Three Stupid Weddings

by Ann Gallagher

  You paid money for that monstrosity?

  “It was amazing!” Vic deserved an Oscar for the sincerity in his voice right then. “Everything’s been amazing today. And it didn’t rain!”

  At that, she frowned. “I wish it hadn’t been quite so hot, though. You guys must have been dying out there.”

  “Eh.” He shrugged. “You’ll just buy me a life size Storm Trooper costume for Christmas, and we’ll call it even.”

  “Pfft.” Andrea rolled her eyes. “I think we’ll call it even for the time you broke my tooth.”

  “Wait, what?” I said. “When did you break her tooth? And how?”

  Vic released a long-suffering sigh. “I didn’t break her tooth.”

  “Not directly, no.” Andrea folded her arms across the front of her gown. “But you did tell me that if I made it across the Rogue’s Creek Bridge with my eyes closed, you’d share your M&M’s with me, so…”

  “So he was an accomplice to breaking the tooth,” I said.

  “And I made him wear a tux in hot weather, which means I’m an accomplice to his heat stroke.” She grinned, looking just like her brother. “Which makes us even.”

  I shrugged and turned to Vic. “She’s got a point.”

  He huffed. “Traitor.”

  “Did you at least share your M&M’s with her?”

  Vic sheepishly dropped his gaze.

  “No,” Andrea supplied pointedly, “he did not.”

  “Vic…”

  “What?” He shrugged. “It wasn’t like she could eat with a broken tooth.”

  I tsked. “Such a mean big brother.”

  Andrea laughed evilly and gave me a hug as she said to Vic, “I like him. You need to keep him around.”

  Vic chuckled, and he winked at me. “Yeah, I think I might.”

  I had no doubt he would.

  I just wished for the millionth time that he meant he’d keep me around as more than a friend.

  Chapter 7

  Vic

  It was after midnight when Dom and I finally made it back to my parents’ house. My feet were killing me, my skin felt crispy from being out in the sun, and I swore I could still taste that congealed excuse for a cake. I was ready to faceplant in a pillow and sleep for a month.

  I felt great, though. The whole day and evening had been a blast. No drama. No chaos. No one trying to hook me up with every single man in town. Just me, my best friend, my family, and a whole lot of dancing, good food, and hanging out. Okay, so I was pretty sure I’d have nightmares about the way that cake had tasted, not to mention how it had felt in my mouth, but if that was the worst thing to come from today? Yeah, I was good with that.

  We took turns in the shower, changed into gym shorts, and collapsed into the guest room bed.

  I switched off the light and rolled toward Dom. “Oh man.” I nestled against his side. “Today was fun, but I’m wiped.”

  “Same.”

  “Did you have fun today? I mean, even though it was stupid hot and the cake sucked.”

  Dom released a melodramatic sigh. “Well, I mean, I guess I can get over the cake.”

  “The next one will be better, I promise. My aunt is a total snob when it comes to baked goods, so there’s no way she’ll let my cousin have a cake like…that.”

  “Good. Because if there’s two weddings in a row with manure piles posing as cakes, I will make a scene.”

  I snorted. “I’d pay to see that.”

  “Tell your cousin to have a shitty cake, and you won’t have to pay a cent.”

  “Tempting. Very tempting.”

  “Vic…”

  “I’m kidding.” I patted his chest. “Don’t worry—it’ll be a good one.”

  “Better be,” he pouted playfully. “And to be serious, I really did have a good time today. Your family’s great.”

  “Glad to hear it.” I exhaled. “I actually like weddings. Just not really in the mood for them this year.”

  “Can’t imagine why,” he muttered and held me a little tighter.

  We lay in silence for a minute or two before I asked, “Do you think you’ll ever get married?”

  “Don’t know.” Dom absently ran his fingers up and down my arm. “I’m not in a big hurry for it, but if the right person came along…” He half shrugged, moving only the shoulder I wasn’t lying on. “Maybe? What about you?”

  “I’d like to someday. But it’s tough, you know? Finding the right person?”

