Primal Desire

by Axl Goode

Men like that didn’t have anything to offer her and were far overrated, she thought.

  Brenley preferred the company of intelligent and stimulating guys who could keep up with her mentally. But she also needed to share an emotional connection. She wasn’t sure why Zane always caught her attention when he walked in but he did.

  She had been reading over her notes for a meeting later that morning and had been surprised when Jennifer walked in.

  “Good morning, Brenley.”

  “Good morning. How are you today, Jennifer?”

  “I’m great. I have a quick request. Zane Anthony is downstairs and would like to meet with you.”

  “Tell him I’m busy. I’m preparing for a meeting later.”

  “I can’t tell him that. You do know who he is, right?”

  Of course I know who he is. That’s why I don’t want to meet him. Instead of speaking her mind, she tried to bluff her way out of it. “Yes I’m aware that he’s a beloved client of this bank, but if he wants to see me he can make an appointment.”

  “Brenley, you know how bad it will reflect on you if I go back down there and tell him that. He’s a celebrity. All he will have to do is say one word that he feels like you were rude—“

  “Fine. Bring him up but please let him know I don’t have long,” she said with deliberate exasperation.

  For whatever reason, Jennifer was determined for her to see him. It was odd but Jennifer seemed quite insulted that someone wouldn’t want to meet Zane Anthony. In the end she had no choice but to relent and agree to a short meeting. After bringing him upstairs, Jennifer left and Brenley returned to her chair.

  She watched as he surveyed the room with a calculating look. There was just something about him that put her on edge. She refused to be intimidated though. She was in complete control here and didn’t care who was sitting across from her. Studying his face, she thought it was odd that he had such intelligent eyes when she was sure he couldn’t be more than surface deep. Finally looking at her, he started the conversation that had ruined her day. It had all gone downhill from there.

  She had only intended to be brief with him and get him out of her office. She didn’t have time to waste explaining the complexities of what she did to someone like him. Unfortunately she just couldn’t help saying so and ended up treating him like the depthless person she thought he was. It hadn’t actually been that terribly bad until out of nowhere he asked why she treated him differently. She was taken aback and didn’t really know what to say but was also embarrassed that she had let her feelings show so much.

  He does have a point, she conceded. She did have a habit of ignoring him and looking at him in a condescending manner. He was just all fluff and she knew it. Why should she give him any respect when all he did was use his looks and charm to get whatever he wanted? She hadn’t meant to get so upset but there was just something about his attitude that aggravated her.

  He said she was no better than anyone else just because she sat in her office with her business suit on. She had worked very hard for everything she had gotten and at least she presented herself in a professional manner. All he did was wear jeans and a fitted black T-shirt with black biker boots and prance around smiling. She was highly intelligent with a degree and a successful job. More than she could say about him.

  She felt like everything she had said was what he deserved but then why had it bothered her all day? Her meeting went terribly and everyone could tell she was clearly off—which never happened. She was always the most prepared and on-point person in the room. It was a good thing nothing major happened with the markets because after the encounter she hadn’t even been able to accomplish an hour’s worth of work.

  Never one to be easily distracted, she tried to think back on why she was so hung up on this and couldn’t move on. All she could see in her mind were those piercing eyes, which seemed to indicate he wasn’t just all fluff or as vapid as she assumed.

  He had boldly confronted her on how she acted towards him. She grit her teeth. It infuriated her but also made her feel a little small. Could he possibly read her that easily? She thought for a moment that maybe she had been wrong about Zane Anthony. Maybe there was actually more to him than she had initially given him credit for. Before she could stop herself, she thought of how big his arms were and what they would feel like. Then she quickly concluded she must be out of her mind and decided to call it a night.

  Chapter Two

  For the last few days, Brenley had regretfully developed the urge to call her younger sister Peighton, who lived in Malibu. Loving her sister was one thing and liking her was another altogether. They were three years apart and couldn’t be more different. Her sister was the epitome of everything she wasn’t.

  Curled up tightly in a bowl chair at her apartment, she looked at her sister’s number in her phone. Perhaps she was too unyielding on how she thought her sister should act. They had been near inseparable until Brenley reached high school; after that her attitude towards life changed.

  She came from a middle-class family that had good morals and work ethics. Growing up in McKinney, Texas she had the opportunities of a big town but also lived in a quiet suburb. Her parents did the best they could but weren’t around as much as she would have liked. They had good intentions but were often caught up in their own lives so she never really received the attention she sought.

  Being the eldest, her parents pressured her to excel in school and be a good example to her sister. She took her role very seriously and worked vigorously to get straight As. Even though she did well in school and always brought home a sterling report card her parents never gave her any recognition from it. They just expected more of the same and never acknowledged how hard she worked to achieve it. She took her frustrations out in sports, bringing the same tenacity to volleyball and track as she did with her academics.

