She doesn’t stop as she heads toward her office, but as I think about my payment for this unplanned trip, Clara stops, turns to me, and just smiles so wickedly, my body recoils.
“Put her outside,” Clara demands, pushing me toward the backdoor. “And chain her.” Clara’s final order is given with such deliverance there’s no room for hesitation against her sour commands. “I don’t want to take any chances.”
I’m dragged out and although I have no real strength in me, I resist. I don’t know why I bother against men of a six-foot-six stature and a bulky build. I’m a frail flower next to their size. I stand no chance, and it’s shown to me as Sam throws me against the brick wall of the building and readies the length of chain to connect to my leather collar.
There’s a small courtyard to the club, most of the staff use it to smoke in, but now it’s my home for the night clearly. He sniggers as he leaves me alone and the door slams shut and the silence rings in. As the heavens open, I curl up tightly against the wall. I feel like God is punishing me for all the delinquency I’ve bestowed upon Clara. Everyone is out to make me the damned, and this is the ultimate one. Here I am, chained to wall like the dog I am and now I’m caught out in the rain.
Immediately the cold sets in, and I’m reduced to a shivering mess. I’m in nothing but a playsuit, no protection from Mother Nature. Closing my eyes, I try to transport myself mentally to any of the places Jace and I hid in. Yet the cold is so fierce, the mirage melts away into nothingness. My own imagination is blown and I’m left to just survive however long I’m left out here.
“Shit,” Eli swears as he comes out into the back of the club. “Joely,” he says my name as he throws the bag of rubbish aside. “What the fuck?” he asks as he goes straight for freeing me from my chain link leash.
“Eli,” I croak looking at him. I blink heavily as the rain pours upon us, and I can tell something’s wrong. The way he’s pulling on the fastener in the wall proves he’s not using his entire force. “What’s wrong?”
He doesn’t look at me, just continues to fight for my freedom. “Clara ordered I be beaten for helping you. I just got roughed up, it’s nothing,” he bats away my concern, and I feel my heart sink further.
I push him away from me. I can’t drag people under with me. I’m on a slippery slope as it is, I won’t allow others to get caught up in this path of destruction.
“Joely, stop it!”
“No,” I tell him, my voice losing itself in the torrential downpour. “I want you to give up on me, Eli. I want you tell Josh and Spencer to leave the club. I want you to tell Jace to leave me.” I look at him, I’m completely broken right now. “I can’t be the reason you all end up hurt. Not anymore. I signed that contract, that’s on me. You getting hurt, it’s on me. It’s all my fault this is happening.”
He goes to hold me and as much as I want to take his embrace and lose myself in it, I can’t. I force him off with all my might and he flies back. I watch him wince as he makes impact with the ground and another piece of self-loathing takes residence in me. He gets up, coming to my aid again.
“Leave me alone,” I ground out, hoping my hostility will hit him enough. “I don’t want this happening to you any more than it already has.”
“I’m not leaving you!” he defies me.
“I want you to,” I beg of him. I’m not desperate, more frightful. “I can’t be at fault for everything she does to you, Eli. Don’t make me feel more responsibility than I already do.” My onslaught of tears are hidden by the rain pounding down, and I’m thankful for it. “Please.”
Eli growls out, punching the wall in aggression. “I’m only listening to you this once.” He looks over his shoulder as he hears Shads’ voice. “When you’re done being completely stir-crazy over whatever the hell happened while you were gone, I’ll be waiting.” He comes to me, giving me a chaste hug, kissing my temple before he disappears.
When he leaves me alone, I slump nonchalantly against the wall and just breakdown entirely. I don’t even know how long I’m left out here in the rain when Shads finally comes and unlocks me, only to drag me back to the pit.
“Looks like someone lost all her fight at last,” Sam chortles as he chains me back to the wall of the pit. “The Boss will be happy.”
My fight washed away with the rain. I’ve been hollowed out, beaten by all the elements, and now I’m left a shadow of myself.
