Finding Perfect

by Susan Mallery

  “I’ve been living here for years. I can handle it.”

  “If you need anything, call me.”

  “I don’t want to interrupt your hot date.”

  He adjusted the front of her sweater. “You’re my hot date.”

  Words to make her heart beat faster, she thought, knowing giving in to emotional temptation would be a really bad thing.

  “Raoul…”

  Before she could say anything else, he pressed his mouth to hers.

  The kiss was soft and tender, more caring than passionate. He didn’t try to deepen it or even touch her anywhere else. Yet the feel of his lips against hers was devastating. Not from wanting in a sexual way, but because the gentleness ignited a longing she rarely allowed herself to experience. The kiss made her dream about what it would be like to fall in love, to risk her heart, to believe she could have someone to care about. Someone who wouldn’t leave.

  Unexpected tears burned in her eyes. She pulled back, dug her keys out of her pocket and opened the door.

  “Thanks for dinner,” she said, doing her best to keep her tone light. “Especially for the last egg roll.”

  “All part of the full-service plan. You’ll let me know when you’re going to pee on the stick?”

  Despite the emptiness inside of her, she laughed. “No one’s ever asked me that before, so I have to say yes.”

  “Good. Night, Pia.”

  “Good night.”

  She waited until he started down the stairs, then she closed the door, locked it and leaned back against the sturdy surface.

  “Don’t go there,” she whispered into the quiet room. “Don’t believe in him. You know what will happen if you do.”

  What always happened. He would leave. She had a feeling that telling herself she was used to being on her own wouldn’t make dealing without him any easier to take.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “IT WAS THE WEIRDEST THING,” Pia said as she and Montana sat in Pia’s office, going over details for the bachelor auction. Technically now an auction/talent show.

  “I don’t understand,” Montana said, frowning slightly. “Isn’t the auction enough?”

  “Apparently not. Nearly thirty women will be getting up onstage and performing in one way or another. They have a three-minute limit.” Pia told her about the woman who bragged about a lack of cavities. “I grew up here. When did the women in town get so distressed about the lack of men?”

  “Some women want to be in a relationship.”

  “I agree, but not like this.” Pia looked at her friend. “Have you noticed all the extra men in town?”

  Montana nodded. “Three guys in a car whistled at me yesterday. It was strange. But kind of nice.”

  Pia winced. “Tell me you’re not going to be there, meeting the bus.”

  Montana laughed. “I can barely hold down a job, let alone find and keep a man.”

  “Tell me about it,” Pia grumbled. “I’ve never had a guy stay. And I can’t figure out why. Is it me? Do I give off the leave-me vibe? Is there something fundamentally wrong with me?”

  “No. You’re great. Smart, funny.”

  “Well, so are you.”

  Montana wrinkled her nose. “No, I’m scattered. I feel like it’s been harder for me to grow up than for everyone else. Maybe that’s why I haven’t found the one.”

  “I don’t have an excuse,” Pia told her. Not that it would matter now, what with the implantation and all.

  Without meaning to, she found herself thinking about Raoul. She appreciated the pregnancy-buddy support, but she was going to have a serious talk with him about the kissing. They couldn’t keep doing it. She was finding it confusing. Not the kissing itself—that was easy. But the wanting that followed. She was fine wanting sex. But wanting more…that was the real danger.

  “I want to find where I belong,” Montana said, then sighed. “Don’t laugh, but I have an interview for a job.”

  “Why would I laugh at that?”

  “Okay—not laugh exactly. I’m really excited, but just, I’m nervous.”

  Pia patted Montana’s arm. “As long as it’s not starring in porn, I’m good with it.”

  Montana’s mouth twisted. “Well, crap.”

  Pia stared at her. “Oh, God. You’re seriously going to be in a porn movie?”

  Montana laughed. “I’m kidding.”

  “Very funny. What is it?”

  “There’s this guy named Max. He lives outside of town and he trains therapy dogs. They’re the ones who go into hospitals and nursing homes. Being around them makes people feel better. He also trains dogs for a reading program. They’ve done studies and kids who have trouble reading do a lot better reading to a dog rather than a person. I guess they feel they’re not being judged. Anyway, he’s looking for someone to help him run the kennel and help with the training and take the dogs to their various programs.”

  Montana drew in a breath. “There’s a lot to learn. When I spoke to Max, he said I would have to take a couple of classes online and get certified as a dog trainer. While I was doing that, I would work in the kennel and get to know the dogs. He’s giving me a four-month trial period. If that goes well, he’ll start me actually working with the therapy dogs. I have an interview in a couple of days.”

  Pia was still reeling from the porn joke. “You sound excited.”

  “I am. I like the idea of working with the dogs and helping people. I want to make a difference, but I still don’t know if this job is the right one. Dakota and Nevada both just knew what they wanted to do with their lives. I’m an identical triplet. Shouldn’t I be like them?”

  “You have to follow your own path and figure out what’s right for you. It sounds like you might have found it.”

  “I hope so. I’m tired of messing up.”

  “Montana, don’t beat yourself up. When have you messed up?”

