Beyond Addiction

by Kit Rocha

“A few,” Finn replied. “I didn’t ask.”

  A single bullet was all it took, and it was one too many. The image of Finn falling out of Hawk’s car flashed in Trix’s mind, and she shook her head to clear it. “This is one fucking morbid pissing contest. Can’t you just compare dick sizes?”

  Ace leaned across the table and whispered loudly enough to be heard in the hallway. “Only if we want Cruz to win.” When Cruz flushed, Ace straightened and gestured. “Come on, new guy. Bet or fold.”

  Finn rubbed his thumb along the inside of her wrist, a casual caress that seemed absentminded until he caught her gaze again. Smiling, he dropped his other hand to his stack of chips and shoved them toward the center of the table. “All in.”

  Oh, she recognized that look. He traced a slow circle against her skin, and Trix swallowed—hard. “I can’t call that bet. I’ll have to fold.”

  “There’s always Zan’s suggestion,” Rachel said mildly. “I’m sure your panties are worth at least five hundred.”

  “Not unless she’s in them,” Ace scoffed. “For five hundred, angel, I’d bend you over my knee and—”

  “Ace.” Cruz sighed and shot Trix an apologetic look. “You know how he gets when he’s worried.”

  “It’s okay,” Finn rumbled, his thumb still making those shivery circles across her skin. “Good to know what the going rates are.”

  Jade propped her chin on one hand and studied Zan. “I hope you can cover the bet. I doubt Finn wants your underwear.”

  “Hey.” Zan pointed at her, then Finn. “You never fucking know, okay?” But he called the bet anyway, tossing in a stack of chips.

  Trix watched Finn. He hadn’t looked at his cards again, which meant they weren’t fabulous. He only reassured himself of good things, checking and rechecking, as if he didn’t quite believe they wouldn’t vanish the moment he turned his back.

  The betting made its way back to Cruz. “I’ll have to live on Rachel’s wealth,” he said, tossing his hand away before flipping over the final card.

  Finn’s hand tightened on hers, and she knew he’d won. On the last lousy card, because his betting hadn’t been the result of strategy, but a reflection of the way he lived—full-bore, straight ahead, no slowing down and no regrets.

  Well, maybe a few.

  Jade grinned at Zan across the table. “No more bets from me, unless Zan really wants to add something to my winnings.”

  “Nope,” Zan said immediately. “I don’t like that gleam in your beautiful eyes.”

  Trix turned over her cards. “Two pair.”

  “A straight for me, and—oh, damn.” Jade made a face as Zan flipped over his cards. “A full house. Finn?”

  Silently, Finn revealed his cards—a two and a seven.

  Ace let out a whoop of laughter. “You crazy, lucky bastard. You went all in on crap and ended up with a straight flush. Now we know your balls are bigger than your brain.”

  “Good thing we weren’t measuring those instead of dicks,” Finn replied, cracking the closest thing to a real smile that Trix had seen cross his face since the game had started.

  She felt an answering smile tugging at her lips. “Crazy and lucky. Ace calls it like he sees it.”

  “Thank God he’s both.” Mad stood at the open door, his conflicted gaze fixed on Finn.

  Trix’s breath caught in her throat. “What is it?”

  “Doc says it’s working. It’ll be a few days before he can take her off the enzyme replacement therapy, but…” Mad’s mouth curved suddenly. A relieved, joyous smile. “Hana’s going to be okay.”

  Rachel raised her arms with a whoop, and Zan dropped his face into his hand. Jade pushed back her chair, but she didn’t circle the table to Mad. She moved past Trix instead, reaching down to clasp Finn’s free hand. “Thank you.”

  Finn looked awkward. Uncomfortable. “It wasn’t really me,” he started. “Noah and Bren did the hard—”

  “Shut up,” Ace interrupted. “You’re this week’s big fucking hero. Enjoy it.”

  If anything, the words only seemed to fluster him more.

  “Trix.” Mad met her gaze across the table, and she could see the hesitation in his eyes. And maybe a hint of apology. “Flash and Amira want to see him.”

  She tossed her cards on the table and rose. “Alone?”

  “You should come too.”

