The Nanny's Knickers

by Wren Mingua

  Zoe hitched her shoulder a few times, trying to knock him off. When he finally lifted his head, she said, “I'm one boy's nanny... not two.”

  “You mean my brother forgot to mention me in the job description?” Benjamin asked with a gasp. “Shame on him!”

  Zoe went to the fridge and pulled out a Pepsi. “What does your nephew like to drink?”

  “I have no idea. Anything, I guess.”

  So she grabbed another Pepsi and laid them both on the counter.

  “What... you're not going to ask me what I want to drink?” Ben asked, his lips sagging in a faux frown.

  She pointed at his beer. “I thought you already had one.”

  “True. I forgot.” And with that, Benjamin took another drink. He leaned against the counter again, his eyes fastened on Zoe. More specifically, he was staring at her butt. He thought she had a cute, round little bottom, possibly the cutest he had ever seen. “I think you're terribly adorable,” he blurted.

  “Um... thanks.” She thought he was pretty cute too, but there was no way she was going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. Besides, she really did prefer the company of older men. She didn't think she had it in her to flirt with a guy who was a decade younger than her.

  “Is there a special bloke in your life?” When she didn't say anything, Benjamin added, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

  “No.”

  But there was a “bloke” in her life—last week. She didn't think her new acquaintances needed to know about that. In her opinion, Lewis and Ben were both far too interested in her personal life.

  “I'm single too,” Benjamin said.

  “Good for you.”

  Benjamin's smile widened, which made the dimples appear. He really was impossibly cute. The sight of his dimpled smile made her want to pinch his cheeks.

  The timer went off, so Zoe pulled the pizzas out of the oven. “Is there a pizza cutter around here?” she asked. Benjamin pulled one out of the drawer and handed it over. “Thanks.”

  He watched her cut the pizza, fascinated by her every movement. Her brown ponytail swayed every time she bent over the pizza. “I can see why my brother hired you.”

  She flashed a puzzled look over her shoulder. “Why? Because of my awesome pizza cutting skills?”

  “No.”

  She threw a few slices of pizza onto a plate and held it out to him. If she fed him, maybe he would get out of her hair.

  But she wasn't so lucky. Ben didn't move an inch. He kept leaning against the counter, staring at her as he gobbled down a slice.

  “By the way,” Ben said, speaking with a mouthful of pizza, “Chris is in the game room.”

  “And where's that?”

  “Come on. I'll take you there.”

  She filled two more plates with steaming pizza slices, then she followed Benjamin to the game room. Inside the room, there was a plush sofa, two bean bag chairs, every video game system imaginable, and the biggest television she had ever seen. Rows and stacks of video games cluttered a nearby shelf. It had to be a gamer's heaven.

  When she entered, she didn't see Chris right away because his body was practically swallowed up by one of the bean bag chairs. “Hey, Chris,” she greeted him. “I brought you some pizza.”

  “Okay.” He reached for the pizza plate with one hand, and his other hand kept pounding away at his game controller. Chris put the pizza on his lap, took a huge bite, and had both hands back on the controller in no time.

  “What do you say, Chris?” Ben asked.

  “Huh?” The boy never moved his eyes from the telly.

  Ben swatted the back of his nephew's head, but it didn't seem to phase him. “You should thank the lady!”

  “Thanks,” Chris obligatorily barked. He took another bite of pizza and kept playing his game.

  Zoe sat on the sofa and started eating her pizza. To her dismay, Ben sat down right next to her. He even draped an arm across the back of the couch, which had her feeling encompassed.

  “So, Chris... what are you playing?” Zoe asked, hoping to make conversation. She didn't know the first thing about video games, but she thought she would make an attempt.

  “Nothing.”

  Zoe stared at the television, where a colorful character was dashing across the screen. “It doesn't look like nothing.”

  “Hey, Chris... you're being a prat!” Benjamin admonished him.

  With a roll of his eyes, Chris answered, “It's Zelda.”

  “Oh, cool.” Zoe nibbled on her pizza and watched the screen, where Link hacked and slashed his way through a maze full of giant spiders. “I used to have a boyfriend who'd play those games.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Ben asked. “And what was his name?”

