Tied Down

by Vanessa Waltz

  “I don’t know where that is.” I stroll through the pitch black. Madison and Reg live in a gated community that doesn’t allow streetlamps. If it weren’t for the distant skyscrapers and lights of downtown, they’d have a fantastic view of the stars.

  “What are you going to do? Run in the dark until you’re not pissed off anymore?”

  “Sounds like a plan. Don’t wait up for me!”

  “No, it doesn’t,” he says with a growl, quickening his steps. “Have you forgotten who you are?”

  I spin around. “Have you?”

  Bastien is bathed in black. He’s nothing more than a shadow. The duffel bag drops with a thump as he stalks toward me. I want to run from the monster shifting through his eyes. Wordlessly he takes my wrist and guides me to his car. His grip is iron, and I don’t stand a chance of running away. And even if I could—where would I go? My dad would demand an explanation. If I told the truth, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill Bastien. Then I’m no better than them.

  I fucking hate him.

  I want to tear him apart. Shatter that beautiful face. Make him feel some of the horror he gave me. He put me in the terrible position of choosing between him and my father.

  Bile rises in my throat when we arrive home, and he touches the small of my back as though he owns me. I climb the steps. Let myself in. I head straight for the kitchen and the liquor cabinet. I’m halfway between pouring myself a glass of whiskey before I remember I’m pregnant, and as much as I loathe my husband, I know I’ll love my baby.

  Bastien swipes the drink and toasts to me before tipping it back. The amber liquid flows into his mouth. He swallows and lets out a sigh as though he’s had a rough day. “So what are your views on spanking?”

  I could slap him. “This isn’t a joke.”

  “I know. We’ll be parents.” He sets the glass down. “I want to make sure we have a united front for raising our child.”

  He ruined everything, and he wants to brush it aside like it never happened. “Why couldn’t you do your job and leave me out of it?”

  Darkness ripples over his face. “There’s a lot more to it.”

  “Then explain. Give me a reason not to go to my father.”

  “The cops who put me on this case are dirty. They were going to erase my identity—the real me. I’d be a gangster forever if I didn’t marry you.”

  The hurt and betrayal build up behind my eyes. I hate losing control but I know I’m seconds from tears. “You did it anyway.”

  Bastien swallows hard, nodding. I slap him. He catches my wrist before the blow lands on his face. He pulls me forward. “And there was the fact that if it wasn’t me, it would be one of the others. Fuck that.”

  I pound his chest. “You should have let them!”

  “I didn’t want you to get hurt. I cared about you enough not to feed you to the goddamn wolves. So, yes. I lied to you about who I was, but never about wanting you.”

  “I don’t give a damn. I don’t even know you. What’s your real fucking name?”

  “Eva, it doesn’t matter.”

  I slam my fist into his chest, but it’s like punching a rock. “I want to know who I’m having a baby with!”

  His eyes lower from my face. “Ethan Fiore. I was born in Saskatchewan. My parents live in the sticks. They’re amazing. I grew up surrounded by wilderness, under endless miles of country sky. I studied criminology in college. Applied to the Montreal Police Department and got a job right when I finished training to work undercover.”

  He lied about his education, too. The gritty, orphaned persona he invented for himself never existed. “Is there anything you told me that wasn’t complete bullshit?”

  “Everything I said about us, wanting a future with you. That was real.”

  Bastien—Ethan—looks like he believes that. “What was your plan, asshole? Marry me. Get me pregnant. And then what?”

  “Take you away from this fucking place.” He gestures toward the door. “Give you the life you always wished for.”

  I picture it. Bastien and I driving west, far from the chaos of the city, where we’d settle down in some remote area to raise our kids. Fuck him. He doesn’t get to decide what I want. “You’re out of your mind.”

  “The day after we married, you told me you wanted a normal life.”

  I grab his suit, the fabric bunching in my fists as I shove him. Sorrow bleeds through his expression. He covers my hands with his, refusing to hurt me even though I gouge my fingers into his flesh. “You think you can give me that? I would rather raise this kid alone. You lied to my face. You’re a bastard, and I want nothing to do with you.”