  He sighed, still trailing featherlight touches along my skin. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

  We were both quiet for a moment. I thought he might be drifting off—it had been a long day after all—or maybe he was lost in thought about the trials and tribulations of finding a partner.

  Then he spoke out of the blue: “If I ever get married, I totally want BB-8 as a ring bearer.”

  I laughed. “Oh my God! That would be the most amazing thing ever!”

  “Right?” There was a smile in Dom’s voice. “So I guess when I find someone who’s down with a droid in the wedding party, I’ll know I’ve found my soulmate.”

  “I could think of worse litmus tests.” I couldn’t help grinning. “You know what I want when I get married?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I saw this cake topper once with a groom trying to escape and the bride dragging him back. And I just—” I snorted. “I want one of those big layered cakes, just covered in cake toppers like that. I don’t care if they’re two dudes, two women, or a mix—but all kinds of brides and grooms trying to escape. I want it to look like a mass escape from the Alcatraz of cakes.”

  By the time I finished speaking, Dom was vibrating with laughter. We both broke into giggles.

  “That would be amazing,” he said, still laughing. “Have them sticking out the sides too, and—”

  “Yes, exactly! Or like some on the table so it looks like they got away.”

  He was still chuckling as he said, “You better invite me so I can take a million pictures of that.”

  “Invite you? Dude, you better be there.” I patted his chest. “In fact, I’ll take you with me to sample the cakes.”

  He inhaled sharply. “Yesss, please.”

  “Figured you’d be onboard.”

  He laughed as he rubbed my arm. “You know me too well.”

  I smiled into the darkness. It wasn’t just cuddling that I’d been missing since the dark days of Max. I missed being with someone who I could lie awake with, talking about whatever ridiculous thing came to mind, and they’d just go with it. If I’d tried to have this conversation with Max, he’d have snorted derisively and told me to go to sleep.

  Not Dom. From day one, we’d been able to banter effortlessly.

  Now if I could just find someone like Dom as a boyfriend, I’d be all set.

  Closing my eyes, I cuddled closer to him.

  Maybe someday.

  For tonight, I couldn’t complain.

  Chapter 8

  Dom

  “Victor!” a woman’s panicked voice called out as we got out of the car. “Oh thank God!” A frazzled-looking lady in a pastel blue dress trotted across the dry grass, holding up her skirt and barely staying upright in those shoes. “I am so glad you’re here!”

  Vic glanced at me, his face full of bewilderment, before turning to the woman. “Why? What’s going on?”

  “Come inside.” She skidded to a halt beside him and grabbed his elbow. “Lydia needs you. Like now.”

  “Uh…” He shot me a helpless look, but she was already tugging him across the lawn. “Okay? What’s… um…”

  “Should I come too?” I called after them.

  Vic beckoned for me to follow as he broke into a jog to keep up with the woman.

  I hurried after them. We had just pulled into the crowded parking lot in front of the ranch when the lady had approached, and now she was taking us up to the gigantic colonial style house on the other side of the lawn. Her heels and his dress shoes clomped on the front
porch stairs. A second later, so did mine.

  I caught up to them in the immense foyer, and as they headed up the stairs, heard the plaintive sobs of a very, very upset woman. Alarm had me taking the steps two at a time, which had me right on Vic’s heels.

  In the hallway, three young women in matching blue bridesmaids’ dresses stood outside an open doorway, looking worried.

  “There’s no way to fix this!” the distressed voice came from beyond the doorway. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

  The woman who’d summoned us stepped into the room, half-dragging Vic with her. “Lydia, honey. I’ve got someone who can help.”

  I hesitated before peeking into the room, not wanting to accidentally intrude on someone who was getting dressed. Everyone appeared to be clothed, though, and stood in the giant bedroom around a seated and very upset bride.

  And it didn’t take a genius to figure out why she was upset or why they came looking for Vic: her hair was a disaster. One side looked fine. She was a natural redhead, and beautiful auburn hair tumbled over her left shoulder in a series of shining spiral curls.

