Redeeming Heart

by Pat Simmons

  When their server returned with the bill, Landon swiped it. “I got this,” he said again, referring to the tab, but wishing it also applied to his life.

  He trailed Octavia outside and watched as she got into her car, shooting him daggers that didn’t need his assistance. Briefly, Landon wondered if she was going to give him a ride back. He jumped in before she gave it much thought.

  The ride was surreal until Octavia pulled to the curb in front of Mac’s Place. She didn’t even look at him when she said goodbye with finality in her voice.

  Landon chanced another look at her, but she refused to meet his eyes. He unstrapped his belt and stepped out. His heart twisted at the thought that he might never see her again. “Goodbye, Octavia. Thank you for leading me back to Christ.”

  Chapter 17

  Octavia had barely closed her front door when the gush of tears started covering her face. Placing her keys and the food container on the counter, she dragged her body into her living room and flopped in a chair. So many emotions flooded her mind. Little by little, she had begun to like Landon, not as a charity case, but as a man she admired, rising above his circumstances. She barked, “What a joke.” His confidence had been nothing more than pride. And to think she preferred his company over James. That was another joke on her.

  She shivered as the thought of becoming one of Landon’s victims, despite his denial, made her cover her face and sob in earnest. Was she playing into his hands without knowing it? Her cell vibrated in her purse, but she ignored it. There was no way she could hold an intelligent conversation the way her head was pounding.

  Octavia exhaled when it transferred to voice mail, but it rang again. Getting up, she rifled through her purse and eyed the ID—Rossi.

  Yes, she needed his prayers. Taking a deep breath, she sucked in her tears and answered as her voice cracked.

  “Sis, are you all right?” Rossi paused, as if giving her time to respond, but Octavia was numb. She tried to nod yes, but her head shook no. No words were forthcoming, so Rossi continued. “Landon called me,” he said tenderly. “After I prayed for him, he thought you might need prayer as well.”

  “Did he tell you…” she hiccupped.

  “Yes, everything.” Rossi’s voice was soothing.

  “I was beginning to really connect with him. What am I supposed to do with that information?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  She said the first thing that came to her mind. “Kill him. Seriously.”

  “I thought you would, but think this through, Sister Octavia. Landon repented, and God forgave him. Now he needs to forgive himself and resume his rightful place in God’s kingdom.”

  Octavia heard Rossi, knew of Landon’s salvation report, but it still didn’t mend the ache in her heart. “I was foolish to be attracted to him,” she said, making the moment about her. She couldn’t help herself from acting this way.

  “God has redeemed him,” Rossi repeated.

  “I wish I didn’t know what God had redeemed him from.” She shook her head in disgust. “A womanizer. I’m trying to wrap my head around that person. I can’t understand people that intentionally abuse others, whether physically or emotionally.”

  “Yes, the sins Landon committed were horrific from our viewpoint, but the Lord loves him, and Landon knows he has to make restitution and I’m not talking about monetary to his victims. He has to rebuild trust. I plan to be there for him. He’s going to need a friend.”

  Yeah, that’s easy for you. You’re not a woman. Rossi must have been privy to her thoughts, because he pressed on.

  “I’m sure as a woman, it’s heart-wrenching, but unless Landon has made any offending remarks or gestures toward you, consider the wounded soldier who has been abused by our common enemy—Satan—on the battlefield and left for dead…”

  Only after Rossi began to pray, did the chaos in Octavia’s heart begin to settle. “Amen,” she whispered softly. “Thank you.” Feeling better, her appetite returned. Getting up, Octavia walked back into the kitchen and uncovered her salad.

  “You’re welcome, friend. Remember, this is just as much of our trial as his. He needs us to pray him through this. I believe God has withdrawn his hand of affliction upon Landon’s life in spite of the terrible things he did as He had Cain, putting a mark on the first murderer’s forehead that served as a warning sign not to harm him.”

