by J. M. Witt
“James?” Dr. Pratt was awaiting my answer.
“I never wanted kids, at least I didn’t think I did. But when it all happened; I’d never wanted anything more.” She tangled her hand with mine and leaned into me.
“So it’s safe to say you both want kids. When? I’d suggest giving yourself time as a couple before you become parents, but I know every couple has to decide on their own.” He looked to us and added, “Think about it. We’ll discuss that next week. Our time’s almost up.”
As we stood to leave, he suggested Cassidy make an appointment to see him, alone. She was open to it and once they found a time that fit both their schedules, we headed out.
~<>~<>~<>~
That weekend was Jane’s bachelorette party and Cal’s bachelor party. They were originally planning a joint event, but Cassidy and I had convinced them—well Jane since I wasn’t quite speaking with Cal yet—to at least go to dinner separately. Even though Cassidy was standing up for Cal and me for Jane, she went out with the girls and me with the guys. I tried to get out of it, knowing that Paul would be there and I didn’t want to bring any unnecessary tension to the party.
“You can’t not go, James. They’ll know you’re avoiding them.”
Sighing, I knew Jane was right. “Take Smith and I’ll take Delaney.”
“I can’t just invite someone.”
Jane said, “Yes, you can. Cassidy, invite Delaney. Melissa is coming, too. More the merrier.” Cassidy had agreed and promised she’d stay in touch via text when the time came.
Hearing that Melissa was going and Cassidy hadn’t objected surprised me. Though, she’d mentioned that their work relationship was going really well. Cassidy got off the phone with Delaney and spouted, “It’s done!”
The girls were going to The Benedict lounge for dinner and then planned to hit the town. I waited with Cassidy and Jane at the townhouse until Smith and Delaney pulled up. The girls hopped in Cassidy’s mustang as I gave her a warning stare.
She just laughed as she burned rubber while pulling out of the driveway. Jane and Delaney’s squeals sailing out the open windows. Smith clapped my shoulder before we climbed into his vehicle. When we got to Cal’s, Paul’s SUV was parked out front. Work had been a breeze since he was on site all week at the house or the Blue Horse. Last we’d spoken was when he’d put in his notice. I really should have started looking for his replacement, but hadn’t.
We walked in the open door and I recognized Paul, Frank and some other guys from the force. Dave was there, too. He walked over to me and shook my hand. We exchanged hellos, but he didn’t interrogate me like I had expected. I had every intention of doing right by his daughter, though I’d told him that before and broken my word.
Gripping my shoulder and with a lowered voice he said, “Relax James. I’ve talked with Cassidy. I just want you two to work it out and I hope you do.” I looked to my father-in-law as he smiled at me, shocked at his words. “I like having you around. Mostly cuz it makes Cassidy happy, but because it irks Cal. I enjoy it.” He winked and we shared a laugh.
“I never intended to ‘irk’ him. But if it makes you happy, I’ll see what I can do.”
He let out a boisterous laugh that gained the attention of everyone there. Cal was clearly irked. “See, working already.”
Frank took the lead, “Alright boys. Let’s head out. We’re headed to Duke’s for dinner. Where the rest of the night leads, we’ll find out. Load ‘em up!”
I had no idea how it happened, but I think Dave had something to do with it. Cal and Paul ended up with Smith and me in Smith’s vehicle. To say it was uncomfortable was an understatement. Thank God the restaurant wasn’t a long drive. Cal and Paul talked about Cal’s job while I played on my phone. Smith turned the radio on. I was oblivious to the song until the lyrics started to sink in. Sleeping with a Friend by Neon Trees was playing and silence filled the vehicle. Glancing in the rearview mirror, Cal was glaring at me and then at Paul.
“Simmer down everyone. That shit’s funny.” Everyone looked to Smith as he turned and grinned at all of us. “You fuckers need to lighten up. First rounds on me!”
“You’re a dick.”
