by JM Stewart
The driver shut the door, leaving her standing on the sidewalk with a hole in her chest. Why did she feel like she’d lost her best friend? And why was she still so damn tempted to follow him into his limo and take him home?
The limo drove off before she’d taken her next breath, leaving her staring after him. A war waged in her chest. She’d have to head back to the office, pretend her head was in the game for the board meeting this afternoon, when everything inside of her, every fiber of muscle and every cell of blood, begged her to go after him. Sebastian Blake had her caught somewhere between here and eternity, and she had no idea which end was up anymore.
* * *
Christina jolted awake. She stared at the dark ceiling above her, watching the play of shadows for a moment, trying to discern what had woken her. The heater ran, blowing warm air through the house, but otherwise, the night was silent. When pounding came from the front door, she turned her head to look at the clock: 1:02 a.m. blinked back at her in bright red numbers.
When the doorbell rang next, she pried herself out of bed, grabbed her robe off the ottoman at the end, and wrapped the garment around her as she padded to the front door. Unlike Caden and Sebastian, Christina owned a small house. She hated apartment living, wedged in on all sides with neighbors, no privacy, noises at all hours of the night. She’d tried it once right after college, had bought a small condo in Clyde Hill. Within six months, she’d realized it wasn’t for her.
No, she’d wanted a home, like the one in which she’d grown up. Her small house sat in a neighborhood full of families. Exactly why she’d bought the place. Her neighbors were kind people, and the house was her dream. She wanted what the people surrounding her had. A home and a family.
More to the point, they’d all gone to bed by now. The neighborhood quieted down after dark. Who’d show up on her doorstep at one in the morning? Worry etched her mind. It wouldn’t be Caden. If something had happened, he’d have called first. Same with her mother.
The person on the other side pounded again as she undid the locks.
“All right, all right. For crying out loud, I’m…” As she yanked the door open, the rest of her complaint died in her throat. “Sebastian.”
He stood beneath the awning of the front porch in the shirt and slacks he’d worn to the funeral, though he’d lost his jacket and tie. He leaned his hands on the door frame, looking up at the sound of her voice. He didn’t give her time to ask what he was doing there so late. Instead, he frowned and stepped inside. He closed the door behind him, took a moment to latch it, then turned to her. Eyes feral and dark, he backed her against the adjacent wall and set his hands on either side of her head, reminiscent of that morning in his condo.
Her heart caught in her throat. Blood flooded every muscle, and her core throbbed. He was so close his scent invaded her nostrils. His cologne, a clean and masculine scent, mixed with the all-male aroma clinging to him and went to her head in a rush. He’d also been drinking. The aroma of alcohol, scotch if she wasn’t mistaken, wafted over her as his breath puffed against her lips. She chose to focus on that and not the way the wild look in his heavy lidded eyes made her knees tremble. God, he was sexy when he looked at her like that.
She sagged back against the wall. “You’ve been drinking.”
Sebastian’s gaze flicked down her body, and he drew a sharp breath, his nostrils flaring. As he met her gaze again, hunger blazed in his eyes.
“That robe doesn’t cover a damn thing. I can see your every curve.” His hand came up, his thumb boldly sweeping the tip of her left breast. His voice lowered to a husky murmur. “I can see the shape of your nipples through this thing.”
Her nipple tightened in an instant, begging for another stroke of his fingers. She bit the inside of her cheek to stifle a needy gasp and tried one more time to reason with him. “Please tell me you didn’t drive over here, Baz.”
“I’ve had three drinks. Granted, they were doubles, but I’m not drunk. Delightfully fuzzy, maybe, but not drunk. I think today warranted a drink. And, no, I didn’t drive.” One corner of his mouth hitched, and his eyes lit up, playful, childish, and completely Sebastian. “Having more money than God has its perks. I had my driver bring me. The man needs a damn raise for getting out of bed for me at one in the morning.”
Christina drew her brows together and shook her head, forcing her mind to focus. “Why are you here? What on earth couldn’t wait a few hours?”
