A PERFECT FIT

by Megan Hart

  "What kind of show?" Audrey closed the book and leaned back in her chair to sip her tea.

  "All male revue."

  "Oh, Karen." Audrey laughed. "Good Lord."

  "It'll be fun," Karen said. "C'mon. It'll be a blast."

  "Is this like...Chippendales? Or what?" Audrey tried to think of the last time she'd been out anywhere, much less at a nudie show. "Do they get completely naked?"

  "I don't know," Karen said with a little squeal. "But apparently they do this once a month, and it's always themed. This month it's Cinco de Mayo. Latin lovers. That sort of thing."

  "Muy Caliente," Audrey murmured with a shake of her head. "What should I wear?"

  "Nothing that has be dry-cleaned," was Karen's advice before she hung up.

  * * * *

  "Hey," Karen said. "Great jeans! Are they new?"

  Audrey looked down at the faded blue denim. "No. Old, actually. I just haven't worn them in a long time. But you said nothing that had to be dry cleaned..."

  They both laughed as they entered the club. The last time Audrey had been to the Chili Pepper, it had been called Spanky's Sports Bar. Now it featured a Latin decorating scheme, including drinks with names like "Red Hot Mama" and "Chili Chiller."

  "Muy Caliente!" cried Karen as they entered.

  The music's heavy, thumping beat reverberated in the pit of Audrey's stomach. "I should've brought ear plugs!"

  "Hello, ladies." The smiling young man who greeted them carried a handful of plastic necklaces with blinking chili pepper pendants. "Are you here for Muy Caliente?"

  "Hell, yeah!" Karen shook her ass. "We're ready."

  The host smiled. "Right this way."

  Audrey shared a look with her friend as he led them through the main bar section and down a short flight of stairs to another, much smaller room with black-painted walls and blue lighting.

  "Omigod," said Karen, "there's a pole!"

  "Have a seat," offered their host. "The show will start soon."

  Karen gripped Audrey's arm in a death grip. "Omigod, omigod...!"

  "Karen! You're the one who wanted to come here!" Audrey laughed and headed for a small couch toward the back of the room. "C'mon, it'll be fun. That's what you said. Right? Are you nervous?"

  They sat. Karen refused to let go of Audrey's arm. "Omigod. Look at this place!"

  Audrey looked the room over. Mirrors on the walls and ceiling, blue neon lighting, a nice, shiny pole on a platform in the middle of the floor. Yep. It looked like a nudie bar, all right. Not that she'd ever been in one before. "This is some set up. You say they do this every month? What do they do with the space the rest of the time?"

  "Private parties," said a low, rumbling voice, and Audrey looked up at the young man standing in front of them. "Hi. I'm Vance."

  "Hi, Vance. I'm Audrey. This is Karen." Audrey nudged Karen, who seemed incapable of speech. "How are you?"

  Vance, clearly used to shy and wilting flowers, looked at Karen with a gleam in his eyes. "Great. You ladies up for some fun?"

  "We sure are," said Audrey firmly.

  "Good," said Vance. "We've got five guys here tonight. Any preference for music?"

  Karen, apparently, had been struck dumb. "Whatever works," Audrey said generously, having no idea what sort of music would be good for men to strip to.

  "Great!" If nothing else, Vance seemed full of enthusiasm. "Give us a couple minutes to get ready, okay?"

  As the waitress carrying a small tray and rack of shooters headed toward them, Vance added, "Oh, and by the way, because state law says that if we serve alcohol we can't be completely naked, we'll have to leave our g-strings on. Hope that'll be okay."

  Karen whimpered.

  Audrey smiled. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

  "Great!" Vance nodded and disappeared into a back room.

  "Omigod," Karen muttered.

  "Karen!" Audrey shook her. "C'mon, we're here to have a good time, remember? It'll be fine! What are you worried about?"

  "Can I get you ladies a drink from the bar?" The chipper waitress smiled. "I also make change, if you need some dollar bills."

  "Dollar bills!" Karen squeaked, falling back onto the couch in a paroxysm of trembling something-or-other. Audrey couldn't figure out if it was agony or ecstasy.

