Identity Crisis (Blood Brothers #4)

by Manda Mellett

  By the time we arrive at the airport in Al Qur’ah we’re all exhausted as well as partly deaf, and relieved that Kadar’s arranged transport to take us to the palace. And when Cara steps up and takes Mollie from Sean the relief that floods through him is palpable.

  Cara grins sympathetically at him, “You look done in!”

  “You’re not wrong there.” Sean stretches his neck and shoulders. Mollie might not weigh much, but he’d been holding her for nigh on ten hours straight now and must be pleased to be relieved of his burden.

  Zoe has come out alongside her sister-in-law and is rubbing one hand over her seven-month baby bump while stretching out her other to look at the baby in Cara’s arms. “Oh, she’s beautiful, Sean. She looks just like you!”

  For some reason, this comment and seeing them cooing over the baby gets to me, and a strangled sound escapes involuntarily. Sean glances down, and catches a glimpse of my face which I can feel has paled. Touching his fingers briefly to my shoulder, he whispers, “Why don’t you go ahead and get settled in? I’ll join you shortly.”

  My head jerks, he’s given me the excuse I need, but I answer with a small shake of my head, I don’t want to appear unprofessional.

  Zoe’s watching me closely. “Are you okay?”

  Sean answers for me, “It was a long flight; we’re all tired.” I give an inward sigh of relief that he hasn’t given away my secret.

  I feel a nudge in my back; Sean’s pushing me away and toward the houses in the compound where we’ll be staying. “Go get yourself sorted out; I’ll be along shortly.”

  Giving in I nod, and leave them to it.

  Reaching the same small but perfectly adequate house we were assigned last time, I step inside feeling like I’m coming home. Was it really only three days ago, that we left this place? Seems like so much has happened in just a few days. Going upstairs I open my carry-on bag and start taking out my clothes, and then I stop. With the way, we’re moving from place to place I can see why Sean doesn’t bother to unpack. Perhaps I won’t this time either. Replacing my clothes and pulling out my washbag instead, I go to the bathroom and splash my face. Being around Sean and the baby today woke me up as much as the cold water from the taps has done. While sex with Sean is great, keeping everything to the club and not letting it spill over into our everyday lives is a bit like having my cake and eating it. He’s not the man for me, not with the responsibilities he has. At last removed from the company of the baby I allow myself to relax and breathe normally for the first time in hours.

  I don’t know how long I’ve been daydreaming, staring at my tired reflection in the mirror, but a banging door brings me to my senses. Sean’s back. And now it’s time to face the music, Sean, Mollie and I are going to be living in close proximity for the foreseeable future, and I can’t avoid them forever. I can’t stay hidden up here. Taking a few deep breaths to prepare myself, I go downstairs. And find Sean alone.

  “Where’s Mollie?” I ask, looking around in the unlikely even she might be hiding somewhere.

  It’s impossible to miss how tired and drained he looks as he replies, “Cara’s taken her for the night. She’s staying in the palace nursery.”

  To say I’m relieved I’m not going to be forced into dealing with my issues with her tonight is an understatement; they haven’t invented a word to describe how I feel about the reprieve I’ve been given. I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding, then, when I look at Sean, I see how selfish I’ve been thinking only of myself. His complexion is tinged with grey, red around his eyes, “You look exhausted.”

  He tilts his head to the side, and his eyes, gleaming with intent, fix on mine, “Come here.”

  Automatically my feet start moving across to him, but I stop before I get too close. His arms reach out, and he pulls me into him. I’ve got suspicions of what might be on his mind, and I’m not certain it’s a good idea to go there. Had last night been a mistake? If we repeat it, it would be. I’m not sure how long I can keep my heart from getting involved if he thinks us making love is going to be a regular thing. I try to stop him, “Sean, I…”

  “Just give me this.” His lips come down to mine, and he kisses me with the lightest of touches. As my traitorous body starts to respond, he deepens the caress, his tongue demanding entry. My hands go up to tunnel through his hair, pulling his head closer to mine. The touch of his hair feels like silk beneath my fingers, his musky male scent so enticing I breathe deeply through my nose to get the full effect. A tingle runs down my spine, and I feel myself growing wet. How can I resist him?