I’m something I never wanted to be – switched off and completely emotionless. There’s not an ounce of feeling in my icy cold body. I’m just an empty abyss, a hollow vessel.
Exactly, how The Boss wants us all.
Chapter Sixteen
I allowed three days to pass. I didn’t take much notice, didn’t really feel the need to participate and, with the help of that torrential downpour I was forced out in, I ended up sick. As a result, Clara ordered I be taken back to my apartment. She came by to see me, allowed me a couple of days to recuperate, and apologized for thinking chaining me up outside was a good idea.
Apparently me being back here is a permanent stay. However, being here has thrust me into a new realm of loneliness. This apartment isn’t home any longer. It’s a dormant place for me to seek creature comforts and enjoy.
Except in the last seventy-two hours, I can’t say I’ve found any comfort and enjoyment.
There’s a knock on the door. I begrudgingly pull myself from the couch. I look back, wondering if I’ve left a permanent butt dent in the cushion. To my chagrin, the cushion expands back to its original shape. Apparently wasting senseless hours in one spot only leaves an imprint upon you mentally, nothing else is affected.
I throw the door open, half expecting Clara to be here again, but find myself faced with Eli and Brianna. Both have smiles on their faces that disappear the moment they take one look at me. I must look a mess because apparently they’re warming home invasion just took a steer to the right, heading straight toward some sort of intervention.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, my voice is boring drool. It barely travels forward.
“I gave you a couple of days, but I don’t think I can withstand the silent treatment any long,” Eli speaks, no welcome coming from either of them.
“You’re out of luck, I’m not in the mood to talk much,” I say and walk away from the front door. I sluggishly drag myself across the room and practically just fall back onto my spot, resuming where those imaginary indents are. I’m really not in the mood for company, I thought it was just Clara I didn’t want to be around, but apparently the entirety of humanity is going to piss me off.
“We thought you had the flu, not lost your zest for life,” Brianna comments as she advances for the armchair near me and Eli goes into the kitchen.
“Guess The Boss reported back wrong,” I mock and feel a part of me loathe how I’m being, but I’m on the knife’s edge, one swift move and I’ll be breaking down. I run a hand over my face and look at her. “Why are you here anyway?”
Brianna’s face softens toward me, her eyes closing slightly as worry invades her. “Joely, you’ve been home almost three days and never once have I seen the lights off or curtains closed. There is no movement in here, and you look like you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in days.”
“I haven’t,” I tell her, laughing mirthlessly.
“You can’t do this,” Brianna frets. “It’s not healthy.”
I just shrug and fall back. I only sit back up when Eli comes back.
“Get this down you,” Eli said as he passes me my favorite mug, steaming with coffee. He quickly disappears and resurfaces with a cup for himself and Brianna.
I glance over at the clock on the wall and realize it’s barely ten in the morning. I haven’t moved since Clara came by to see me last night. I’ve just sat here with her words resonating soundly. I’m only here by omission because of the doctor. My weight’s plummeted, I’m malnourished and dehydrated. The doctor rehashed the situation with Clara over the phone apparently. I’m on
ly here so red flags aren’t raised by outsiders over the treatment – or lack thereof – of the girls by Clara.
As Eli settles on the opposite end of the couch from me. There’s a silence that beckons upon us and none of us speak. I have nothing really interesting to say, but a lot of hatefully putrid thoughts and feelings begging for a release. Closing my eyes, I summon them to quiet and realize that what I have to say is what Eli and Brianna already know and as Brianna’s fingers drum against the side of her cup, I break.
“I thought I was pregnant,” I whisper as I sit with my hands wrapped firmly around the coffee he made. Immediately, the tears spring to life, and I just shake my head. My life feels like it’s in shambles. The haphazard shards of my life are strewn around me, barricading me in inch by suffocating inch. “Looking back, I’m so pleased I’m not.” I look up and see the pity on Eli’s and Brianna’s faces. “That baby would have been doomed.”