  "I'll take twenty," Audrey said, laughing at her friend. "That should be enough, right?"

  "For the first fifteen minutes." The waitress took the twenty-dollar bill and gave Audrey a handful of ones with a grin. "These guys are hot with two t's."

  Karen fanned her face and handed over a twenty, too. "I'd better get mine then."

  "Is it usually this crowded?" Audrey looked around as another group of ladies, giggling, followed the host with the blinking necklaces, and took seats at a table on the other side of the room.

  The waitress nodded. "This place gets crazy on Muy Caliente night, let me tell you. Our boys really know how to show the ladies a good time, too. You'll see."

  Karen hooted and clapped her hands.

  "We'll take two shooters to start," Audrey said. "My treat."

  Karen let out another hysterical giggle. "Omigod!"

  "You let me know if you need anything else," the waitress said, and Audrey assured her they would.

  "I don't understand you, Karen." Audrey drank her shooter. "You're usually the one leading the pack."

  "I'm all talk," Karen admitted and tossed back her shooter with a grimace. "Not like you, Audrey."

  "What's that supposed to mean?" Audrey turned toward her friend, surprised.

  "Oh, you know, you're so good with guys. How to talk to them and stuff."

  "Believe me, Karen, I'm not that good at it. You're the one who's had all the dates. Not me."

  Karen rolled her eyes. "You could have dates, if you wanted them."

  Audrey didn't have time to answer because the curtain hiding the doorway to the back room shook. Three young men, casually dressed like they were just out for a night on the town appeared and split up, working the room's other tables. Audrey could hear them giving the same sort of rap Vance had given her and Karen.

  "Wow. I was expecting...you know, construction workers and cops," said Karen. She watched the boys across the room. "A show! An act!"

  "Maybe they'll do that, too," Audrey assured her with a pat on the hand. "We'll see."

  Karen giggled again. "Omigod...they're so cute!"

  They were cute, too. Young and cute. "I feel like a perv," Audrey murmured, watching the boys charm the group of ladies across the way. "They can't be more than twenty-one."

  More women filed in, and music began pumping from the loudspeakers. Audrey didn't know the song, but then she hadn't been out to a club in number of years. She listened to the racy lyrics with some surprise, then a giggle. So that was the sort of song men took off their clothes to.

  "Oooh, I love this song!" The shooter seemed to have loosened Karen up a little bit because she started dancing in her chair.

  When the waitress came back around, they ordered a couple more drinks, and Audrey sat back against the couch, watching as the show began. Vance introduced himself and the other three guys, Armando, Brick and Julian.

  "Think those are their real names?" Karen asked as the four young men gyrated.

  "Heck, no!" Audrey watched them work the crowd and head in their direction. "But who would you rather flirt with--an Armando or a Harold?"

  "Good point," Karen said, and then her attention was taken up by dark-haired Brick, who had his eyebrow pierced and wore a braided leather choker.

  Armando had set his sights on Audrey, and she sat back and prepared to enjoy the display. She'd seen male revues before, and Karen was right. They were usually stereotypical fantasy cops or construction workers, who did some sort of cheesy dance routine to predictable dance tunes. Not these boys. They shimmied and strutted to the bass-heavy tune as they stripped out of their clothes to the whoops and hollers of the now-packed room.

  "Omigod!" Karen wriggled be
side now-giggling Audrey.

  This was fun. She whooped, too, when Julian strutted over with a grin on his face. He dropped in front of her in a truly impressive move, doing a set of one-handed pushups that emphasized the muscles in his toned back. When he got to his feet, Audrey clapped and waved a dollar bill.

  Julian leaned over and said into her ear, "You get to put it in my pants."

  She felt a bit ridiculous, but she did it anyway, tucking the bill into the waistband of his low-slung jeans.

  "Thanks, doll," he said with a saucy wink, and began grooving in front of Karen.

  "I thought Vance said there were going to be five guys," Karen shouted over the music as Julian and Brick took turns doing truly impressive gymnastic feats on the silver pole and Armando and Vance danced around the tables.

  "What, these four aren't enough for you?" Audrey hollered back. She sipped her margarita, enjoying the play of light on toned, tanned bodies. By this time, the men in the center of the room had stripped down to boxer briefs.

