French Wanker : A Hero Cub Novel

by Victoria Pinder

  I thought of Kara and how I’d missed her today. “Yes. Is that why you called?”

  “No. I hope you’re happy, and I wanted to apologize for pushing that lawsuit so far, after Cecelia…”

  “You were fine,” I said fast. I get she’d loved her sister. I’d been happy with Cecilia, as she fit into a life I thought I wanted.

  “I was in grief, and I blamed you.”

  I swallowed and old guilt spoke first. “I didn’t catch what was wrong fast enough.”

  “Her doctors said it spread so fast, and you caught it as soon as you could. She never complained, and I was wrong to force you to listen to my parents and family all blame you.”

  Forgiveness was like another stone I hadn’t expected to find. “It’s okay. I loved Cecilia and wished there had been something I could have done differently.”

  “She’d want you to help as many people as you can.”

  A few weeks ago, I’d asked Desiree to let this go, and she’d refused. I’d spiraled and sold my practice. Now I hadn’t needed to hear that, but I took a deep breath and said, “Thanks for calling, Desiree.”

  “Au Revoir.”

  “Oui. Au Revoir.” Then I hung up the phone.

  My old life was completely over now, and my new life in Saint-Cyr-sur-Mer was set to start. All that was missing was my heart.

  If Kara said yes, then I’d have everything I’d truly wanted.

  Chapter 18

  Kara

  Packing took forever. I wasn’t even sure Quentin was worth the risk.

  My old boss had called to offer my position back, but I’d said no. Instead, I bought tickets, put my house up for sale, and I didn’t even know his phone number. Or if Quentin wanted more than a few days with me.

  I had an address from the receipt from the hotel.

  If he said no, I’d have to move on with my life.

  If he said yes, well, then I’d live in his small town in France with Quentin. So, there was no need to come back.

  Packing took longer than I’d hoped, but finally, I had the tickets and my entire life fit in a few suitcases and a few boxes for storage to be shipped to me.

  My furniture was gone, and now all my real estate agent needed was the keys.

  And I’d head to the airport.

  God, I hope he was for real. If not. I’d have to deal, but it was time to put my heart on the line.

  I’d never been good enough for him, but I never took this chance either. Love was worth taking a risk, even if he slammed the door in my face and said I wasn’t worthy of him.

  I put my bags by the front door as the garage door closed.

  This was the last time Sabrina would come in with her clicker for my house. She carried two cups of coffee and handed me one.

  Everything was now in place. We’d close the door with the code, and I was done.

  “Sabrina, thanks for driving me.” I put my cup down next to hers, walked her to my rather large bags, and dropped the clicker in the envelope for the realtor. As I sealed it and left it on the kitchen counter, the doorbell rang.

  I stared at Sabrina and wondered if she planned something. “No problem… are you expecting your family or something?”

  There went that theory. My sisters had said goodbye yesterday. I walked to the door, and my face felt tight. “It’s Marlon.”

  Sabrina crossed her arms. “Let’s just get in the car and go.”

  And have him follow me again? I ignored the tension in my body. “No. Let me tell him to leave.”

  Sabrina became glued to my side. “I’ll go with you.”

  The second I opened it, a nip in the air caused goosebumps, and I wish I had my jacket on. After what I saw in Monte Carlo, backup might be good. “Marlon, what are you doing here?”

  I stared into the wrong brown eyes of a man in his black peacoat, and my shoulders slumped.

  “I came to apologize,” he said. “Can I come in?”

  I held the door firm, and Sabrina was right behind me. I shook my head. “We’re leaving. It’s not a good time.”

  He gave a curt acceptance, and his hands went into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have drunk so much when I went to see you. I was so angry about your fling.”

  Fling wasn’t how I’d describe Quentin. It’s why I dismissed him, but these past few days I’d craved him.

  I’d never missed the man in front of me like this. I let out a small sigh. “What I do with my life doesn’t matter to you.”

