Love's Past

by Laura Bastian

  Amelia nodded sadly. “I understand how important it would be for you to have your mother.”

  Kaitlyn moved over to her and sat on the bench beside Amelia. “How long has your mother been gone?”

  “Seven years.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Kaitlyn put her arm around Amelia and pulled her close. “I can’t imagine how that would feel.”

  Amelia did her best to smile through the sad memories and Kaitlyn could see her efforts when she changed the subject. “I can’t wait to have you here permanently. I’m sure when my father hears that Jack is marrying, he’ll let me stay here more often.”

  “Do you like visiting Sir Hughes’ home?”

  Amelia smiled. “It’s almost like a second home to me. My family used to visit here a lot. Before my mother died, we spent weeks at a time here. My mother and his mother were such good friends. And Jack is practically my brother. He has no other siblings, so he treated me exceedingly well. Spending time here brings me such happy memories. And with you here now, it will become more like a home. The way it is meant to be. With little ones running around and brightening up the world.”

  Kaitlyn chuckled. “You’re getting a little ahead of yourself.”

  Amelia bobbed her head. “I’m sorry. I’m just very excited.” She put one arm around Kaitlyn and hugged her tight, making Kaitlyn feel horrible for the deception. She was hoping to make things easier for all of them, but her plans weren’t working out as simply as she’d hoped.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Cyrus looked up at the huge home that sat on a small rise in the land. Kaitlyn would someday call that home. It was hard to look at it objectively. All he could see was the opulence and the grandeur and he felt disappointed that Kaitlyn allowed it to sway her. He’d left Aunt Nellie’s as early as possible and knew he was too early to be a welcome visitor. The ladies of the house were probably not finished getting dressed or having their hair done. But he needed to see Kaitlyn, to find out what had happened, and to see if there was any way he could convince her to rethink her decision.

  As he sat astride his horse, he saw movement from the side of the house. As he watched closer, he realized it was Jack leaving the building with another man at his side. Jack paused, catching sight of Cyrus. When he recognized him, Jack waved him closer.

  Taking a deep breath in hopes of not making a fool of himself or calling the man out for proposing to Kaitlyn, Cyrus urged the horse forward. He dismounted when he reached the gravel and walked the horse with him the remaining few feet to speak with Sir Hughes.

  “Good morning,” Jack said.

  “Good morning,” Cyrus replied. “I do hope it’s not a problem that I’ve dropped by. Mr. Milton and I arrived late last night. I wanted to check with my cousins. Is Jem here?”

  “No, he had some business to take care of this morning and won’t be back until later tonight.”

  “Is Kaitlyn here by herself then?” Cyrus asked, feeling the tendons in his hands tingle as he tightened his fist.”

  “My cousin Amelia is with her. And Aunt Nellie has sent Kaitlyn’s maid Sarah with as well. She is perfectly safe here while her brother is gone.” Jack smiled and glanced at the man with him. He had a pocket watch out, and Jack sighed. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay and visit any longer. I have some pressing business to take care of in London today. I’ll return by night fall, and I do hope to speak with you then.”

  Cyrus nodded, not wanting to commit to waiting on the man. Jack bowed to Cyrus, who returned the motion and then turned to watch some grooms bringing two horses up for Jack and his friend.

  “Thank you, Thomas.” He sprung up into the saddle with practiced ease, making Cyrus feel like he’d only been playing at riding horses his whole life. “Please see to Mr. Manning’s animal. He’ll be visiting with his cousin, Miss Taylor.”

  Thomas bowed and took the horse without a word. Cyrus watched for a few minutes while Sir Hughes and his friend left the property. Cyrus looked back at the house. Now that he was here, he was almost afraid to see Kaitlyn.

  He mentally fortified himself and pulled up his figurative boot straps. He took slow, easy steps to the front door. The butler who answered it gave him a look, and Cyrus wondered if the man would give him any trouble. “I’m Cyrus Manning. Cousin to Miss Kaitlyn Taylor and her brother Jem Taylor.”

