Fool for Love (Believe #2)

by Karen Ferry

  She lifts a hand at me. “Stop right there. I’m not going to listen to this. I’ll be late for work.”

  The tremble in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed, and I hesitate as I try to gauge her mood.

  “You’re not afraid of me, are you?” I ask. For the first time in a long while, I wonder if my judgment is wrong.

  She blinks, and her eyes soften a bit, replacing the anger for a moment.

  “No, of course not. I know you’ll never hurt me.”

  I nod once. “Good. Now, as I was saying –”

  “I told you, we have nothing to talk about.”

  “My dick says otherwise,” I grumble, taking one more step closer.

  “Well, your dick can go to hell!” she sputters and retreats from me. My eyes zero in on the way she clutches the towel covering her up, and my dick throbs painfully in response.

  Smiling slowly, I move closer. Now that my mind is made up, I’m not going to let her get away from me.

  “Been to hell already, waif, and it’s not a nice place to be. But for a taste of you, I’d gladly remain there forever.”

  She huffs and jumps when her back touches the cool tiles behind her. She frowns slightly, but I can hear her rapid breathing, and the way her eyes peruse my body lets me know that she isn’t unaffected by my advances.

  “Garrett…You’re so confusing. I don’t know you, and I don’t want to get tangled up in anything with you while I’m here.” Her voice drips with regret, hitting me in my gut. For the millionth time since I met her, I contemplate if I should relent.

  But I can’t.

  I brace an arm above her head and bend down to breathe her in. The curve of her neck is fascinating to me. So feminine. So tantalising. So mouth-watering. I need a taste.

  “Waif, remember what I said back there on the couch? You won’t get more than physical pleasure from me. I don’t work any other way. But…” I hesitate and finally give in to my desire to taste her, my mouth descending on her skin. She gives a soft moan, and I press my hips into her stomach, letting her feel the evidence of my arousal.

  “But,” I murmur, as I trail open-mouthed kisses up and down her neck, “why don’t you let yourself live a little, Suzy? Why not use me the remainder of your stay? Why not give in to what I know your body is telling me right now?”

  I lift my head and stand tall again, towering over her. If she says ‘no’ one more time, I’ll let her be. I’m not that cruel.

  She licks her lips, and I can’t suppress the groan rumbling up from my chest.

  “I…I’m not sure I can do that,” she whispers. Her arms fall to my hips, and the towel covering her breasts slips down slightly, causing my breath to hitch.

  “Why not?” I ask her, purposely trying to soften the harshness in my voice that’s always present.

  “Because…because deep down, I want the fairy-tale instead of a random hook-up. I want to be loved,” she whispers, knocking me off-kilter.

  I frown and breathe deeply. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is to respect a woman’s wishes – even if they cause me pain like Suzy’s words just did. It doesn’t matter what I think her eyes are telling me. No still means no.

  With regret, I step away from her, and she lets me go.

  “Then I’m sorry, Suzy. Really. I’m unable to love,” I say. The sadness in her eyes comes close to unmanning me completely.

  “I won’t bring up the subject again,” I vow. I know she can hear the finality of my promise when she nods at me.

  Taking one last long look at her, I smile gently.

  “You deserve love, Suzy-Q. I’m sorry I can’t give that to you,” I whisper. Without giving her the chance to say more words that will no doubt cause me further pain, I turn away and shut the door quietly behind me.

  I need to get away before I break my recent promise.

  Before the tight leash on my control snaps for good.

  I NEED TO GET out of this apartment. It’s Thursday night, and my next shift at The Vault isn’t until tomorrow.

  It’s been weird living with Garrett the past couple of days. I’ve hardly seen him, because ever since his proposition, and subsequent promise to let me be, he’s been so quick to leave the apartment every morning, hardly glancing in my direction.

  I’m reading the newspaper and nursing a cup of coffee when I hear a ping from my phone next to me. When I check the screen and see that it’s from Morgan, I hesitate to read it. I miss my friend, but I can’t keep doing this to her. I don’t want her to think that I’m toying with her feelings.