  He shoves me against the refrigerator door. My back touches the bitingly cold metal. Bastien’s hip bumps against mine. The hands at my waist squeeze. A vivid image of him grabbing me when I stood from the breakfast table two weeks ago burns in my head. That’s the way he is. One minute sedated and the next pressing his hard cock against my ass.

  And as much as his frequent disappearing acts pissed me off, it was fucking exciting to be wanted like that, to watch him lose his mind when I walked across the apartment topless.

  The same fever burns in his eyes now. “I’m an asshole, yeah. I deserve to have my teeth kicked in for what I did to you, but don’t pretend there’s not something going on between us.”

  “You were nothing but a sperm bank.”

  He laughs. “Sure I was. That’s why you wait for me when I come home late.”

  Desire spreads in a slow circle from his thumb, stroking my stomach. It skates under my panties. “I needed to know if you were alive.”

  “That’s also why you demanded I text you.” I want to strike the smile off his face. “I’m nothing. I’m only the man who knocked you up.”

  He brushes my clit, sending a thrill through me. His mouth hovers over my lips. “That’s why you’re so wet right now.”

  I slap him. Hard.

  His head whips to the side and snaps back. My handprint flames his cheek. “I guess I deserved that.”

  “And a lot fucking more.”

  He leans in, speaking in a husky voice. “Maybe we should go to the bedroom, and you can show me.”

  I slap him with the left. Bastien snatches my wrist. “You can’t fuck your way out of this.”

  “No, but I can try.”

  A feline smirk tugs at his lips, and then he hoists me by the waist and throws me over his shoulder. He gives my ass a playful squeeze.

  I pound his back. “Let me down! We’re not done talking about this.”

  “I just found out I’ll be a father,” he says, kicking the door open. “I don’t want to talk.”

  He might be in a celebratory mood, but I’m not. I look at him and see a stranger—a man who deceived me. Stabbed me in the heart. Everything good I felt for him is gone. This is my baby’s father.

  Tears slide down my cheeks as he sets me down. “How could you do this to me?”

  “Eva, it was easy. It was you.”

  The bed sinks as I sit, letting the tears fall on my lap.

  He touches my face. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  What a useless phrase. “When it c-came down to it, you were fine making that decision.”

  He grabs my hand, places it over his heart. “Look at me. You’re mine. The baby is mine. I’ll never cheat. I’ll never abandon you.”

  “Your words are worthless.” For all I know he’s doubling down on this shit because his life is on the line.

  “Judge me by my actions, Eva. I gave you this baby, and I’ll give you more when the time comes.”

  “What makes you think I’ll want another with you?”

  “Something tells me you won’t be able to say no.” Bastien kneels, his hands flying to the button at his throat. He loosens it, and my eyes follow him as he unbuttons his shirt, one black stud at a time. He rips it off his back, and I take in the muscles rippling over his body. Purple bruises dot his chest, marring the sculpted beauty. He earned those wou
nds on a job he never wanted.

  “I will not forget what you did by staring at your fucking pecs.” My blood pounds with the rage of his betrayal, but now there’s a drop of desire.

  Still kneeling, he touches my thighs. “That’s not what I’m trying to accomplish. I just want to fuck my wife.”

  Then his hands glide to my waist. I grab them, my head throbbing from what he said. I wish I had the strength to shove him away, but I’m weak. He was the only good thing in my life, and now he’s my nightmare.

  He pushes me into the mattress, his heavy weight falling over me. Starry-eyed with lust, he crushes his lips against mine. I suck him in and bite. Bastien pulls back, smiling through the cut in his lip. Blood rolls over his thumb. His gaze dances with mirth as his fingers dive into my hair, yanking my head to stroke my neck with his tongue.

  A low throb builds in my core, and the more I fight against it, the more it grows, like a cancerous tumor that won’t be ignored. Instead of poison, it releases euphoria. I’m angry because I don’t want to desire him. He’s a fucking bastard. He’s—taking off my pants.

  Stunned, I watch as he drags my tight jeans over my bony hips. They catch. He yanks them down my thighs and calves.

