On the Road: (Vagabonds Book 2) (New Adult Rock Star Romance)

by Jamison, Jade C.

  But, for now, it was just us girls—just the sane ones, thank you. When I saw them, I asked just to clarify, “Anyone else coming?”

  “Nope.”

  Internally, I felt a weight slide off my back. “Where we goin’?”

  “I saw a few restaurants and cafés on this street that might fit the bill. I say we walk a little until the smells pull us in.”

  That sounded like Liz. One thing I’d say for the girl was that she’d allowed her tastes to change—and become less finicky, more like a rock star—the longer she’d been with us. I was pretty damned sure she’d never set foot in a Wendy’s until she’d been on tour with us. And, if she had, it was only because of her high school friends. I’d bet my last dollar her parents had never taken her and her sisters to any fast food restaurant. I could tell by her discomfort in those places, but I’d also bet my second-to-last dollar she always knew what fork and spoon to use, even if there were three of each at a fancy dinner.

  I liked Liz, though. Out of everyone else in my group, she seemed to share similar work ethics with me. Yep, she partied and was also beginning to explore her sexual appetites now that we had ultimate freedom on the road (hell, I’d even forgotten by this point that we were supposed to pretend to care about our education), but she still had the big picture in mind, just like I did. We couldn’t continue to enjoy this freedom if we didn’t perform. It was as plain and simple as that. And, if we put on a shitty performance, our freedom wouldn’t last long. Nope. We had to work our asses off and we had to be good, because if we weren’t, there would be someone else to take our place. Sure, Peter was along for the ride, but I also knew we weren’t the only egg in his basket. I think he was with us because of our age. Death Crunch was another of his babies, and he wasn’t chaperoning them—although I knew he kept in touch with them and he also kept his fingers in whatever else he had going. The man was constantly on his phone or his tablet, conducting business. That was good, because it kept him from shadowing us all the time. He probably would have been unbearable if not.

  Once we were out in the cool humid air (not cold like Colorado would have been in February but still jacket weather), we started walking down the street. It was a charming section of the city (and damned if I could even remember where the fuck we were) and I felt pretty good emotionally, in spite of all the shit I was going to have to deal with.

  And, now that it was at the front of my mind again, I needed to get my rational bandmates’ opinions. “Girls, I fucked up last night and would love your advice.”

  Kelly, walking next to Liz, who was in the middle, looked over at me. “What happened?”

  I took in a deep breath. Holy shit—what the fuck would they think of me when I confessed? I wasn’t going to tell them the why—only the what. “I, uh…I fucked Bad Dog last night.”

  Liz’s eyes got big. “No way.” She paused. “Wait. Fucked as in slept with or fucked as in fucked over?”

  I scrunched my nose. “I slept with him.”

  Kelly said, “Oh…yeah, I knew he really was a dog.”

  “No, it wasn’t him. It was me. I started it.”

  “What?”

  Liz again: “No way!”

  “Yeah.”

  Then Kelly’s voice grew conspiratorial. “Was he any good?”

  I couldn’t help the grin spreading across my face. “Holy shit. He was fucking amazing.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  There was the sticking point. I sucked in a deep breath of air. “I don’t want a relationship—and I think I got his hopes up.”

  Liz was giving me her full attention, but she managed to say, “Here. Let’s eat here.” I looked at the sandwich board in front of us. The black chalkboard had pink and white writing, letting us know the specials of the day, but I agreed with Liz, even without the ads. I could smell coffee and sausage and even warmth, and I wasn’t turning those down, so we took a left and walked into the restaurant.

  Ah—those smells intensified when we stepped inside. A waitress at the counter said, “Grab a seat, ladies, and I’ll be with you in a sec.”

  We located a booth by the window—the only seats left with a view of the street—and we sat down. Kelly sat next to me and asked, “So what the hell inspired it to begin with?”