  My curiosity is piqued, however, so I swipe the screen to read it.

  Morgan: Hey, girl, you want to go dancing tonight?

  A rush of excitement fills me even though I’m still apprehensive. I love to dance, and it’s been too long since I’ve been out, just having fun, laughing and forgetting my troubles.

  I quickly text her back.

  Me: I was just thinking about how I need to go out and let my down hair. Where and when?

  I finish my coffee and leave my seat at the bar. I need to find an outfit for tonight. I read Morgan’s next text as I’m walking to my closet.

  Morgan: Fabulous! Meet me at my place around ten? Then we’ll take a cab to Synergy.

  I frown. There’s always such a long line at this club.

  Me: Don’t you think it’ll take forever for us to get in?

  As I wait for Morgan’s reply, I look at all my dresses hanging in the closet. If we’re going to this place, I need to look my very best.

  Another ping sounds from the phone in my hand, and I swipe the screen to read it.

  Morgan: You should know by now that I have a lot of connections. I’ll get us in.

  Me: Alright, sounds good. I’ll see you later. xoxo

  Morgan: I’ll see if Safiro wants to join us, too. Can’t wait! xoxo

  With renewed energy, I set about finding out what to wear. Even though there are still hours yet until I’m meeting up with my friends, I have a lot of primping and styling before then.

  A night out is just what I need to take my mind off Garrett.

  I hope.

  I don’t know how Morgan managed to get us in ahead of the longest line I’ve ever seen, but she just went right up to the doorman at Synergy and worked her magic. When she reached him, he kissed her cheek, and then we were inside.

  It’s so strange – I know her in such an intimate way, but as we sit here at the bar, Safiro regaling us with plenty of details of his latest sexathon with Dex, I realise that there are so many things about her that she’s never told me.

  “So, chica, what’s up with your hunky landlord?” Safiro interrupts my musings. The music in the club is booming, so I have to lean forward in my seat so he can hear my answer.

  “Nothing,” I shout. “He’s so weird.”

  Safiro laughs and takes a sip from his martini.

  “So you haven’t jumped his bones yet?”

  “Hey!” I laugh at him, rolling my eyes. “No, I haven’t. I don’t want to be a notch on his bedpost, darling. I want to find love, not lust alone.”

  I shrug and fiddle with my silver dream catcher earring that was a gift from Emma. They match my silver dress perfectly.

  He gapes at me.

  “Listen, girl, I hear you and understand what you're saying,” Safiro goes on and takes my hand in his, stopping my fidgeting. “But why can’t you just enjoy him and then look for your Prince – or Princess – while you’re getting regularly banged?”

  I snort and tug my hand free, taking my drink from the bar.

  “I’m not cut out for that kind of thing. You know that.”

  I glance in Morgan’s direction, a bit nervous that she’s heard our conversation. Relief fills me when I find her chatting with the girl tending the bar, and I look back at Safiro.

  “You’re the same as me, Safiro. You get that, don’t you?”

  He nods slowly, his eyes caught by something behind me.

 
; “Yeah. I guess I do.” He looks back at me, and I frown when his smile turns devious.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask him, suspicious. I put down my drink slowly, careful not to spill anything on my dress.

  “Because, girl, the hunk in question has just entered the club, and he’s looking right at you.”

  What?!

  I turn around and look behind me, and sure enough, there he is, brooding scowl in place. My belly dips when I notice that he’s wearing a tight, black t-shirt that hugs every hard plane of his chest. My eyes trail down his body, taking in his black jeans and boots, and I lick my lips.

  “Damn,” Safiro mutters in my ear. “He really is positively sinful, isn’t he?”

  I nod, struck mute, when I watch Garrett walking towards us. His hair hangs down his back, and my fingers itch to touch it.

  “Why are you here?” I ask him when he stops in front of me.

  He grimaces.

  “I’m here with some friends from the restaurant,” he mutters and jerks his head. I look at the line of black leather couches opposite the bar, and take in the five men sending curious stares in my direction. Straightening in my seat, I turn my eyes back to Garrett.

