reputation

by Dr. Rebecca Sharp

  And then her head tipped up to mine and she murmured loud enough for only me to hear, “Zach, the shine of the thousands of spotlights and all the stars in the darkest of night skies—all of this will never be enough for me. Without you, the rest of it will never be enough. You are all I need.”

  “I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” I choked out as she dove into my chest again.

  The cheers and sighs faded into the background as I held my girl, feeling her body shake against me. Part of me knew that she was mine, the other part still held onto her like my life depended on it.

  And it did.

  A short second later she pulled back, wiping her face and darting her eyes to the stunned crowd and back to me.

  “I-I’m sorry,” she said with a wobbly voice. “I-I’m a mess.”

  ‘You’re beautiful!’

  ‘Forgive him!’

  Her words had echoed softly through my mic.

  I chuckled. “You’re not a mess, Blay. You are the most headstrong, awkward, and captivating kind of beautiful.” I could see the way my words made her want to break down again. And if she did? So be it. She deserved to hear every fucking phrase. She deserved to be worshipped on stage… in private… every damn second of every damn day.

  ‘Listen to him!’

  “Your beautiful is made up of starlight and wishes and magic—the type of magic that foolish men like me run away from… and then run back to when it’s too late.”

  Her lower lip quivered so badly I wanted to bite it just to keep it steady.

  “Am I too late, Blakebaby?” I whispered quietly.

  ‘No!’

  ’Tell him he’s not!’

  ‘Kiss him!’

  Smiles broke on both of our faces at the last one. Talk about having a commentary accompany one of the most important moments of our lives. I didn’t care. I would have yelled it from the fucking mountaintops if that’s what it took to make her mine.

  “You’re not too late,” she said with a watery smile. “I miss you too much to be mad anymore.”

  The lights came back on with a flood. Unnecessary. The smiles that broke on our faces could have lit the whole damn stadium.

  “I love you, Blakebaby. Always.”

  “I’ve always loved you, Zach,” she returned as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

  At that point, the crowd had ceased to exist. It was just her and me. Against the world. For the world. It didn’t matter—we’d create a brand new world.

  My forehead rested on hers, losing myself in those brilliant blues before I claimed her lips, kissing her like I should have in Minnesota—and ten years ago. This was the fairytale kiss. And it wasn’t because there were people or cameras watching—in fact, it was in spite of those things. For the first time, they knew what they saw was for real.

  It was only when the chanting of ‘Blake and Zach’ gained full steam—and when Ash flicked the lights (because even though he knew how we felt didn’t mean he was ready for this to be paraded in front of his face) that it registered that we were still in front of the crowd.

  “Sorry,” I rasped hoarsely. “I got a little carried away there.”

  Her red lips widened into an even bigger smile. That was my girl. Wearing her heart on her sleeve… shirt… shoes… and smile.

  “You’re my North Star, Blakebaby. No matter what happens or where I go, I always find my way back to you.”

  “Seriously?” she whimpered before she sobbed again. “They’re all seeing me ugly cry!”

  Laughter rippled through the crowd as she playfully used my shirt to wipe her face.

  ‘We love you, Blake!’

  I laughed. “Well, there’s more coming.”

  Palms against my chest, she pushed back. “Are you joking? I’m a mess!”

  “Blay,” I cupped her face, “I have almost ten years of things built up inside of me that I should have done and should have said. The best I can do is have someone bring you out a box of tissues because I’m not done with you yet.”

  She groaned as the crowd went wild. At least I had them on my side.

  I stepped back and faced the stands. “I apologize for taking up so much of the show you came to see, but I’m not sorry,” I said with a devilish grin. “Now, y’all came to hear Blake sing—and you will—but first, I have a song that I want to sing for her.”

  “Oh, God. I think I need to sit down.” We all laughed, hearing her mumbled complaint. Apparently, Ash had her mic turned back on low.