  On the right, most of if did the same, minus a very thick and very conspicuous clump that ended at her ear and was badly singed on the ends.

  “She burned my hair off!” the poor girl wailed. “She burned my hair off on my wedding day! What the fuck can he do?”

  Vic went around in front of her chair and crouched, looking right in her eyes with an earnest expression. “I can fix this. I promise.”

  She sniffled. “How? Tape it back on?”

  He smiled and patted her hand. “Trust me—I’ve done more with less. My baby sister destroyed her hair with a cheap dye job the night before prom, and I sent her in looking like a princess.”

  The bride studied him, then softly said, “Really?”

  Vic’s smile broadened. He gave her hand another pat, then straightened. To the other women in the room, he started rattling off things he needed. Some kind of brush, what I assumed was some hairspray, the bride’s veil if she had one. Everyone sort of froze and stared at him, and he gave a sharp double clap. “Let’s go!”

  Instantly, everyone scattered except him, the bride, and me.

  “Are you sure you can do this?” she asked.

  I cleared my throat, and when she turned to me, I said, “This guy’s a miracle worker with hair. You’re in good hands.”

  She looked back and forth between us, still obviously uneasy, but less panicked than she’d been a moment ago.

  To Vic, I said, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Nah, I’ve got this.” He turned to the bride and winked. “She’s got exactly the kind of hair I love to work with.”

  “Half-burned and still smoking?” she asked wryly.

  “No—thick and healthy.” He gestured at the right side. “That, my dear, is nothing more than a minor setback.”

  That relaxed her a little more, and as she released a long breath, she finally smiled for real.

  The other women started trickling back in with everything he’d asked for. As they did, I motioned for Vic to join me out in the hall. “Do you, um, want me to go join everyone else? So you don’t have me hovering over your shoulder?” I didn’t bother asking if he needed help; when it came to hair, Vic just needed everyone out of the way.

  He put a hand on my elbow. “You know I don’t mind if you’re here, but she might be less stressed if there’s a smaller crowd.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  “Will you be all right?” His brow pinched. “I’m basically throwing you out there with a bunch of strangers.”

  “Some of them were at your sister’s wedding, right?”

  “Some, yeah.”

  “I’ll be fine.” I nodded past him. “Go work your magic.”

  He flashed me a smile, and we went our separate ways. As I headed down the stairs, I heard him exclaim, “All right, sweetheart. Prepare to become a Disney princess.”

  I chuckled to myself and continued outside. Admittedly, I wondered how in the world he’d salvage her burned hair, but if anyone could do it, it was Vic.

  Not only did I have the ultimate faith in his hairstyling abilities, I loved how he’d immediately gone in and confidently declared he could and would fix it. No questions. No frowning over it. No wondering out loud who had done what to the poor girl’s hair. Straight to I’ve got you, honey. That was Vic in a nutshell, and I had no doubt she’d be stunning once he was done with her.

  While he worked his magic upstairs, I went back across the lawn to the car. Vic had the keys, but he hadn’t even had a chance to lock it before he’d been dragged away, so I opened the backseat to get the gift. Then I followed a steady trickle of people into the enormous white barn.

  The ceremony itself was to be held in the grassy field beyond the barn, so everyone had to walk through to get there. An area in the aisleway had been designated for gifts, the guestbook, and coat check. Not that anyone wore a coat to an outdoor wedding in Eastern goddamned Washington in the dead of summer—no tuxes at this wedding, thank God—but it was a safe place for purses and whatnot.

  That was where I ran into Vic’s parents. Karen was signing in her large handbag while Paul waited off to the side.

  He saw me first. “Oh, hey.” He extended his hand. “Good to see you again, Dom.”

  I nodded as we shook hands. “You too.”

  “It’s good to see you, sweetheart.” Karen opted for a hug and kissed my cheek. Then she looked around. “Where’s Vic?”

  I gestured over my shoulder. “He’s in the house. I guess one of the brides needed help with her hair.”