  Oh, I hadn’t expected that question. Last fall, when we’d first set out on the road, I wouldn’t have said a word to either of these girls about anything personal. Vicki was the one I’d felt most comfortable with, the girl I thought I could trust the most. Today, though, I wouldn’t have trusted her with a food order. Liz and Kelly truly were the people I felt were my allies, and so I trusted them. But I was going to sound childish when I told them.

  Who was I kidding? It had been childish. Might as well ‘fess up. “Vicki…showed me a picture of CJ with another girl.”

  “CJ Slavin?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You guys have a thing?”

  Okay, how did Kelly not know about what was going on between me and CJ? I could tell from Liz’s reaction that she knew, but Kelly was clueless. After the waitress brought us coffee and took our orders, I filled her in and then said, “So it was stupid and rash—but I don’t think I regret it. We’re young, right? We should be out here having the time of our lives, not saving ourselves for guys who may or may not be there when we get home.”

  Liz said, “I’m not arguing with you that we shouldn’t be seizing the day, my friend, but you did know that whole thing was just a publicity photo shoot, right?”

  It felt like time froze. Had I heard her right—and did it mean what I thought it meant? “What?”

  “Yeah. CJ wrote a song for Cinnamon Stick and so, to promote it, they posed for some publicity shots for some magazine—I can’t remember which one now.” She pulled out her phone and started typing.

  “So…he’s not dating her?”

  Liz shrugged. “I suppose he might be, but that’s not why they were in a picture together.”

  Oh, shit. Oh, God. What had I done?

  Chapter Twenty-two

  WE WALKED BACK to the hotel, our bellies full, my mind even fuller. The girls had no advice for me, now that I’d called CJ out for something that might not even be an issue. They also didn’t have any ideas for me as to how to handle the awkward situation with Bad Dog but encouraged me to be honest without hurting his feelings.

  But we had another issue. Vicki was in bad shape. The girls thought that maybe, since we wouldn’t be performing that evening, we should—the five of us—have a slumber party or something, and we should all voice our concerns to our friend, just lay everything out on the table.

  I thought that was a great idea, but I told them I didn’t think Barbie would be on board. It would interfere with the time she wanted to spend with her fans online. “Don’t worry,” Liz assured me. “I’ll take care of Barbie.”

  Yeah, Liz was probably the only one of us Barbie would really listen to, and I wasn’t sure why that was, but I’d take it.

  We got up to our floor and damned if TT and Bad Dog weren’t standing in the hall. So much for figuring out what I was going to say. I was put on the spot. Liz and Kelly said they’d see me later and walked into their room two doors down from mine, and TT walked toward the now-open elevator door, suitcase in hand. Shit. Thanks, everyone. They all apparently knew that Dog and I had to talk—but I wasn’t ready!

  He seemed as nervous as I was, so I said the requisite Hey, but it didn’t break the ice. Not by a long shot. He said it back to me and then we were back at square one. I figured I might as well start it off. “So…last night… I’m really sorry I put you in that position.”

  “Position? Like I’m complaining?”

  I grinned then and looked down at the carpet for a second. His green eyes seemed to peer into my soul then. Oh, I did not want to break his heart. “I, uh…I know, but…I had been drinking and just kind of crossed a few lines.”

  “Not a problem, babe.”

  Shit. �
��But it kind of is, Dog. We have to work together—we’re kind of coworkers, you know, and we—I—crossed a line. It could make things really difficult with everyone else, you know?” He was considering me, and I think he suspected that I just wasn’t interested in anything even resembling a relationship. I didn’t think he knew why, although he probably thought I wanted to have fun on the road, and, I suppose, that wasn’t entirely untrue, but I didn’t think he knew anything about CJ. I remembered a little flash of what I’d been thinking last night and verbalized it now. “You know what they say, man—‘don’t shit where you eat.’ There’s a reason for that saying.”

  “What the hell does that even mean?”

