On the Road: (Vagabonds Book 2) (New Adult Rock Star Romance)

by Jamison, Jade C.

  That said, there were a few incidents that spring and summer that didn’t escape my memory, in spite of the haze I was in. It was strange how I just kind of jumped over the edge. I think it was over my guilt about Vicki, and what better way to numb guilt than to drown it? Drugs weren’t the problem necessarily. It was that I got drunk every single damn day after my conversation with Peter. I couldn’t tell you where we were half the time or how many shows we’d played. I couldn’t even tell you how many guys I’d fucked. But one rule I had with myself—if I liked a drug too much, if it seemed to tug on me like H did…then I had to part ways with it and never touch it again. I couldn’t trust myself, and I didn’t want to be hooked like I saw Vicki. Of course, I was addicted to the rush of sex and drugs after every show—but I wasn’t hooked to one particular drug. As I said, alcohol was my number one drug of choice.

  I couldn’t tell you why I took the plunge. It might have been that it was free and easy…and mostly fun. It could have been that I had a tendency to be a wild child, especially when I wasn’t on a leash anymore, and so I just embraced it. It also might have been that I felt like it was an expectation. I was a rock star now, dammit, so I had to live the lifestyle.

  But it was probably other things entirely—like the fact that my heart had been broken by CJ, and I wasn’t going to admit it, whether in the presence of friends or to myself in my mind. I felt like I was a bad ass rock guitarist, so there was no room for sadness or regret. Never mind that if I had enough to drink and stayed up till after the party was over that I’d wind up crying myself to sleep anyway. I know too that I did it to cope with my fears and guilt over Vicki, and maybe I had some weird ideas that if I didn’t die from the shit I was doing, she wouldn’t either. Dumb, I know. But I think it was also a way to cope with the band itself, because things got rockier as we went. Peter became a raging asshole—yes, more than he’d been before, and his villainous nature continued to reveal itself. Andrew was no more a buffer from him or protector for us than a flyswatter against an angry mama bear. But it wasn’t just Peter. It was learning how to deal with paparazzi. Most of them were okay but there were some real winners out there—leeches who only wanted to earn some cash, and the more compromised or vulnerable they found you, the more desperate they were for the pictures or the story. I was also having a hard time dealing with the fame, something I never would have predicted. We weren’t just popular with the music crowd—somehow, we’d crossed over into pop culture—probably because we were being looked at as “teen phenoms.” God, I grew to hate that fucking phrase.

  The worst part, though? The women I was bonding with, the ones I should have been able to cling to had become unbearable. None of us could stand being around each other anymore. So I drank. I drank to drown out the shk-shk of Barbie’s emery board. I drank so I could look away from Vicki’s sunken eyes and gaunt frame. I drank to block out the constant bickering—and it was all of us, and it felt constant. We were all on edge and pissed off with each other. It would have helped if we could have had separate rooms, but Peter said that would cut into our profits. I’ll give Liz credit—she could have continued paying for her own room as she had on occasion when she’d been exploring her sexual appetites, but she did try to maintain a sense of solidarity, so she stopped.

  One for all.

  But all for one? Not so much. We were dividing, and while our differences should have strengthened us, I think they contributed to the feelings of animosity and resentment and all the misunderstandings we had during the second leg of the tour.

  I hated being around them…so I fucking drank.

  But drinking also set me up for trouble, more than I could have foreseen then. There was one show, in Mississippi or Alabama, I think, but don’t quote me, because those were what I now call the hazy days. But this show had been like any other—fun, rocking, and we’d had the fans eating out of the palm of our hand. Anyway, we had a shitload of them backstage that night. Usually, they flocked to Barbie first, and who could blame them? She was the face of our band, and she knew how to work the crowd. I had no doubt there were hundreds of boners every night in the crowd, thanks to her. They’d come to Liz or me second, and it varied. But this night I had a flock of my own hovering around, and it took me a bit to realize that five of them were friends there together.