  At the time, everything seemed so life or death, like the world would end if she failed. She supposed that’s the way all things seem when you’re a teenager but she also had a level of loneliness above her peers. Of course, she developed friends in school but they always seemed unable to relate to how she felt in the world.

  The person she could always connect to the best was her younger sister Peighton. She was always the big sister and wanted better for her younger sister than what she felt like she had received. She also had a very distinct sense of protectiveness towards her, considering her parents had been rather apathetic towards Brenley as long as she was doing well. She had a very close relationship with her younger sister and would do anything at all for her.

  The rift between her and Peighton started to form slowly throughout high school. Her parents hadn’t put near the pressure on Peighton as they had on her. This caused a stirring of envy in her belly, as she clutched her phone recalling her past. It wasn’t her sister’s fault, it was just how it had turned out.

  Where her parents had pressured Brenley to do well, they were simply full of love and acceptance towards Peighton. If she didn’t do well, it wasn’t a big deal at all. However, the knife that really cut deep was how her sister always overshadowed her. She never put in effort for anything but she didn’t have to. It came naturally to her. She got good grades and breezed through advanced classes like it was no effort at all. Even in sports she did the bare minimum yet possessed a natural talent beyond that of others, including Brenley.

  Physically, Peighton had developed early, enjoying attention from boys Brenley’s age, who should have been interested in her. Brenley had always been self-conscious about her body and even though she was impeccably fit, she didn’t feel like she was the shapeliest. Boys in high school were intimidated by her tenacity toward life and at the time had gone after easier prey that enjoyed their attempts at flattery. Of course, her younger sister had a very outgoing personality and had more attention than she knew what to do with.

  Resentment filled Brenley’s body with a hot wave of emotion. The special treatment her sister constantly had received for he
r entire life was completely unwarranted. Professors let her turn papers in late; employers excused her for skipping work. It just wasn’t right. Using her beauty, she went through guy after guy. Thinking about the real reason they were so estranged today sent a wave of sorrow fluttering through her body. She didn’t want to think about it but couldn’t stop herself.

  In her sophomore year of college, she met Warren. She had been studying inside the campus coffee shop when in walked a lanky guy with an angular face and progressive, framed glasses. She thought he was so handsome as he sat down in the chair beside her and pulled out his laptop. They started talking and she realized there was an instant connection.

  He was already a wealthy guy. His father had made a fortune in oil and gas. He was majoring in accounting even though he was already set for life. They dated for two years and were living together. Brenley was starting to expect a proposal soon. Tears welled up in her eyes, as she thought back, all alone in her chair at home. Everything seemed perfect until one day two of her classes were canceled. She drove thirty minutes to get Warren’s favorite meal from a restaurant to surprise him. Still, she made it home an hour early. She walked in, finding her sister on top of Warren in their bed.

  A tear trickled down Brenley’s face as the images flooded through her mind all over again. Seeing her sister with the one man she had found in all her life broke her heart in a way she didn’t think possible. Even though Brenley wasn’t as close to Peighton as she could be, she never thought her sister would do something so low.

  Six years later, she could still feel the sting of betrayal from the two people she had been closest to. All she could do at the time was walk out, get in her car and drive. She ended up at her best friend Megan Fulmer’s house, crying about it for the rest of the night.

  Warren and Peighton were the two people she had trusted more than anyone in her life—even her parents—and they had betrayed her at the same time.

  As a kid, she had been more unguarded but she began to erect walls to protect herself. The disturbing part was she had given a large part of herself to each of them, allowing herself to be open with them. Emotionally crushed, she couldn’t stop crying. No words could describe the anguish she felt at the betrayal. Brenley’s heart felt as if it had broken into a thousand pieces and her soul had departed from her body. The emotions just kept coming and she kept seeing her sister on top of Warren.

  The pain was excruciating so she did the only thing she could. She started to wall off her emotions again. She had cried endlessly for several months after the encounter but it slowly became less and less. In hindsight, it might have helped if she had someone to help her to reconnect to the world but she didn’t. Megan tried to be there for her as much as possible but the emotional fallout was too much.

  Her sister and Warren both apologized but said they were in love. Brenley had naively thought somehow the situation could be salvaged until she found out they were seeing each other. She could tell her sister felt awful about it but it didn’t deter her from stealing away the man she was in love with. Brenley ended up finishing college with her degree in finance but was numb to the world.

  The worst part was, a year later her sister accepted Warren’s proposal. They were now married, a constant reminder of her heartbreak. Now she was home alone, with a wall of stone between her and her emotions. Or so she thought. She decided against calling her sister, thinking it was better to not say anything at all after recalling such painful memories.

  She wondered if she would ever find someone again or spend the rest of her life alone. Her feelings were hard to admit but as much as she tried, she couldn’t deny how extremely lonely she was. Plenty of men showed interest in her now. However, none of them came close to breaking through her barrier. All they did was remind her of the heartache she experienced and never wanted to go through again. She no longer felt safe. Her heart didn’t feel secure with anyone. She had given the most important part of herself to Warren and Peighton. Even with the passage of time she still didn’t feel as if she would ever recover from it.