  He pulls away, resting his forehead against mine, “Tell me you want this too.”

  I’m fighting for sanity, forcing myself to remember he comes with strings. Some sense of self-preservation stirs, “Sean, it’s a bad idea.” If I allow my baser instincts to let him into my bed tonight I know I’ll never want to let him go. I don’t kid myself that I’m anything more to him than here, and available. I’ll be letting myself in for a whole lot of hurt unless we keep sex to a pleasurable activity between us, and limited to the club.

  “The way I’m feeling right now, it’s a very good one.”

  I don’t know how, but from somewhere I summon up the strength to pull away, “It won’t look that way in the morning.” It takes everything I am to reject him. “We agreed on our roles last night. I’ll be your sub at the club, but nothing more. I’m going to bed now, Sean. Alone.” I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry, “Repeating last night would complicate everything. Don’t, don’t push me Sean. Please?” I know my eyes are leaking as I plead with him to let me go. Another night in his arms won’t be enough. I’ll want to go back for more the next, and the ones after that. I won’t be able to stop.

  He lifts his hand to my cheek, gently cupping it, his fingers gently caressing my skin and it’s all I can do not to give in to temptation. If he makes one more move toward me… But after only a few seconds he nods, and turns away. Dismissed I make my way upstairs to my lonely bed.

  I toss and turn, falling into a proper sleep only shortly before dawn. Morning comes far too soon. I wake, disorientated, before remembering where I am. As I go downstairs gurgling sounds greet me, and in the sitting room I find Mollie lying on a play mat kicking out at a baby’s play gym. She seems happy and content. I quickly flick my eyes away from her as I make my way into the kitchen where I find Sean making breakfast, and, thank God, he’s already got the coffee on the go.

  As I walk in, he nods toward the room I’ve just left, “Cara brought her over earlier. She’s a good kid. Happy to amuse herself. When she’s not on a plane, that is.” He laughs, obviously remembering the torment of the day before.

  Moving over to help myself to a drink, I take a moment to examine him, and immediately wish I hadn’t. His jeans hang low on his hips, the top button open, and his chest is bare allowing me an uninterrupted sight of the glorious V arrowing down to what I already know is an impressive package hiding underneath. Why does he have to be so devastatingly handsome and so hard to resist? He catches me staring, and smirks, his boyish charm attracting me like a bee to honey. I feel so drawn to him it’s hard to keep my distance, but as I’m wondering how to keep away a knock at the door breaks my absorption in the hot man in front of me.

  With Sean’s eyes on me, I remember to check who’s there before turning off the security system and opening it. As I expected, it’s Ryan and Nat who come bearing gifts which they pass over to me, nothing special, just a couple of ID tags so we can get into the palace without needing an escort. I lead them into where Sean’s dishing up some food on plates.

  As Ryan reaches over to snag some bacon, he catches a glimpse of Sean’s state of undress, “Oh my God,” he exaggerates putting his hand over his eyes, “Put some clothes on man, please. Not all of us like to see your junk hanging out first thing in the morning.”

  His words make Sean look down at himself, and he throws a towel at Ryan when he confirms he is suitably covered. Nevertheles
s, he does up the top button. “Nessa, could you grab a tee for me from my room, please?”

  Nat swings round from the coffee machine that he’d made a beeline for, “Nessa?”

  Sean shrugs, “Van makes her sound like something you cart gear around in; she doesn’t like Ness, and Vanessa is too much of a mouthful. Thank you.” He adds the last as I hand him his shirt, and leans down to whisper in my ear, “Though a very tasty mouthful.”

  As usual, I hate my complexion, unable to do anything to stop the flush coming to my cheeks. Ryan gives me a sharp look and then barks a laugh, “Like that is it?”

  Shooting my fist out I thump his arm, “No it isn’t, like, well, whatever it is you’re suggesting.” I realise my quick denial has probably only confirmed what he’s thinking.

  Sean’s raises his eyebrows, and I redden even more. Ryan’s outright laughing and Nat’s sniggering behind his hand. At that moment I’m saved as Mollie starts to cry. No one moves for a second, then Ryan gets up and goes to collect her, bringing her in and jiggling her around until she starts laughing and giggling. Sean heats up a bottle in the microwave and holds it out.

