Losing Her (The Lexington Series Book 1)

by Belle Winters

  I stayed lying in the snow with my tears until my entire body went numb from the cold. I walked around aimlessly way after it went dark. I had my phone on me but it didn’t ring. Not once. He didn’t care anymore, and I knew this was for the best. When I finally made my way to the cabin it was 11:00 at night. I didn’t go back until I was numb. Not just from the cold, but everything. I didn’t want to feel anymore. I let myself in and went straight to our room. There was no one there, i didn’t care. I saw that all of Landon’s stuff was gone too, and I shrugged. I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into the bed. I didn’t feel like getting pajamas or anything. I got into the bed and went to sleep. I woke up early the next day to a buzzing noise. I looked around and saw that it was Landon’s phone. I ignored it and went back to sleep.

  “Sweet pea” I groaned. I want more sleep leave me alone people.

  “Honey bunches” I pulled a pillow over my head.

  The pillow was torn away from me and there were hands on shoulders. “Up, up, up! We’ve got to go home doll.”

  I groaned. Why me? “Fine” I muttered into the other pillow.

  “You’re not moving, don’t make me move you.”

  I turned over and I felt the blanket move and a gasp. I peeked out of one eye and saw Nick standing over me with his eyes wide.

  I sat up completely and wiped a hand down my face. “Really Nick? We’re leaving now? I can’t get like another 3 hours of sleep?” I asked him.

  He didn’t respond. He was still just staring at me. Then I realized he wasn’t looking at my face. I followed his gaze and they landed on my bare breasts completely exposed. I rolled my eyes and started snapping my fingers. “Earth to Nick… how long until we leave?” I asked.

  He licked his lips and looked at me, “in like an hour and a half.” He looked back down to my breasts and then to my eyes before he said with a wave of his hand, “you’re not going to cover up?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t give a fuck. I whipped back the blanket and got up. Nick let out a hiss and I went past him to start getting my stuff together. “What about breakfast?” I asked.

  “Huh? Oh breakfast right, yea we’re going to grab it when we leave and then hit the road… so you’re just going to keep flaunting your body in front of me?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I’m only flaunting if you’re watching. Not my problem.” I walked to grab up my stuff and saw Landon’s shirt that I’ve been wearing to bed then remembered his phone. I was walking over to grab his stuff to give to Nick when I felt him. Landon. He was in the room. I have no idea how I knew but I just did.

  I spun around to face him. His face was red and his eyes were watching me accusingly. He looked at Nick then at me. I looked at Nick and noticed he wasn’t dressed in anything but his boxers. Landon turned to face Nick and walked up to him. I saw his jaw ticking, yea he was fucking pissed. He walked up to Nick and punched him in the face. He didn’t say a word just swung and hit the shit out of Nick. My mouth dropped open. What the holy hell? Why did he just hit him like that? I fucking heard when his hand made contact. Nick stumbled back and wiped some blood from the corner of his mouth. He looked ready to fight and looked around the room. He seemed to make up his mind about something. He looked back at Landon and smirked before he sauntered out of the room and closed the door.

  “Why did you just hit him? What the fuck is wrong with you? What happened?” I asked Landon. I mean him and Nick were close as brothers. Why would he just hit him? I must have missed some last night.

  “Was it good? You feel better now?” he asked.

  I frowned and threw my hands on my hips, “who pissed in your Wheaties this morning?” I asked him.

  He closed the gap between us in three strides. He gripped my arms and picked me up and literally threw me on the bed. He took off his shoes then his belt. My mouth dried, “wh… what are you doing?” I asked in a shaky voice. I had no idea what set him off and I didn’t know what he was about to do. I was beginning to think he was going to make good on his threat of beating my ass and that was a thick ass belt. I gulped.

  He didn’t respond. Instead he bared his teeth to me like a fucking savage and removed his shirt. His pants came next. He advanced on me then and crawled onto the bed until his body was hovering over mine. He straddled my waist and sat up straight. “Fucking answer me Lucy.” He said threateningly. I couldn’t though I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. He let out a fierce growl, and bent down and grabbed a fistful of my hair, “is this payback for what you think fucking happened yesterday?” he asked.