  Finn eased from his chair but caught Jade’s hand when she started to step aside. “Are you okay with me helping out? With your garden, I mean.”

  Jade smiled, with no hint of turmoil in her expression. If the pain Trix had seen earlier was still there, her friend had either made peace with it or moved beyond it. “You made bad choices when you were trapped in a bad place. I’ve made my share of those, too. Most of us have.”

  It wasn’t quite an answer, but it was something more. Forgiveness and an understanding that Finn hadn’t even bothered to ask for, because he would have assumed he didn’t deserve it.

  He’d have to get used to it. You couldn’t play the hero card in Sector Four without the balls to back it up, and if you had those, you had respect. You had affection.

  You had brotherhood.

  Amira answered the door to their apartment, her face streaked with tears. “Come in.”

  Trix kept a tight hold on Finn’s hand as she crossed the threshold and wrapped her other arm around Amira’s neck. “I’m so glad, sweetheart.”

  Amira choked out a laugh and whispered, “Me, too.”

  Flash sat on the couch with Hana in his arms. The sleepy infant had her mother’s dark hair sticking up in all directions and her fingers in her mouth. She looked tiny cradled against Flash’s massive chest, but Flash himself looked even more ragged than Amira.

  He stood slowly, passed his daughter to Amira, and grabbed Finn in a back-pounding hug. “The next time someone tries to fuck with you in the cage, they can have fun trying to grow back their teeth.”

  Amira stood there, staring down at her daughter, one hand clenched in the blanket wrapped around her. “You didn’t have to do it,” she said softly. “No one would have known to ask if you hadn’t said anything.”

  Finn shrugged, trying to dismiss the words. “You’re Trix’s family. I had to do it.”

  Flash smacked him on the back again. “Fuck that. You’re our family now.”

  From the way Finn’s eyes widened, he didn’t know what to do or say. So Trix wound her arm around his and tugged him closer to her side. “It’s new,” she explained.

  Amira and Flash would understand. So many of them had never had families before coming to Sector Four and being welcomed by the O’Kanes. Trix herself had had moments of disbelief, times where she’d felt she didn’t deserve it.

  But family was family, full stop.

  Amira finally looked up at Finn. “You didn’t have to,” she repeated. “But you did. There’s not—” Her voice broke on a sob. “There aren’t any words, okay? Anything you need. Anything.”

  “Okay.” Finn freed one arm and slid it around Amira’s shoulders. It was an awkward hug, tentative and sideways and over fast.

  But it was the first time Trix had seen him reach out to anyone but her. Ever.

  A bright smile broke through Amira’s tears. “Lex says as soon as we’re up to it, they’re going to throw a party. O’Kanes only.”

  “I’m not sure—”

  Flash cut Finn off. “Family,” he said firmly. “Ink makes it official. But you put your life on the line for Trix, and for us. That’s all that matters.”

  Finn didn’t protest again. He slipped his hand into Trix’s and grinned. “An O’Kane party, huh? Are they everything the rumors say?”

  He’d only heard stories, and Trix knew he wouldn’t believe the truth. “You’ll have to see for yourself.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Flash and Amira made an appearance at Dallas’s party, but they cut out early. Trix wasn’t surprised—babies and O’Kane festivities didn’t exactly mix, even when the good healt
h of the baby in question was the reason for the celebration.

  Especially when the party started winding down—or up, depending on your point of view.

  Finn had both arms wrapped around her waist, holding her firmly in his lap as he settled his chin on her shoulder. “It’s not like Five at all, is it?”

  “I told you it wasn’t.” Trix reached up and stroked her fingers through his hair as she watched Dallas and Lex sway together at the edge of the makeshift dance floor.

  He pressed his cheek to hers, tickling her jaw with his newly trimmed beard. “How long did it take you to believe it?”

  Months. Years. She turned her face to his. “You’ve got time.”

  “I’ve got an advantage.” His fingers ghosted up, skating over her breasts to trace the plunging neckline of her white button-up shirt. “I get to see it through your eyes.”

