Road to Reason (The Road Series Book 4)

by Ann, Natalie

  ***

  After giving her the address, he hung up and sat back for a minute. He didn’t like that she knew what type of woman he dated. It had never bothered him before. But now he didn’t like the way it made him feel.

  Almost cheap. That she would know he never really dated anyone quite like her. Someone smart, someone classy, someone who wasn’t trying to sink her claws in him.

  He made those choices in his life for a reason. And he refused to have regrets now. It was something he had to do, a protection for lack of better word.

  She may not be like those other women, but she did have one thing in common with them: she wanted something from him.

  Only he was afraid once she got it, she would be done with him. Not the other way around, the way things usually ended for him…by him.

  No, he wasn’t ready for the possibility that Kaitlin would end things. For once he was tying those strings a bit tighter. He was unsure why and didn’t like the uncertainty he was feeling, but decided not to fight it just yet.

  So until he could convince her to give it more, he was going to be walking around in a sexual haze that he wouldn’t be able to do anything about.

  ***

  Mid morning Saturday, Ryan rang Kaitlin’s doorbell. She opened her door wearing a short tan skirt, a printed shirt in soft muted pastels that did nothing to hide her chest—even though there wasn’t any cleavage showing—and a pair of cream and brown print flats. The perfect outfit for an outdoor outing.

  “Come in. Just let me get my purse. How is it outside? Do I need a sweater?” she said, looking down at his dark washed jeans that he wore with a pair of casual black sneakers and a dark gray distressed shirt. He saw she liked what she was looking it, and made no attempt to hide his pleasure.

  “I think you’ll be fine. But it might not hurt to put it in the car just in case,” he offered.

  “OK.” She turned and walked back to her room, came out with a lavender cardigan, picked her purse up, and announced herself ready to go.

  “Not yet,” he said, leaning down and giving her a kiss. He had to lean down a bit further than he did after lunch the other day. She had been wearing one hell of a sexy business suit and killer four-inch heels. Though she was still easily eight inches shorter than him in them.

  She leaned into the kiss, running her hands up his chest. She was continuing to test his control. Minutes later, his heart racing, he laid his forehead on hers and laughed wryly. “So much for good intentions. Let’s go before I forget myself.”

  “I can’t believe you want to go to the Tulip Fest,” she stated ten minutes later when they were seated in the car and on their way toward Washington Park.

  “Why?” he asked, curious.

  “Well, because you’re a guy. And this is about flowers,” she pointed out, dryly.

  “So a guy can’t like flowers?” he asked. “Maybe I’ve got a soft side? Maybe I’m trying to soften you up?” he asked, sending her a devilish grin.

  “You don’t need to soften me up. I’m ready when you are.” She giggled when he failed to stop the groan this time.

  He paused, tried to gather his thoughts. She was dangerous, no doubt about it. And he loved every minute of it. “Well, either way, I like flowers. You’ve been to my parents’ house. You’ve seen their property. Lucas, my father and I have done our fair share of gardening. It’s relaxing, to be honest. And flowers are romantic. Aren’t I allowed to be romantic? It’s one of my specialties.”

  “Yes, I’ve seen your parents’ house. You’ve seen my parents’ house, too. Our mothers are both avid gardeners. I enjoy it, too. So if you are being honest with me, then we’ve got another thing in common.” She smiled brightly at the revelation.

  “I’ll always be honest with you,” he said, seriously.

  She looked at him, picked his hand up in hers and gave it a squeeze. “I believe you. Thanks for that. It’s not a quality I’ve seen in a lot of men over the last few years.”

  “We’ve already established you haven’t had the best taste in men in the past. Time you changed that, don’t you think?”

  “Oh, no worries there. I’m making a lot of changes.”

  He had no idea what she meant by that and was afraid to ask. He changed the subject—something he seemed to be doing a lot with her. “If you don’t mind walking a bit, I’m going to park at Albany Medical Center. It’s probably the closest we would get anyway and then I won’t have to fight much traffic when we leave either.”

