandra out of her car seat and extends her arms, "May I?" she asks.

  "Of course," I say giving my baby to her. "It's so nice of you to have come all this way to watch her while I attend the funeral."

  "It's no bother at all," she says and there's a glow about her that I never noticed before. She's one of those women that looks good with a baby in her arms.

  Jimmy and Stevens seem to agree with me. They have this warm way of looking at her twirling Alexandra around and babbling sweet nothings to her as she walks in the house. Alexandra likes her. Oh well, Alexandra likes anyone who treats her like she's the center of the universe and right now that's what Laura's doing.

  Jimmy and Steven exchange a conspiratorial look. Yep, those two are ready for parenthood and up to something. They just need to find the right girl. And then I have a light bulb moment. They have the right girl. They're looking at her.

  We all walk in the house. There's a nice fire roaring and James Senior is looking into it pensively. He turns around and says good-naturedly, "It's about time, I'm famished."

  His two grandsons give him a hand to get up from the sofa and help him walk to the dining room table. He's aged a lot in the past six months and he's decided to live here full time. He seems to need a push to get started and then he walks like a wind-up mechanical toy.

  The table is prettily set. Laura's work, no doubt about this. I notice there's a high chair ready for Alexandra. Jimmy follows my gaze and says, "I went looking for it and found it in the attic. It was mine and then Ten's."

  "Mine," claims Alexandra and we all laugh.

  "Thank you for digging up this family heirloom," I say.

  James Senior sits next to me and puts his large hand on mine. "Now don't get me wrong, Lyv, I really like this little Alexandra Jane here but I would really love a great grandson. Do you think you could produce one before I kick the bucket?"

  "We're working on it, Sir," I say.

  Funny how he blushes a little. "Good, Good." He chuckles and says to Ten, "I have a confession and an apology to make to you, kid." Ten looks at him with a puzzled expression on his face. James Senior's not the confession type and he's usually unapologetic as hell.

  "For years I thought you were batting for the other team," the old man says. "And since those two have this weird arrangement going," he points to Jimmy and Steven with his chin, "I thought the family would end with you guys."

  Jimmy laughs, "We haven't said our last word yet. With a bit of luck we could deliver a great grandson before Lyv and Ten do."

  For a second I think I see Laura blush and I see her in a new light. Wow, how does one handle two men? I look at the window not to stare at her nor at Ten who may be a bit uncomfortable and my eyes fall on the hot tub. I have this memory of one evening I spent in it, chatting away with Ten and Alexander. In my mind I try to play a film of me between Ten and Alex and it's so unsettling that I almost gasp.

  Ten who is sitting between Alexandra's high chair and me follows my gaze and raises an eyebrow. I smile at him. Everything is fine. I think one man at a time is all that I can handle. But I do understand Laura. I know for a fact you can love
two men simultaneously. I guess she's the lucky one because they're happy with that situation.

  We finish dinner early and walk out through the cold to the bungalow. Some changes have been made since my last visit. There's a powerful radiator which warms up the place quickly and there's a gigantic bed that occupies most of the space. It's larger than a king size. I'm thinking it's been custom built.

  "Since we were not coming around, I let Jimmy use it and you know..."

  Ten doesn't finish his sentence but I get it. To be in a ménage you don't only need a bigger heart than most, you also need a much larger bed.

  There's also a brand new child folding bed by the window. The price sticker is still on the bottom leg. In the bed there's a little pillow, the cutest blanket, and an old fashioned wood mobile. Laura has thought of everything. Obviously, she's ready to be a mother.

  We put Alexandra to rest and she quickly falls asleep after playing with her crib toy. I'll have to remember to thank Laura for sparing me from the restless night I was dreading with the baby between the two of us.

  Ten comes out of the bathroom and says, "I loved it when you made the old man blush... 'We're working on it' was a cool answer. Come on, Lovey, get ready for bed. We've got work to do."