  I thanked one of the stage hands who ran out with my guitar and a second stool for me to sit. A few quick strums to verify that it was tuned and ready (like I hadn’t checked ten times before coming out here), I looked over my shoulder.

  “This ones for you, babe.”

  And then I played. Familiar chords. A familiar tune. She knew what was coming… because she was the one who wrote it.

  “In my eyes, you are the sunrise.

  Bound to my blood and always on my mind.”

  Even though I took some liberties with the lyrics, this time it was my turn to sing my heart for her.

  “In my eyes, you are the sunrise.

  Effortless captivating, too enchanting to be mine.

  Here I am, day after day.

  My heart, it rises for you.

  So, please always stay,

  My heart, it rises for you.

  Say you’ll be mine, Blay.

  My heart, it rises for you.

  And I know for me, it’s always you.

  Please don’t leave the mess of this man

  With the heart that adores you.”

  My heart pounded as the last chord faded into silence. It wasn’t blood, but Blake that pumped through my veins. And then she was in my arms again.

  Fearless.

  Forever.

  Mine.

  Track 22: Fairytales

  “Some say fairytales are unbelievable,

  But I’d ask them if they’ve ever met you.”

  “ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?” I laughed, half breathless as I jogged trying to keep up with him. “This is where we rushed back to?”

  He shot me that smirk over his shoulder—the one that had turned my insides to mush since I was fifteen. The one that said he had plans and that I was a part of them.

  I shook my head as we slowed through the brush, coming to a stop at the base of our old treehouse. Back to the beginning.

  We’d finished the show—a show that had been the perfect ending to the tour and a perfect beginning for us: surrounded by love and a couple thousand fans. It didn’t matter how long it had been or how many people were watching—surrounded by a sea of stars and stares, all I would ever see is him.

  ‘Blake Tyler takes ownership of past break-ups in heartwarming concert confession.’

  ‘Blake Tyler gives the best concert of her career, complete with a happily-ever-after finale!’

  Ash was right. There was a part of me that was blind when it came to Zach—blind to fear and anxiety, blind to pressure and popularity, blind to anything but love.

  The crowd… my fans… the world… finally got what they’d been looking for—and so did I—something true in a world that too often was filled with frauds. A love story.

  Whatever I’d done… whatever he’d done… it was forgiven for love. Because if there is one thing in this world that everyone understands, it’s that love isn’t perfect, but it’s worth it.

  I hoped that one day Ash would meet someone who showed him how that was never a bad thing.

  The second the lights had gone dark to a crowd cheering for us to give them ‘one more kiss,’ he’d tugged me off stage and out to the car, flooring it to get back here. No one seemed to mind. I’d see my family in the morning.

  This is what it should have been ten years ago—the two of us sneaking out here because what we had was written in the stars.

  “Why are we here?” I asked again as Zach began to climb the ladder.

  He didn’t answer me.
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  But when I got to the top, I forgot I’d even asked.

  Zach stood in the middle of the room on top of a makeshift bed, not so dissimilar from the one that had been up here that night. Candles lined the three walls, flickering in the cool summer night breeze that blew through the open window.

  It wasn’t fancy cars or a fancy restaurant with fancy clothes and fake feelings.

  It was simple. It was subtle. It was us.

  “Is this real?” I whispered, unable to take my eyes off of him. He’d shucked his shirt on the drive here, leaving only the tee he was wearing underneath, partially tucked into the front of his jeans that sat low enough on his hips to make me squirm. And the way the light rolled over his body in waves made me desperate for the touch that I’d been craving throughout the entire show.

  “I have something for you,” he rasped even as he stared at me hungrily.

  “This… is beautiful, Zach,” I replied, looking around again, this time breathing in the warm vanilla from the candles and the way it mixed with the earthy forest scent. “How did you… Who…”

  He grinned. “I got everything ready. Taylor left the show early to light the candles. But this isn’t the surprise.”