  Chuckling, he props himself up by his elbow and grazes my panties. They’re the filthiest panties I own. I forgot I had them on.

  He traces the small triangle patch. “You don’t want me. That’s plain. When you put these on this morning, did you think I’d hate them?”

  “I wanted my husband to see them. You’re not him. I don’t know who the hell you are.”

  Still, my breath catches when he slides his finger under the string. He pulls them down my legs and then cups my aching heat. And he strokes.

  “Does it matter?”

  It doesn’t.

  The lies and betrayal—I’ll deal with them later. I want him now.

  He dips inside me, curving. My t-shirt makes a sigh as he pushes it over my tits. Grabbing the wire frame, he shoves my bra above. His tongue swirls around my nipples.

  Heat rushes to my face. My body hums in response to every small touch, and Bastien grins when I look at him, slapping my thigh with a loud crack. He knows I’m putty in his hands, utterly helpless against his spell. He fucks me. I sigh. His fingers slide out, and I glare at him.

  Suddenly fierce, he grabs the back of my head. His wet finger strokes my lips, parting them aside as he forces into my mouth. I make a tight glove, my teeth edging around him. I stop at the challenge in his eyes.

  “You’ll never run out on me again, Eva.”

  Now I want to bite him.

  His hand pulls from my mouth, and he flips me over his knees. The rough fabric sears my skin, and my body feels uncomfortably vulnerable. He palms my ass.

  I dig my nails into the mattress. “What are you doing?”

  “You wanted to be a mob wife so badly. It’s time I treat you like one.”

  Then a blow lands on my cheek, the sting so sharp I feel it in my teeth. I twist around, screaming at him. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Disciplining you.” He soothes the burn with gentle strokes.

  He must’ve lost it. “You’re the one who should get punished!”

  “If you can overpower me, go ahead. I’m sure I’d enjoy your hands on my ass. Probably not as much as I love this, though.”

  Another vicious crack rings through the room, the heat spreading on my left cheek.

  “Eva, listen,” he continues, voice deepening. “Never run away again. Besides the fact it makes me look like I’ve lost control over my wife, it’s not safe. Understand?”

  He’s the one who lied at the altar. “Go to hell.”

  “Wrong answer.”

  Crack.

  The stinging is like gasoline on fire. “I’m not apologizing to a fucking cop.”

  His laughter incenses me. “That’s your father talking. I’m not a cop anymore, sweetheart. I’ve crossed the line, and there’s no going back.”

  He grabs my shirt and pulls me upright. My jaw clenches. Goddamn it, he’s never been so rough with me.

  “I don’t care if you’re fucking sorry. Don’t do it again.”

  He has no right to demand anything, manhandle me, treat me like I’m some idiot runaway. I let him grab my hips and position me because I hate him. There’s no name to describe the turmoil inside. Every word out of his mouth is a cold finger down my spine. His smile used to make my stomach backflip. Now it makes me rage. The way my body responds to him is the biggest betrayal.

  His bare thighs touch mine. The length of his cock slides between my legs, skimming my clit. A tingle runs through my pussy. I open my hips for Bastien, hating him for that, too.

  He enters me with one swift stroke. The breath knocks out of me as he pulls out and rams in again. My walls tighten around him as he thrusts without mercy. I grind against him, gasping at the meaty slap of his balls. I want him to fuck the rage out of me, but instead, it grows. Lust feeds it like smoking nourishes cancer. This is toxic. We’ll destroy each other.

  I’ll love every minute of it.

  He fucks me from behind, yanking my hips back until I scream. Then he pulls out. Flips me over. I stare into his loathsome face. I grab his shoulder, intending to gouge, but then his cock enters me. He rams it home. He takes my wrists and pins them over my head, thrusting with the full fury of this hate fuck.

  The lust overtakes my anger—only barely. I want him closer. He obliges, my fingers running down his powerful back and then up into his thick hair. The spark that used to fly when he looked at me—it’s still there. Hidden deep inside.

  I need this, even if it’s fucked up.