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Thank God it's Friday! I sing along as I hear the song playing on the radio when I walk by the electronics store a couple of blocks away from home. The music blasting from their speaker is so loud the baby jerked in me. Even though the sound must have been muffled by the amniotic fluid, it was enough to startle him... or her.

  It's been a long winter and a trying one. I gave my resignation to Marc Martin in September, telling him that I was going to take a break and then open my own place. He wouldn't hear of it. He said I had to stay on and train someone else. The man's been so good to me there was no way I could refuse, so I stayed on until tonight.

  My due date is February 15. I have four days to rest before pushing my third child into the world. Manhattan is packing up for a long weekend. The weather channel has announced a snowstorm. Yesterday I made sure we were stocked up for a few days without electricity. We have canned food, plenty of bottled water and candles. Tonight after I've taken my shower I'm filling up the bathtub. During this pregnancy I've had a very hard time with smells, there's no way I'm going to be caught in a place where I can't flush.

  I get home and free Catherine, our live-in girl. She's spending the weekend at her boyfriend's house in Brooklyn. She needs the rest, soon she's going to be helping me juggling two kids. She rushes out the second I get in. Alexandra's all cleaned and ready for bed. I throw my coat on the sofa and settle on the floor in her room to play with her giant Duplo farm. It's a present from Alexander. He has purchased every existing animal in addition to the box set so it's more like Noah's arc than a farm. I get a kick out of watching Alexandra using the lion and the tiger to shepherd the cattle back into her corale. Every so often, when I make animal sounds, there's a burst of laughter from both of us. Nothing's more delightful than a young child's giggles. She's such a cute little girl. She has a temper though. She can be adorable one instant and horrible the next. I smile thinking that it's probably what the people working with me have been thinking for the past weeks!

  "Dada!" Alexandra screams and stretches her arm out. I look up and Ten is leaning on the door frame. He's got a few snowflakes in his hair and is all flushed from the cold. He picks her up and says, "Is my little princess ready for bed?"

  She protests and he teases her. I roll over to a sitting position. I'm a regular blimp. As I try to stand up, I get a strange pain that makes me stop halfway in my movement. I freeze and take a deep breath. I'm not saying anything to Ten because if I do he'll freak out and we'll spend the weekend in the emergency room getting me monitored. I try moving again. I'm fine.

  I manage to get back up and get our dinner started while Ten begins to read a bed time story to Alexandra. I know one can easily turn to a dozen if you let her. When our meal is ready I call the last story, give Alexandra a kiss and go lay down on the couch. I flip through the channels and the biggest news of the night is the snowstorm. The weatherman predicts that this February, 1983, snowstorm will be one we'll all remember. I look at the flurries through the window. It's lovely to watch the snow when you're warm and safe.

  I close my eyes and when I open them again the lights are dimmed. I have a pillow under my head and a cover on my body. Ten's laying on the floor by my side reading a book.

  "I'm sorry," I say. "I wanted to spend the evening with you. We've both been so busy. I've hardly seen you for weeks."

  "Don't worry baby I'm not going anywhere for a few days," he point to the window and through the city lights I see that we're in the middle of some serious weather. I pull myself up and there's this weird pain again.

  Ten is watching me and he notices this time.

  "Are you all right?" he asks.

  "Sure, I just forget that I'm so large I need to move more slowly," I say.

  "You're not large," he says and I snort. He laughs, "Okay, you are but you're also magnificent. The last time he saw you, Jimmy said you looked like a splendid fertility goddess."

  "Right, Laura and me, we're the two new fertility goddesses and we're going to populate the earth with little Clarks." I stop and realize I'm being silly. Who knows if Laura's baby is Jimmy or Steven's kid? Their life style sure is complicated. How do you work this out?