  “Of course, right this way.” The butler led him into the small parlor in the front of the house. “I’ll inform Miss Woodrow and Miss Taylor.”

  Cyrus waited in the room for a few minutes, then stood and began to pace. Would she be happy to see him? An ornate gold-leaf clock chimed the half hour and he knew he’d been there for more than ten minutes. In another five, the butler opened the door. A cute young girl and an older woman who looked like a housekeeper or a maid entered the room. The butler spoke, “Miss Woodrow, this is Cyrus Manning. He’s here to see his cousins.”

  “It’s wonderful to meet you, Mr. Manning. Kaitlyn will be down shortly.”

  “Thank you,” Cyrus said. He nodded politely when she motioned for him to be seated after she and the ladies’ maid sat down.

  “How was your trip to Bath?” Amelia asked.

  “Productive,” Cyrus said. “And I enjoyed seeing the sights.”

  “I wish I could have gone with my father on this trip, but unfortunately, he had too much business to take care of and didn’t want to inconvenience me since we gave up our house there a few years ago. Yet, my staying here has been a blessing, I think. I’ve been able to meet your dear cousin and have grown quite fond of her.”

  Cyrus nodded, unsure of what to say. The girl was trying to be polite and carry the conversation, but he wished she would have just stayed upstairs and sent Kaitlyn down alone instead of doing the polite thing of coming to check on their guest.

  He shouldn’t have come so early.

  “I’m sure you’ve heard the great news,” Amelia said. She looked over at him. Cyrus gritted his teeth, trying to keep his jaws from tightening too much that it would force a grimace from his face.

  “It seems a bit sudden to me,” Cyrus said.

  Amelia nodded as if she understood. “Perhaps it does, but I do think when two people find they are compatible and enjoy one another’s company, there is no reason to postpone their union.”

  The door opened saving Cyrus from any response, but even if he’d been required to speak, he didn’t know if he could. Kaitlyn stood in the doorway, more stunning than even his memories of her could have produced. Her form-fitting bodice was a lovely shade of lavender, and the full skirt flowed out from her waist, making him wish he was allowed to hold her. Instead, he stood frozen in place to meet her as she entered the room.

  “Kaitlyn,” he said softly, wishing he could move over to her and take her out of the stupid parlor and outside where they could talk uninterrupted.

  “Cyrus,” Kaitlyn said. “I’m surprised you’re here. When did you get back?” She moved over and gave him a hug, but with Amelia watching him like a hawk, he didn’t dare put his arms around her though his whole body screamed at him to pull her tight.

  “Last night.”

  She stepped back and clasped her hands in front of her. “How was Bath?” Her question was polite, but the look of surprise at seeing him didn’t bode well for him.

  “Different than the last time I was there.”

  Kaitlyn’s tiny smile made his heart melt. “I wish I could have gone to see it with you. I guess I’ll have to take a trip another time.”

  Amelia nodded eagerly. “After the wedding, you and Jack can go visit.”

  Kaitlyn’s eyes flew to Cyrus’s. She pressed her lips together. He could see her hands fidgeting.

  Cyrus swallowed hard and stared at Kaitlyn, wondering what she’d say.

  “That would be fun, but not quite the honeymoon I imagined.” She looked over at Cyrus as if he should share in the humor of her statement. Instead, Cyrus felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

  Amel
ia gasped daintily and blushed a little. “Of course not,” Amelia said. “You can save that trip for another time. I’m sure you and Jack will go to his other home. It’s a beautiful estate.”

  “He has another home?” Kaitlyn asked, sounding surprised. “There is still so much I need to learn about him.” Cyrus could hear the excitement in her voice and didn’t think he could take any more of it. If she knew so little of the man, why on earth was she marrying him?

  “I need to see Jem,” Cyrus said. “Do you know where I might find him?”

  “He’s gone to find Reese.” Kaitlyn’s soft smile lit her eyes. “He had something he wanted to tell her.”

  “I’ll go find them. I need to take care of a few things before I return home.” He stood quickly and bowed to Amelia. “It was a pleasure meeting you. Please excuse me for my rush.”