  “Jack.”

  “And what happened to dear old Jack?”

  Zoe grumbled a curse word under her breath. What sort of satisfaction could he possibly derive from grilling her about her exes? “I dunno. We kind of drifted apart. Why are you asking me this?”

  Benjamin shrugged. “Just curious.”

  “What about YOUR ex-girlfriend, Ben? What can you tell me about her? Did you like her? How old was she? What color hair did she have? Where does she live now? Do you ever think about her?”

  Benjamin chuckled, seemingly unaffected by her sarcastic barrage of questions. “She was twenty-one. A blonde. I think she lives in Essex. As for the question do I ever think about her...” Benjamin looked over at Zoe, who he still had wrapped in his arm. “Why in the world would I spare a thought for her when I'm sitting next to someone as fascinating as you?”

  Zoe knew what he was doing. He was toying with her. He was just flirting with her for his own amusement, but it wasn't as if he really liked her. She needed to throw him off his game. “I could have babysat you, you know.”

  “Pardon?”

  “When you were Chris' age, I was eighteen,” Zoe said. “I could have been your nanny.”

  “That's... an interesting thought.” With a grin, he added, “and kind of kinky.”

  Zoe rolled her eyes. So much for trying to turn him off!

  “So, Chris, how's the pizza?”

  “Good,” Chris answered curtly.

  “You know, if there's anything you like to eat, feel free to tell me,” Zoe said, “and I'll try to make it for you.”

  Chris shrugged. “I don't care.”

  “Great,” Zoe said with a chuckle. “Then I can make you some of my favorites. Spinach and asparagus stew.... broccoli spears... an eggplant and sardine sandwich...”

  Her humor was lost on the boy, who just shrugged and said, “whatever.”

  “Wow... he really is in top form today,” Benjamin said with a sigh. “Sorry he's being such a little snot.”

  “It's okay. I'm used to little snots.”

  Benjamin's eyes twinkled with amusement. “Why do I get the impression you're referring to me?”

  “I'm not.” Zoe gave him a playful little shove. Oh god, was she flirting with him?! “You're what I'd call a BIG snot, Ben.”

  Chapter Six

  Excerpt from Zoe's blog--

  You know what I hate? The word “cougar.” Ugh! If a girl is even a few years older than the guy she's dating, some jerk-off is going to call her a cougar at some point.

  If only she wouldn't have needed to go to the bathroom that night, she wouldn't have run into Ben. With no makeup. In her pajamas.

  “Well, well... hello there,” he greeted her. His eyes combed over her entire body, from her head to her toes. She was barefoot, wearing super-short pink shorts and a tank top. She really needed to invest in a pair of yoga pants, because she felt naked in her current attire. Or was she just being silly?

  “Uh... hi.” He was standing in the middle of the hallway, blocking her escape. She kept trying to peer beyond his shoulder, hoping he would get the message and step out of her path, but he didn't budge. “Is there something I can help you with?”

  “Oh, I'm sure there are many things you could help
me with, but I can't imagine you would be willing.” He scratched his head. “Or maybe you would be willing? You think I should try my luck?”

  “No.”

  “That's a shame.” Zoe tried to skirt around him, so he put an arm against the wall, trapping her. “So you're not attracted to me?”

  What should she say? Of course she thought he was attractive. Anyone in their right mind would think he was the most adorable human being on the face of the earth. But she had way too many reasons to keep her opinion to herself. For one, flirting with her employer's brother was incredibly unprofessional, even if he did start flirting with her first.

  “You're... alright,” she finally admitted.

  “Alright?! Ouch!” Ben's hand flew to his chest, over his heart. “You wound me!”

  She really was going to wound him if he didn't move out of her way! “Honestly, Ben, I think most women would find you attractive, but I haven't really been paying attention. Now... if you don't mind?” She pointed behind him, indicating that she needed to pass.

  “You really can't stand to be around me?”