  I shook my head and found my voice, “Landon, I… I don’t know what you’re talking about. And you’re scaring me right now.” I admitted.

  He let out a humorless laugh, “good, you need to be fucking scared right now.” His hand came up to my neck and he put his hand around it. I held my breath. Ok he had threatened my life and bodily harm. Don’t kill me please? I thought. It might’ve helped if I actually said my pleas out loud right? He didn’t apply any pressure though, his hands flattened against my necklace. The grip on my hair tightened but it didn’t hurt.

  “Why did you do it Lucy? Huh? Because you want to know if I kissed her? So what if I did… we’re just friends right? We’re not dating. We’re not together. That makes you mad just thinking about it huh? Me putting my mouth on hers, using my tongue to make her moan. Maybe I grabbed her ass while I kissed her.” He shrugged, “maybe she was so sexy I had to rub my hard on against her to get some relief. Maybe I went back to her room with her and made her scream. She had some perky tits too… maybe I sucked on them until she was soaking…”

  I tuned him out because my heart was literally hurting. I couldn’t listen anymore. I don’t know why he was torturing me with this. What did he do? I turned my head away and closed my eyes. The tears were brimming in my eyes ready to pour but I didn’t want him to see them. He grabbed my chin with his hand and turned my head back his way but I wouldn’t open my eyes.

  “What’s the problem Lucy? You can’t take it? Why? You seemed to be pretty damn fine with the status quo a few minutes ago.” Landon said.

  I tried to move my face from his hand but he held his grip firm and stated, “NO! YOU DON’T FUCKING GET TO DO THAT!”

  I felt the tears leaking from beneath my closed eyelids and let out a shuddering breath. “Please… stop.” I begged in a whisper.

  He let out a sharp breath and I felt his breath fan my face. “No. Answer me and tell me why you did it?” he asked.

  “Do what? I don’t know what you want… just tell me what you’re talking about please.” I begged pathetically.

  “WHY DID YOU FUCK NICK? MY FUCKING COUSIN. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT LUCY?” he screamed.

  My eyes opened slowly and I frowned. Why would he think me and Nick had sex? Then realization hit. He was in the room with me in just his boxers and I’ve been walking around in my birthday suit… which I then noticed I’m still naked with Landon on top of me. He thought he had walked in on us just having sex. So he punched him? “What are you talking about, we didn’t have sex.”

  His eyes narrowed, “Don’t fucking lie to me. Did you fuck him?”

  Now my eyes narrowed, “no I didn’t. You trying to call me a slut or something. I said we didn’t and I mean it. I’m a virgin you dick. Now did you fuck her?”

  His head reared back, “No you fucking dummy. You practically threw a cup of hot chocolate at me and took off. I wanted to tell the girl that you were my girlfriend but I couldn’t could i? When I saw you take off on the slope I went too thankfully. I saw you heading off track and I was calling you but you didn’t respond. I had to speed up like crazy to knock you out of the way before you hit the tree. I wasn’t interested in her, I didn’t want her. I told you that shit was done and you STILL DON’T FUCKING BELIEVE ME. You say you trust me, you know how badly I’ve been waiting for those words. And then the first chance you get you show me just how much of a piece of shit you think I am. What
the fuck Lucy? You either do or you fucking don’t, but don’t fuck with my head though. And what the fuck are you doing walking around naked around Nick? I did hit him because I thought you had slept together but I’m not going to fucking apologize either. You know why? Because I walked in the room and saw him checking you out. He got to see you, all of you before me. That is not for his eyes, not now and not ever. You fucking get that Lucy? I’m not playing with you, so cut the bullshit. Give it to me straight.” He took his hand off of my chin and placed it over my racing heart, “what the fuck is going on in here?”