  I gaped. Was the man trying to give me a heart attack?

  “What else could there possibly be?” I asked incredulously. “First, you commandeer my show and force me to forgive you.” His stomach flexed as he laughed and I realized that my teasing had done anything but lighten the situation. “And… and then you whisk me off stage to come here…”

  He stepped towards me, his hands reaching for my hips as he tugged me to him. “I know it’s not the Plaza. And I know it’s not the perfect beaches of California or the wide-open, star-lit freedom of Colorado, but—”

  “It’s perfect,” I finished, stepping onto the small mattress and wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “Blake…” he growled my name before his lips crashed onto mine, kissing me hard.

  Two weeks.

  Too long.

  His tongue touched the seam of my lips just as they opened for him, letting him inside. Why does wanting him always feel like the first time? I let out a moan as he sucked on my tongue before tugging my shirt from my shorts, unbuttoning it and forcing it off my arms. My jeans and underwear were gone before I could catch my breath.

  I needed him.

  There’s something else he brought me here for, but the desire between us was too hot and desperate to contain. Like a spark in the middle of the dry forests of California—this wildfire needed to run its course.

  His hands gripped my ass and lifted me, my legs wrapping around his waist pushing his thick length against me. I rolled my hips against him and he groaned.

  “Do you even know what you are searching for, Blakebaby?”

  With every word he erased the parts about this place that had broken my heart. With every word, he gave me the pieces back one by one.

  “Yes,” I whispered against his lips as he lay me down on the mattress. “You.” I bit his lower lip and the growl that erupted from his chest was lethal with lust.

  One hand cupped my breast as his mouth slid down to claim the other. He tongued my nipple into his mouth, drawing on it with steady pulls that had my hips thrusting up against him in tandem.

  Releasing my breast with a loud pop, he kissed a path down my stomach, nipping at the soft flesh near my belly button. I felt the warmth of his breath trickle down over my core and my body clenched in anticipation.

  “Zach…” I pleaded.

  His fingers skated down to dig into my thighs, spreading them wide to accommodate his shoulders.

  “Let me see how you shine,” he demanded as he spread my legs wide, baring my sex to him. “For me, Baby Blake?” He blew a soft breath over my aching pussy.

  “Only for you,” I said in a breathless voice.

  With a hungry moan, his lips pressed to my core and my body jerked up against him as sparks flared. The movement spurred him on. With my lips spread wide, he flattened his tongue over me, licking from my entrance all the way to my clit with the Goldilocks amount of pressure.

  “Honey…” he growled against me, making me shake with need.

  My fingers searched for his head and clenched into his hair, pulling him against me.

  “Please,” I moaned.

  I felt his body tense against mine. He loved what he did to me. And I loved what my begging did to him.

  Every time he touched me, my response felt the same, but different; each time felt new. It was like when I sang any of my songs; they were the same chords and the same lyrics, but they never came out exactly like the last time.

  I gasped as his tongue pushed inside of me again and again as his thumb slid back over my clit. Everything blurred like I have no contacts in; the candles in the room look like giant yellow halos, magical yellow balls that make this feel even more like a fantasy. My moans mingled with the sounds coming from between my legs. Later, I would add it to the list of embarrassing things that I’d done in front of him. Later, I would realize that I still didn’t care.

  I could feel the way his mouth smiled against my sex and he groaned each time I pressed up into him, more of my desire gushing against him that he greedily sucked up; it was the hottest thing I’d ever heard. Those groans ripped me apart as the lights in the room melted into a giant blur and I shattered underneath him.

  Gasping and shaking, I was completely undone. By tonight. By him. By everything.

  I felt the soft, quick presses of his lips against the insides of my thighs before my vision focused again on him as he stood. Tugging off the rest of his clothes, he stood there, looking down on me—sprawled out, flushing, and dripping; he looked down on me like the god he was.