  He reached for my hand, but I took it back. “It does. I was a fool because I loved you.”

  No spark rushed inside me. I held the doorknob. “Goodbye, Marlon.”

  He asked fast, “That’s it?”

  I stood taller. “Yeah, it is. I’m not in love with you, but good luck. Next time you’re planning a wedding, don’t cancel.”

  He asked, “Where are you going?”

  Sabrina tapped my back. “Don’t answer. Close the door, Kara. Goodbye, Marlon.”

  I nodded. “Goodbye.” And then I did as Sabrina recommended. I stood at the door and heard Marlon’s steps on my front door porch.

  Good, he was gone. We headed into the kitchen, and I settled.

  I should have told Quentin I loved him. I hadn’t realized it till I’d been alone and fucking missed him, hard.

  And it wasn’t only sex I missed. It was his seriousness when he wasn’t meaning to be. It was just him.

  I found my passport, checked my bags and the tickets.

  Sabrina said, “Let’s get your bags in the car.”

  I glanced around my home for the last time but realized I’d never once cooked for anyone other than Sabrina here.

  Maybe next time I thought about buying anything, I’d not rush into a life I wasn’t ready for.

  Or I could fly into Quentin’s arms and never leave again.

  I liked the second option better, but there was a lesson in this house.

  I reached for my bag but then heard another knock. “Someone’s at the door again.”

  Sabrina glowered. “Seriously? We told him to get lost.”

  I squared my shoulders and walked back to the door. My heart beat faster this time like I needed adrenaline to scream, but then as I flung open the door, I stared into the right brown eyes. “Quentin.”

  He took a step in, and once again my body melted. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

  I’d pictured going to him a million ways, but him showing up in Pittsburgh somehow made him more real.

  I couldn’t look away, even though there was a slight burst of my bubble when Sabrina called out, “Guess the trip is canceled!”

  My bare house wasn’t something I expected to discuss. I rubbed my temples and waved behind me to my best friend. “Quentin, this is Sabrina.”

  He shook her hand, and I looped my arms around his forearm. He glanced at me. “Can I have a minute alone with you?”

  We had the same thoughts. I nodded and pointed to the steps. “Yes. Of course. Come upstairs.”

  Sabrina headed in, hopefully, to drink her coffee and wait so we could sort out what happened.

  I was aware Quentin was behind me though, and my hips swung a little more.

  My mind couldn’t place why he’d be here, though. I was in a haze as I guided him to my bedroom that didn’t have a bed anymore as I’d given every piece of furniture to charity this morning.

  He closed the door and awareness rushed through me of him. I swallowed. “Kara, I bought a practice in Saint-Cyr-sur-Mer.”

  That explained nothing, but I was trembling on the inside. I rocked a little but stared up at him. “Quentin, I was about to fly to France and find you.”

  He took my hands, and there it was. My nerve endings sparked into my soul, and I knew I needed to tell him everything.

  “You were?”

  A tear escaped my eye. He was here, and that was all that should matter. “You can say no, but I wanted to tell you…”

  I love you.

  The words did
n’t come easy; I wasn’t sure I should love him.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist. “I flew to Pittsburgh to tell you I love you and want you with me. I don’t think my license transfers to the American system as easily.”

  He loved me? Every cell in my body jumped. I’d absolutely not take him from his world, and I shouted, “No!”

  “I misunderstood,” he said and let me go.

  I tugged his belt loop. I let him think the wrong thing and needed to fix that, too. I clearly couldn’t think near him. “I was fast. I meant I’ll move with you. There is nothing here to keep me. I already sold everything to have a chance and tell you I’m not worthy, but I want to be.”

  His face turned red, but he held me again. “Not worthy?”

  “I choose the wrong men and bad careers.”

  “Kara, you’re perfect for me. I’d never been myself, except with you.”

  “Me too. I finished sorting out my life, and I realized I was a coward who hadn’t let her heart decide. I’m done now. I had more stuff than I expected, and it was cheaper to just buy another ticket.”