He leaned into her, resting his forearms on the wall beside her head. Her breath caught. Oh God. He was so close now his hot breath whispered over her cheek. An inch at most separated them, and every inch of her waited on the edge of a precipice for him to make the next move.
“I see you.” The words came as a tender murmur between them. He tucked her hair with the tip of his index finger, letting the digit graze the top of her ear.
Hot little shivers raced along the surface of her skin, from the point of contact outward. Instantly recognizing the line from a movie she knew he’d seen because they’d watched it together, Christina attempted to regain her equilibrium and rolled her eyes. Pushing back was her only saving grace at this point. “That’s a cheesy line, even for you.”
He shook his head, his gaze deadly somber. “No, I mean it. I can’t believe we’ve known each other all this time, and you still haven’t a clue how I feel about you. God, sometimes it consumes me. Some days it’s all I can do to keep busy enough not to think about it. It always manages to surprise me that you don’t seem to see it, because I often feel like I’m made of glass, like you can see right through me.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and a desperate ache settled between her thighs. Oh, she hadn’t anticipated him saying that. It didn’t help that he stroked his finger down her temple, traced the line of her cheek and jaw, the touch soft and tender and leaving goose bumps in its wake. All she could do was remember the in and out of breathing.
“For the record, I was a little surly that morning, because you pushed all my damn buttons and all it did was turn me on. When you get in my face and push back, it always turns me on. It’s why I kissed you. I couldn’t stand it. Except that kiss left me hard enough to hammer nails. Never in a million years did I expect you to kiss me back. When I took my shower, I had a nice orgasm while imagining my cock buried deep inside of you.”
She couldn’t stop her eyes from widening or the soft gasp that left her mouth. In two seconds flat, the image filled her mind. Sebastian naked and wet, his cock in his hand. Did he close his eyes when he came? Did he tremble? Cry out? Or groan softly?
Her breathing ramped up, coming now in shallow, desperate pants. Christ. Every single fantasy she’d ever had starring him flooded her thoughts, and a lethal dose of shock and desire zinged through her system. Her clit throbbed in delicious need.
He grinned, as if he could read her mind. “Yeah. Imagine that. While you made me breakfast, I had my cock in my hand. When I came all over the shower wall, your name left my lips.”
He ground his hips into hers, his cock hard and throbbing against the softness of her stomach. Apparently not done tormenting her, he bent his head and nipped at the curve of her shoulder, his soft, supple lips skimming the side of her neck.
“Shit, Tina. The feel of your soft body against me while I slept that morning was equal parts blessing and torment. Waking in your arms was a fantasy come to life. Turning you down was the single hardest damn thing I’ve ever done.” He stroked the tips of his fingers down the back of her right arm, his voice lowering to an intimate murmur. “I can’t tell you how much it eats me alive to know I hurt you, but, sweetheart, I’m not what you need. You deserve the white picket fence and forever, and I’m not a forever kind of guy. I won’t use you that way.”
Oh God. He had to say it. Sebastian was letting his walls down, letting her in, and her heart melted and ached simultaneously. Hearing those words from his mouth was a double-edged sword. It hurt to hear them and yet her heart glommed onto one point: He
was essentially telling her he saw her. As a woman. As more than Caden’s sister.
How long had she craved to hear him tell her that? That he gave a damn? That he’d admitted it meant he really did have a good heart, that she hadn’t misjudged him, and she appreciated his honesty. But he was right. He had a heart he refused to give to anyone, her included. In the end, hers would get broken when he walked away from her. Which meant she had to be strong now.
Desperate to hold on to what little sanity she had left, she hiked her chin a notch. Sebastian in seduction mode was a powerful force. To be on the receiving end of all that masculine prowess made her dizzy with need. It was all she could do not to wind her arms around his neck and beg him to make love to her, right there against the wall. “Why are you here? Did you really come to my house at one in the morning to tell me that?”