  And through her words. She went around the room, one at a time. “Dallas and Lex are feeling quiet tonight. Private. If they get up to anything, it’ll probably be a gift from him to her. Noelle’s another story.” She nodded to where the woman sat on Jasper’s lap, whispering in his ear. “A hundred credits says she’s telling him all his bedtime stories early.”

  He laughed softly against her ear. “And what kind of bedtime stories does a girl from Eden tell?”

  Trix watched her for a moment, then smiled when she intercepted Noelle’s telling gaze. “Mmm, see how she keeps looking at Rachel?”

  Finn followed Noelle’s gaze. Rachel was dancing in the middle of the room, swaying to her own silent, sensual rhythm. Cruz and Ace were watching her from another couch, Ace sprawled across the cushions with his head resting on Cruz’s thigh. “Yes.”

  “That’s the bedtime story,” Trix murmured. “All the things she’s going to do to Rachel.”

  “Really?” His fingers caught the top button on her shirt. Toyed with it. “What about Rachel? What’s she thinking?”

  Cruz had one protective hand resting on Ace’s chest, and they were both watching Rachel’s movements with something deeper than appreciation. “That tonight’s her lucky night, maybe.”

  “Are the three of them really...?” He trailed off, as if not sure what to call it.

  “Together?” she asked softly. “In love?”

  “A thing.” He smiled against her cheek. “Like us.”

  That made her laugh. “Yes, really.”

  “Huh.” He finally worried the button free and coaxed her shirt open far enough to show off her lace-edged plunge bra. “What about Bren and his snarly girlfriend?”

  “Her name is Six.”

  “Six,” he echoed, then seemed to get distracted as his fingertips found the top edge of the lace. He traced it, his touch warm against her skin. “Christ, I think Emma already has Noah out of his pants.”

  Emma liked to show him off every chance she got. “A hero’s reward, all right.” Trix eased her hand back to tug at Finn’s belt buckle.

  He exhaled roughly and turned his face into her hair. “Is that what you want to do? Claim me in front of everyone?”

  “Yes. And no.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t need to claim you. But I always, always want you.”

  She had his belt open by the time he stilled her hand with his own. “You’re right. You don’t have to claim me. Everyone already knows what I am.”

  Trix shifted on his lap until she was sitting across it and could look down at him. “And what’s that?”

  “Your personal enforcer.” He tugged at the next button, popping it free. “Your own private army.” Another button, and her shirt was undone past her breasts, making it easy for him to run his knuckles between them. “Yours.”

  Goose bumps rose in response to his touch, and she shivered. “I want a lover,” she teased lightly, “not an army.”

  “I’m both.” He traced the curve of her breast with the backs of his fingers, slow and warm. “I’ve been thinking, you know. About all those dirty fantasies I have.”

  “Yeah? Tell me more.”

  He parted two fingers and brought them back together around her nipple, pinching until she arched her back. “They’re all the same, really.”

  She swallowed a whimper. “Tell me.”

  “I wanna make you feel, baby doll.” He dragged her forehead to his, dropping his voice to a rough, seductive whisper against her lips. “I did it all the wrong ways last time. I still can’t believe you trust me, but I’m too damn greedy to care. I wanna see how high you can fly when the only thing we’re hooked on is each other.”

  Trix froze as longing twisted in her belly, at once familiar and brand new. So many things she’d always wanted, but this was the first time she could have them. Him. The thought alone was more seductive than his whisper, and the possibilities...

  Endless.

  “Finn.” His name escaped her a half-second before her lips met his.

  He slid both hands into her hair, disrupting her careful curls and dislodging hairpins. She didn’t care, not when he tilted his head and pulled her into a deep, reckless kiss.

  The room dissolved as his tongue rasped over hers and his teeth scored her lip. Even the low, throbbing music seemed to melt into an echo of their kiss, another sense wrapped up in the contact.

  He ended the kiss with a soft nip to her lower lip and licked away the sting. “Is that a yes?”

  “Always.” With every breath, every heartbeat.

  “Good. Because I think Dallas just summoned us.”

  She looked over her shoulder. Dallas was sprawled out on his couch on the dais with Lex curled up at his side, absently stroking the edge of his vest. He beckoned them with a lazy gesture, and her hand tightened around the leather.