  Stop rambling! I laughed, and that didn’t help as he stared at me confused.

  His lips lowered to mine. “So, will you marry me?”

  I closed my eyes. “Yes. I love you and want to marry you, if that’s what you want.”

  “I want. I love you, too,” he said, and then his lips met mine.

  My hands wrapped in his thick dark hair, and I knew I was with the right man.

  No one else had ever made me have chills rushing in my veins.

  As the kiss ended, I rested my head on his shoulder. I wasn’t ready to let him go, but the air of the drafty house calmed me down. “Come. Let’s go tell Sabrina the trip is off?”

  He didn’t let me go right away, and I had butterflies in my stomach. “You said you’d move to France and build a life there?”

  This was crazy, but my dream of him was coming true. “Yes, but you’ll have to teach me French. I took Spanish in high school, not that I remember anything. And my sisters are all super busy right now, but they said they’d fly over for the holidays.”

  Rambling was not your new normal. I rolled my shoulders like that might make this feeling go away.

  He squeezed my ass. “I will happily help you with française.”

  I smiled. This was better than I ever thought possible. “Then let’s go.”

  “You want to fly today?”

  I wish there was something here for us. I had nothing now. “I quit my job, and it’s going to take six months for any visa to happen. Might as well let the countdown begin, but we can get a hotel if you want.”

  “We can go,” he said and offered his hand at the top of the step. “My grand-mére wants to meet you.”

  His family sounded wonderful. “Okay, but let’s not talk about our bedroom activities.”

  I stopped. My friend probably heard that.

  Quentin continued. “She’ll probably offer pointers, but yes, let’s not ask for trouble.” As we made it to the bottom step. “Can I borrow your phone?”

  “Of course,” I said and handed it over.

  “Can I see your ticket?” I pulled up my wallet app and showed him. He nodded. “Let me upgrade you to first class, and you can still bring your friend, so she knows you’re safe. Is she on the same reservation?”

  “Yes,” I said, and he kissed my cheek and called the airline. I returned to the kitchen and squealed to my friend. “Sabrina, Quentin and I are getting married!”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I’m so happy for you. I guess today’s trip is off.”

  I pointed behind me as he walked past the door well. “No. Quentin’s on the phone getting himself a ticket and upgrading ours to first class.”

  Her eyes widened. “First class?”

  His money just made his life sweeter, but that wasn’t important to how I felt. I lowered my voice. “His family owns this vineyard.”

  She craned her neck to stare behind me. “Seriously, why doesn’t he have a brother for me?”

  We waited. I’d risked everything to go and follow my heart, and he’d walked in the door.

  He gave me a thumbs-up and walked out to help with the bags.

  Putting everything I had on the line for Quentin had been worth it. He loved me, too.

  Chapter 19

  Quentin

  Kara in my arms made my life complete.

  Marriage only completed my life. Walking the fields with her had been good until we came here.

  My parents continued taking Sabrina on the tour, but I guided Kara with me toward the marker.

  As I stared down at the white marble cross with his name on it, I widened my stance. “This is Blake’s grave.”

  She let go of my arm. “I’ll give you a few minutes.”

  I reached for her hand. “No. Stay.”

  Her eyes wrinkled in a cute way. “Are you sure?”

  “Oui.” I nodded, and she pressed her palm in mine. “I need to thank him for helping me find you.”

  I closed my eyes, and for a few minutes I prayed. I liked to believe he heard me.

  Then Kara whispered tentatively, “How?”

  I opened my eyes and stared into her brown hues. “When Cecilia died and I gave up on being a doctor, I realized I had bottled up pain. I blamed myself for his death, until I talked to Simon, and he said Blake knew the life vest was at home.”

  “How did you blame yourself for that?”

  “I was six, and I took the life vest home instead of leaving it on the family boat.”

  “I’m sorry, Quentin.”

  “It’s okay. In finding you, I was able to let go.”