  “That’s fine. You’re in control.”

  He didn’t like the double meanings she kept throwing out there. Wasn’t sure if they were even meant to be double meanings, but his mind kept thinking of other things at the moment.

  They were having a great time walking around and looking at the tulips in bloom, stopping at the vendors for food and drink. Just a nice normal date, enjoying each other’s company, holding hands and laughing. Until they ran into one of his exes.

  “Ryan.” They heard a squeal and turned their heads as a tall thin blonde wearing an extremely short jean skirt came running over to him. She reached up, pulled him into an enthusiastic embrace and placed a kiss on his lips. Not even caring that he was with another woman, whose hand he happened to be holding. “Oh, I’ve missed seeing you out lately. How have you been?” she asked.

  Uncomfortable, but seeing no way out of the introduction, Ryan turned to Kaitlin. “Kaitlin, this is Lynn, Lynn, my girlfriend, Kaitlin.”

  He wasn’t sure who was more surprised by his announcement referring to Kaitlin as his girlfriend, himself or the two women in front of him. Kaitlin looked shocked at first, but then smiled, Lynn just looked muddled.

  He could understand that; pretty much everything confused Lynn. And he had never called her his girlfriend before. Nor too many other women either, if he were to be honest.

  “Oh, nice to meet you.” Lynn looked at Kaitlin, her eyes traveling the length of her. “I didn’t see you there,” she said sweetly, but with a bit of bite.

  “Guess you should have your eyes checked then,” Kaitlin offered helpfully, even overly polite in his eyes.

  Ryan had all he could do not to laugh at the puzzled look that came over Lynn’s face. Thankfully though, he was able to steer her away quickly.

  Unfortunately that wasn’t the only one of Ryan’s exes they ran into. And Mandi wasn’t much kinder than Lynn. Matter of fact, she was downright rude.

  “Really, Ryan,” Mandi said, turning her nose up at Kaitlin during the introduction. “You couldn’t do better than that?”

  Before he could respond Kaitlin interrupted. “Oh, I would say he’s doing just fine. The problem is it was probably the best you ever did and you’re just sorry you weren’t enough for him. Don’t worry, dear.” Kaitlin patted her hand, a sincere smile never leaving her face. “There is always another one out there. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Someone will fall for you,” she offered helpfully.

  Mandi’s face turned red, while Ryan moved them away rather quickly. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” Kaitlin apologized. “I shouldn’t have let my temper get the best of me. It drives me insane how she could lay claim to you that way. Like she has a right to criticize who you date.”

  Ryan was amazed. He totally didn’t expect Kaitlin to come to his defense; he actually was ready to come to her defense. He was just sorry that Kaitlin got the brunt of Mandi and would most likely be dissed by any of his other exes they might run into. He always knew what to expect.

  “Don’t apologize,” he said sincerely. “She had it coming. Even more than what you said. She gave my sister-in-law, Brooke, a lot of grief when they first met. Not to mention Jack’s fiancée, Cori. We didn’t date long, but she thought more of what we had than I did. And everyone knew it, which only angered her more.”

  “Well, I’m still sorry. It’s not like me to act that way. I should have kept my opinion to myself. It makes me no better than her, saying what I did.”

  “That’
s not true,” he argued. “You are twenty times the woman she is. More than that. Don’t let her get to you. I’m just sorry that you were put in that position.” He placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, kissing her forehead.

  “I guess I should get used to it though if I’m your girlfriend,” she said with a laugh.

  He tried not to wince. “It might happen from time to time. Running into my exes,” he clarified. “They aren’t all that silly or bitchy though.” At least he hoped they weren’t.

  ***

  “I’m pretty tough. I can handle it. I’ll even try to control myself a bit more, too, when it happens again, because I’m pretty sure it will.” She tried to keep her comment light, teasing almost.