  Octavia remembered reading that passage in Genesis 4 and she marveled at God’s mercy in verse 15.

  “So now it is on us to do our part as required in Second Corinthians two, verses six and seven. Landon’s punishment is sufficient. So now, whether he offended us or not, we must forgive him and comfort him unless he becomes overcome with so much sorrow that he’ll never truly believe he is redeemed.”

  Guilt was beginning to prick at her heart. “When I dropped him off, he thanked me for bringing him back to Christ.”

  “Believe his intention,” Rossi advised, and moments later, he ended the call.

  As she rested her elbow on her counter, she picked at the remains of her salad, considering everything Rossi had said. Basically, as a practicing Christian, the ball was in her court. Groaning, Octavia got to her feet and tossed what was left of her meal into the trash bin. She was drained. Yes, she could forgive Landon of his past because he didn’t hurt her directly, but what about the mother of his children, his cousin and God knows who else who was in the path of his destructive nature?

  “Enough.” Octavia rubbed her temples. She had to regroup so she could email the Colemans’ offer to the listing agent. Once that task was done, she took a long shower, then prepared for bed with a heavy heart. On her knees, Octavia prayed God would allow the Colemans’ offer to be accepted by the sellers, then she prayed for Landon’s restoration and her heart. Once she began to call out the different crises in the world, her issues seemed frivolous. She whispered, “Amen,” and climbed under the covers.

  Although Octavia willed her body to sleep, her mind wandered. She had made it no secret to God and others that she wanted a Christian man for a mate. She had waited patiently, believing and trusting God that the perfect man for her would walk into her life.

  Maybe, she should have been more proactive and put the “church sister formula” into action: sisters would bring their dates to church, willing beaus would repent, be baptized and God would fill them with the Holy Ghost. Soon after that, wedding vows would be exchanged. While many had a happily ever after, some split as if they were recovering from a morning-after hangover. “Nope,” she dismissed that formula. That was too much work. She rolled over and shut down her mind.

  Unfortunately, the next morning, Octavia woke with an active mind with visions of Landon in the jungle hunting for female prey. She hadn’t realized she had cried in her sleep until she glanced in the mirror and puffy eyes peered back at her.

  It took some time, a lot of determination, makeup and prayer for Octavia to get dressed for work. The weather was sunny and mild—perfect, except it did nothing for her mood as she was the last person to arrive at the office for their Monday meeting. If her makeup didn’t hide her heartache, then she probably resembled a crack addict searching for more drugs.

  “Whoa.” Terri’s eyes bucked as she jumped from her chair. “What happened to you?” Not waiting for an answer, she shoved Octavia out the small conference room before other agents could catch a glimpse of her.

  Terri squinted, then twisted her lips. “I’ve never seen you this disheveled, even lounging at home.” She folded. “Give me the Cliffs Notes of what happened after I saw you on Saturday.”

  Octavia shrugged. She loved mother-hen Terri, but she couldn’t share this, not when it was about Christians misbehaving. “I’ll figure it out,” she paused. “I signed a contract yesterday.” She displayed a winning smile and hoped it reached her eyes.

  “That’s not going to work with me. Once this meeting is over, we’re going out for an early lunch and talk.”

  In the confere
nce room, Octavia garnered stares. The bright spot in the meeting was she was the only one with a signed contract. Once the briefing was over, Terri made good on her threat and steered Octavia out the office toward the car. Terri drove the short distance to Einstein Bros. Bagels. Terri ordered for them, then claimed a spot.

  Leaning on the table, Terri folded her arms. “Okay, spill it. What are you trying to figure out?”

  Octavia picked at her napkin. She should have called her younger sister for advice. At least Olivia had good experiences with dating.

  “Tavie, you’re scaring me.” She reached and rested her hand on Octavia’s arm. “You don’t have to go into details, but tell me something, and I’ll pray for you.”

  Octavia blinked. Her friend didn’t say that often, so Terri must be really concerned. Suddenly, she wanted to cry again. “Landon recommitted his life to Christ this weekend.”