  And, holy shit, were they hot. They looked to be college aged…and their physique reminded me of Decker. Just that resemblance made me suddenly homesick and nostalgic—so I began pounding the vodka like it was water. And I made the mistake of telling those guys where we were staying and asking them to come party with me later. It was Vicki and me sharing a room that night—or so I’d thought at the time, and I knew she’d be with Andrew, meaning I had the room to myself. A little Kyle-only party sounded like the remedy for all that was ailing me.

  See, that just shows how stupid I was. I should have called my mom and dad and talked. Hell, even CJ. He had, no doubt, experienced a lot of the emotions on the road that I had and, whether or not we had a sexual truce, we were friends if nothing else. And, as much as I tried to push it aside, I knew he cared about me.

  But nope. I preferred the booze to people therapy.

  Anyway, this incident should have made me wary—that was how bad it was. But I think I was too young and too stupid (and, frankly, too lucky) for it to make much of an impression on me. By the time we got to the hotel, I was completely trashed. I had already blacked out part of the events that evening, but at least I had one thing in my favor. Anymore, I performed sober. I might have a drink or two before going onstage, as either a warmup or something to help me relax, but I was coherent. It was after the show that I’d get wasted.

  So we got to the hotel and those guys were in the lobby. They looked even bigger and hotter now that I was swimming in my alcohol stupor. The girls, Andrew, and Peter were all gone by the time I’d chatted with my boys. Shit—I couldn’t even remember their names and, in my mind today, they all looked the same: All-American, dishwater blonde hair, blue eyes, chiseled cheekbones, long eyelashes, all built like the offense line of a football team. Very Decker-like. That was why I was attracted to them, I think.

  I invited them up to my room. I remember giggling my ass off in the elevator, and one of them pulled me close and kissed me. Wow. Okay, I could go for that.

  I was feeling loose enough that even an orgy wouldn’t have made me say no because, after all, I’d be the center of attention, right?

  Those were my thoughts as we stepped off the elevator, and the other elevator right next to it opened at the same time. I didn’t realize it at the time, but Bad Dog and TT were exiting that one, so they followed little ol’ me, surrounded by these meaty football players.

  I felt like I was in heaven.

  When we got to the room, I pulled out my keycard. I shoved it into the slot, and I remember giggling my ass off. The little LED light stayed red, though. It wasn’t clicking the lock release and there was no green, and if I hadn’t been so damned blitzed, I might have either questioned it or gotten pissed. Instead, I giggled some more.

  It was less than a minute that Dog was standing beside me and he gently removed the card from my hand. He flipped it upside down and put it back in my hand. “Arrows gotta point down, darlin’.”

  I smiled and hugged him. “Oh, thanks, Dog. I love you.” I kissed him on the cheek and turned to my entourage. Then I grabbed his chin and said, “This is my friend, Bad Dog. I think he’s my best friend.” Okay, yeah. So the liquor was talking and I was an obnoxious drunk sometimes.

  “You okay, Kyle? You just wanna go to bed? These guys’ll understand.”

  “No!” I shouted, way louder than I should have. “I want to party!”

  He nodded, taking the card from me and sliding it in the slot, turning the light to green and making the door unlock. “Okay—but call me if you need me, okay?”

  “Okay!” And in I went—where angels feared to tread. Most of that night is gone from my memory, because I bl
acked out a lot. I’d had way too much to drink. But the part I do remember is when one of the guys asked me to do a strip tease for all of them.

  I blinked my eyes. I was a little sleepy and relaxed, but I was considering it. “We need music, though.”

  It wasn’t long before one of the guys pulled music up on his phone. Another guy said, “You need to finish your drink, Kyle.”

  I shook my head and wagged my right index finger at him. “I think I’m drunk enough, don’t you?”

  “Aw,” he said, standing. “I don’t think you can ever have too much to drink.” He turned and looked at the guys, all sitting in various spots on the two double beds in the room. “Ain’t that right, fellas?”

  I’d already kicked off my shoes, but I had a brief moment of clarity. Those five guys suddenly looked like big, bad wolves…and they wanted to fucking eat me. I felt a ping of fear then, for the first time that evening, when—in reality—those alarm bells had probably been going off the whole time. Unfortunately, the bells had been under water (or under liquor, that is)—and I wouldn’t have been able to hear them to save my soul.