I recognized Paul’s laughter as he chastised Smith. “Not a dick, a Frank-n-weiner, right Frankie? You got us. Douchebag.”
“Don’t call me Frankie!”
“That’s right. I apologize. It’s Francis, right?” Cal looked confused as Paul and I started cracking up. Smith tried reaching through to the back seat to slug Paul as I yelled at him to watch the road.
Looking at Cal I revealed Smith’s secret. “His name is Francis, Smith is his last name. Guys in the Army liked to call him Frankie just to piss him off.”
Cal chuckled and looked to Smith. “Frankie huh? I’ll remember that. Frank is fortunate that his parents named him Franklin, not Francis!”
Dinner was uneventful as we had a few rounds and filled our guts with too much food. When we left the restaurant, Dave walked to his car, encouraging us ‘boys’ to have fun, but to behave. I watched Dave drive off as Cal walked over toward me.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” His hands were in his pockets as he lifted his chin, standing as tall as he could, but not taller than me. “You in this, like really in this?”
“Why do I have a feeling you’re not referring to this night out?”
“You know I’m not referring to this night. I’m referring to my sister.”
I glanced Smith and Paul a few feet away as they discreetly observed Cal and me talking privately. “I owe all of you an apology. But I’m not going to make excuses or explain my reasoning for the things I did, to you.” The cop in him had him scrutinizing me as I continued. “I love her, Cal. I thought she was better off. Maybe she was, but I wasn’t. I don’t work right when she’s not around.” I refused to disclose anything more unless he asked specifically.
Nodding, “I get it. I know you’ve done a lot for her. Just don’t make me bash in your face again.”
“Well, if I deserve it, I expect it to be you.”
He chuckled as we shook hands. “Paul’s really messed up about this.” His eyes darted to where Paul stood. I sighed as he informed me that Paul had told him about Cora. “I love Paul like a brother, but my sister’s happiness is most important. I hope you all figure it out and friendships aren’t lost.”
“I hear you. It won’t be easy.”
“It’s funny, now that I have all the pieces, I know that it was Cassidy who changed him all those years ago. The guy I met after basic training wouldn’t have stepped up with Cora, but he did and I know it’s because of my sister.” I watched as he seemed to be reflecting on what might have been. “Don’t take her for granted. He’s proof that things can change in the blink of an eye.”
“All right shitheads,” Smith strolled over, “enough of the bullshit. We’ve got some things in store for this man. The titties await.”
“No man. I don’t need or want strippers.”
“No way man. It’s not a bachelor party till you get at least one lap dance.” I laughed as Frank and the guys from the force taunted Cal until he gave in.
“Alright. ONE lap dance. That’s it.”
We didn’t stay long at the strip club and Paul, Smith and I barely took notice of the chicks trolling around us. I was too busy texting back and forth with Cassidy. They had just left the restaurant, heading out to go dancing. She’d let it slip where they were going, the same bar we went to on her birthday the previous fall. I knew Cal wanted to go out dancing with Jane and decided to use the information to my advantage.
We were in the parking lot outside the strip club when I said, “I know a place. Nice bar, good music, laid back.”
Cal chimed in, “I’m in. Lead the way Benedict!”
We drove back to the respectable part of town, parked the cars and walked the few blocks to the bar. We all cozied up to the bar, ordering our drinks. It was the first time I saw Cal drink more than a few drinks. Who was
I to judge? He deserved to have a good time. I kept my eyes out for the girls and spotted them in the back corner on the dance floor. No one else seemed to notice as we headed toward some barren space on the other side of the bar.
From what I could see across the dark expanse of the crowded bar, all the girls were there. Lena, Cassidy, Melissa, Delaney, Jessica, Jane and a few more girls I didn’t recognize. Ha! Anthony was there, too. They were dancing to some song I didn’t recognize that kept repeating Boom, Clap over and over. It was annoying, but they seemed to know all the words. I enjoyed watching her. She was carefree, happy and seemed to be in her element. She had a drink in her hand as they all swayed to their liking, though my eyes were fixated on her.
