The Nanny's Knickers

by Wren Mingua

  "You go out for coffee in England? I thought it was all about tea here," she said, a poor attempt at lightening the mood.

  "We do love our tea... but we enjoy the occasional coffee as well," Lewis said. "Will you go with me?"

  Since he was her boss, would it be rude to refuse him outright? "I'll, uh... I'll think about it."

  "Thinking about it is better than a no," Lewis said with a smirk. "I'll just keep nagging you until you accept."

  "Goodnight, Lewis." She sidestepped him and continued down the hall, toward her bedroom.

  "You look gorgeous, by the way!" Lewis called after her.

  Zoe rolled her eyes as she stepped into her bedroom. "Didn't mean it like that my ass..." she murmured to herself.

  As she crashed into bed, she secretly wished she would wake up on the opposite side of the Atlantic Ocean.

  Chapter Ten

  Excerpt from Zoe's blog--

  You know what I hate? Ex-girlfriends who feel like they're entitled to get handsy with the guy you like.

  That's not to say I like anyone in particular, but still...

  "Do you have everything you need?" Zoe stood beside the Audi R8, fretting over Chris like his mother should have been fretting over him. Unfortunately, she had not seen hide nor clown-red hair of Gemma. Zoe tried not to be judgmental, but she thought his mother could have at least tried to show some interest in her son's first day of school. "Did you get those pens and pencils I laid out for you?"

  "Yeah," Chris murmured.

  "Do you have your... bag?" Zoe wasn't sure what they called it in England. Book bag? Backpack? Rucksack? She figured "bag" was the safe bet.

  "Got it." Chris lifted his rucksack and tossed it into the car.

  "Alright. Climb in." Zoe climbed into the driver's seat, a bit reluctantly. It was her first attempt at driving on the "wrong" side of the road. When Chris got in, she observed his face in the rear-view mirror. Unless she was mistaken--which she rarely was--he had tears in his eyes. "You okay?"

  Chris shrugged. He pulled his Nintendo DS out of his book bag and started to play.

  "You don't like school, do you?"

  Once again, the only reply she got was a shrug. Chris made no attempt to hide his disinterest in conversing with her.

  "I didn't like school either," Zoe confessed. "I hated it. Until the sixth grade or so, I didn't have many friends. Only one or two good ones..."

  "Just drive," Chris moaned.

  "Okay..." She turned the key in the ignition and rolled out of the driveway. "I'm just trying to make you feel better." There had to be more to this kid--didn't there? She hadn't seen him with any friends, his parents hated each other, and they rarely acknowledged their son's existence. If Chris wasn't such a complete tyrant, she might have felt sorry for him.

  When Zoe made it to the school, she breathed a sigh of relief. She felt like she was putting herself through driver's ed all over again. Once again, she checked the rear-view mirror, and when she did, she caught Chris wiping tears from his cheeks. Poor thing, she thought. She would have tried to comfort him, but she knew he wouldn't welcome her sympathy.

  "Well... I guess this is it." Zoe pulled into the parking lot and waited for Chris to get out. He didn't budge. He didn't even turn off his DS. Rather than ask him to leave, she decided to give him a moment to psych himself up. She turned her attention to the school. In the distance, a little brunette girl was spinning around in circles, swatting a handsome black boy with her pigtails. Young love, Zoe thought with a chuckle. "Chris?"

  "Huh?" He turned off his video game and shoved it into his bag.

  "I'll be back to pick you up at three o'clock, okay?"

  "Sure." He slung his bag over his shoulder and pulled open the car door. "Miss Zoe?"

  Zoe smiled. It was the first time he had addressed her by her name. "You can just call me Zoe, okay?"

  "Zoe," he repeated. "Thanks for taking me."

  Zoe couldn't believe her ears. It was the nicest thing she had ever heard from Christopher Eastham. "Good luck."

  "You're right," Chris said with a sigh. He slid out of the car and lingered around for a few seconds. "I hate school."

  "I'm sure you'll do fine. Would you like a hug goodbye? A kiss on the cheek? I just applied some lip gloss, so--"

  "Ugh. Noooo!" Chris sprinted away from the car, fearful she might force the hug on him. "G'bye!"