  Terri gave her a strange look. “Ah. Isn’t that a good thing?” She tilted her head; confusion was stamped on her face. “What does that have to do with you?”

  “I learned something about his past that I’m trying to come to grips with.”

  “Honestly,” Terri threw her hands up in the air as a server placed their orders in front of them. “I don’t understand your fascination with the guy. Granted, he’s hot, but he has nothing to offer you…unlike Jam—”

  “Don’t go there,” Octavia stopped her. “Let’s bless our food.” She said grace for both of them, then picked up her ham-and-cheese bagel. The appetite she didn’t have earlier was now waiting to be fed. “I’m done with Landon Thomas.”

  Terri’s eyes widened with excitement. “Does that mean you’re going to let James step up to the plate?”

  Octavia couldn’t believe she was about to cave in, but at the moment, she felt defeated. “Maybe.”

  “Hallelujah,” Terri teased until Octavia scowled.

  They ate in silence until Octavia took the last sip of her grape juice. Her cell phone buzzed, alerting her to a new email. She scanned the subject line: Coleman offer rejected.

  “What is it?” Terri frowned.

  “The Coleman offer was rejected. I’m not surprised, but I was hoping God would intercede on their behalf.” She dropped her phone back into her purse.

  “I’m surprised you gave them false hope. It was against all odds in the first place.” Terri cleared her throat. “I’d better get back to the office.” She stood and gathered her trash. “Clear your head, then give James a call.”

  It wouldn’t be today. Octavia was still going through Landon withdrawals.

  Chapter 18

  “Are you going to be all right?” Rossi asked Landon as he peeped his head into the makeshift office.

  “Yeah,” he said it, but he wasn’t so sure. The bus had dropped Landon off at the office a few hours ago, yet he had accomplished very little on the Visitors Bureau project that Rossi had been able to secure for him. He rubbed his hair. After work, he would take a trip to Crowning Glory in Tolliver Town for another shave and haircut at a minimum fee and tip.

  “My life is so messed up.” Landon shook his head in disgust. “I’m starting to see the magnitude of my mistakes.”

  Stepping farther into the room, Rossi patted him on the shoulder. “Let’s take one day at a time. Despite everything in your past, God has your back; I have your back…”

  There was one more name he craved. “Octavia?”

  Rossi stuffed his hands in his pants pockets. “Women take mistreatment of any woman personal, so it was a hard pill for her to swallow.”

  “I know.” The thought of not having Octavia as his cheerleader was more devastating than losing anything else in his life. Landon felt an unexplainable spiritual connection with her that he had never felt with any woman. The intensity frightened and soothed him at the same time. His whole emotional entanglement with Octavia started day one as if God had injected him with an Octavia IV drug when Landon hadn’t been aware.

  He shifted in his chair. Now Landon understood reaping what he sowed. “Well, I guess I’d better tweak this campaign, so I can send it to the client.”

  “Yep. Remember, this is about you. God tracked you down for a purpose. Everything will work out. It may not be overnight, but it will in the end.” Rossi backed out, closing the door.

  Landon hoped so. “Get yourself together, man,” he chided himself. Chasing women got him into trouble. He didn’t see how chasing another one would get him out of it. He returned his attention to the graphics for the city’s winter promotion. If the Visitor’s Bureau liked his ideas on this small project, they could open the door for steady employment in the coming months, which in turn would mean him settling in St. Louis, or should he still proceed with plans to move to Texas?

  Later that evening back at Mac’s Place, Landon opted for the tranquility of the patio after dinner rather than in the community TV room. It was still hot, but with September on stand-by, it was enjoyable with low humidity. He finished reading some scriptures, but instead of comforting him, Landon had never felt so alone, more than when he was living in the streets.

  Generations of his family had served God, and church was weaved into their lives. Yet, there was no gospel music playing in the background, or his mother’s humming in the kitchen or his younger cousins reciting Bible verses. There was nothing around to remind him of his rich spiritual inheritance, which he had tossed away.