  Whenever he was around, she was susceptible to a racing pulse, clammy hands, and shortness of breath. So, in a way, she really couldn't stand to be around him. “It's not you. I just...” She almost told him she needed to pee, but it would have been way more than he needed to know.

  He leaned closer and demonstrated his most disarming smile. “You don't think I'm kind of cute?”

  “I--”

  Benjamin batted his eyelashes. She had to bite her tongue so she wouldn't laugh. “Pleeeease. Give me a little hope here!”

  “Alright!” she threw up her arms in defeat. “Yes. Fine. You're really, really cute, Ben. You're a prime catch.”

  “You're just saying that.”

  She shook her head. “No. I'm not.”

  “Yes you are!”

  “No. I'm not. You have a mirror, don't you? You obviously know you're cute,” she said with a sigh. “What about me? Are you attracted to me?” It didn't hurt to ask.

  “Uh... YES! Isn't it obvious?” He reached toward her and tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. “You have nice legs, by the way.”

  “Okay, now THAT'S a little inappropriate!”

  “Is it? Sorry.” Ben shrugged. “That's just the way we do it here in England. We're more direct. We don't beat around the bush like you yanks do.”

  All of a sudden, Zoe ducked under his arm and sprinted down the hallway. She turned around and stuck her tongue out at him. Sure, it was childish, but she didn't really care. He deserved it.

  “Ah... clever girl!” he called to her. “It looks like you got the jump on me!”

  “Goodnight, Ben!” Zoe shouted down the hall. “Behave yourself, okay? I don't want to have to tell your brother you've been naughty!”

  “Now you're sounding like a true nanny!” he kept shouting at her, even as she disappeared around the corner. “Will you spank me if I'm bad?”

  When she was gone, Ben couldn't stop smirking. The nanny had certainly put an end to his summer doldrums. He headed to his brother's room, hoping to catch him alone. He didn't want to run into Gemma, the slag. She could suck the fun out of any situation.

  Unfortunately, Lewis wasn't alone. When Lewis came to the door, Gemma was sitting on the bed, her face marred by a familiar sneer.

  “I'm sorry,” Benjamin said, “is this a bad time?”

  “No... come in, come in.” Lewis stepped aside, ushering his brother into the room. “Is something bothering you?”

  “Something is bothering ME!” Gemma spoke up, “It's late, Ben. Can't this wait until tomorrow?”

  Benjamin, ignoring Gemma's remark, asked, “How was your outing?”

  “Dreadful,” said Lewis.

  “Lovely,” said Gemma.

  Their contrasting opinions made Ben raise and eyebrow. “Alriiight.”

  “How was it here?” Lewis asked. “With the nanny? Everything alright?”

  Gemma crashed on the bed with a “hmph.” Any mention of the nanny, however innocent, was enough to make her seethe.

  “Everything was fine... although Chris was being a bit of a prat.”

  “What's new?” Lewis asked with a sigh.

  “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the nanny...” Ben said. “You see, I'm a bit smitten with her.”

  “Oh really?” Lewis crossed his arms. He was a bit smitten with the nanny as well, but it wasn't as if he could admit it. Not while Gemma was scowling at him.

  “I'm going to get into the nanny's knickers... mark my words,” Ben announced. “You're not going to be angry with me, are you? If I shag the nanny?”

  “I don't approve!” Gemma whined. “She's way too old for you, Ben. Way, way too old. Not to mention... she's an American, of all things! That's the worst of it.”

  As usual, Lewis ignored his wife. “Just don't do anything to make her uncomfortable, Ben. I know how you get when you're around girls.”

  “Okay. Fine.” Ben retreated for the door, because he couldn't take much more of Gemma's disapproving glare. “Oh, and one more thing...”

  Simultaneously, Gemma and Lewis asked, “What?”

  “I was wondering if I could have a party here,” Ben said. “Just a little social gathering... nothing too wild. I just wanted to invite a few of my mates over for drinks.”

  “No!” Gemma shouted.

  “Go right ahead,” Lewis countered.

  The husband and wife exchanged glances. A moment later, Gemma fussed, “Well, I guess that means you'll be having your party... since no one ever listens to me!”