  “Want to feed her?”

  Ryan glances at me, and goes as if to pass her over. I take a step backwards, not wanting to risk dropping her, I’m starting to shake as it is. With a puzzled shrug, he takes the bottle, perches on a stool and expertly puts the teat to her mouth. She starts to guzzle noisily, and I’m impressed by the way he’s handling her.

  “You’ve had some practice at that,” Nat observes.

  “Two nieces and a nephew,” Ryan informs him, “And a worn-out sister who takes advantage whenever I go around.”

  Sean’s giving me a careful look; I nod to show him I’m fine, and proving it, go and fill a plate with some of the food he’s cooked, my hand only slightly trembling. He’s dished up bacon, scrambled egg and toast, enough for all of us, so he was obviously expecting the others to turn up. By turning my back on Ryan with Mollie in my arms, I’m able to eat it all.

  Another coffee later, we’re all done. Sean’s disappeared and then returned with a now fresher smelling Mollie, and after having visited the gun safe and taken out the weapons we each prefer, we make our way to the palace. Once again I’m stunned by the wealth blatantly on display, and doubt I’ll ever get used to it. Although I’ve coped quite well this morning or, in other words, have successfully avoided having anything to do with her, I’m pleased when Sean drops Mollie off at the royal nursery. Then, knowing the place the best, he takes the lead as we make our way to the government offices. Once there we’re offered seats in Kadar’s reception area.

  The emir has clearly had an early start to his day, and we aren’t shown straight in. The reason for the delay becomes evident as just before our meeting is supposed to start, his office door opens, and out comes several robed men with weather-beaten faces. It only takes me a second to appreciate these must be the famed desert sheikhs that I’ve heard so much about.

  One pauses his steps as he reaches us. “Sean, it’s good to see you again. How’s the leg?”

  “Much better, thank you, Sheikh Rais,” Rising to his feet, Sean accompanies his words with a bow of his head, “And how are you and the Haimi?”

  “My people and I are well,” Rais, a fierce looking man narrows his eyes, “But what I hear about the threats to our country are not so. You’ve come to help us, I believe?”

  “Grade A will do their best,” Sean assures him.

  “As they always do.” Rais claps his hand on Sean’s shoulder, almost making him stagger, and then goes off to catch up with the other tribal leaders.

  A sound draws my attention, and I turn to see Kadar waiting at his office door. He’s looking toward his assistant, “Ma’mum, could you ask Sheikha Cara to join us, please?” Then he turns to us, “Please come in.” Standing aside as we enter his office he then waves us to the conference table in front of the windows. “Please, sit. Help yourself to refreshments.”

  Knowing from my last visit the coffee here is dense and strong I avoid it, but my colleagues busy themselves rattling cups and saucers, and I take a moment to study the emir, now seeing him in a formal setting. He’s still only in the first year of his rule. He’s a tall man, olive skinned and wearing traditional robes, his headdress secured by a golden agal. His dark eyes seem penetrating, as he waits for people to get settled, landing on each man in turn as though assessing them. Finally, his gaze lands on me, and he offers a small smile which lightens his face, making him instantly more approachable.

  At last everyone has sorted themselves and taken their seats when Cara enters the room. Accompanying her is Hunter, guiding her in with his hand on her elbow. Instantly Kadar’s eyes darken at the sight. He grunts a greeting, adding, “Hunter, please sit there.” He points to a chair at the opposite end of the table from Cara making me wonder what the history is between them.

  “Oh, for goodness sake Kadar,” Cara raps her brother-in-law on the hand, “Get over yourself, Hunter’s my friend. You know that perfectly well.”

  Hunter’s grinning widely as he winks at Cara and shrugs, making his tousled hair flop down over his forehead. He brushes it back.

  The door opens, and Nijad comes in and takes his place by the side of his brother. Both sheikhs are strikingly handsome men, but as my eyes flick toward Sean, with his boyish charm and roguish looks, I find myself comparing them to him and finding them wanting. Even Hunter can’t hold a candle to him. And, for a while at least, he’s mine. A shiver of a different sort runs down my spine as I recall just what he’s capable of doing to me. Which is not the right frame of mind for a serious meeting.