  She would have to remember that about Ryan. He had been around the block a few times. She wasn’t his type and she knew it. Today was proof, yet again. She just needed to keep that in mind at all times.

  Ryan was only helping her out. There were no strings attached.

  Yes, they were dating. And she guessed they could be considered boyfriend and girlfriend, for now, but he didn’t have a good track record and she wasn’t about to let herself fall for him.

  Because even though she was enjoying her time with him, it was only temporary. Short term. It would only lead to heartache in the end if she thought more of it than it was.

  It’s Time

  Kaitlin thought for sure after the Tulip Fest Ryan would take her back to her place and they would have sex.

  But nope. Just more endless kissing, with a little bit of petting thrown in. More than enough to leave her wanting.

  Only he never made a move to go any further. She knew he was turned on—it was evident. Kind of hard to miss when he was lying across her on the couch. Yet he always seemed to pull back and leave when she asked for more.

  He did that more times than she cared to admit. Left her wanting more.

  They had been dating for over three weeks now. She’d lost count of the number of times he took her out and brought her back home, kissed her senseless, let his hands wander, worked her up and walked out the door.

  She was frustrated. Not only was she frustrated because she was still a virgin, but now she had sexual frustration to add to the mix. Something she had never felt before.

  On the up side, they seemed to be getting along great. She was having the time of her life with him. He really was a romantic. Fancy restaurants, flowers, holding hands, quick kisses, candlelit dinners at home. Her home—she had yet to see his house.

  Maybe he was just being cautious since his family and hers both lived on the lake. There would have been a significant chance of someone seeing them together there.

  She just wished she knew what he was waiting for.

  ***

  Ryan knew exactly what he was doing, and what he was waiting for. Even if the waiting was killing him.

  He hadn’t gone this long without sex since he was in high school, and even then he wasn’t sure he ever went this long before.

  It had been three weeks of hell dating Kaitlin. Seeing her all dressed up looking sexy and hot, touching her, kissing her, having her ask him for more.

  But each time he walked away. It wasn’t only the last three weeks dating Kaitlin, but he hadn’t been with a woman in the two weeks prior. Not since before she asked him to be her first lover. Over five long weeks ago.

  He was trying to do this right. He had never intended to wait this long. Except two weeks ago, a few days after Tulip Fest, he had a moment of panic when Alec stopped in to see him in the office.

  They were just casually talking about the plans for the gazebo, when Ryan made the mistake of asking about Alec’s family. “How is everyone doing? Your parents, brothers, sister?” He had hoped Alec wouldn’t see through the question by throwing the whole family in there. He still didn’t know what possessed him to ask in the first place.

  “Everyone’s good. My parents keep throwing hints out about grandchildren to Phil. It’s actually kind of amusing to watch him skirt the issue.” Alec laughed. “My parents don’t see it, but I know my brother; I think Linda is going to be a thing of the past pretty soon. Ben and I are hoping, at least.”

  “They’ve been together what, five years?” Ryan asked incredulously. He couldn’t imagine dating someone that long.

  A few months had been his record, by then he started to slip away ever so slightly, so as to not leave broken hearts behind. He may have had a reason for his aversion to relationships, but he was always honest and upfront.

  He always told whoever he was dating it wasn’t serious, but the minute it started to turn that way, he ended things.

  “Something like that. Honestly, I’ve never felt Phil was really invested in her. I think she’s a convenience. Someone to go to on lonely nights. She pursued him pretty hard. He fell for it, but I don’t think he is anymore. Falling for her ways, that is.”

  Ryan knew the Lindas of the world. Had spent plenty of time with them himself. Which was how he became a master at ending things before they turned into more. “How about Ben? He seemed good last time I saw him,” he commented.

  Ryan knew the family was worried about Ben since he got out of the Navy. It had been Ben’s life, his world, and they were worried he wasn’t handling the death of his best friend well. Ryan could understand that; he couldn’t imagine losing anyone that close to him.

  “He says he’s fine. But you know Ben. Always says he’s fine. Katie is keeping him on his toes though,” Alec said, smirking.