  I didn’t know if he was just grabbing onto words to fill the potentially awkward silence or if he really didn’t understand the meaning behind the phrase, so I added, “There’s a reason why workplaces don’t let coworkers date. It causes a lot of problems.” In retrospect, I figured that was probably what had gotten my dad into trouble at work, but I’d never know for sure because I wasn’t going to ask. “Me and you? We could probably handle any shit just fine, but how do you think my bandmates would feel if they found out?” No way was I gonna let on that I’d already told two of them, and—if I had any say in the matter—the other two would never know.

  I saw the lightbulb switch on. He nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. There’d be all kinds o’ jealousy. I can see that now. It’s not like with me ‘n TT. Anytime we can score, we’re rootin’ for the other guy.” Oh, God, please don’t let him delve into stories or even hints about roadie-groupie sex. My stomach couldn’t take it this morning. “But you got some catty women on your team. No offense.”

  “None taken—but I’m sure you can understand why we need to keep last night under wraps.”

  He nodded. I felt relieved that he was taking it even better than I’d expected. Then he winked and formed his hand into the shape of a gun and “cocked” it. “It’ll be our little secret, tiger.” I considered lecturing him about not calling me affectionate names or that would give us away anyway and then decided not to. I’d address it later if it continued to be a problem.

  “Thanks for understanding, Dog.”

  “But you ever need me, I’m here for you. Okay?”

  If I ever needed a friend with benefits, Dog would definitely be a great candidate. “Thanks.” I was not, however, going to return the favor, because I didn’t need to give him any excuses to pursue me. I could have been wrong about him, but I didn’t want to make things harder or worse. I smiled again and then said, as the situation was feeling stiff and strange once more, “Guess I better finish packing.”

  “Yep. TT and I are heading out right after lunch.”

  Yeah…I guessed it was lunchtime now. Man, does time fly on the road.

  * * *

  We’d been in the van rolling down the highway for about an hour when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized I’d been tense and my stomach had been churning acid. I’d considered texting CJ again to tell him it had been a misunderstanding, but just because the pictures were for publicity didn’t mean he and that skanky pop star weren’t dating; it only meant that it was possible that they weren’t…and I needed CJ to tell me for sure. So, until he assured me there was nothing between him and that girl, I wasn’t going to retract my vitriolic words.

  His text didn’t make me feel any better. Maybe we need to talk. When are you free?

  Fuck. Those were not the words I’d hoped to see on my phone screen. I would have settled for him assuring me everything was okay or even having a huge laugh at my expense. This, though…my stomach started rolling again.

  I looked up from my phone. “How long till we get there?”

  Peter turned slightly but didn’t twist all the way around. When I thought about it, I marveled that he was still letting Andrew drive the van. Then again, it was the only halfway useful thing the guy did anymore. “Why are we in such a hurry, Ms. Summers? Do you have a hot date planned?”

  Oh, he had no idea—it might be hot, but not in the sexy way. Nope, I suspected my anger was going to flare. “Very funny.”

  “Just a couple more hours—unless you and your girlfriends need a pee stop every ten minutes or so like last week.”

  Oh, no. Last week hadn’t been for pee breaks—it had been for puke breaks. Both Vicki and Barbie had overindulged and were sick and we all had to pay the price by stopping every half hour or so, prolonging the trip so much that we got there an hour later than planned.

  But these three hours—from the point I’d asked till the time we were settled in our rooms—were likely the longest of my life. I’d texted CJ back and told him I would call him when we were settled in—and I told him it’d be a few hours. But he hadn’t responded, so I didn’t know if he got it or was all right with it until almost the time for me to call, and all he texted was a simple Okay.

  I was rooming with Kelly and Vicki this go round, and we told Vicki, before she scooted off to be with Andrew, that we were going to have a Vagabonds slumber party that night. Maybe rent a movie or two, pop some popcorn, and chill in our PJs, but we wanted bonding time. She was okay with that.

  But, for talking on the phone with CJ, having my roomies nearby was not good. I considered going in the bathroom or on our little balcony, but neither would afford me the privacy I craved. I told them I’d be back and headed outside.