  Her friend shrugged. “I just turned down a full-time job with benefits. Who does that?”

  “Someone who’s thinking long term.”

  “I want to be good at something. Look at you. You’re great at your job.”

  “I organize festivals. That’s hardly saving the world.”

  “You’re an integral part of the community. What you do marks the passage of time and makes memories. Parents look forward to bringing their kids to their first Fall Festival or the Saturday of Giving. People plan their travel schedules to come here for their favorites. What you do changes the way people live.”

  Pia stared at her. “Wow. I should ask for a raise.”

  Montana laughed. “I’m serious.”

  “So am I.” She’d always loved her work, but it had never seemed all that important. Montana’s words made her rethink that concept. “I’d always focused on the fact that I bring tourists to town, which means more money for all the local businesses.”

  “It’s not just about money.”

  “You’re right. Which is why you shouldn’t feel bad about turning down the full-time library job. You have to think about what’s really important to you.”

  “I want to make a difference,” Montana said firmly. “I’ve watched some videos about the service dogs. They’re wonderful. I could be a part of that.”

  “Then I hope you get the job.”

  “Me, too. It would be nice to find where I belong. I want to be more than my family name.”

  “Don’t discount being a Hendrix,” Pia told her. “You’re already part of something wonderful.”

  “I know, but they’re just family.”

  Pia thought about her relatively solitary life. How she’d been on her own for so long, with no one to depend on. Now she was going to be responsible for three new lives. At least that was the hope.

  “Family can be the most important thing of all,” she said, thinking it was sad that Keith and Crystal had only had each other, and now the babies would only have her.

  Montana rolled her eyes. “Now you sound like my mother.”

  “
Denise is wonderful, so thanks for the compliment.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I DON’T NEED MY HAIR CUT,” Raoul told Pia as they walked down the street.

  “You sound whiny,” she told him. “I expect a fairly high level of maturity from my pregnancy buddy. Don’t let me down.”

  “When did you get bossy?”

  “I always have been,” she said with a laugh. “I thought you would have noticed.”

  The day was cool. Pia had pulled on a bright red coat over her jeans and sweater. Her boots made her a little taller, which meant she was the perfect height for kissing, he thought absently.

  He liked kissing Pia. He’d liked doing more, but under the circumstances, that wasn’t on the table. She might be pregnant, and neither of them would do anything to hurt the babies. Not that she’d shown any interest in getting back in his bed. Although given what had happened the last time they’d been together, he doubted either of them would say no.

  Still, he had a higher purpose here: taking care of Pia as she took care of Crystal’s embryos.

  “It’s a simple rule,” Pia told him. “You alternate between the sisters. Today we’re seeing Bella. Next time you’ll go to Julia’s shop.”

  “I still think getting my hair cut out of town solves the problem.”

  “Coward.”

  “Football taught me when to drop back and let my guys cover me.”

  She paused by the glass door of the salon. “It doesn’t matter if you go out of town, Raoul. They’ll still be mad at you. Haven’t you figured it out? There’s no way to win this fight, so why not get a front-row seat and enjoy the show?”

  “There’s a show?”

  She smiled. “Actually, you’re the show.”

  She walked inside. He hesitated for a second, then followed her into the salon.

  It was midday, midweek and still nearly every station was full. As he entered the well-lit, modern space, every single person—aka woman—turned to stare at him.

  A middle-aged woman with dark hair and beautiful brown eyes studied him appraisingly. “Pia, what have you brought me?”

  Pia linked her arm through Raoul’s. “Bella, you can borrow him, but you can’t keep him. This is Raoul Moreno. Raoul, please meet Bella Gionni.”

  Bella moved toward him, her hand extended. “My pleasure,” she purred. “So strong, so handsome. Josh is my favorite. After all, I’ve known him since he was a boy, but you… You come very close.”

  Raoul shifted uncomfortably, then shook hands with the woman. “Ah, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m ready for you.”

  He leaned toward Pia. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

  “No. I’m here to protect you.”

  “Good.”

  He was aware of every woman in the place watching him. He was used to attention, but it usually wasn’t so blatant.

  Bella seated him in a chair and wrapped a plastic cape around him. Then she stood behind him, her hands on his shoulders, and met his gaze in the mirror.

  “What would you like?”

  “Just a trim,” Pia said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “This is his first haircut in town.”

  Bella smiled. “And you came to me.”

  “Where else would we go?” Pia asked.

  “Exactly.” Bella reached for a spray bottle and dampened his hair, then combed through it. “Are the two of you together?”

  “No,” Pia said quickly.

  “Yes,” Raoul insisted just as fast.

  Bella raised her eyebrows. “You should probably get that part figured out.”

  Pia looked at him. “We’re not dating.”

  “We’re together.”

  “Okay, but not in that way. Just because we’ve…” She stopped and glanced around, as if aware of everyone listening.

  He’d been talking about him being her pregnancy buddy, but he realized she’d been thinking about their night together.

  “Men,” she muttered, as she stalked off and started talking to one of the other hairdressers.

  Bella combed and cut efficiently, her hands moving confidently. “So you like our Pia, do you?”

