The Origins of Heartbreak: A Lesbian Medical Romance (Lakeside Hospital Book 1)

by Cara Malone

“Well, the poverty thing is temporary,” Megan said sarcastically. “But this gorgeous face is forever.”

  “Oh, and you’re so modest.”

  “Whatever, you know you’re a knock-out, too,” Megan said. “In fact, I don’t think we could ever be together because it would be unfair to the rest of the world, but we could probably go on a little adventure together if you’re up for it.”

  “What do you have in mind?” Alex asked.

  “Well, I might have contracted this disease, and they tell me it’s contagious,” Megan said. “I have to go to the pharmacy and fill an antibiotic prescription. Want to come with me?”

  “Oh, yeah,” Alex said. “I might have that same problem, now that you mention it.”

  “Perfect,” Megan said, pushing the lab door open and stepping aside. “After you.”

  They headed back to the elevators and Megan pushed the button for the second floor, where the signs on the wall told her the pharmacy was located. She was biting her lip and considered Alex’s most likely reaction if she shoved her up against the elevator wall and kissed her right then and there. But then elderly man stepped onto the elevator as the doors slid shut, breaking up Megan’s fantasy.

  That was okay—it was probably time to pump the breaks anyway. Megan was interested in Alex, and she would definitely be up for some casual hospital hooking up, but she should make sure that was what Alex wanted, too, before pouncing on her in the elevator.

  Megan didn’t have room in her life—or her heart—for anything more than a hook up, and even those could be tricky to navigate around a medical school schedule and a nosy roommate. She hadn’t been with anyone besides a few one-night stands and a superficial summer fling since her one and only long-term relationship ended a year and a half ago.

  “Could one of you ladies select floor one for me?” the man asked, and Alex reached forward and hit the button for him. She glanced at Megan with a hint of desire, like she might have enjoyed being pushed up against the elevator wall if they had been alone, and the tingling sensation in Megan’s belly intensified. She decided to use the rest of their little impromptu adventure to find out exactly what Alex wanted, and make her own expectations clear.

  They got out on the second floor and Megan read the directory again to find out where the pharmacy was, then hooked her arm around Alex’s elbow to lead her toward it. Alex blushed, but she didn’t move away. They made their way down a long hallway with empty gurneys lining the walls, just waiting for patients. Alex asked Megan questions about medical school—all the usual stuff that people wanted to know as soon as Megan told them she was going to be a doctor.

  What did you study in undergrad? How hard is the curriculum, really? What do you want to specialize in?

  Megan answered them all, mostly just rattling off the memorized answers she had been giving to her friends and relatives for years now. Then Alex threw her a curveball as she said, “This is the strangest first date I’ve ever been on.”

  “Date?” Megan asked, and she watched Alex’s expression cloud self-consciously.

  “Or adventure, as you called it,” she added quickly. “Strangest adventure.”

  Megan gave her a quick laugh and decided to divert the conversation back to the playful, teasing, and not at all date-worthy tone they’d been enjoying. She didn’t want to give Alex the wrong idea. She gestured to the hallway and said in a purposefully lascivious tone, “Do you want to make it the strangest hook-up you’ve ever had? On medical TV shows there’s a call room in every hall.”

  “Jeez,” Alex said, acting offended and rolling her eyes. “If you’re not going to buy me dinner first then the least you could do is take me to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription before you put the moves on.”

  “What kind of girl do you think I am?” Megan asked, putting her hand to her chest in offense.

  “The kind that wants to seduce me in a call room,” Alex said with a smirk. Then she slipped her hand into Megan’s and added, “I’m not saying I hate the idea, but we really do need to get those antibiotics or it’ll be the last thing we do.”