  “Well, then I hope you enjoy your night.”

  He nods. “You, too.”

  I turn away from him but am stopped when he puts a hand on my waist. I glance back, my lips parting as he leans into me. I look into his eyes and gasp when I see the desire in them.

  “Is your answer still ‘no’?” There’s no emotion in his deep voice, nothing that can tell me how affected he truly is. His hand on my body tightens when I don’t answer right away, and I have to admire his ability to keep his thoughts hidden from me.

  I shiver, my resolve weakening, but I nod.

  “It’s a shame,” he murmurs, his head shifting so his mouth is next to my ear. My skin breaks out in goose bumps from the feel of his warm breath, and I tense.

  “Have you forgotten your promise to me already?” I ask him, trying to keep my voice hard and strong.

  He chuckles darkly.

  “No. I haven’t. I won’t break it, waif, but you’re making it fucking hard to keep away from you. All that creamy, soft skin on display right now…” He sighs, his lips resting a couple of seconds at my temple before his head descends again. “What I wouldn’t give to hear you scream my name as you come on my mouth,” he groans.

  My breaths are heavy, needy, and I feel a low, warm throb in my pussy.

  “But I’ll wait until you come to me, waif. Until you’re ready.”

  With those parting words, he releases me and steps away from me.

  “Enjoy your night,” he says, glancing at Safiro before he walks away. I look back at my friend who’s busy ogling Garrett’s arse and then shake my head slowly.

  “Oh…my…god!” Safiro fans a hand in front of his face. “The testosterone level just went through the roof!”

  I take my drink and gulp it down, needing the alcohol.

  “Suzy, honey, you’re mad for turning him down. If he wasn’t straight, I’d jump him right now.”

  I try to laugh, but then sigh and rest my head on his shoulder.

  Groaning, I try to settle my libido wreaking havoc with my insides. I can feel his hand rubbing my back, and when I’m more calm, I lean away from him.

  “I need another drink,” I mutter and look for the bartender. Morgan’s eyes meet me instead, and I can’t quite read the expression in them. There’s no judgment, no anger – but they’re blank, and I hate it.

  Safiro takes my hand resting on the bar, and I turn my attention back to him.

  “Next round’s on me,” he says, smiling at me, and I nod gratefully at him.

  “Thanks.”

  “Anything for you, chica.”

  He kisses my hand before he turns to the bartender now standing in front of us. As he orders our drinks, I chance a glance back in the direction Garrett went. He’s sitting next to a guy who seems to be rather agitated, drinking a beer, and I’m grateful Garrett hasn’t noticed that I can’t keep my eyes from him when he’s near.

  Damn the man.

  Letting out a long breath, I turn back to my friends and try to enjoy the rest of the night. But I’m not having fun anymore. All I can think about is Garrett and his promises of pleasure, and if I’m a fool for turning him down again.

  But even fools deserve love more than lust.

  “Who was that?” Carlos asks me.

  I shrug and take a large gulp of my beer, wishing I was home and away from the pumping beat of the music in the club. It’s causing the headache that started earlier in the night to worsen, and I need sleep.

  “My roommate,” I answer, trying to keep my voice light.

  He looks away from me and I lean back on the couch, crossing my ankles. I have a perfect view to Suzy and her friends, and I notice Morgan staring hard at me before she gets up from her seat to stand next to Suzy, blocking my view.

  I grit my teeth, annoyed by her trying to stake her claim.

  “Remind me again why you aren’t tapping that hot piece of ass?”

  I fist my hand resting on my knee at his question.

  “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but she turned me down.”

  His head snaps back to me.

  “She did what? That’s gotta be a first, man.”

  Bristling, I shake my head at him as I meet his surprised eyes.

  “So?” he continues, shifting on the couch to face me.

  “So…what?” I take another sip of my beer as I scan the club.

  “So are you going to The Vault later?”

