Gods and Demons in Love
Page 4
* * * * *
The days passed, slowly, as fearsome days do pass. The four of us remained in the little one-room cabin with its broken furniture and broken lives. I waited for Annith to discover her heart's desire, and Annith? I wasn't sure why she tarried now. It was unlike her to wait so long to feed, not with two tender, innocent lives awaiting her pleasure.
Annith fed her captives so they would not go hungry, and she kept the cabin warm so they would not be cold. She talked to them constantly, or rather, she talked to Sister Angelica. The boy she ignored except to shove him out of her way if he forgot himself and crossed her path. Sister Angelica cared for Thomas Junior, bathing him and seeing that he ate. But he was pale and listless, too afraid to cry, too lost to care. One evening Annith watched with jealous eyes as Sister Angelica held the boy and rocked him, as much for her own comfort, I supposed, as for the child's. Annith used her power to change a spider into a flower, a dainty pink rose, and held it toward the nun.
"I'll spare the boy, if you'll worship me, " she said as she tickled Sister Angelica's ear with the rose. "Such a pretty ear. Why doesn't it listen to me?"
Sister Angelica shook her head and brushed at the rose as if at a fly. "You'll spare him only for so long as it suits you," she said. "You'll keep your promise only until you're hungry again."
"Worship me! I am the daughter of the Dark Lord. Your invisible god is nothing; I am a goddess, here before your eyes."
"There is no need for me to see Him. He who believes without seeing shall have the greater reward."
Sister Angelica sounded like a good little girl child reciting her creed. She must have learned it very young. The sing-song of memorization was still in her voice.
"He? What about she? Is your God only for men?"
Annith leaned close to the nun. "I wonder," she said, looking over to me with a sly smile. "Does she like men best, or women? I can be either, if I choose."
"He or she," Sister Angelica said. "It makes no difference. Faith is all that matters."
"You believe in a god you can't see, a god you wouldn't see if you could, because that would lessen your reward. You're a strange woman, Sister Angelica."
"I didn't say I don't want to see Him. I said it's not necessary. Faith is necessary."
"There is no need to have 'faith' in my Father," Annith said, shivering in the sudden chill. The sky darkened as she remembered Him. Outside, next to the cabin, I saw a bird stop in mid-flight and fall dead from the sky.
"His power is a cold wind and a winter storm at midnight. His beauty is ice in the moonlight. Only, my mother loves Him enough not to fear Him."
"You sound as if you fear your father yourself," the nun said gently. She turned to the boy again, and stroked his face with her pale and fluttering hands.
Annith stared at her, amazed.
"Of course, I fear the Bloody Lord. I'd be a fool, otherwise."
Still, Sister Angelica was firm in her own faith.
"I will not worship you or your father."
But Annith was not through. There were many temptations. She softened her voice. She could sound gentle when she choose.
"I could make you young again. I could change you from Sister Angelica to Sister Desire."
I watched with interest, wondering if this offer would tempt Sister Angelica. More than once, the heart's desire of a daughter of sweet Laheese had been youth and beauty. And more than once, it had brought destruction of all they truly loved. But the little nun was wise.
"No, keep your gifts, Sister Darkness," she said. "I'd be a fool to trade heavenly immortality for false youth."
"Youth and love," Annith whispered. She tried to take Sister Angelica's hand, but the nun pulled away from her. "I could love you as no man has ever loved you."
"No."
Sister Angelica turned away, and hid her face from Annith. I saw her lips move as she spoke to this god of hers. She twisted her beads around her fingers and clutched them as she prayed. Her head was bent over the child as if seeking protection in his innocence. If I had a heart, it would have broken, watching her.
"Does it bother you that I'm a woman?" Annith's tickled Sister Angelica's neck with the rose. "I could be a man, if that pleased you."
"You offer one perversion after another. What must I do or say to make you understand?" Sister Angelica replied, beginning to loose her patience at last. "I am a Bride of Christ, and the only love I want is God's love."
"You still reject me?"
Angrily, Annith pulled apart the rose. The petals blackened, as if after a frost and fell to the floor like so much soot.
"I don't reject you; I reject your offer."
"They are the same thing, my offer and I!"
Annith's anger was potent. I watched it rise like smoke to the heavens. Like incense on an altar, it curled to her Father's domain. The sky turned black, streaked with red gashes, like blood from the sun. The wind howled and pulled Annith's hair. He was coming. Even the little nun knew something was wrong.
"Sister Darkness, stop this! You frighten me."
"It's not me you should fear," Annith said as she tried to control her chattering teeth. "Fear Him. He is coming. He's not like your God. He comes when I call Him."
"Oh, Father," she prayed, "don't come. Don't come here. I didn't mean it. My anger was false, I swear it!" Now, there was a glow on the horizon, an unbearable light. "Help me, Nate Lee! He will find Sister Angelica. He will know what I loved another more than Him. His wrath will be terrible."
Yet, despite the nearness of the Lord of Darkness, I saw that Sister Angelica's lips still moved in prayers to her invisible god. Was this faith?
"Save me, Nate Lee!" Annith begged.
"Save you?"
She threw herself against me, clutching the denim of my jacket. "Yes, yes. Save me from my Father, that is my heart's desire! Save me from Him!"
So, I put aside my cloak of mortal flesh and stood revealed in my power. Annith screamed and Sister Angelica fainted. Only the boy stared at me, eyes wide, beyond fear, even of me. Annith had power over form, and yet her power was as a ripple of breeze where her father's power was a thunderstorm. But what she saw at last was that my own power was enough to blast the world like a single great hurricane. Before me, the creature that called itself the Lord of Darkness and Delight would bow down and tremble. I put my hand on Annith's brow and the ruby in my ring flamed with scarlet light. The blood red rays washed over Annith, over Sister Angelica, over the boy crouched at my feet. In the distance, I felt the Dark Lord coming, summoned by Annith's rage. I reached deep into the heart of the ruby, past the lairs of screaming souls, past pain and loss, past desire, and I commanded change.