  Unable to face Kaitlyn and the joy she was feeling about her new engagement, Cyrus only bowed in her direction without meeting her eyes. He walked out the door and took the hat from the butler, who seemed to know he would be leaving.

  ***

  Cyrus rode the horse as fast as he could, trying to get away from the image of a happily engaged woman in the house of her dreams. He’d been more than a fool. He’d stepped away because he didn’t want to watch her be all flirty with the guy, wanting to believe she’d never consider staying in the past, and yet she’d somehow fallen in love with the man. He could do nothing about it without sounding like a crybaby.

  He had to find Jem. He would know if there was any chance for him to convince Kaitlyn not to do it. And if Jem had any doubt whatsoever of her feelings for the guy, the two of them could go to Kaitlyn and talk her out of this foolish idea. He had to convince her not to stay, yet as he rode away, he knew he didn’t deserve her. Instead of standing up and fighting for her, he ran away looking for help from her brother.

  He’d never win Kaitlyn this way. Cyrus pulled hard on the reins, bringing the horse to a skidding stop. He stood up in the stirrups and turned his body around to look at the grand home behind him in the distance.

  ***

  Kaitlyn felt empty. Amelia and the maid left the parlor to move to the breakfast room, and Kaitlyn had promised to be along shortly. She needed to have time to come to terms with what happened. When she saw Cyrus that first moment, her whole body shouted to run to him, hug him, and welcome him back like she’d often done at home. With Amelia watching and believing she was going to marry her beloved cousin, she had to play things cool.

  And when Amelia mentioned the wedding, Cyrus looked completely disgusted. Her plan was not going the way she’d hoped it would. She never considered further than the little fun it would be and the object of assisting Jack. She hadn’t been sure of what Cyrus would think, but she knew if she could explain it to him, he wouldn’t judge her or think she was falling for the guy. But he’d left too quickly.

  If she’d been at Nellie’s near her stables, she would have gone out to get one of the horses and gone after him to get him to listen to her. While she was technically the fiancée of the lord of the house, she was still a guest here and would never be able to convince the stable hands to let her take a horse. Especially alone.

  She grumbled under her breath about the injustice of being a woman in this time. She didn’t want to go into the breakfast room and pretend to be fine, so she stayed in the guest parlor. Hopefully, Amelia and her maid would leave her be for a while.

  ***

  Cyrus once again stared at the huge building. He still sat on top of the horse and ran through the different excuses he might use to explain why he was back so soon. Before he could come up with something, the front door opened. Kaitlyn stepped outside with a smile on her face.

  She was happy to see him. But why? He’d left so rudely. She should have been out there giving him a dirty glare. As she moved down the stairs, keeping her eyes on him, he found himself moving forward on the horse. When she reached the center of the rounded path where carriages delivered their guests, she stopped and watched him approach.

  They spoke no words, but her eyes were wide and full of what he thought was hope. Did she just hope they could still be friends? That he would accept her choice and wish her well?

  If that was what she really wanted, then he would do it. For her, he would do anything. If it would give her peace in her choice, he’d cut out his own heart. If there was any way he could convince her to change her mind, he would. When he thought he might lose her to not just another man, but to another time, his soul felt crushed.

  He slowed and finally came to a stop a few feet away from her. He slowly alighted from the animal’s back, taking a tentative step toward her. She smiled at him. The fear and ice in his heart melted a little, but he held onto it, not ready to let it shatter completely.

  “I’m glad you came back,” Kaitlyn said. “I need to explain.”

  Cyrus reached for her hand and she placed hers inside his. “You don’t owe me an explanation. You are free to choose what is best for you. I…” He couldn’t go on. He didn’t want to tell her it was okay. And he was too afraid to hear it from her own mouth that she had fallen for Sir Hughes.

  “This whole experience has been so crazy and hard to believe,” Kaitlyn said. “I was having so much fun. And it was all a game for so long. But then you left. Cora has been gone the whole time. Jem and Reese are in their own world as they try to figure out where their relationship is going. I had no one to talk to about my decision before I just blurted it out.”