  “Um, guys. I think I just need to go to bed now. Sleep it off.”

  The one guy who was standing said, “Yeah, I think we all need to go to bed.” He grabbed the front of my t-shirt so hard that it dug into the back of my neck.

  “Ow! What the hell are you doing?”

  His voice was a growl. “You promised us a goddamned strip tease; you’re gonna do a goddamned strip tease and then I’m gonna come all over your fucking face. And you’re gonna like it.”

  Uh, no, I wasn’t. My shirt wasn’t doing what he wanted, so he placed both hands on the collar and pulled at it from both sides until it finally gave way. The thin inch-wide collar actually stayed intact, but the front—Harley logo and all—split in two, ripping to the bottom. The hem gave him a few problems too, but he managed to pull it apart, and there was my lacy black bra and navel, bared to these animals.

  These animals who were now standing, hovering over me.

  I swallowed. Oh, shit, I was in trouble. “What the fuck are you guys doing?”

  The ripper grabbed my jaw. “We’re going to love you.”

  Uh…this didn’t feel like love, and when the guy next to him started kissing my neck, I felt my skin try to recoil from his touch. I think I might have screamed, but I don’t remember. All I know is that it took all of them to throw me on the small table in the corner and then pull my jeans off. I had a lot of strength in my legs and I kicked and pulled and clenched—unfortunately, I was no match for five athletes. The next thing I remember is being held down—there was one guy for each limb—and the ripper was standing in between my legs. I was wearing the black panties that actually matched the bra, but he didn’t give a shit if they were a set. He pulled on them until they also tore, and I could feel the fabric dig into my skin as it finally gave way to his demands.

  I must have screamed again, but suddenly, I had a hero. Dog was standing in the doorway, slamming the door open. “Get your fucking hands off her, you monkeys.”

  All five guys looked up from me to him. “Yeah. Come stop us, scumbag.”

  “I gotta Smith and Wesson that’ll do that.” Between two of the guys, I saw part of Dog and damned if he didn’t have a steel-gray gun in his hand. Where the fuck had he gotten it? Well, it didn’t matter.

  “She was askin’ for it.”

  “Get the fuck out of my sight.” Dog moved closer to the beds so they’d have to pass by him without being able to reach for the gun. “You have ten seconds before I start shooting—and the cops are already on the way, so if you’re smart, you’ll get the hell out of here now.”

  The last guy to let go of my arm and follow his friends paused in front of Dog. “Motherfucker. If I—”

  “You really ready to meet your maker, asshole? I’d be happy to send you, and I don’t think any jury in the world would hold it against me. Do you? Wanna try?”

  Damn…Bad Dog was downright scary—and good thing, because those wannabe rapists were out of my room in a flash. The next thing I remembered, I was sitting up on that table hunched over, my face in the palms of my hands, and I was bawling my eyes out.

  Dog was by my side in no time, an arm around me. “Are you all right?” I couldn’t talk past the sobs. “Did I get here too damned late?”

  I looked up then and wrapped my arms around him. “No, your timing was perfect. How’d you know?”

  After he held me for a bit, he pulled back and looked in my eyes. “My room is right next to yours. I had your room card, and when I heard you scream, I came right over.”

  “Have you had that gun this whole time?”

  He grinned. “Yeah. No security on this tour. Gotta keep an eye on my girls.”

  I hugged him again. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “I was lying to them when I said I called the cops. Do you want me to?” I shook my head. I probably should have pressed charges, but I felt like I’d invited the trouble.

  A few minutes later, he had me in my bed, covers up to my chin. I had forgotten it at the time, but he’d even found my sweatpants and helped me get them on before tucking me in. He brushed the hair off my forehead. “‘Night, Kyle.”

  I grabbed his arm. “Please…don’t go.”

  His eyes searched mine before he nodded. “Okay.” I was asleep before all the lights were out and he’d curled up next to me, my protector. My savior.