  I pull myself up and walk to the corner window. The view is magnificent. Everything is pure white. There's no traffic in the street or in the avenue. A few pedestrians are walking by, probably rushing home. I realize that Oliver was supposed to be here tonight. I guess he got stuck at the hospital. He's only a dozen blocks away so he could walk back home. Probably some of the staff never showed because of the storm and he's stuck there.

  The pain returns and I can hardly stand. I would feel so much safer if Oliver were here. I can't walk all those blocks to the hospital and I'm sure there are no ambulances available tonight.

  "Ten," I want to ask him to call Oliver and find out if he's coming home.

  "Yes dear," he answers without looking up. He's back in his book.

  "Ten," I call out again. The room is spinning and I have a hard time breathing. I'm in a part of the room where there's nothing to hold on to. One more step and I'll be by the couch. Surely I can do one more step. I try and call out again, "Ten" before all starts turning to black. "Shit he's going to freak out," is the last thought I have as I fade away.

  When I come around, Ten's face is over mine. He's trying to look cool but I know he's panicked.

  "How do you feel?" he asks.

  "Fine. I think," I go through a slow inventory of my sensations speaking out loud. "The back of my head is throbbing. Probably the result of my fall. The belly is a bit contracted but nothing painful. My legs are sticky."

  "Yeah, your water broke," he says with a wary voice.

  "What are you not telling me?" I ask. He knows this is a normal part of childbirth, he's seen it last time. Something else has to be bothering him.

  "I don't remember it being so pink for Alexandra."

  "Oh ... I'm surprised you were able to notice the color on the dark floor of the court house."

  He ignores my comment and says, "I buzzed the doorman and asked if we had a midwife in the building. He consulted with the super and said we have a nurse who's been working in a hospice for the last twenty years, an eighty year old retired orthopedic surgeon, a shrink, and a recently graduated otolaryngologist."

  I laugh at this inventory, "The recent graduate sounds like the best bet," I say.

  "That's what I thought too but he's not home," Ten explains.

  "We're going to be fine," I say. "Women had babies at home for centuries and..."

  "The mortality rates were astounding," Ten says.

  I try to joke. "You realize you're not being helpful?"

  "Sorry baby, I'm so sorry." Ten hates being hel
pless.

  "Did you call Oliver?"

  "Of course. That's the first thing I did!"

  "And?"

  "He's finishing some surgery and coming over as quickly as he can."

  "Good. He'll find a way to get here. We're going to be fine."

  "You promise?" Ten's got tears in his eyes. "I don't know what I would do without you."

  I pull him to me, "Stop it, silly. You're being dramatic for nothing! I'm not going anywhere."

  I put his hand on my belly and say, "You see, no contractions. You're not allowed to panic before they're at full force and five minutes apart. In the meantime we're going to pick a name."

  Ten wipes his eyes and tries to play along. "You remember you only get to pick the first name because he gets James as a middle name, right?"

  "Yes, I was thinking about Oliver."

  "What about Oliver?" Ten has never been so thick.

  "Oliver, for the baby's name."

  "Oh!" Now he gets it.

  "If Oliver runs under the blizzard to come deliver this baby, I think we should call your son Oliver."

  "Sure," he says. But at this point he's so worried that I could suggest something as exotic as Amadeus or Archibald he would have no objection.

  "I'm going to close my eyes and rest now," I say. "I'm really tired."

  I wake up again and all I see is the top of Oliver's head. He's got my legs bent and my knees spread out. He's got a hand into me. He's trying to ascertain the extent of the dilation.

  "Hey, Doc," I say.

  "Hey, Lyv." He looks at me and winks. "Thank you for bailing me out, otherwise I would have been stuck in the emergency room all night."

  "Any time," I laugh. Only Oliver could consider my dragging him through the cold for twelve blocks as doing him a favor. "Where's Ten?"

  "I sent him to kitchen and told him to boil water."

  "What ever for?" I ask.

  "To get him out of the way." Oliver's grinning. "That's what they always say in the cowboy movies when the woman is having a baby in the middle of nowhere."