  “I’m sorry I left,” Cyrus said. “I thought traveling with William would be a good thing. It would let me see how different things are now, and help clear my mind.” He looked at her. Kaitlyn’s eyes widened. “But then you were so interested and involved with Jack. I didn’t want to stand in your way. If you think he’s the best thing for you, then maybe… He could give you everything you ever needed here. Our own time has so much to offer as well. Are you sure you want to stay here?”

  Kaitlyn’s sweet smile seemed to hide a little secret. She reached out with her other hand and clasped it between hers. “What are you trying to say, Cyrus?”

  “It’s just that…” He paused, trying to find the best way to explain his thoughts and emotions. “I know this world is important to you. You know so much about this place, and you would easily fit in, but this isn’t your time. There is so much you could do back home. Not just the modern conveniences. You have family there, and you have a job you love. Your dad will need you to take over for his vet soon, and think of your mother. And Jem.”

  “I have thought of them. I’ve even talked this over with Jem. He’s in complete understanding of my choice and actions. So if you are only telling me you don’t want me to stay here and marry Jack because my family wouldn’t want that, then I don’t see why you’re worried.” Her words weren’t mean or angry, but he felt like he was losing the battle. Her gaze bore deeply into his. He knew he would have to beg.

  “Kaitlyn.” He let go of the horse’s reigns and took both her hands. “I probably lost my chance, and I know I don’t deserve it, but I was hoping you might reconsider.” He looked down at their joined hands, afraid to see the rejection in her eyes. “I don’t know when exactly it started, probably during all those visits between semesters when I’d see you, but over the last month here, I’ve come to realize something. I can’t see my life without you in it.”

  She took one hand and reached up to his face, lifting his chin so he’d look at her. “Cyrus, what are you saying?”

  “I’ve fallen in love with you. Your kindness, your open heart, your beauty and spunk and personality. You are everything to me. I acted like a hurt child and ran away to pout when you started showing an interest in Jack. I never thought you might choose this life over your own. Is there any way you might change your mind?”

  Kaitlyn reached for him and pulled him into a hug. At first, he thought it was a hug of comfort and apology, but instead, she held him close and clung to him. A fire lit
inside his heart. He held her tight, pressing his hands against her back.

  “Cyrus,” she whispered in his ears. “I’m not really engaged. I’m not going to actually marry him. This is to help him get his family off his back and let him have time to make other arrangements.” She pulled back, but he didn’t want to let her go. She pushed against him just a little. “And as much as I would love to kiss you right now, I do have to pretend I’m in love with another man and that you are just my cousin come to visit.”

  He let her go, but kept her hands in his. “You really aren’t going to marry him?”

  “He would be able to give me a lot. But I don’t think I could actually forgo hot showers and indoor plumbing forever.”

  Cyrus laughed in relief. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her fingers. “Can it really be true?”

  “Of course. Hot showers are so important to me.” Her eyes sparkled with mirth, and he laughed.

  “Oh, Kaitlyn. I thought I had lost you. I can’t describe how relieved I am.”

  Kaitlyn looked up at him. “What do you want for us?”

  “Everything,” Cyrus said. “The house, the dog, the cat, the horses, the kids, the whole package.”

  “So then ask, silly man.”

  “Kaitlyn Taylor, I know you have already entered into an engagement with another man, but can I ask you to kick him to the fancy curb here and accept my hand instead?” He kissed her hand once more, wishing he could kiss her lips instead, but afraid of what might be said about her if someone was to see from the window or the stables in this constantly moving environment. “Will you marry me instead?”

  “Absolutely.” Kaitlyn squeezed his hand, then leaned up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. The closest they could come for now until they could find a more private location. The sweet torture would kill him. She stepped back and let go of his hands. Cyrus reached for the horse’s reigns to keep his hands from wandering where they shouldn’t. “Would you like to come in for breakfast?” She chuckled. “It’s probably closer to lunch.”