  I gulped, watching him lick the rest of me off of his lips. My eyes drifted further south. The candles let me see the fine sheen of sweat over every inch of his body that I knew so well yet was still discovering. My greedy perusal halted when I got to his erection hanging thick and heavy between his legs, pointing directly at me. One of these days I would taste the sweet saltiness of him on my tongue. But not tonight.

  “This was all I wanted that night,” he rasped, his hand gripping his cock. “All I wanted was you. Here. Sprawled out with your long legs spread open for me.”

  My hips arched, wanting exactly that.

  He dropped to his knees, leaning on one hand over me.

  I lost myself in those eyes—golden, just like his heart. “I love you, Blakebaby,” he said with a thick voice. “You don’t even understand how much. You couldn’t.”

  “I love you.” My hand came up to cup the side of his face, pulling his lips down to mine. “And I think I could… but I’d prefer that you show me.”

  He chuckled against my mouth, deep and full of promise.

  “Anything for you.”

  His mouth ravaged mine. I tasted myself on his tongue and that only made me hotter. But he was just as crazed. Before my hips could grind up against his, I felt the head of his cock at my entrance, slipping it back and forth over my entrance and my clit, coating it with my juices. My core clenched as he pressed against my entrance.

  I stopped breathing as he sunk his thickness all the way inside of me, wanting to feel nothing—not even the air I needed to survive—except for the way his arousal pushed apart my tense, needy muscles to find the deepest place inside me.

  He froze and we both just felt… lived… that moment. It was the pause—the inhale—before the beat dropped. And then, with an angry growl, he took what we both needed. Sliding back out he thrust into me again. The old mattress squeaked underneath us as our hips slammed together.

  His mouth left mine and I didn’t complain when he began kissing and sucking on my neck. The stars that I always stared up at exploded in my vision as I came, the world falling away beneath me. Zach’s hoarse yell came a split second after I felt the rush of his heat filling up my passage, coating me and marking me as his forever.
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br />   Even through turbulent breaths, he didn’t stop kissing me: along my jaw, down my neck, tracing my collarbone. Tender, yet possessive.

  I may be a face that the entire world knows, but I belong to him.

  Slipping out of me, he gently cleaned us both before pulling me tight to him. I curled into his side, searching to be closer to him: the only place that ever felt like home. His hand around me gently stroked my back. I could stay here forever.

  “Did you bring a blanket?” I asked, hearing how my voice had dropped a notch from being completely and totally sated. From pure bliss.

  I began to sit up when his arms cinched around me.

  “Wait,” he said softly, reaching for my left wrist. “I need this for a second.”

  My brow furrowed. My eyes darted down to my hand and then back up to his intense gaze.

  “I should have given this to you a long time ago,” he began hoarsely, leaning over to feel for his jeans, digging around for something in them before he came back to me. I wasn’t prepared for what was in his hand when it opened. I balked. I gaped. And then I broke into tears.

  “I should have returned it to you.” He turned my wrist, gently laying the charm bracelet that I thought I’d lost almost a decade ago on a night that was so similar yet so different than this one. “I found it after you’d gone, but I couldn’t bring myself to give it back. Especially not after the graduation party.”

  He stared, focused on the task of locking the clasp and securing the piece around my wrist.

  “I pushed so hard and then this was all I had left of you to hold on to.”

  “Y-you kept it?” I stuttered, a disgusting mess of tears and tremors.

  He nodded, his thumb rubbing over the inside of my wrist, moving the guitar charm back and forth.

  “I kept it… for a lot of reasons. The first one that I told myself was that it was a reminder of exactly why I couldn’t have you; Ash gave it to you and I promised him…” He let out a clipped laugh. “I told myself a lot of things, most of which weren’t the truth. The truth is that I loved you and I left you and I held onto this, hoping that you’d hold onto me until I came home. And then you let the world fall in love with you. So, I held onto it, like somehow… someway… it meant that I had a part of you that no one else had.”