  The pharmacy turned out to be even more crowded than the lab, and they ended up waiting for their prescriptions for more than twenty minutes, unable to even find two chairs together so they could sit down. They used that time to continue, in whispered tones, their conversation from the hallway. Megan could feel the blood rising in her cheeks as they continued to talk about their desire for each other in innuendos, and while she’d mentioned the call room as a joke, her whole body was eager to make good on her words. She wanted nothing more than to put her hands on Alex’s hips, pull her close, and taste her lips, but their audience of sick people waiting for their prescriptions would not have appreciated a show like that, and she could only keep teasing Alex.

  When they finally had their prescriptions in hand, they stood outside of the pharmacy and Megan, biting her lip and itching to get closer to Alex, asked, “What do you want to do now?”

  Alex checked the time on her phone and said, “I have forty-five minutes before class starts, and it takes fifteen to get there from here. I don’t have time for much.”

  Megan didn’t want to let her go yet—not with all of that pent-up desire still simmering between them. So she said, “There’s a cafeteria around here somewhere. Want to get a cup of coffee or a snack before class?”

  “Sure,” Alex said. “We should take our first dose of antibiotics anyway.”

  So they headed back down the hall in search of the cafeteria, but they didn’t make it very far in that direction.

  They were walking past a nurse’s station, Megan thinking about taking Alex’s hand again as it swung between them, when a door opened in the hall and they both had to leap out of the way to avoid being hit. Alex bumped into Megan and her pulse quickened.

  “That’s not very safe for a hospital,” Alex murmured as a guy with wrinkled scrubs and a bad case of bedhead rushed out of the room. He was looking down at his pager and he spared a disinterested glance at Alex, then hurried down the hall.

  “Medical resident,” Megan guessed. “He must have gotten a code.”

  She nearly kept walking, but then a wicked idea grabbed hold of her. She caught the door before it could swing shut and glanced inside. There were three cots—two in bunkbed formation and one stand-alone bed—and a small end table with an alarm clock on it, but otherwise the room was empty. Arching her eyebrow at Alex, Megan took her by the hand and pulled her inside. “Come on. Quick, before someone sees us.”

  Alex turned her head to make sure the coast was clear, but the only other person in the hallway was a girl returning to the nurse’s station who was only interested in answering the phone ringing on her desk. She didn’t even notice Megan and Alex slip into the call room.

  “We’re going to get in trouble,” Alex said as the door shut quietly behind them. “We shouldn’t be in here.”

  “That’s what makes it fun,” Megan answered. She was still holding Alex’s hand, rubbing her thumb over her soft skin. Alex looked flushed and nervous and excited all at the same time. It was the same way Megan felt, and she couldn’t remember the last time a girl had this intense of an effect on her.

  “Does this door even lock?” Alex asked nervously, reaching behind her to feel for the knob. Instead of responding, Megan leaned in and gently kissed her.

  Her lips tasted as sweet as they looked, plump and tender with a faint hint of something fruity from her lip balm. The lilac smell of her hair wafted over to Megan and she wanted to melt into her. Alex forgot about the non-existent door lock and gave her attention to Megan.

  She put her hand on the side of Megan’s cheek, her finger tracing the line of her jaw. Such a simple touch sent shivers all through her, and there was just something about Alex that made Megan want to go feral and tear her clothes off. But Alex was holding her back, making her go slowly, and that felt pretty good, too.

  She stepped closer, putting her hands on Alex’s waist as she
kissed her again, slowly, sensually. She wanted to taste every inch of her and commit every second of this bliss to memory because she had no idea when she’d have time for another moment like this.

  Alex put her arms around Megan’s shoulders and allowed her body to come closer, the curves of her breasts grazing Megan’s chest and her hips inching teasingly close to Megan’s own. She exhaled, her breath hot against Megan’s skin, and she was pretty sure that fruity smell from her lips was raspberries. A small moan escaped Megan’s mouth and then Alex was leaning back into her, parting her lips and sliding her tongue tentatively into her mouth.