  “What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

  “Ben is positive she has a boyfriend, but she is being tightlipped about it. Driving him insane. He says he’ll get it out of her. The two of them were always close. Probably as close as Phil and I, to be honest.”

  All it had taken were those few words, however innocent, out of Alec’s mouth two weeks ago. So Ryan decided he wasn’t going any further with Kaitlin until her family knew of their relationship. She hadn’t made any comments about wanting to tell her family, so he didn’t bring it up, either.

  But until everyone knew, and accepted it, they would be continuing as is. Celibate.

  ***

  “Got a minute?” Thomas asked Ryan early Tuesday morning.

  “Of course,” Ryan answered. “I could use a break.”

  “How’s it going? Working on the Fremont case?”

  His father knew he was burning the candle at both ends trying to find any dirt he could on the murder victim, Jason Briggs. “It’s going. I’ve been able to track down a few of his ex-girlfriends, but so far I haven’t been able to get anyone to meet or talk to me yet. But I’m not giving up.”

  Ryan was determined to show the judge and jury what a dirt bag Jason really was. Anyone who preyed on women and children deserved his own special place in hell.

  “I’ll let you get back to it. I just came in to remind you about the party this weekend.” His father cleared his throat and looked a bit uncomfortable for a moment. “Your mother would like to know if you are bringing a guest. You know she hates to have someone sprung on her last minute.”

  Michele Mathews loved her boys, and she wanted them happy, but she hated when Ryan showed up unannounced with a woman on his arm. Mainly because those women tended to annoy his mother in their attempts to trap her son.

  He had been so busy, between work and trying to carve out time to spend with Kaitlin, he completely forgot the Memorial Day weekend was coming up, along with his parents’ annual party. “Actually, yes I am.”

  He had been trying to find a way to get Kaitlin to come out in the open with their relationship and it seemed he found it. It was time in his mind. More than time. He was starting to feel guilty about hiding it from his family. He didn’t like keeping secrets, not really, and this shouldn’t have been a secret to begin with.

  “What’s her name, so I can at least let your mother know that much.”

  Here goes. “Kaitlin Harper.” He waited for his father to
react. And wasn’t disappointed.

  “Kaitlin Harper? As in Katie? William and Isabel’s daughter?” he asked wide-eyed.

  “Yes.”

  Thomas sighed, turned his back and walked a few steps to close the door. “How long has this been going on?”

  “Almost a month.” Ryan had a moment of panic that his father was so angry he was going to walk out the door without talking to him. He shouldn’t have thought that, but everything concerning Kaitlin had been putting him on edge.

  “And who knows? Does her family know?”

  Ryan saw the hurt in his father’s eyes. “No. You’re the first. As soon as you leave I’ll call her and let her know the cat is out of the bag. Trust me, the news will spread fast.”

  “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Thomas warned.

  There was a family friendship on the line if things didn’t work out, or worse yet, got ugly. The Harper boys were very protective of their baby sister and everyone knew that, especially Ryan. “I do. I hope I have your support.”

  “You’ve always had my support,” Thomas confirmed.

  “But not always your approval,” Ryan said, hedging. His father had always been honest with his children before, and Ryan was counting on that now.

  “No, not always. Not when it came to your choice in women. But you’re an adult, and it’s your life.”

  “Exactly,” Ryan agreed. “But what about now? Do I have your approval?” Ryan held his breath. He didn’t realize how much he needed to hear his father say yes. How much needed the man he looked up to his entire life to stand behind him right now.

  “Of course you do. But please be careful with her. She isn’t like anyone you’ve ever been with before.”

  “I know,” he said softly.

  ***

  “It’s time, Kaitlin. I’m sorry it happened this way, but maybe it was the push we needed,” Ryan explained into the phone. “I asked my father to not say a word to anyone, that we wanted to handle it our way with no interference from our parents. He agreed as long as I went to dinner tonight and personally told my mom.”