  “He was your brother.”

  I kissed her cheek. “He’d want me to be happy and to find you.” I turned away from the gravesite and stayed at her side. “Yeah. Blake had always tried to protect me. And until recently, I saw myself as a horrible, ungrateful kid.”

  She gently bumped into me. “If he was anything like you, then I’m sure he was amazing.”

  “Let’s go,” I said. We could come back later, but it was time to see my grandmother. I walked with her to the main house as the sun shone over our heads in the full brightness of the day.

  She was beautiful and mine, now and forever. I held open the door for the main house. I heard sounds in the kitchen, and we went in.

  There she was, taking chocolate croissants out of the oven. She placed them on the cooling rack as I said, “Grand-mére this is Kara.”

  She took off her gloves.

  Kara didn’t leave my side. “Quentin said you’ve disapproved of every girl he’s ever brought home.”

  Grand-mére laughed and walked over to us. She studied Kara for a moment. “Only because they seemed self-involved and not wanting to make my only petit fils happy.”

  Kara rocked back and forth nervously. “I hope you see that’s not me then. I hope he remains a doctor.”

  My grandmother nodded. “He mentioned how you encouraged him. It’s why I told him to go find you and bring you home.”

  Her shoulders loosened, and her eyes brightened. “So, that’s why he showed up?”

  I wasn’t a boy to be bossed around. I squeezed her hand. “No. I showed up because I love you, Kara.”

  Grand-mére’s eyes welled up with visible tears. “I’m excited to see you wed.”

  Kara sniffled. “Does that mean you approve?”

  Grand-mére wiped her eyes. “Does it matter?

  “No.” This wasn’t a moment for tears.

  She then hugged Kara. “Well, I do, in case you want to know.”

  For a moment both women ignored me, but then they let go. I took Kara’s hand and said, “See you later, Grand-mére.”

  I placed my hand on Kara’s lower back and guided her out or we’d never leave. Grand-mére waved as we left. “I’m looking forward to seeing you both.”

  We both waved back at her and headed out the door.

  We�
�d circulated the family farm, and now we could be alone.

  It was time. We walked back to my house that she hadn’t seen, but once we cleared the lawn of my parents, she said, “We’ll have to work out how I can legally stay in France, so we can plan the wedding.”

  My Kara was a planner. It’d be my job in life to remind her to unwind.

  “We’ll get married right away.”

  A huge smile grew on her face. “That still leaves me six months without working. I’ve not been at home, not doing anything since I was in school, and even then, I filled my day with activities.”

  We neared my house, and I winked. “We’ll be filling each other.”

  She laughed. “Mr. Wanker wants to play.”

  She stepped inside and turned on a light. I followed and closed the door. “I’ve not had you in my house.”

  Her eyebrows widened. “No one will interrupt?”

  I pointed behind myself. “I locked the door.”

  “One second,” she said and strutted around the house like she was looking for something.

  We made it to my blue couch and blue chairs, in front of my working fireplace in the winter and my white and blue Persian rug. This was good.

  To romance her, I flipped on the gas fireplace and then kissed her neck.

  She stopped moving and moaned as she let me feel her breasts and waist while I continued with her neck. She sighed. “Fuck, you’re turning me on.”

  I found the hem of her shirt and lifted it from her waistband. “That’s the point.”

  She closed her eyes, and I nibbled on her ear as I ran my fingers up and down her body. She turned toward me, and I rubbed her face slightly in my quest to claim her lips. Then her mouth was presented to me like it was my birthday, and I pressed harder.

  I needed Kara like I needed water.

  She sighed and stroked my hair as she urged me on. I continued to ravage her lips, needing her addicting kisses, and pinched her nipples to see if she was ready.

  Her pebbles were already hard.

  It was just the two of us now and forever. I caressed her abs, lifting her simple white T-shirt while I continued to taste her oral offering.

  I stopped only to toss the shirt away, and I noticed her face was already reddened with desire.