  Chapter Seven

  Excerpt from Zoe's blog--

  American men are pigs. British men are pigs with accents.

  Zoe really wanted to have story time with Chris. Alas, it wasn't going as smoothly as she would have hoped. She was trying everything she could think of to reach out to Chris, but he wasn't going to make it easy on her.

  She drifted around his bedroom in search of a good book. He had all of the Harry Potters, in paperback and hard cover. There were a few books by Roald Dahl, C.S. Lewis, and several titles she had never heard of before.

  She picked up Prince Caspian and wagged it over Chris' bed. “Do you read this? It seems pretty ambitious for an eight-year-old.”

  As Chris' attention was fixed on his Nintendo DS, he almost missed her question. “I read it.”

  “Wow. You must be very smart for your age!”

  Chris shrugged. “Maybe you were just stupid for your age.”

  Zoe's jaw dropped. A comment like that was worthy of a reprimand, wasn't it? She was supposed to be in charge of Chris' discipline, but she didn't want to do or say anything to drive him away. There was a chasm between them, and the only way to close the chasm was to be as relatable as possible. “You know, you're probably right,” she agreed. “I didn't do much reading when I was a kid. I was more of a cartoons person.”

  “Cartoons are stupid,” Chris snorted.

  “Okaaay.” She started pacing around the room, searching for a topic of conversation that might grab his interest. As much as he seemed to hate her, it was a miracle that he had even allowed her into his bedroom. He did, after all, have a giant KEEP OUT sign right outside the door. “So what are you playing?”

  Chris sneered at her over his DS. “What do you care? You don't play games.”

  “Well... I'm just curious.”

  “Pokemon,” Chris said with a shrug. He didn't move his eyes away from the game screen, not even for a second. As far as Zoe could tell, video games was his only hobby.

  Video games and Harry Potter.

  Zoe picked up an action figure of Ron Weasley from Chris' desk. “Ah... I know who this is!”

  Chris glanced over at her, but only for a moment.

  “Ron was always one of my favorite characters... in the books, and in the movies,” Zoe tried to converse. “I always liked Snape too. Are you a Snape fan?”

  “No.”


  “Hagrid?”

  “No.” Chris turned away from her, and now she could only see his back. "Hagrid is stupid."

  “We'll have to venture out on a day trip soon... just you and me. Do you think that would be fun?”

  “No.”

  Ignoring his negativity, she said, “I've been researching places to visit in Oxfordshire. Being the cheesy American that I am, I kind of wanted to visit a medieval castle. Are there any in this area?”

  “I dunno.”

  “What about Broughton Castle? Have you ever been there?” She kept staring at Ron Weasley, wishing he could cast some sort of anti-brat spell on the little boy in the bed.

  “No.”

  “What about Blenheim Palace?”

  This time, Chris didn't reply. Apparently, he had enough of her questions. But that wasn't going to stop her.

  “So how do you feel aboooout...” Zoe hesitated a moment, “your uncle?”

  “Uncle Ben?”

  Zoe had to purse her lips to keep from laughing, because an image of a kindly old man on a rice box popped into her head. “Uh huh.”

  “He's alright.”

  “Really?!” This was a first. Chris didn't seem to like anyone. He didn't like her. He didn't like his parents. If he liked Ben, maybe Ben was the way to Chris' heart? “Maybe we could all go to Blenheim Palace together? Do you think that would be fun?”

  “I dunno. Maybe.”

  Success! It was the first thing out of Chris' mouth that wasn't exceedingly negative. “Well... good. I'll have to see if he's interested.”

  Chris turned off his Nintendo DS and tossed it across his bed. As soon as the game music was off, Zoe could hear music in the distance. Somewhere in the house, someone was blasting some extremely loud rock. The bass was so loud, it made the floor vibrate. “Do you hear that?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Ben's having a party.”

  “Oh... he is, is he?” Zoe glanced at the clock. It was nearly 10 o'clock—Chris' bedtime. If Ben didn't turn his music down soon, she would have to have a word with him. “Why is he having a party?”