“I came because I’m weak.” He bent his head, skimming his lips up the side of her neck. “I needed you today. You want to know what I see in you? What makes you different from the women I date? What is it you call them? Groupies? Everything about you is soft and feminine. The way you walk, the way you talk. Even shoving your face in mine and poking me in the chest, you’re still soft around the edges. It drives me crazy, because it’s so fucking…”
He shook his head, growling in frustration.
She bit the inside of her cheek, her back stiffening. If he insulted her or told her once again how much she couldn’t have him, she’d clobber him. She really would. “What? Annoying? Irritating?”
His warm breath whispered over her as he brushed the lightest of kisses across her lips. So tender her breath caught in her throat.
“Sexy. Beautiful. Phenomenal. Take your pick. You’re an incredible woman, Tina.” He shook his head, his voice lowering to a murmur between them. “I choose the women I spend time with for a purpose. I prefer the party girls. They serve a need in the moment and don’t expect anything. Go ahead. Ask me why they’re always blondes.”
She pursed her lips and glared at him. All she had left was to hold on to the last bit of her anger. “I have no desire to know, Sebastian.”
He nipped at her bottom lip, ground his hips into her, rubbing his erection into her belly, and groaned.
“The last brunette I tried to make love to, I spent the entire time fantasizing about you. To the point that I couldn’t do it. I sent her home, angry as hell and cussing me a blue streak.” He stroked the shell of her ear, a tender stroke. “Because she wasn’t you.”
Hot little shivers chased each other up and down her spine. Goose bumps prickled her skin, making every hair stand on end. Every nerve ending caught fire, every inch of her alive and throbbing and craving him. His touch. His kiss.
She closed her eyes, shutting out the hunger in his gaze, but couldn’t bring herself to push him back. His touch set a blaze inside of her. No man’s touch had ever been this good, had ever been so…right. God help her, she needed it. She needed him.
She let out a soft, miserable groan on a shuddering breath. The last of her resistance evaporated on a puff of smoke. “Why are you telling me this? I don’t want to know about you and your other women. This is the stuff that kills me, Baz.”
“Because you need to know. Because I give up trying to resist you. I don’t have the strength today. I buried my father this morning. I gave up every damn dream I had to try and be what he wanted me to be, so one day he’d turn to me and tell me how proud he was of me. And he turned his back on me, not once but twice. That bitch gets everything I worked my life for, because she’s got big tits and a tight ass.”
His big, warm hands slid down her sides and over the curve of her hips. He pulled her tight against him, buried his face in her throat, and wrapped his arms around her.
“I need you, Tina. I need your softness. I need your strength. I just…need you. Not anybody. You. Always you. Please don’t make me go home.”
She swallowed past the lump of fear stuck in her throat. God help her heart. He’d done it. He’d said the exact right thing, in a way only he could. Come morning, she’d probably regret sleeping with him, but she didn’t have the strength to deny him. He needed her, and like she needed to draw her next breath, she needed him.
She opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around him, then turned her head and skimmed her lips up the side of his neck. She took a moment to revel in the salt of his skin, the clean scent clinging to him. Then she pulled the collar of his shirt aside and nipped at the fleshy pad of muscle where his neck met his shoulder. He groaned, and her core throbbed in eager anticipation. “Take me to bed, Sebastian.”
Chapter Four
Sebastian let out a low, agonized groan against her throat. His teeth scraped her shoulder, his nose skimming the side of her neck. Shivers ran the length of Christina’s spine as he tightened his arms around her and picked her straight up. Gaze locked on hers and full of a heat that stoked the blaze in her belly, he strode to her bedroom, located at the back of the house. Once inside, he came to a stop at the foot of the bed and set her down, letting her body slide along his.
Christina’s heart hammered in her throat, a yearning, terrified pulse. She didn’t know what to expect from him or this, so she waited, lost in his hypnotic blue eyes. The hunger and desire in them made her tremble. In anticipation. In need.