“Lee,” Brianna breaths, unable to form anything else.
Eli shuffles over, taking one of my hands from the side of the mug and holds it tightly. I look at neither. I can’t bring myself to face them when I’ve barely faced myself. Sure I’ve been hit with the start of the flu, but I’ve barely been mentally present. I’ve just sat around in the dark, barely thinking about myself, barely responding to anything. Even when Clara was here, I allowed her spew herself righteous nonsense, but I sat here aimlessly nodding.
“She took me to the clinic to get a check-up, but the test was negative,” I continue and finally look up at Brianna. “There’s no explanation for the nausea and vomiting I’ve been experiencing, but I had hoped for more than a second that it was a baby.” My hand tightens around Eli’s, like I’m drawing strength from him. “It’d have been like having Jace here.” I sniffle and try to prevent myself from shuddering into full-blown tears. “She told me she’d have taken the baby off me the moment it was born.”
“We wouldn’t have let her,” Brianna briskly interrupts. Her beautiful face is rimmed with aggression.
“And how would we do that?” I ask bitterly. “She’s got everyone brainwashed into thinking she’s God. What she says is gospel and no one disobeys that.”
“It’s about time we formed a rebellion,” Brianna begins and gives me a small smirk. “Bit late actually, seeing as you started that a long time ago.”
A small smile graces my lips, but then a thought hits me like a wrecking ball, and I look straight to Eli. “He doesn’t know anything, does he?”
“He knows you’ve been sick, but I didn’t know anything else because someone cut me out remember?” Eli’s question is bitterly twisted and coarse to hear, and I flinch at the sound of it. “I told him you said for us all to give up on you, Gilbert, and he is fuming.” I look away for a moment, shame flooding me. “We’ve gotten this far, do you really think it’s time for us to all say fuck it and leave you to do this all on your own?” he asks me tensely, and I try to banish the blame that’s taken me captive for days. “I only left you outside because I know you’d have wracked yourself with more guilt had I been caught outside and got on the wrong side of Clara again.”
“How can I not blame myself?” I question him. I mean how can he not see why my pool of self-loathing guilt is overflowing? “Look what I’ve caused, Eli. I left and caused anarchy, and then I came back and I’m still leaving a path of destruction.”
“You’re not,” Eli prompts, his inability to agree with me is showing as he clenches his teeth and furrows his brow. “You’ve got to realize we’re all here to stay. We aren’t leaving and that’s it. Everyone’s reaction to your wishes has everyone going ballistic. Jace and I are not the only ones affected by your decisions. Josh isn’t happy and don’t get me even started on how your brother feels over this.”
“Hang on,” Brianna interjects, sitting forward and placing her coffee down onto the table before her. “Brother?”
I gulp and blush, but try to refrain from answering. She doesn’t know the full extent of my deceit and how long it’s been going on for.
“Joely’s brother is one of her clients, as is one of her old friends,” Eli states, filling Brianna in. If he’s telling her, then I believe she’s more than sincere and has learned from her mistakes. Eli doesn’t trust anyone for love nor money. It took me long enough to learn that. “Josh has been a regular at the club, he’s kept up the entire charade we needed him to, but Spencer came in to remind her that her family is doing all they can to help Jace.”
“Well, why is she still sitting here if there’s a small army helping him?” Brianna asks and again the anger radiates from her. “I don’t care how much I love having Joely back, look at her, Eli!” Brianna meets my gaze, I’m wide-eyed and she’s verging on feral! “Don’t give me that look, Joely. Before you left, before you met Jace, you survived; you were able to just do your job. You can’t anymore and look at you. You’re a shadow of yourself. I have felt like me more than I have since the day I snitched you up to Clara. I can cope with you being gone again. In the few weeks you’ve been back, I don’t feel like I need drugs or alcohol to see me through the day, but I cannot stand to see what she’s belittling you down to.”
“I won’t leave you again,” I murmur softly, my voice unable to reach a high octave. “I can’t do that to you again.”