  "Bye, hon." She kept her eyes on Chris as long as she could, until he disappeared into a sea of kids wearing the same school uniform. When he was gone, she heaved an enormous sigh. How many times had she and Kyle talked about having children? How many times had she truly convinced herself that he was "the one?" She couldn't believe how much time she had wasted on him, only to be let down.

  Never again, she told herself. Even if I'm single forever, I refuse to let another man break my heart.

  * * *

  When Zoe got back from the school, she headed to the game room, which happened to have the best and most accessible television in the house. Unfortunately, the game room was already occupied. Ben was in the game room with his two numbskull friends, and there was a buxom blonde girl sitting on his lap.

  "Well, if it isn't the nanny!" red-haired James leapt to his feet as soon as she entered the room. "How have you been, love?"

  "Um..." Tongue-tied Zoe couldn't tear her eyes away from the blonde on Ben's lap. The girl was coiling her fingers through his hair, and he didn't seem to mind. So much for thinking he liked ME, Zoe thought.

  "Elle..." Ben whispered to the blonde. He tried to shift her off of his lap, but she wouldn't move.

  "Hi!" the blonde greeted her. She had chewing gum in her mouth, and she was smacking her lips as she chomped on it. Her shoulder length hair was so light and bright, it could appropriately be described as platinum. Almost two inches of dark roots were growing out of her scalp, a telltale sign of her natural color. "You must be Zoe?" The blonde held out her hand, but she didn't move from Ben's lap. "I'm Ellen."

  "Uh... hi." When Zoe took the girl's hand, she had to take it carefully, because Ellen had several obnoxious cocktail rings on her fingers, and a few of them looked dangerous.

  "Elllllleeen," James repeated, hanging onto both syllables of her name much longer than necessary. "Since when did you start going by Ellen?"

  "You can call me Elle." As she spoke, Zoe could see flashes of the chewing gum wad as it rolled around in her mouth. "Or Elly." Ellen leaned back and nestled her head against Ben's shoulder. Zoe didn't expect to get irritated by the sight of him getting cozy with another woman, but she could feel the heat of vexation creeping into her cheeks.

  Zoe had to ask. "And you and Ben are--?"

  "Exes," Ellen explained. "Occasionally with benefits."

  "Oh."

  "I think that would fall under the category of too much information, Elle," said Jordan, who had been silent until then. "It's nice to see you again, Zoe. Would you like to join us?"

  "What are you guys up to?" Zoe asked. She glanced at the television, but they didn't appear to be watching anything in particular. She also stole a glimpse of Ben, but he wasn't making eye contact. In fact, he appeared to be hanging his head in shame.

  "We were going to head off to a pub in a little bit," Jordan explained. "You're welcome to join us, if you'd like."

  "All four of you are going?" Zoe's gaze was peripherally fixated on Ellen, who was whispering something into Ben's ear.

  James strode over to Zoe and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, love. All four of us. You're welcome to come as my date."

  "I'll... pass," Zoe said. "But thanks."

  "Awwww." James, who still had his arm around her, gave her a little squeeze. "I'm not such a bad sort, once you get to know me. Jordan can attest to that."

  "Oh, it's not you," Zoe elaborated. "I mean... I'm just going to pass on the pub altogether."

  "How 'bout a date some other time then?"

  Zoe closed her eyes for a few seconds as she fought off
a groan. What was the deal with British boys and their persistence?

  "Leave her alone, Jamie!" Ellen hollered at him. "She's obviously NOT interested!"

  James pouted. "You're not?"

  For a few seconds, Zoe made eye contact with Ben, who had yet to utter a single word. What was going through his head right now? Since Ellen's heaping cleavage was less than an inch from his face, Zoe had a pretty good guess.

  "Maybe she fancies Jordan?" Ellen suggested with a grin.

  Jordan perked up. "What makes you say that?"

  "I don't know." Ellen shrugged. "I just figured someone had to fancy you one of these days!"

  "Loads of women fancy me!" Jordan claimed. "You're just not around to see it!"

  "Well, you know who I fancy!" Ellen started caressing Ben's hair, which made Zoe wonder how her rings weren't getting tangled up in it. "Isn't he adorable?"