Like she could sense my eyes on her, she turned as her eyes searched the crowd. Leaning against the wall, I waited for her eyes to lock with mine as I took a swig of my beer. She paused momentarily, before her smile beamed at me. She didn’t say anything to the other girls, just kept dancing knowing that I was watching her. The song ended and another began as she pretended to ignore me. I wasn’t sure if she knew we were all there or not.
Dammit! Smith, that pussy-whipped fucker, was already dancing with Delaney. Why the fuck weren’t they married? They might as well have been. They were like love sick puppies and had been for years. It was inspiring and depressing all at once. Cal strolled over to me as he spotted Jane.
“Well played man.”
I looked at him as I took another swallow of my beer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah. Whatever.” He took a drink of his ale and said, “Thanks. I’m going to go request a song. I’ll be back.”
I nodded as my eyes went back to Cassidy. I was surprised to see her and Melissa laughing and talking with one another. Looking to my left, I spotted Paul sulking. We needed to find him a woman, STAT. Just then, Lena came over. She looked nervous as she approached Paul. Did Lena have a thing for Paul? Huh. More power to her.
A new song started as the dance floor emptied. A country song began to play as the girls headed back to their table. As Jane turned, Cal was standing there, hand outstretched. She beamed at him before she jumped in his arms. Not one to be showed up, I put down my empty bottle and made my way over to Cassidy.
When I reached her, I offered her my hand and she chirped, “I thought you hated Country?”
“I do. But I hate you more.” I winked as she laughed and took my hand. I pulled her close as we rocked to the rhythm.
“This may be the Best Night Ever. JB3 dancing to country music and all.” She giggled and whispered in my ear that it was the name of the song.
As I swung her around to the beat, I spotted Lena walking away from Paul as he moped some more. Ryan, who I hadn’t realized was there—he must’ve been Cassidy’s tail that night—swooped in and asked Lena to dance. She smiled as they joined us on the floor. I maneuvered Cassidy around so that we weren’t right in Paul’s line of sight. I held her close, enjoying the feel of her soft curves against my body. When the song ended, she started to pull away, but I kept her close.
She nuzzled back into me asking, “You ok.”
Stroking her hair I nuzzled her temple, “Perfect. Just enjoying the moment.”
As the night started to come to a close, we all walked back to our separate cars, those of us that were left. Melissa had already left and so had Frank and Paul and the guys from the force. Paul had been in no shape to drive and I hoped he’d found a ride or called a cab. The four of us, Jane, Cal, Cassidy and I ended up riding home in Cassidy’s mustang.
Snuggling up to her before we got in the car, I offered up my suggestion. “Why don’t you drop me off at your place first so I can get my truck and go home.”
Scrunching her brows, she protested. “Why?”
“Cassidy, you know why. Let’s not push the boundaries.” She took a deep breath as I continued, “You know I want nothing more than to spend more time with you. But it’s late.”
“I know. How many days left?” She smirked at me and my cock twitched.
Leaning into her ear, I said, “Careful. I’m starting to worry you just want to make it through these twenty-eight days so you can fuck me again.” She pulled back and narrowed her eyes at me. “I want you back in my bed, but only if it’s forever, Blackbird.”
I kissed her cheek as Cal proclaimed, “Get a room!” Cassidy rolled her eyes as Cal added, “Or at least take Jane and I home first.”
“Shut up and get in the car!” We all laughed at Jane’s order as the two of them crawled in the back seat.
“There’s not enough room. Here baby doll, sit on my lap.” The door shut and their voices were drowned out.
“You’re really going to make me ride home with the two of them making out in the back seat?”
“Yup. You can do it.”
“Have I told you lately that I hate you?” I just shook my head at her, smiling. “Well, I do.” She pushed me away as I smacked her ass and watched her get in the car.