  Megan felt electricity coursing through her body, concentrating between her thighs, and she squeezed Alex’s hips a little tighter as she brought their tongues to touch. She took another step forward, bringing their bodies together and Alex’s back to the door, and she could hear Alex’s breathing grow heavier. She was enjoying this, and it was exactly what Megan needed after the last couple of difficult days. All of her concerns about class rank and med school nemeses and meningitis patients floated away, and she allowed herself to concentrate fully on the sensations of touching and kissing Alex.

  There was no more need for sarcasm, or innuendos, or the pretense of a silly hospital adventure. All that was left between them was desire, and Megan pressed her lips a little more urgently against Alex’s mouth.

  She slid one hand beneath the hem of Alex’s shirt, and her fingertips found the underwire of her bra before Alex pushed her hand away and then spun her around, turning Megan’s back to the door as Megan let out a surprised, pleased little groan. She couldn’t remember the last time she wanted someone this badly.

  Alex slid her hands down Megan’s sides, sending another wave of shivers down into Megan’s core, and then her supple lips found the curve of Megan’s jaw. She kissed the corner of her mouth, and then her chin, and then she left a trail of kisses all the way along Megan’s jaw and down her neck to her collar bone. Megan felt her whole body igniting with desire, wondering just how far they could go in a room like this.

  Alex was right, though—that door didn’t lock, and they shouldn’t be in there.

  But Megan didn’t want to be anywhere else. As soon as Alex stood upright again, smirking seductively at Megan with those steely eyes, she wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist and began walking her toward one of the beds. They kissed passionately as she slowly guided Alex backward, and as soon as Alex’s calves hit the mattress, her eyes popped open with alarm.

  “Wait,” she said.

  “It’s okay,” Megan said reassuringly. “No one’s going to walk in on us.”

  “You don’t know that,” Alex shot back, and Megan had to smile.

  “You’re right,” she said. “But it’s worth the risk, isn’t it?”

  She leaned back in and kissed Alex again, gently, on the lips, but when she tried to lower her onto the bed, Alex pushed her back and stepped away from the bed, saying irritably, “It’s almost ten—I’m going to be late for class.”

  “Skip it,” Megan said, or rather begged, but Alex was already heading for the door.

  “I can’t,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

  And then she was gone, the door slowly shutting behind her while Megan was left alone in the call room, wondering what the hell had gone wrong.

  Eleven

  Alex power-walked out of the hospital as fast as her legs would take her. A few dozen thoughts were buzzing through her head and she desperately wanted to shut them all out.

  She had felt nervous about flirting with Megan, and even a little bit guilty. It wasn’t something that she’d been interested in since her dad died, and for the past year it seemed almost inappropriate to think about girls when the rest of her world had come crashing down around her. Alex thought that giving in to the temptation of Megan might feel as if she was announcing that the mourning period was over and it was time to forget about her father. She wasn’t ready to move on yet, and she wasn’t ready to find out what it felt like to be intimate with someone again after so long.

  There was fear there, too.

  Her anti-depressants had stolen her libido last year, along with most of the rest of her emotions, and that had been fine by Alex. Who wanted to think about sex in the middle of a grieving period? She always assumed her sexuality would be there when she wanted it back, but a scared little voice in the back of her mind didn’t want to find out otherwise. What if she’d gone further with Megan, let her touch her, and nothing happened? What if her body was just as numb as her mind?

  Five minutes in a call room with a gorgeous woman was all Alex needed to feel scared, guilty and embarrassed, and after the way she flew out of the room, she wanted to create as much distance as possible between herself and Megan.

  Alex spent most of the class that day trying not to think about it—about her fear, or about the abrupt way she’d left Megan in that call room. She took meticulous notes on even the most common sense things that Mr. Chase was teaching them just to occupy her hands. The busier she was, the less opportunity her embarrassment and guilt would have to burn in her cheeks and the less she would wonder what Megan must be thinking of her hasty retreat.

  By the time Mr. Chase ended class a little after noon, Alex had done her best to repress the incident. If she could forget it happened, then she wouldn’t need to deal with it any further. Maybe Megan would do her a favor and forget about it, too.