  Kadar acknowledges his brother with a nod, and then, after giving a piercing stare round the table gets down to business. “Thank you for coming here today. I’ve invited Cara here as she’s been looking at the chatter on the web and seeing if there’s anything there that can help us. Cara?”

  Cara, who I now look at with more interest having a greater understanding of the Dom/sub dynamic now, has definitely grown in her relationship with Nijad. I watch her with interest, Grade A had been providing bodyguards for the sheikhs during the period when she’d first come to Amahad. She’d been a shy retiring woman then, but is so full of confidence and poise today and perfectly at ease being a woman in a roomful of powerful men. Deciding I could learn something from her, I watch as she opens her laptop. “I’ve been trying to hack into the emails that Amir al-Fahri sends and receives, but he’s obviously updated their encryption. All I can tell you is the volume has recently increased, but I can’t get into who they’re from or to, or the content. So, I’m sorry, but I’m of no immediate help there.”

  “Cara,” I say her name to get her attention, “Is there anything I can help with?”

  She knows my area of expertise, and I haven’t got the hacking skills she has, “No, I don’t think so at the moment, Vanessa. I’ll keep working on breaking the encryption, and if I do get in, no doubt the messages will be in code, and that’s when you can help.”

  I nod.

  “So,” Kadar begins, “We know there’s a credible threat against Amahad, notably our tourist venues. But we don’t know exactly when or where, just that it will be soon.”

  Everyone nods or offers another gesture of in agreement at his succinct summary.

  “We’ve tightened up security, and have doubled the checks at the airports,” the emir continues.

  “We’ll post Grade A men at the airport, casino and souk as well. They’ll wear local clothing, so they’ll fit in,” Hunter announces.

  “Do you think the harem will be a target?” Nijad consults his wife as he refers to the part of the palace recently converted to be a hen party venue.

  “We’ve only just started taking bookings, and we’ve not got anything definite for another month. And as the newest renovation to the palace, we took security seriously. I’m not sure there’s much to worry about.” Cara’s looking thoughtful.

  “
Wouldn’t hurt to put a man there as well.”

  “Or a woman?” Sean raises his eyebrows at me. He’s offering me a role, but is it just because he thinks it’s the least likely target?

  It brings Hunter’s attention to me, “Do you want to take responsibility for the harem?”

  Put on the spot, I can’t see how I can refuse. I’m an operative, and the most junior and least experienced at the table. “I’m fine with that.”

  “Zoe would be heartbroken if all her good work was destroyed, so thank you, Vanessa. You’ll have palace guards there as well,” Kadar reassures me.

  “Perhaps they’ll offer you a cheap rate for your hen party afterwards,” Ryan laughs, and my face goes red. But I can’t stop my eyes flicking toward Sean who’s grinning at me. I look quickly away.

  Kadar’s taken the suggestion seriously, “I’m sure we’ll be able to do something.”

  “Thank you, but I’m not getting married!” The words tumble out of my mouth as I squirm in embarrassment, wanting the focus to be taken off me.

  “I’ll take the casino.” Sean butts in, making me thankful to him for turning the subject away from my non-existent wedding. “I know it fairly well, and can work with the security that’s already in place.” There are a few sniggers as people realise just how he knows it so thoroughly.

  And of course, Ryan can’t resist, “Hopefully you know more than the bar where you picked up your conquests, Sean.”

  Sean throws a balled-up piece of paper at Ryan, “I set up their security, you jerk.”

  Hunter taps on the table, impatient to get us back to business, “I’ll take the airport.” He points his finger across the table, “Like Sean and the casino, I already have knowledge of the weak points as I did some work for you there before, Kadar, when we were beefing up all around as the oil workers started to come in.”

  Ryan and Nat are having a private discussion; then Ryan speaks for them both. “We’ll take the souk. Be useful if we have some of your men with us. Our Arabic is pretty good, but our accents would give us away. They’ll help us to blend in better and with more manpower we can cover more ground.”