  "Oh, he's adorable alright!" James said, chuckling. "I don't even like standing next to him. Just look at him! He makes me look bad."

  Ben picked up one of the couch pillows and lobbed it at James. It bounced off of James' head and went careening toward Zoe, who caught it in mid-air.

  "Hey... no throwing things!" James chided him. "I'm being serious! You're a fine specimen of man, Benny. If I was a woman, I'd shag you."

  "Aww. Do you want to shag him, James?" Ellen teased. "I didn't know you fancied lads."

  "I don't!"

  Zoe, who was starting to feel a bit out of place, started inching toward the door. "Well... you guys have fun at the pub. I'll see you later." She tossed the pillow to James and reached for the doorknob.

  "Zoe!" Ben shouted. He started to rise from the couch, but Ellen was clinging to his neck, digging into his nape with her ridiculously long fingernails. Extracting her from his lap was going to take some effort. "Zoe, wait!"

  Zoe left the game room and hurried back to her bedroom.

  "Zoe!" The next time Ben shouted her name, he had closed the gap between them. He was sprinting down the hall, eager to catch up to her. "Zoe, I need to talk to you."

  She stopped but she didn't turn around. "What?"

  Ben grabbed her shoulders and gently spun her in his direction. "You aren't angry with me, are you?"

  "Angry?" Zoe laughed, as if to show him how preposterous his question was. "Why would I be angry?"

  "You know... because of Elle?"

  "And why would I be angry because of Elle?" Zoe played dumb. She didn't want to give Ben even the slightest reason to believe she was interested in him.

  Because she wasn't interested in him.

  Was she?

  "Actually, Ben, I'm impressed."

  "Impressed?" he repeated. "Why?"

  "Because you have a different girl on your lap every time I see you," Zoe said. "Seriously... that's really impressive."

  He felt her sarcasm like a slap to the face. "Oh... Zoe. I don't want you to think I'm some kind of womanizer."

  "And you obviously have a thing for blondes," Zoe went on. "Really fake blondes, might I add."

  "No I don't. I actually like brunettes!" His gaze flickered to Zoe's head, to her chocolate brown hair. "In fact, my next girlfriend will definitely be a brunette!"

  "Maybe I should give her a warning. What's her name?" Zoe asked with a chuckle. "Oh, I'm just teasing you, Ben. Go have fun with your friends. I'll see you later."

  "Zoe..." When she pulled away from him, he tried to cling to her arm as long as he could. "I'm not seeing Elle anymore. And her friends with benefits claim? That's total rubbish!"

  "Oh, is it?" Zoe started heading down the hallway again, and Ben stayed on her heels.

  "I'm really sorry."

  "Why are you sorry?"

  "Because of Ellen!" Ben exclaimed. "I don't want you to think... we're not... I'm not..."

  "Trust me, Ben..." Zoe continued down the hallway, faster than ever, "you do not owe me an apology!"

  Chapter Eleven

  Excerpt from Zoe's blog--

  Have you ever dreamed about riding off into the sunset on the back of a horse? Trust me, sunset or no sunset, it's not as great as it looks.

  As soon as he was out of the school, Chris was accosted by Walter and his mates. He had hoped to make it to the car before they found him, but he had no such luck.

  "Oi! Turn around then!" Walter hollered. Chris couldn't see who was shouting at him, but he would recognize that Geordie accent anywhere. He had heard that voice plenty of times in his nightmares. "You're not getting away that easy! Turn around!"

  Chris turned on his heel, facing Walter's direction. If he didn't make it easy on them, he knew they would make it a lot harder on him. Walter and his two cronies weren't much older than Chris, maybe nine or ten. But Walter, in particular, had the bearing of an older boy. With his height and breadth, he could have easily stood up to a teenager. "You ain't gonna piss yerself this time, are ya?"

  Chris hung his head in shame. Why didn't they pick on someone else for once? "No."

  "Good. We didn't want another encounter with Chris the Piss," Walter said, and his two friends snickered. "Well... go on then, Chrissy. Turn out your pockets!"

  Chris didn't look up. He kept his eyes on the ground--wishing, hoping someone would come to his aid. When he finally opened his mouth, he answered with another resolute, "No."