“You’re gonna have to, girlie,” she states blandly, not allowing me to take prisoners. “Clara can’t make the club worse than it is, and I know you wouldn’t just abandon us this time. Not entirely.”
“Like I said, I won’t leave you again,” I state, my voice a bit firmer this time. It reinforces the statement better without leaving me sounding so feebly. I look at Eli. “I can’t leave you there either.”
“I was wondering when you’d worry for my welfare,” Eli mocks and gives me a playful wink. “Plus, I can look after myself, Gilbert.”
“Well that’s decided,” Brianna starts, rubbing her hands together gaily, prepping herself for some grand master plan. “When can we look into finding a loophole in that bitch’s scheme?”
"We are not plotting my great escape." My mind reels that Brianna wants me to get out, but she doesn't realize there is more at stake that I could have ever imagined. This isn't a case of breaking my employment contract, this is now about life and death. Clara has made that abundantly clear. "I can survive whatever she has to give me."
"Can you?" Eli asks, his voice mocked with disbelief. "Don't trick yourself to believe that, Sweetheart, because you and I both know even you have a breaking point. She is pushing you further toward it."
"I have to be strong," I say, more so to myself than either of those two. It's me offering a pep talk to my inner self, telling her to just pick herself up and dust her off. "I know, right now, I'm not quite myself, but I will survive this."
"In what state?" Eli asks.
"I don't know," I mumble and hate how much I've doubted myself and how I'm actually doing in life.
"Exactly, you think you can survive, but Joely, you cannot survive whatever she's got in store for you." He leans forward, wrapping his hand around mine again. “You have been through enough to last a lifetime, don’t give her the opportunity to take another from you.”
"I have to," I state shakily. "It's my only option."
“No, it’s not,” Eli defies me. “Stop pushing us and wait for what Jace is concocting. He hasn’t given up on you.” I know he notices my skepticism over that comment. The longer I’m here, the more my hope is dwindling down. “He doesn’t want me to run the risk of you being caught calling him,” Eli starts to speak and reaches around into his back pocket. “He gave me this last night to give to you.”
I look at the folded paper before I even register Jace’s handwriting scrawled across the front. I take it and shakily open it. My haste has me tearing it slightly, but it’s something written by Jace, I want to know what it is.
The silence settles in as I read away, my heart beat slows to a minimal pace.
Joely,
You are my life, my world, my Viper Girl.
Thought I would clarify that first.
I know the last few weeks have been passing and I am only breaking my promises to you. I have always wondered why you would love me when all I am to you is a failure, but apparently that is a mutual feeling. I will say it now, you are no failure. Especially not in my eyes.
What you did back in the club, saving me, as stupid as it is, was the most courageous thing I have ever seen you do and I will forever be repaying you for that. I have no reason to doubt that choosing to marry you was the best decision of my life. Scratch that. Choosing to fall in love with my Viper Girl was the best decision of my life.
Some might see it as stupid and suicidal, but I never could. How could I ever see you as anything but this guiding light I spent twenty-five years searching for? Simple, I couldn’t and I never would.
I never told you this, but the moment I saw you enter that first party, I felt like the world around me fell away and it took every meeting with you to get it back piece by piece. The world you graced me with was not like the one I lived in before. I lived so long alone and hostile that I never expected a woman like you to revive me. I never told you enough how much I love you or how whenever I kiss you my heart beats a little faster. I never told you how much I dreamed of you in my arms before you were mine.
That first time we danced, I felt like my life began to spin correctly. That first dance only lasted the length of a song, but to me it felt an eternity. My world revolved around you for a reason and the separation makes it harder for me to make it from day to day. Hearing your voice was enough to spark my life back and make me fight harder than I was.
I will take whatever beating, torture, loss to make sure I have you back, but mark my words, Joely Mason, I will have you back. I promise you, you will be seeing me sooner than you think.
The Runaway Viper (Viper #2) Page 18