  Paul chuckled. “They know who to ask, don’t they?”

  “Yeah, they do,” I said. “If anyone can fix it, it’s him.”

  “That’s the truth,” Karen said. “Well, while you’re waiting, let me introduce you to Vic’s aunt.” She looped her arm through my elbow. “I’ve been telling her all about this lovely gentleman my son’s dating, and she’ll be thrilled to meet you.”

  I let her lead me outside, and I smiled despite the sudden uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. In a weird way, I’d actually forgotten I was here pretending to be Vic’s boyfriend. I just tried not to linger too long on whether it was the boyfriend part I’d forgotten…or the pretending part.

  ~*~

  The ceremony was coming up fast, and I hadn’t seen heads or tails of Vic. I considered texting him a few times but figured if he was still dealing with the bride’s hair, the last thing he needed was a distraction.

  So I waited. I visited with the relatives I’d met at the last wedding—mostly Corbin, Vic’s newly minted brother-in-law. Vic still wasn’t completely sold on the guy, but I really liked him. We found a shady spot on the lawn where guests were milling around, and we shot the breeze about some upcoming movies and a few that had come out in the last few months. At some point, he admitted he was more of a Star Trek guy than a Star Wars guy, so yeah maybe he did suck after all. We switched gears and talked about Marvel movies instead, and that kept us going until—finally—Vic came strolling through the barn.

  I bowed out of my conversation with Corbin and met Vic by the tables where wineglasses were being filled. “So, you were able to fix her hair?”

  “Oh yeah.” He waved his hand just before he reached for a glass. “Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. She mostly just needed someone to tell her it wasn’t the end of the world and that we could totally fix it.”

  “But how do you fix something like that?”

  Vic just smiled as he brought his wineglass to his lips. “You’ll see.”

  Yeah, I would, and I didn’t have to wait long. Less than twenty minutes after Vic had joined me, everyone started heading for the white folding chairs that had been arranged in the shade of a massive tree behind the barn. Shortly after that, the ceremony began.

  The brides didn’t want to see each other until the ceremony, and they were carefully sequestered in
the tack rooms on opposite sides of the barn aisle. When the processional started, the bridesmaids came out of the barn’s wide back door—yellow dresses from the left, blue from the right—and followed the path up to the altar in pairs.

  Then the first bride—Vic’s cousin Kelley—stepped out.

  She was beautiful, and obviously related to him. Her strawberry blonde hair was a few shades darker than his, and aside from a few ringlets framing her wide smile, it had been pulled up into a coiled braid. She had one of those veils that started just above her neck and fell down her back rather than covering her face, and in her hand was a bouquet of huge white lilies.

  “Can you believe I used to play in the mud and catch frogs with her?” Vic whispered.

  I chuckled. If I’d just seen her on her own, I might have doubted she’d ever had a frog-catching phase, but knowing her cousin and how quickly he could go from Star Wars nerd chic to looking suave in a tux? Yeah, I could buy that.

  She continued past everyone, and then we all turned as her bride emerged from the other room.

  My jaw actually dropped. I had seen with my own eyes the things Vic could do with someone’s hair, but even my breath caught as Lydia started down the path. Her dark red hair still tumbled over her shoulders, but at the top, braids extended from her temples around to the back. On the side where the disaster had occurred, Vic had also tucked a flower into her hair—not a red rose from her own bouquet, but a lily just like those her bride was carrying. Even as she passed by and I could see behind the flower, there was no sign that there’d ever been a problem. The braid looked smooth and unblemished, the burned ends deftly hidden in the pleats.

  “She looks great,” I whispered to Vic. “The flower’s a nice touch.”

  “She doesn’t even need it, but it made her worry less that the damage was visible.” He glanced at me with a sweet smile. “And when we suggested using a flower from her fiancée’s bouquet, she started crying again because she thought it was such a sweet idea.”

  “It is a sweet idea.”

  He blushed. I gave his shoulder a little nudge, and he returned it. We exchanged smiles, then faced forward to watch the couple get married.