  I kept hold of his eyes. We can keep playing this game we’re playing. The back and forth and tit for tat… but I’m realizing that all of this fighting and arguing is from us both wanting and not having. What do I have to lose? My heart? He already has the ability to break it without us even being together and eventually, he’s not going to wait for me anymore. I’m torturing myself as much as I’m torturing him. I wanted him. I want to wake up in his arms, those are the best mornings. I want him to kiss me those are the most exhilarating times. I want him to touch me, it both excites and soothes me. I brought both hands up and cupped his face.

  “You.” I answered him. “You’re in there… and it wants you. I’m so tired of this Landon.”

  He removed his hand from my hair and brushed strands off my forehead, “ok Lucy. I’ll let you go. I’ll stop if that’s what you want.” He said in a hurt whisper.

  I shook my head and gripped his face to the point of pain. My fingers were hurting and I knew I’d leave prints but I didn’t care. “I’m tired of fighting us. I want you and I need you to want me as much.” He nodded and dropped his forehead down to mine. I whispered, “Landon I love you, and I’m all in, are you?” I asked.

  He nodded, “I always have been.” Then he kissed me. It was filled with longing and passion. God I missed this. His hands slowly trailed over my body and I sighed. This felt right. He broke the kiss and began placing feather kisses down my body until his head was between my legs. He met my eyes before he placed the first swipe of his tongue against me. My eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, “open your eyes Lucy. Don’t look away from me.” He commanded. I opened my eyes and met his eyes again. When I did he gave me a small smile and then went to work. For once I was glad for his insane appetite. The boy ate me like this was his last meal and I was in heaven. I’ve never felt anything like this before. This is what I’ve been missing out on. When my legs started to shake he relented and began moving his tongue in a leisurely place making me whimper. My entire body was covered in goose bumps and I was heated. I felt like my body temperature might rival Johnny’s from the fantastic four. He pulled up his head and replaced his tongue with his fingers.

  “Who do you belong to Lucy?” he asked. When I didn’t respond his fingers sped up until I was panting. “Answer me, who do you belong to?” he asked again.

  “You Landon, only you. Please?” I begged. I didn’t know what I was begging for but I just wanted him to continue. I wanted that feeling back that made my toes curl.

  “Who do you love?” he asked me.

  “You.” I responded.

  “Are you going to try to leave me Lucy? Or walk around naked in front of Nick?” he asked.

  “No, never. I’ll never leave.” I told him desperately.

  His pace picked back up to the speed I needed, I groaned in pleasure. “And are you going to let Nick see you naked again? This is my body right?” he asked

  I nodded then shook my head then nodded again. I had no idea what was going on in my head. “Only you, no one else.” I barely got out.

  He nodded. I must’ve given him all the answers he needed because he ducked his head and let his tongue join his fingers. It only took a few minutes before my entire body was shaking in pleasure and I cried out. It felt like an explosion went off in my body. I saw dots, my eyes lost focus, my toes were curled, and one hand was gripping the blanket, while the other was gripping his hair. I wouldn’t be surprised if I drew blood from how hard I was biting my lip. He didn’t ease up either he kept going, as the fuzziness left my brain I sighed. I thought he would stop but he didn’t. Instead he stuck his tongue inside of me and used his thumb against my bud. My body started to shake again instantly.

  I was panting, “Landon no, no, no.” I cried but he ignored me and kept going. I was still trying to recover from the first orgasm when another hit me. I called out Landon’s name. He didn’t stop, and this time he switched his finger and tongue and put a finger inside of me. My body shuddered. “I can’t take anymore.” I told him. He shook his head and added a second finger and I went off immediately. When I came down from orgasm number three he finally eased up. I spread out on the bed spent. He crawled up my body placing kisses on my stomach, over my ribs, and finally my breast. He pulled one into his mouth and I arched my body. It was a like a burst of energy and lust came over me on the contact. I grabbed the back of his head and pressed closer. He continued sucking, biting, and licking my tit and nipple before he moved onto the next. One hand came up to my now vacant breast and the other found its way back between my legs. I was making animal noises at this point, not the least bit ashamed. Landon was wreaking havoc on my body pulling me into a place I probably won’t be able to come back from. I let one hand guide down his chest and abs until they reached the waistband of his boxers. I slid my hand inside and found him immediately.