  Carlos isn’t a Dom, but we’ve been friends for a long time. He knows I need to lose myself in a willing woman’s arms, and to be a certain way with her, in order to cope with my guilt. Besides Colin, he’s probably the closest friend I’ve ever had, and I don’t keep secrets from him.

  Well. Only one.

  I shrug again. “Not in the mood for it, no.”

  He stops me from taking another drink, resting a hand on my wrist, and I narrow my eyes at him.

  “What?” I snap.

  “You’re telling me that that girl has you wrapped around her little finger already, Garrett? Since when have you not been in the mood for a good fuck?”

  I wrench my arm free.

  “Again, it’s not your fucking business,” I growl. Tension coils in my stomach when he takes another look at Suzy. I follow his line of sight, my gut clenching when I find her laughing, head thrown back, and her eyes closed. The guy sitting next to her notices me staring and raises his martini, blowing me a kiss.

  For some inane reason, I want to laugh. But I also feel a little less uneasy by the fact that he’s clearly gay – at least I know that he’s not out to seduce my waif.

  Wait. My waif?

  “Fuck,” I mutter.

  “What now?” Carlos asks me as I abruptly stand up. I need to get out of here.

  “Nothing,” I tell him and finish my beer. I put the empty bottle on the table and look down at him. “I have a headache, so I’m going home.”

  He stands up and my annoyance at him meddling in my affairs fades when I see the concern in his eyes.

  “Relax, I’m going straight home. You don’t have to worry that I’m going to find a dealer around the corner and get high instead.”

  He grimaces and I reach out my hand for him to shake.

  “Sorry,” he apologises. “I didn’t mean – ”

  “I know you didn’t,” I interrupt him and release his hand. I rub my eyes, the headache pounding in my skull, and sigh. “I just need sleep. I haven’t really been sleeping well since I got back.”

  I look at him briefly, embarrassed to admit my weakness.

  “Well, I guess that’s understandable,” he says. “See you tomorrow, Chef.”

  I grimace at the formal title, but decide to let it go. Despite the long years we’ve been friends, he still calls me that sometim
es. I give the rest of my staff sitting at the table a chin lift in goodbye and then walk away.

  But I can’t resist looking one last time at Suzy. As if she can feel my stare, her head lifts, and it feels as if I’ve been hit with a fist straight to my gut when I see the yearning in her eyes. I stop, balling my hands, but resist the urge to go to her again.

  If she changes her mind about my offer, she’ll have to come to me this time.

  ANOTHER WEEK HAS GONE by, and I’ve hardly seen Garrett. The ferocious glint in his eyes when he looked at me when he left the club haunts me most days as well as long into the night. He looked so conflicted – probably just like I did. My nerve endings are constantly wired. My hands tremble when I remember his hand on my waist and the way his breath fanned my skin, and it feels as if my body is about to erupt in fire. While I know it was right to turn him down, the yearning to give in to his desire – one that mirrors my own – has left me entirely fuddled in my head.

  His advances came as a complete surprise to me. It almost felt painful to refuse him, but what else can I do? Getting involved with him without falling for him will be impossible. I know this because that is what I usually do. I always fall for the wrong men – and the same could be said for women. But at least I’m grateful that he told me what he had in mind; I respect his honesty even if I don’t appreciate it at the same time.

  Sighing, I turn to the bathroom mirror and put a pair of elegant crystal studs in my ears. Subtle, yet classy. According to my boss, Rowan, this is to be my mantra as I work at The Vault for the next couple of months. The smokey eyes and the thick coat of mascara fit the image while my attire doesn’t. The black corset that was given to me is beautiful, and the stunning lace and frills give me a kind of female confidence that I have not felt before.

  I feel like a grown-up.

  Mature. Sexy.

  Like a woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

  A niggling thought occurs to me, calling me a fraud, but I refuse to listen to it tonight. I no longer wish for it to take root or to hold me in its grasp.

  I put my hands on my hips and take a good, long look in the mirror. My breasts are pushed up, but remain hidden from probing eyes. My waist is narrow, my hips a bit wide, but I like it. I look desirable, and I guess that’s what it’s all about at my new job.