  "Did I hear you?" Walter cupped a hand behind his ear and leaned forward. One of his mates, whose name Chris didn't remember, picked up a stone and pitched it in Chris' direction. The sharp rock bounced off his shoulder and skidded across the ground. "Did you just tell me no?"

  "I... I did," Chris admitted. Deep down, he knew he was a fool for standing up to Walter, because he knew it would end the same way it always did. "Piss off."

  "Did Chris the Piss just tell me to piss off?!" Walter roared. As he took a step in Chris' direction, he popped his knuckles. "You better change that attitude, or you'll be eating the dirt!"

  Chris knew it wasn't an empty threat, because Walter had crushed his face against the ground more times than he could count. He had punched him, stomped him, kicked him--he had experienced all sorts of pain on Walter's behalf. Sighing, Chris dipped his hands into the pockets of his trousers and turned them inside out. When he did, a five pound note fluttered to the ground. Walter stepped forward and picked it up.

  "Thanks. That wuddint so hard, wazzit?" Walter pocketed the money, but he wasn't finished with him yet. He buried his fist in Chris' stomach, which made the smaller boy crumble to his knees. "Have a nice day then!"

  Walter and his cohorts roared with laughter as they went on their way.

  * * *

  Chris tossed his rucksack into the backseat and climbed into the car next to Zoe. He clutched his stomach, where Walter had hit him, knowing he would have a bruise.

  Chris wished he could confide in the nanny, but it wasn't in his nature to confide in anyone. He wanted to tell her he had no friends, that he would have given anything in the world to have just one. He wanted to tell her about Walter and his friends bullying him--that they bullied him last year too. He wanted to tell her about how they stole the fiver that was crumpled up in his pocket.

  More than anything, he wanted to tell her how much he hated his parents. Sometimes, when they argued, we went into the bathroom and threw his body against the wall, because hurting himself on the outside made him hurt less on the inside.

  But he couldn't tell her any of these things because she didn't really care about him. She was paid to care about him. It was her job.

  "How was your day?" Zoe asked. She thought she saw the sparkle of a tear in his eye, but it might have been her imagination.

  "Fine." Chris turned his attention to the window, where his peers were scooting and scattering away.

  "How do you like your teacher?" Zoe asked. "Or... do you have multiple teachers? I don't really know how it works in the UK."

  "Fine," Chris repeated. He didn't want to have to deal with the nanny's barrage of questions. He had enoug
h on his mind and he didn't need her probing him for details.

  "Do you need a tissue?" she asked, because she noticed his nose was running. When Chris had to hold back tears, his nose had a tendency to leak.

  So he wiped his nose with his sleeve, which was good enough for him.

  "Okay then..." His nanny started the car and sped away from the school, away from Walter and his bad memories. "How about we go celebrate you surviving your first day of school? Do you want to go do something fun?"

  Chris shrugged. "Not really." He just wanted to go home and bury himself in a mountain of video games.

  "Do you want to get a snack or something?"

  "No."

  "Not even some ice cream?" Zoe offered. "Come on... everyone likes ice cream!"

  "No, thanks." Chris turned away and crossed his arms. As he stared out the window, his nose started dripping more than ever. By the time they were home, his sleeve was sopping wet.

  Zoe felt like she had tried everything she could possibly try with the boy. No matter what she did, she was met with single-word answers and an impossibly cold shoulder. She wished, more than she had ever wished for anything, that she could have a breakthrough with the boy. There had to be more to him than a puckered nose, contempt, and video games.

  More times than she could count, Zoe had been tempted to pack up her things and go back home. Being unemployed in America had to be better than being uncomfortable in Britain. She wished she had never left. She wished she could go back to her friends and family, because her heart ached for familiarity. She even missed Kyle. Sometimes.

  And really, uncomfortable didn't even begin to describe her feelings. Gemma treated her like a slave; like an ugly stepsister in a Cinderella story. And "ugly" she most certainly was, especially on the inside. Lewis, despite the fact that he was her employer--and married--never stopped hitting on her. And she didn't even want to spare a thought for Ben, who had turned out to be a constant source of disappointment, just like every other man in her life.