Cal and Jane seemed a little confused when Cassidy dropped me off first. I was tempted to stay and surprise her, but we didn’t need any more temptation. I hopped in my truck and headed to the hotel. It was well after two a.m. and we could all use some sleep.
~ CASSIDY ~
I crawled into bed that night exhausted and craving him. What else was new? Cal had inquired about why I’d dropped James off first, but Jane quickly distracted him. I just told him to mind his own business. Their wedding was two weeks away and I still had so much to do. I knew that it would get done, but the next two weeks would be a whirlwind of final prep. Programs, seating charts, song lists, and the list went on and on.
~<>~<>~<>~
That Tuesday I had my second private appointment with Dr. Pratt, followed by a joint session with James. I left work early to make it on time and recalled our session from the week prior. He’d asked me about my childhood and we’d spent most of the time discussing my relationship with my mother, or lack thereof. I was sure that we’d pick up where we left off when I got there that afternoon.
I waited in the library for a short time before Dr. Pratt was ready for me. I sat down on my usual spot on the couch and we exchanged some pleasantries before he picked up back with my mother.
“So, last week we left off just after your mother’s death.” I nodded. “You mentioned that you took her death pretty hard. Can you tell me about that?”
I sighed. “A few months later I ended up in the hospital, having my stomach pumped.” He gazed at me cautiously as I picked at my fingers. “My dad hadn’t emptied out the medicine cabinet and I found a bottle of my mom’s sleeping pills. I’d started taking one here and there. School was hard for me. I didn’t have a lot of friends and after mom’s death, nobody looked at me the same way. I heard the whispers, ‘There’s Cassidy. Did you hear about her mom?’ It was horrible and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“What happened after that?”
“My Dad found me and I spent a few days in the hospital and went to therapy twice a week, sometimes more. The joke was on me, too.” He looked at me, wanting to know what I had meant by that statement. “The whispers just got worse, but instead it was about how I was crazy, just like her. It was horrible. The only thing that helped was Cal. He was popular and he put a stop to most of it, him and his girlfriend. He was Mister Popular and protected me at all costs.”
“So there was never a relapse or recurrence?”
“No. I went to therapy for several years on and off. Life goes on and I knew that once I got away from those people things would get better. I started counting down the days to high school graduation and my start at a new life. I could be anyone I wanted to be, though I didn’t know who that would be.”
“Do you know who that person is now?”
I blew out a breath. “Do any of us really know who we are?” He smiled. “I’m stubborn, a hard worker, I have a temper, I’m too sensitive, too analytical—clearly because I can’t jus
t answer the question.”
“Well, we’re all a continuous work in progress. If we weren’t trying to better ourselves and learn from our mistakes, what would be the point?”
“Agreed.”
“So, tell me about the first time you met James.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw him.”
Chapter 14 ~ Fireworks
~ CASSIDY ~
Soon our session was over and I headed to the bathroom before James joined us. When I walked out of the bathroom I spotted him. I’d never get over looking at him. He was totally casual in jeans and a t-shirt. His hair was up in a man bun and he was staring out the window. His dark jeans clung to him perfectly as the sleeves of his shirt were pulled taut around his biceps. As the door closed he turned and smiled at me. He’d shaved his beard, but the goatee remained. Damn, he was fine.
“Hey, you.” He walked over and wrapped me in his arms.
And for how hot he was, he smelled a million times better. I took a deep whiff as he squeezed me tight. “Hey yourself.”
“You up for dinner afterward?”
“Yes. Food sounds excellent. I’m starving.”
“You two ready?” We turned at Dr. Pratt’s voice and took our seats on his couch. “So, how’d it go this week?”
“Much better.” Our words were identical and spoken in unison.
“No sex, of any kind.”
I shook my head as James answered, “Only alone.” I smacked his arm as we laughed.
“Well, you’re over half way there. I know next week will be very busy for you, Cassidy. Can we schedule now to meet in two weeks? At that time we’ll discuss where we’re at and you can both make a decision about your marriage. Does that Monday, after the fourth work, say six p.m.?”