  Alex went home, stopping at a burger joint on the way because her mother had a weakness for the fries there. On a better day, Alex would have cooked something fresh for lunch—maybe a couple of paninis or a salad topped with chicken breast for protein. She wasn’t the best cook in the world, but she’d learned a thing or two from her parents over the years and it was the least she could do to keep her mother and herself on a balanced diet.

  Today, though, she was exhausted by noon and burgers would have to do.

  “Ooh, is that Epic Burger?” her mother asked as soon as she came in the door. She perked up as Alex came into the living room and plopped the greasy bag down on the coffee table. “What’s the occasion?”

  Heartbreak and humiliation, Alex wanted to say, but she didn’t dare admit that to her mother, so instead she just said, “I happened to drive past it and the line wasn’t too long.”

  She went into the kitchen and grabbed a couple plates, coming back and passing one to her mother so they could divvy up the fries. The Home Shopping Network droned in the background as usual, just loud enough to be distracting as Alex noticed that the product of the hour was a set of LED lights for kitchen cabinets.

  “Only nineteen ninety-five,” the host was saying with a permanent smile stretched across his lips. “You could illuminate your whole kitchen for under a hundred bucks!”

  Alex wondered if her mother had purchased them already. She didn’t buy everything that came across the screen, but stuff like that was easy to justify with a thought like, Next week I’ll finally get off the couch, and installing a set of under-cabinet LED lights will give me just the motivation I need.

  In reality, the box would sit unopened in the garage along with all the other stuff she bought. Alex stopped going out there after a while because it was beginning to look like an episode of Hoarders, and she didn’t like seeing her father’s old hang-out spot like that. Sometimes she wondered if her mother was doing it on purpose, filling up the physical space he used to inhabit with junk to fill the void his absence had left behind.

  “They offer you stock in the company yet?” Alex asked as she dug her burger out of the bottom of the bag. “You might as well invest, you’re paying that host’s salary anyway.”

  “Don’t sass me,” her mother said, rolling her eyes. She sat back with her burger and fries on a plate in her lap. Alex noted with slight surprise that she’d changed into a fresh pair of sweatpants, and her hair was damp from the shower. It wasn’t much, but it was something, and she didn’t want to give her mom a hard time.

  Dana
McHenry’s life had come to a screeching halt the day her husband of twenty-five years passed away, and if she needed to sit on the couch and buy stupid gadgets from the television in order to deal with it, Alex wasn’t going to stop her. They each had their own coping mechanisms, and she knew her mother would snap out of it when she was ready.

  “I don’t want to alarm you folks,” the host was saying, “but we’ve got less than a hundred units left and these will sell out. If you want these fantastic under-cabinet LED lights, you better jump on it.”

  Alex’s mother reached for her laptop with one hand while she shoved a fry in her mouth with the other. Alex let out an inaudible sigh and said, “I have homework so I’m going to eat in my room.”

  “Okay, baby,” her mother said, opening her laptop as Alex took her plate down the hall. Just because she thought her mother needed to work through her father’s death in her own way didn’t mean that Alex wanted a front row seat to watch the grieving process. She’d seen enough of that already in the mirror.

  Twelve

  Alex was sitting at her desk, her eyes beginning to glaze over from staring too long at her Paramedic Care: Principles and Practice textbook, when her phone began to ring, providing a welcome distraction.

  She reached over her empty plate and picked it up, and was surprised to see that it was Megan’s number. Alex hesitated for just a second, wondering how this call would go after their tumultuous morning, and then she answered.

  “This must be a pocket dial,” she said, trying to sound casual as her cheeks grew warm. She was rewarded with Megan’s sweet laugh.

  “Is that the same thing as a booty call?” Megan asked. “I’m not up on all the slang that kids these days use.”

  “I’m not that much younger than you,” Alex objected. She was relieved that Megan was allowing her to skip all the awkwardness of their last encounter and instead pick right back up with the teasing tone that had quickly become habitual between them.