Finally, he lifted a hand, stroking her skin with the tips of his fingers. First her cheek, then the shell of her ear, the curve of her shoulder, and around the edge of her left breast. With every small, tender touch, her reservations flew the coop and goose bumps popped up along her skin. Sensation flooded to every cell. God, she hadn’t anticipated tenderness. She’d expected sexual prowess. Hot, hard, and fast. Heaven help her, he had her melting to his whim.
When he swiped the pad of his thumb across her tightened nipple, her eyes closed and she dropped her head back. She couldn’t deny it. She was his to do with as he saw fit. Tomorrow, the regret would no doubt hit her. When their relationship changed irrevocably. When he walked away. Now she needed him, needed his touch like she needed to draw her next breath.
While his right hand moved to the tie of her robe, working to undo the knot, his soft lips skimmed the exposed column of her throat. His hot tongue occasionally flicked out to singe her skin. He finally pulled off the sash, letting it drop to the floor, and slid his hand inside. “God, what you do to me.”
The first touch of his warm palm curling around her breast wrenched a gasp from her. Heated shivers chased each other over the surface of her skin. She reached out blindly, fisting handfuls of his shirt in a desperate attempt to stay upright. “Sebastian…”
His thumb flicked her tightened, aching nipple again. Christina couldn’t stop the moan that left her. He’d barely touched her and already she was crumbling. Her fantasies had nothing on the real thing. His hands were smooth and warm, but the tips of his fingers held those wonderful calluses, from years of plucking the strings of his guitar. They added a roughness, a contrast of sensation, that made her shiver. In her fantasies of course, he was always tender and giving, but she hadn’t expected him to be that way in reality. She’d always expected he’d be like most of the men in her life, taking his own need. So it still managed to surprise her when he moved slowly, as if he were every bit as awed by her as she was by him. The knowledge melted her every last resolve. Whatever tomorrow brought, she’d deal with it then.
“I want to touch you everywhere, take my time kissing every inch of your skin. I’ve thought about this moment so many times over the years, when I’d finally have you in my arms. Shit, sweetheart, I’m not sure I have it in me right now to be soft and slow. I need you too much.”
The urgency in his tone made her open her eyes. Those blue eyes blazed at her, full of the same hunger pounding through her. He meant what he said, and it amazed her to see the reflection in his eyes. She’d never expected that he’d ever want her.
As if in some form of confirmation, his arms tightened around her, pulling her flush against
him. His hands slid down her sides to her bottom, anchoring her to him. It didn’t escape her notice that he was trembling right along with her.
“I need you, Tina.” He leaned his forehead against hers, whispering into the space between them, for that moment so vulnerable and open she could only stare in return.
Had he just laid himself at her feet? The hunger in his eyes made her feel so damned powerful. To know she could do to him what he did to her…she hadn’t expected it and the knowledge was intoxicating.
“Tonight I’m yours, Baz.” She leaned forward and nipped at his bottom lip, whispering against his mouth in turn. “Fuck me.”
“Shit…” He let out another agonized groan and pulled her robe open, exposing her shoulder. His teeth closed over the muscle, scraping lightly. “You’re going to make me come right here if you keep talking like that.”
She slid her hands up his chest, delighting in the contour of the muscle before finding the first of the buttons on his shirt. Teasing him was a cruel form of torture, but his reactions were addicting. She wanted to revel in them.
She turned her mouth to his ear and whispered the words again. “Fuck me.”
His head came up, eyes burning. One corner of his mouth hitched. “You have a dirty mouth.”
She stepped back, her hands trembling as she shed her robe. Oh, she’d been naked in front of a man plenty of times, but never with him, and it was a damn nerve-wracking moment. Every limb had to be shaking, and her heart caught in her throat as she held her breath, waiting for his reaction. Sebastian was like discovering a whole new world, one where she’d always assumed she’d never fit in. Out of all the men she’d dated, his opinion mattered.
Sebastian’s smile melted as his gaze slid over her, taking her in. Hunger flared in his eyes. “My God. You are so damn beautiful.”