  The hotel itself was nothing to write home about, but at least it had a little pool outdoors, and I headed over there across the tiny parking lot and sat in one of the chaise lounges. I pulled up CJ’s number on my phone and took a deep, calming breath before connecting the call. “Hey, Kyle.”

  “Hey.”

  “Can I call you back in about five minutes?” I could barely hear him over the background noise, but I understood enough.

  “Yeah, okay.”

  So I hung up and waited—and those seven minutes felt even longer than the hours I’d waited earlier…but he did call back. After exchanging hellos again, he apologized first, saying he and the gang had been getting ready to order dinner. Then he said, “Okay, Kyle. I don’t want you to take this wrong, but we apparently need to discuss some things.”

  “Yeah, I guess we do.” Did we?

  There was barely hesitation as he plowed forward. “If you need to know, Pepper and I are not dating, but”—okay, yeah, I figured that, but I still kept my trap shut—“what if we were? Would that matter?”

  So maybe I shouldn’t have taken it so hard. He’d said he’d wait to have sex with me…but he hadn’t said he’d wait for me. Maybe that was my own naïveté at play. Duped again, and merely because I didn’t have enough experience to help me really think about a lot of things. What a fucking dumb ass. But I wasn’t going to play the little lamb nor the scorned woman. “Probably not. It just would have been nice to know.”

  I guess I appreciated that he wasn’t handling me with kid gloves and that he was being straight up with me, but it was hard to swallow. I think he sensed that, because his tone was more relaxed when he resumed. “Look, Kyle…I’m barely twenty-one and I swear to Christ, I have never had this much—all these girls throwing themselves at me like this before. Yeah, sure, I got laid, but shit. Not like this. I’m not even kidding when I say I could fuck ten girls a night if I wanted—just for starters. That’s not speaking to my appetite but to the availability—and I’m just the bassist. God knows what it would be like if I was one of the other guys.”

  His voice grew softer. “That’s not meant to be any kind of statement about you. I think you know the way I feel about you, Kyle.”

  I couldn’t resist the opening. “Actually, I don’t.”

  He chuckled then. “I really like you. A lot. And I meant every little thing I said to you…but that doesn’t mean I’m going to act like a monk when I’m out here.” He paused. At least he was trying to be considerate. “Sorry if you don’t want to hear that.”

  It was hard to
swallow but it was also good to know—and the blow was definitely cushioned by what he’d said about liking me…because the feeling was mutual. But, like him, I decided at that moment that I had a huge playing field too. He might have been a young man with lots of opportunities, but I too had already turned down more offers than I figured most people received in their lifetime in just the short time we’d been on the road. Maybe I needed to enjoy the hell out of it like he was. “No, that’s cool. I appreciate the honesty, CJ. And I don’t plan to act like a nun either.”

  The line was quiet for a little bit and I started to wonder if maybe we’d lost our connection. But then he said, “I suppose that’s only fair.”

  “Damn straight it is.” When I hung up the phone a few minutes later after talking shop, I let that idea roll over me. Maybe it was a dumb idea to think of myself as wanting or needing to have a monogamous relationship. I wasn’t in a business conducive to that—and my heart couldn’t handle the idea of being cheated on—but if I and that guy I desperately wanted to myself had an agreement, then it was time for me to really live the life of a rock star. And that life was going to start right now.

  “Seduce & Destroy” ~ Otep

  Chapter Twenty-three

  AFTER DINNER, ANDREW tried to cart Vicki away from us, but Barbie shoved herself between them and laced her arm with Vicki’s. “We’re having a girls’ night tonight.”

  “But—”

  “No buts, Andrew. You can have her back tomorrow. I promise…but tonight, it’s girls only. We haven’t spent much time together lately.”

  He seemed forlorn but acquiesced, and Vicki seemed thrilled that we wanted her with us. When we got to the room, we talked about having some beer which I see, in retrospect, how stupid that was. But we pulled some out of the mini fridge and then we all got in our own versions of PJs—for me, that was a tank top and sweat pants, both in gray.