  God he was long and hard against my hand. His skin felt like silk. I wanted to see it so I pushed the top of his boxers down to release him. There was a bead of precum on the tip and I swiped it. He groaned. I grabbed him and squeezed which brought another groan from him. I began to pump him up and down slowly and his mouth released my breast and he dropped his head on my chest. Seeing that as encouragement I squeezed again and moved my hand faster. I felt him pump into my hand urging me on. He let out a shaky breath and then covered my hand with his forcing me stop. He moved his head up and looked me in the eye before shaking his head.

  “No Lucy, stop.” He told me.

  I shook my head and tried to continue. My body wanted him. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him down on top of me completely. Our hands stuck between our bodies. He kissed me, slow and long I felt my body begin to melt. My hands came up to run through his hair. We continued to kiss for what felt like 5 minutes, but I have no idea how long it really was. When he pulled his head back I was a puddle. At some point he had fixed himself because his boxers were back in place, jerk played me. But it was worth it.

  “Why don’t you want to?” I asked him.

  He sighed, “I do. But not like this, not here, and not now.” He responded. I knew he wasn’t going to change his mind so I accepted it. He got off of me and stood up then grabbed my hand and pulled me up. He hugged me to him, “you need to put some clothes on… and we need to hurry because we were supposed to be getting ready to leave. I’m going to hop in the shower while you pack up.” He gave me a quick peck and swat on the ass before he went to wash.

  I got ready in record time. When we got in the car Nick drove and Mel took shotgun. He met my eyes in the mirror and gave me a knowing smile and I blushed. He couldn’t possibly have any clue about what we were doing when he left, but his face told me otherwise. We grabbed breakfast and I tried not to look at Mel and Nick the entire time. My paranoia was going tenfold.

  “So, you two make up yet? You guys are like a married couple already. You have a fight and Landon’s sleeping on the couch.” He chuckled.

  Ahh so that’s where he was. I didn’t even look last night, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about where the hell he was last night at least 50 times.

  “For your information Nick, she didn’t kick me out over a fight. I was mad so I slept on the couch.” Landon informed him.

  That only made Nick laugh harder, “Right… and how did that work out for you. Didn’t look very comfortable from where I was standing.” He teased.

  “I slept just fine, tha
nk you. And mind your damn business anyways.” Landon said.

  I laughed, he got called out and he was grumpy. “I’m curious too… did you guys make up. You don’t seem to be mad with each other anymore. You guys are really annoying to be around when you’re pissed at each other.” Mel pointed out.

  I rolled my eyes. “No we’re not mad anymore. We talked about it LJ –“I was cutoff mid-sentence.

  “She’s my girlfriend” Landon blurted out.

  We all looked at him and laughed. He blushed, he fucking blushed. Yes, pink has tinged Landon’s cheeks. It was so cute sort of like he just had to say it… couldn’t hold it in any longer. It makes me consider if I’ll ever tell him a secret.

  Nick started to applaud, and Mel jumped in. now I’m blushing. “It’s about fucking time. I thought I might have to lock the two of you in a room or something until you got it together.” Nick told us.

  I flipped him off. “So… how was the makeup?” he asked with a wiggle of his brows. “I’m just curious if Landon let up when you couldn’t take anymore.”

  Holy shit. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. That bastard had a knowing look because he fucking knew. Well I think he may be under the impression more happened that what actually did. But I’m mortified that he even knows something happened. Mel’s head swung to me on his statement, mouth hanging open, eyebrows high. “What’s he talking about?” she asked me.

  Dammit. If I got any redder I’d burst into flames. I folded my arms on the table and dropped my head. This isn’t really happening is it? It just can’t be happening. I felt the table shift and Nick screech. “Fuck Landon that hurt.” Nick complained. Good, he deserves it. He could’ve just kept the fact that he heard to himself, but then again it wouldn’t be Nick would it if he didn’t tease us.