  "Omigod," said Karen. "Would you look at them? How do they do that?"

  Brick had grabbed the pole, leaped into the air and held his entire body out straight, like a flag.

  "Maybe they're gymnasts." Audrey clapped and whistled. "Wow!"

  Some women there sat and watched without doing anything, not even when the dancers wriggled and writhed in front of them. Audrey didn't get it. If someone was willing to strip off his clothes in front of her for a dollar bill, she was going to do her best to make sure she was appreciative.

  "Having fun, ladies?" Vance, bare chest shining with sweat and the glitter he'd just shaken all over himself to cheers from most of the crowd, sat in the chair next to Audrey.

  "Yes." She smiled. "But I have to ask--are you?"

  Vance grinned, looking around. "Hey, where else could I get paid to dance and drink all night with ladies screaming and hollering?"

  His honest answer made her laugh. "True."

  He looked her over with frank appreciation in his eyes. "We like it when the women have a good time, you know?"

  She tucked a couple of bills into the waistband of his boxers and he thanked her, moving on to Karen, who at least seemed to have gotten over her initial anxiety and was rubbing her hands all over Vance's glittery chest.

  "Sparkles," Karen said when he'd moved on to seduce the next group of women out of their dollars. She held up her hands, which gleamed in the blue lighting. "From his body! Whee!"

  Audrey laughed, her equilibrium returning. They were here to have fun, and she was. It was all a game. Cute boys shaking their asses in front of screaming women in order to earn a couple hundred bucks. She was glad she could relax and enjoy it.

  "Hey, looks like the last one showed up!" Karen nudged Audrey and pointed. "Oooh, he's a hottie!"

  "They're all--" She stopped at the sight of the fifth young man, who'd just come out of the back room.

  It was Joel.

  "Oh, mama," Karen said. "Catholic schoolboy."

  Audrey was pretty sure Joel wasn't Catholic, but the schoolboy description was dead on. He wore dark trousers and a button-down oxford shirt with a tie. His dark hair had been slicked back beneath a ball cap. He looked utterly forbidden, which made it all the more delicious. He swaggered around the room greeting the women, while his cohorts contorted themselves on and off the pole.

  Should she go before he made his way to where she sat? Joel was between her and the exit. He'd see her leaving. Should she hide in the bathroom?

  "Where are you going?" Karen's question made her realize she'd already gotten to her feet.

  The music ebbed and flowed, inviting hips to wiggle and pelvises to thrust. The boys in the middle of the stage traded out with the two who'd been working the room. Joel, perhaps because he'd arrived late, didn't go to the center and start taking off his clothes, but Audrey knew it would only be a matter of minutes before he took his turn. She had to get out of here before then. How embarrassing! Joel was her classmate, a friend, her study buddy...

  And he was standing right in front of her. She looked up, with what she knew had to be an idiotic smile pasted on her face. Joel was grinning, too. He didn't look embarrassed, but then he probably dealt with shell-shocked women on a regular basis.

  "Woo-hoo!" Karen, apparently, had dispensed with the last of her anxiety and was now waving a handful of dollar bills at him.

  Joel looked into Audrey's eyes, the neon lighting making the dark depths of his gaze impenetrable. Then he grinned, his teeth flashing supernaturally white, and turned his attention to Karen. Vance, however, had already insinuated himself into Karen's lap and was dry-humping her while she giggled hysterically and shoved dollars into the back of his g-string.

  The song changed from a harsh rap song to a smoother, sexier dance tune. A fucksong, they'd called it in college. Slow, sensual, with lyrics to match. Audrey leaned against the back of the loveseat. Joel, body moving slightly to the beat, looked at her again, and she thought for sure he was going to move away. She hoped he would. She hoped he wouldn't.

  He didn't.

  He grinned, cocky, then flipped around and settled his ass on her lap. He wiggled to the music, looking over his shoulder at her with a wink that set her laughing. He turned again, took her hand, tugged her to her feet and into his arms. He began moving her to the music, his hands on her hips, but moving a little lower with every second.

  "What are you doing here?" she asked, finally, awkward about where to put her hands and finally resting them on his shoulders in a parody of junior high dances.