  She decided to go to sleep and moved over to the couch, not liking to sleep in her bed alone. As she slowly drifted off, all she could think of was how someday she hoped someone would find a way to penetrate her wall of emotional fortitude. Then she would finally be free of the pain she had been carrying all these years.

  * * * * *

  Zane walked into his favorite coffee shop. It was right down the road from his townhome and secluded enough to have a private conversation. Low-sitting leather chairs scattered the room. Hardly anyone was there in the middle of the afternoon making it the perfect location to have an interview. Towards the back of the shop, a balding man sat on his laptop. Noticing Zane, he stood up to greet him.

  “Zane Anthony, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Neil Ottman.” He spoke fast but in a soft voice.

  “It’s nice to meet you Neil. I’m a fan of your work.” It’s always good to flatter your interviewer, Zane thought.

  “Likewise. I love this little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop.”

  “It’s great isn’t it? I don’t know how they stay in business but whatever. I’m going to grab a coffee real quick. Would you like anything?”

  “I’m fine. Thank you. I already have some.”

  Walking to the register, Zane ordered an iced coffee. After dressing it with a little creamer he headed back to where Neil sat, plopping down in a chair opposite him.

  “Okay, so we want this article to be all about you. We’d prefer not to focus on your current career as much, there’s plenty of articles about that already. We want to do a sort of inside look. Where you came from. How you grew up, that kind of thing.

  “Sounds great to me. Let’s get started!” Zane said, turning his signature charisma on. Sipping on his coffee cooled some of the nervousness he was feeling. This would be his first interview to truly explore his past and where he came from. Placing a recorder on the table, Neil glanced over his list of questions.

  “For the record, please state your name for me.”

  “Zane Anthony.”

  “Thank you. Where are you from?”

  “I’m from Conway, Arkansas. It’s a small town in the middle of the state.”

  “Tell me a little bit about your life when you were younger.”

  “It was great, to be honest. I have a brother who’s a year older than I am.”

  Neil perked up. “What’s his name?”

  “Julian.”

  “ I doubt many people know that.”

  “No, I’m a relatively private person.”

  “I understand that. Continue please.”

  “My parents are wonderful. I have a great relationship with both of them. We didn’t have a lot of money but I never really wanted for anything at the same time. Both of my parents are well-educated but placed more emphasis on values in life.” Pausing, he thought about how to continue. “I think my younger years really defined a lot of who I am today. I really can’t imagine growing up in a better home. My parents always challenged me to think and extend my views of the world.”

  “Tell me a little bit about that,” Neil inquired.

  “Well they treated both me and my brother like adults from a young age. Even as kids we had a lot of intelligent and philosophical conversations. I think it helped me gain much of the perspective I have today. It also helped raise my emotional intelligence, the type that helps me connect to others so well as an actor.”

  “That’s very interesting. Were you and your brother close growing up?”

  “Very. We’ve always been close. He’s my brother but we’re also best friends.”

  “Can you elaborate a little more on your relationship there? What’s the dynamic like between you two?”

  “Well, being a year older, he was first to do a lot of things but I was always right there. We didn’t particularly compete against each other very much. He really helped and encouraged me a lot. My brother is very in-tune with people emotionall
y. Ever since we were younger he’s been more sensitive but he’s also more aware of the needs of others. That being said, even though I was younger people knew if they messed with him, they were messing with me as well.”

  “Does your brother share your same physical attributes?”

  “He’s not quite as big as me, but we look very similar.”

  “I see. So moving on, tell me about high school for you.”

  A smile crossed Zane’s face. “Ahhh. High school was fun. I’ve always been pretty gifted physically so I was a standout athlete. By my junior year I was one of the top quarterbacks in the nation. I had a fair amount of scholarship offers but turned them all down.”

  “Why is that?”

  “You’re going to laugh, but I’m actually kind of a nerd.”

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “I know. Not many people realize. Actually, entering the ninth grade I started becoming more and more interested in knowledge. I always liked reading and started doing more of it. I spent most of my days reading through my classes. My teachers hated it but the classes were easy and I always got good grades so they couldn’t say much.”

  “Were you popular?”

  “I would say I was well liked but not in the ‘popular’ crowd. I’ve never had a huge social network of people who are close to me. Not to mention I worked a lot from a young age so I didn’t have the time to socialize that most kids had.”

  “What kind of work did you do?”

  “My family owned a farm and construction business. I spent a lot of time helping with that. I’d come home from school and do whatever work needed to be done. I really enjoyed it. There’s something very gratifying about doing physical labor like that.”

  Laughing, Neil said, “I never would have pictured you working on a farm or doing construction work!”

  Zane chuckled. “It happens. That’s where my family needed me, and luckily I didn’t mind getting my hands dirty.”

  “What happened after high school? Where did you go from there?”