  “Very much.”

  Bella’s expression sharpened. “As a friend or more?”

  “We’re friends.”

  “Then you’re a fool.”

  He held in a grin. He’d always enjoyed women who spoke their minds. “Why?”

  “Pia is worth ten of whatever women you’ve been dating. She’s a good girl. Smart, caring, beautiful.”

  He turned his head so he could see Pia in the mirror. She’d shrugged out of her coat and he could see the way her sweater clung to her curves. She laughed at something he couldn’t hear, but the sound of her amusement made him smile.

  She was all Bella said and more. She had heart and character. No one knew about the embryos. She could have walked away from them, had them donated to science or simply thrown away. But none of the options had occurred to her. There weren’t a lot of people he admired, but she was one of them.

  “What happened to her was sad,” Bella continued. “Losing her father that way, then having her mother run to Florida. There was Pia, in her senior year of high school, and she lost everything. She had to go into foster care.”

  “I’d heard,” he murmured, wondering what kind of mother simply abandoned her kid without a second thought. The grief and loss could have drawn them closer together. Instead Pia had had to deal with all the crap on her own.

  He found himself wanting to fix the problem—even though it had happened over a decade ago. Still, the need was there, to do something. To act.

  “She’s had boyfriends, you know,” Bella announced.

  “I’m sure she has.”

  “They never stay. Poor girl. I don’t know what goes wrong, but they leave.”

  Not a conversation he wanted to be having with Bella, he thought. His gaze once again returned to Pia. She’d had a difficult road and her life was about to get three times more complicated. Who was going to take care of her? Who would be there when she needed help?

  He knew she had friends and they would help. The town would pull through. Fool’s Gold seemed like that kind of place. But on a day-to-day basis, Pia would be on her own.

  He wondered if she’d thought that part through. If she knew what she was getting into. She turned and met his gaze in the mirror, then smiled. He winked at her and she returned her attention to her conversation.

  He’d been in love twice in his life. He and his first girlfriend had grown apart, and Caro had betrayed every part of their marriage vows. He wasn’t looking to feel that way ever again. Not getting involved was safer. But there was still the reality of wanting a family—needing that connection. He couldn’t have one without the other. Or so he’d always believed.

  “I CAN HEAR YOU,” Pia yelled through the closed bathroom door.

  “I’m just sitting. There’s nothing to hear.”

  Even so, she was sure there were noises. Or maybe the problem was there weren’t. Talk about pressure, she thought as she stood and pulled up her bikini panties and jeans. Is this what it was like to be a guy? Pure performance anxiety?

  She opened the bathroom door.

  “I can’t do this with you in the room,” she said, then held up a hand. “Don’t bother saying you’re not in the room. It’s practically the same thing.”

  Raoul shook his head as he got to his feet and turned to face her. Laughter brightened his dark eyes. “Can’t stand the heat, huh?” he teased.

  “The heat isn’t the problem.”

  “Have you tried turning on the faucet? The sound of running water might help.”

  “I’m not going to stand here having a conversation with you about my inability to pee.”

  “You already are.”

  She rolled her eyes, then pointed at the front door. “Go stand in the hall until I’m done.”

  “I’ve had my tongue in your mouth.”

>   “So not the point.”

  “We can have sex, but I can’t be in the next room while you go to the bathroom?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Fine.” He crossed the room and let himself out. Then he stuck his head back in. “What should I tell the neighbors if they ask why I’m loitering?”

  “Don’t make me kill you.”

  He laughed and shut the door behind him.

  “Men,” she muttered, then returned to the bathroom and pulled down her pants.

  After sitting on the toilet, she turned on the faucet and reached for the plastic stick from the pregnancy test. Everything was fine, she told herself. She peed several times a day. It didn’t require a lot of thought or effort. It was natural. Easy.

  But at that moment, it felt far from easy. It felt impossible. She turned off the water, tried humming, shifting, breathing more slowly. Her bladder stubbornly refused to empty.

  Never again, she told herself. Pregnancy was too hard. When she finally managed to pee on the stick, she was going to get ice cream. The fact that it was chilly outside didn’t matter. She wanted a hot fudge sundae with whipped…

  “Oh, no!”

  When she’d finally stopped paying attention, her body had responded. She did her thing with the stick, set it on a tissue, then got up, flushed and pulled up her pants. After washing her hands, she walked out to get Raoul.

  “Finally,” he said when she opened the door. “Success?”

  “I have peed.”

  “I’m so proud.”

  “Be nice or I’ll make you touch it.”

  She went back into the bathroom and carefully carried out the stick on the tissue and set it on a paper towel on the kitchen counter.

  “How long?”

  “Just a few minutes.”

  They stared at the little screen, which showed an hourglass. She could hear the faint ticking of a clock and feel the rapid thudding of her heart. According to the test, the result would announce her condition. Pregnant or not pregnant. As simple as that.

  She didn’t allow herself to speculate. Part of her was afraid that she’d lost Crystal’s babies—that they hadn’t been able to hang on. But another part of her was terrified they had.