  “Sex Metal Barbie” ~ In This Moment

  Chapter Twenty-six

  IT WAS DARK in the room and I was still floating on a vodka cloud. Dog’s arm was wrapped around me, holding me close, my back to his chest. It was at that moment that I felt such gratitude—not just for him but for all the good in the world. Yes, that too was an alcohol-induced feeling, but gratitude is good, no matter what paper it comes wrapped in.

  Feeling his breath on my neck induced more than a feeling of gratitude, though. I felt aroused, and that was strange, considering what had happened earlier in the evening. But I had an idea, a thought of a way I could express my gratitude and get a little sex action in as well.

  I rolled over so I was facing him. It was at that time that I noticed the sweatpants around my hips and the bra too snug around my ribcage. I unfastened the bra, pulling it off my frame and arms and dropping it to the floor, feeling even more gratitude that those brutes hadn’t destroyed it. I only had four bras on tour and hated doing laundry. Ah, there. That was better. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, so as I snuggled up close, his chest hairs tickled my breasts—and my already hard nipples were finding the sensation arousing.

  I kissed his neck where I could feel tiny whiskers poking out, but I kept up the little feather pecks until I heard him mutter something. When I paused, he spoke again, “What are you doing, Kyle?”

  “What’s it feel like I’m doing?”

  I could hear the smile in his voice. “You don’t have to do this, sweetheart. After all you went through tonight, I think you just need a good night’s sleep.”

  “I want to.” I sucked on his bottom lip. “And I get what I want.” I wrangled my hands under the covers and found the front of his jeans. He muttered something again but I stuck my tongue in his mouth to shut him up, and by the time his hands were in my hair, I had his cock out. In no time at all, I had him on his back and was kissing my way down.

  It wasn’t until I had him in my mouth that I realized his cock was biggest I’d had the pleasure of having in my mouth. Meanwhile, Dog was still trying to protest. “Kyle, you don’t gotta do this, honey.” One more suck and he shut up. His objections soon became affirmations as I kissed and nuzzled and drew on his rock hard cock. “Oh, God,” I heard him mutter, and between that and his sighs and moans, I knew I was on the right track. His hands were in my hair a short time later, pulling it up and off my face while I performed my magic.

  Just a few moments later, he was letting it all go. Even his fingers in my hair tensed and then relaxed
. I smiled, knowing I’d made him feel good. He’d never know just how grateful I was, but at least I could give him a token of my appreciation.

  That thought in mind, I kissed up his belly and chest before landing a final kiss on his neck. “Shit, girl. That was amazing.”

  “Good.” I kissed him once more on the cheek.

  “Let me catch my breath here and I’ll return the favor.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t have to.”

  “I think I remember someone else saying, ‘But I want to’.” He was quiet for a few seconds. “Or, uh…are you okay with that? If I went down on you? After tonight, I mean…”

  I could feel how rigid my body had grown with the promise of feeling fulfilled. I’d been aroused anyway, but the idea of him touching me again assured me that I was more than ready. “Yeah…I’m fine.”

  It was just a few seconds later that he was kissing my neck and then he whispered in my ear. “I wish I’d gotten here sooner. Those assholes probably left bruises all over this beautiful body of yours—but I’m going to try to kiss them all away. Okay?”

  I smiled and then giggled. If only he could kiss away all the evidence of pain in my life—but then I wouldn’t appreciate the good moments. Even at that age, I understood that. Another piece of wisdom imparted upon me by my parents.

  But Dog tried. He kissed my arms first, all along the upper and lower parts, every place where those jerks did touch. Soon, though, his lips and mouth were consuming my breasts, eliciting all manner of gasps and groans from me, so much that I was on the verge of begging for relief when he moved his attention to my abdomen on his journey below. I was sucking down air, my body in a state of frenzy, by the time he was between my legs, and then I could feel his hot tongue lap at my slit before focusing on my clit. He swirled it around until I moaned loudly, letting him know his target appreciated that attention very much. His hands massaged my thighs at the same time, and it was just moments before I was just short of writhing in ecstasy, yelling his name and gasping for air.