  "Working," he told her, snugging her up tighter against him, his thigh between hers.

  Audrey let out a little yelp, embarrassed, and tried to pull away, but Joel held her fast. "I thought you worked at the retirement home."

  "I do." Joel moved them in time to the song, bumping and grinding. "Shut up now, though, because you're ruining my mojo."

  "Your mojo, huh?"

  He nodded and dipped her to the appreciative and perhaps envious cries of the watching women. His nose slid along the line of her throat, his breath hot on the exposed skin before he moved them both upright again and grabbed her ass with both hands.

  He'd been flirting with her since the first time they'd met. Over time it had translated into a friendship comfortable enough to allow the occasional hug, a squeeze of the shoulder, playful nudges. This, however, was something else entirely, and looking into Joel's eyes Audrey knew they both knew it.

  He turned her so her back was against his chest and moved his hands around the front of her, linking his fingers through hers. The music rocked them as he tucked his chin against her shoulder, his cheek pressing her jaw. Heat filled her and she closed her eyes for a moment against the rush of alcohol and music and his scent, against the feeling of him pressed along her body, their hands linked tight in a gesture more intimate than if he'd put his tongue in her mouth.

  Joel smoothed their linked hands up and down her thighs, over her belly and down again. When was the last time someone had touched her this way, with such intimacy and sensuality? A long, long time, and it was too tempting to refuse it. Tempting and yet safe, for this was Joel, her friend, not a stranger, and he was playing a role. Doing a job. It was okay for him to nuzzle the side of her neck and turn her to face him, to put her hands on his ass and pull their bodies close together so she could feel every line and muscle of his body along hers. It was flirting kicked up a notch, that's all. A dance for a dollar, a bump for a buck.

  A quick glance told her the other dancers had chosen partners, too. Karen was shimmying with Vance in front of her and Armando in the back, both men bumping and grinding her in a way that managed to be sexy and non-threatening at the same time. Karen seemed to be enjoying it anyway, shaking her groove thang like a champ, face alight with laughter.

  Audrey looked down at her fingers, linked with Joel's on her thighs. He moved their hands up and down along the soft, faded fabric of her jeans, her favorite pair. Sh
e'd searched forever for those jeans, the ones that made her feel sexy and confident, made her butt look good and never pinched. A perfect fit. Yet she hadn't worn them in months and months, even though they'd been right there in her closet all this time. She'd just been ignoring them.

  The way she'd been pretending not to notice Joel?

  It was impossible not to notice him now, not with his breath hot on the side of her face as he moved them to the music, but before she had time to react, the song ended. He turned her and led her gently back to her seat, easing her into it, holding both her hands and leaned over her.

  It was the same move the other boys had, putting a hand on the back of the couch by her head and sliding up her body with his until he reached her ear with his mouth. The other dancers had usually mouthed the song lyrics, or just panted, but Joel surprised her.

  "You look beautiful," he told her, and she turned her head to look at his face, a mere inch from hers. Kissing distance.

  The moment seemed to call for something, but Audrey faltered. "That's sure worth a dollar," she quipped, and stuffed one in his shirt pocket.

  Something flickered in his eyes, or perhaps it was the shifting light as the music changed once again, became faster. It passed in a moment, replaced by his broad grin. Then he gave her neck so swift a nuzzle she was convinced she'd imagined it, and he pushed away from her and took his turn in the center of the room.

  That boy could dance. He moved like he was making love to the world, stripping off his tie, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off his broad shoulders, undoing his belt and easing open the button and zip on his trousers. He teased. He flirted. He worked the room like he owned it, Audrey included, and the women in there ate it up like ice cream on a spoon.

  The song slid into another without a break and Joel, clad in tight black boxer briefs, made his way around the room accepting admiration and compensation from the crowd.

  It was her chance to escape before he came back around, and she leaned over to Karen. "I'm going to head out."

  "What?" Karen looked dismayed. "Nooooooo!"

  Audrey shot a glance toward Joel, now bouncing on another woman's lap, and knew she couldn't afford to still be here the next time he made it around to her. "I have a lot of studying to do tomorrow."