  He scoops me in his arms, thrusting so far I break. He buries his face in my neck, biting like the savage he is. I’m wrapped up in his embrace, pinned down. No doubt part of a primal instinct to keep me from moving.

  Bastien pauses mid-thrust and crashes against my lips. It’s animalistic. Raw. Wilder and hotter than what I’ve experienced with him. He punctuates every kiss with a hard stroke. Then he rests his forehead against mine, forcing me to meet his laughing gaze. “I can’t make you feel anything for me, but I will make you feel.”

  He sucks in my lip. The pounding reaches a crescendo as I dig my nails into him. My body rocks back as pleasure rises like a flame, hotter and brighter. He makes a desperate sound, squeezing my tits as he buries himself to the hilt. His cock jumps, dragging across. It hits my sensitive spot, and then he grinds, digging himself deep. An orgasm flattens me to the mattress. Bastien releases my wrists, kisses me so hard I’m lightheaded. My hair fans out behind me as I lie on the bed, chest pulsing.

  He spreads beside me, a contented smirk on his face. The wave of exhaustion and happiness is pushed out by crushing sadness. I sit up.

  A possessive hand rolls over my thigh. “Where are you going?”

  I open my mouth to fling another barb and a sob bursts out. “Getting away from you.” It’s too much to accept at once. My husband’s a cop, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t remember his last name.

  Bastien pulls me back down. “This is forever if you want me. I swear, Eva.”

  “I don’t know what I will do yet.” He tries to soothe me, but I can’t get any comfort from him. “How much time do I have?”

  “What?”

  “Before they arrest my dad.”

  His brown pools shift like coals. “I don’t know.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Your father,” he says, seeking my gaze. “They want him gone. That’s what the meeting with Carter was about. He wants me to kill him.”

  “What?” My head spins. “He’s dying! Why don’t they leave him alone and let the cancer take care of it?”

  “I have no idea. It makes no sense.”

  The hair raises on my arms. “That’s what you plan to do, then?”

  “I won’t do it, Eva. Fuck them.” Bastien looks at me, heaves a great sigh. “I told you there were things you wouldn’
t want to know.”

  The bed bounces as he rolls off, heading toward the bathroom. I wipe my face and launch from the mattress. “Wait. I’m not done with you. Was the wedding real?”

  Bastien’s eyes fracture with pain. “No. I’m sorry. The marriage certificate was fake.”

  I can’t believe this.

  I’m not married.

  The pain builds in my chest as my vision clouds over. My husband isn’t even my husband. “Any more shit to pile on me? Tell me. I know there’s more.”

  “Why? I didn’t hurt you enough?”

  I wipe my face as Bastien comes close enough for me to feel the heat burning his skin. “Stop pretending you give a shit about my feelings. If you cared, you wouldn’t have made a mockery of everything that’s important to me.”

  He lets out a humorless laugh. “If you knew what I’d already done for you, Eva.”

  “What?” I snap. “Picking up the mail and taking out the garbage doesn’t count.”

  “I killed Adrián.” The dead look returns to his face. “He found out. It was either leave you or kill him.”

  It can’t be true. “I don’t believe you!”

  “I killed him for you, and I’d do it again.”

  My voice bounces off the tiles. “I didn’t ask you to do that!”

  “Adrián meant nothing to me.”

  “What about my guilt?” I grab his shoulders. “I liked you because you were different. You think I want you to become some dead-eyed monster like everyone else?”

  A flash of sorrow passes over Bastien’s eyes, but it’s gone so quickly I assume I imagined it. They’re like tunnels again.

  Bastien destroyed himself to be with me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Eva

  Some days it’s hard to look at Bastien in the eye without flinching. Today is not one of them. My baby shower is this afternoon and I don’t want him there.

  Unfortunately he’s already dressed. He waits in the living room, reading for a change. That’s all he’s been doing since we confirmed the heartbeat on the monitor. A box arrived in the mail two days later, filled to the brim with baby books. He sits in the leather lounge chair, the hardcover balanced on his knees. I scan the title: What to Expect When You’re Expecting.