  Dallas smiled—a smile Trix had seen a hundred times before. A smile that sent a shiver racing up her spine, a promise of pure, delicious trouble.

  Oh, God. She turned back to Finn. “Ever wanted to see Lex naked?”

  He choked on a noise—something caught between a laugh and a groan. “Is that what’s about to happen?”

  “She likes you, you know.” And Emma wasn’t the only one with the urge to show off her man. Trix slid off Finn’s lap and held out her hand. “Can’t keep the king and queen waiting.”

  As they approached the dais, Dallas hauled Lex into his lap. He slapped a hand on the cushion beside them and smiled lazily. “Have a seat, Finn. You should have the best view for your first party, eh?”

  Finn stepped up and offered Trix his hand to steady her. “I don’t think there’s a bad view in here.”

  “Because you like to watch?” Lex asked innocently.

  “Starting to think it’s not so bad.”

  “Good news.” She grinned as she leaned over and rubbed a smudge of lipstick from the corner of his mouth. “You should keep him, honey.”

  Trix propped her hands on her hips and kept her tone light, flirtatious. Just shy of a challenge. “I plan on it.”

  Lex’s grin softened into a warm smile as she peered at the lipstick left behind on her thumb. “Can I borrow this sometime? I bet it’d look good on Dallas.”

  Not on his lips, either. “Anytime, sweetheart.”

  Dallas hauled Lex back against him with a laugh. “Be gentle, love. It’s his first time.”

  Some of Fleming’s parties in Five had been wilder, but in a different way. They were all about taking—drugs, alcohol, sex, all without a thought spared for anyone else’s desires. This was about giving, a distinction Finn had noticed the moment they’d walked in the door.

  And she was about to show him how right he’d been.

  Trix kicked off her shoes and knelt on the couch in the space between Dallas and Finn. “They have something in common,” she told Lex.

  Lex sat up straight, curiosity sparking in her dark eyes. “Yeah? What’s that?”

  She leaned closer, close enough to whisper in Lex’s ear. “They both want to know how high we can fly.”

  Dallas must have heard her, because he reached past L
ex to stroke Trix’s cheek. “Higher than you know, Trix. Higher than he knows.”

  Finn’s fingertips snuck under the hem of Trix’s shirt, warm and rough against the small of her back. “Show us.”

  It wasn’t a command, and it wasn’t permission. It was a plea, and she shuddered when Lex covered Dallas’s hand with hers, holding it in place on Trix’s face as she swooped in for a kiss.

  It was hungry, a little rough, a far cry from the slow, seductive caress Trix had anticipated. She whimpered, and Lex swallowed her shocked noise.

  And then Dallas spoke, low and soft, every word heavy with confidence and control as he twisted his free hand in Lex’s hair and pulled her back. “She’s so hungry for you, Trix, that she forgot to lay down the rules first. But I think we only need one.” He nodded to Finn without releasing Trix’s gaze. “Do you trust him to draw the lines for you tonight?”

  She couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t drawn her lines, good or bad. Every boundary she had was so intimately connected with Finn that he could redraw them in a split second. Her pleasure and his, intertwined so completely that his desire was all she needed to crave something, too.

  Back in Five, it would have been dangerous. She could have lost herself. But she knew who she was here, and that she was surrounded by love.

  “I trust him.” The words came out husky, breathless. “With everything.”

  Finn splayed his fingers protectively on the small of her back. “You trust all three of us,” he corrected, and he didn’t sound jealous. He sounded relieved, as if he recognized the safety net for what it was—the chance to let go and know no one would be hurt.

  And Dallas knew it. He smiled and brushed his thumb over Trix’s lip, undoubtedly smearing her lipstick again. “That’s right. All three of us, doing our damnedest to send you flying straight to the moon. Is that what you want, darling? Be sure.”

  Trix waited for the uncertainty to break over her in a chilling wave, but it never came. She felt only the lingering warmth of touch, sparked even hotter by anticipation. “I’m sure.”

  “Good.” Dallas released Lex’s hair but gave her a stern look. “Next time you want to lick her...”

  “I’ll ask,” she breathed, shifting closer to Trix. “Slowly, with as many dirty fucking words as possible.”