  Landon slipped the pre-paid phone out his pocket. His hand itched to use it, but with fifty minutes remaining, Landon had to ration each call until payday on Friday. He would actually get a check at the end of the week for three hundred dollars—a far cry from his two-thousand-dollar weekly income, but it was money in his pocket and he would pay tithes on it—the first time in a long time. Staring at the card, Landon craved to hear a familiar voice. He reasoned he could spare ten minutes, punching in his grandfather’s number

  Moses Miller’s booming cheerful voice greeted him after the first ring. “It’s good to hear from you. How’s everything?”

  Not as I would like it. “I’m reading my Bible and taking one day at a time. I’m still living in the shelter. I’m doing a little contract work while job searching.” He rambled on to get the most out of his call.

  “Why don’t you come home? Your grandmother and I will pay for your plane ticket,” he offered.

  Landon smiled. His grandfather was always generous. “No, grandpa. I can pay my own way, but it may be months down the road. Plus, I’m sure nobody is forming a welcome party to see me.” At the moment, Landon was sinking into a pity party, which was so unlike him. He glanced at the time. He had already used five minutes and had barely said anything.

  “Well, try to make it sooner or later. Brittani made a surprise appearance at church to show that she was engaged and made a special effort to introduce us to her fiancé. The Lord knows I’m praying for her, but the young man appears to be decent. I’m not sure if he’s a practicing Christian, but I hope he loves her and will take care of the boys. ”

  Right. Landon grimaced. The twins were his responsibility. Until he lost his job, he paid child support, even if he didn’t try to establish a father-son relationship with them. Landon rubbed his head in shame. For the sake of his children, maybe he should have played the games the mothers wanted to play about when he could visit, how long and where he could take them, but his tame couldn’t be tamed, not even by the mouths he fed.

  “When I pulled her aside after church and shared that you had turned your life around, she sneered and refused to believe any words coming out of your mouth,” his grandfather paused. “Forgiveness comes easy with the Lord, but expect it to be a struggle with man. But the blame isn’t all on you. She was just as much a part of the act while engaged to your cousin.

  “Since Garrett’s wife is an attorney, she advised we sue for grandparent visitation rights. You know, I don’t believe in taking saints to court to settle matters, but I don’t believe Brittani has fully repented. Rejection
causes bitterness, and I don’t want to lose contact with my great-grandsons or the others. After your other children surfaced, we tried to reach out. The only mother who is receptive is Reba, Alyssa’s mother. But this is only when we reach out to her. Now, Cherie’s mother is a piece of work. I can’t get past her profanity to reason with her, especially after you went missing.”

  With Kim, Cherie’s mother, it was more about the missed hefty child support payments he could no longer afford. When he lost his job, he cut back on that until eventually there was nothing. “What a lowlife.” He didn’t realize he had mumbled aloud.

  “Yes, we are without Christ in our lives, but Jesus died for the ungodly, so don’t let the devil throw that in your face. Smack him with Romans 5:6. You need to make amends with those mothers first before you attempt to reconcile with the family.” He paused. “Your parents and I reared you to be a man, so take care of those responsibilities. If you need anything, you call me, understand?”

  “Yes, sir.” Lance checked the time. He was already two minutes over. “Thanks for forgiving me.”

  “Always, grandson. You’re my blood and offspring. The promise of the Holy Ghost was made to me, my children and as many generations as the Lord has called, and God has called you as in Acts 2:39. Your mission should be to strive to be a man after God’s own heart. It takes faith.”

  Yeah. His measure of faith was so minuscule that nobody, including Landon, could see it. They said their goodbyes after his grandfather said a short, but heartfelt prayer, then his lifeline was gone.

  More now than ever, Landon appreciated his grandfather being his one-person pep squad. No doubt, other family members had a wait-and-see attitude about his sincerity. Landon couldn’t blame them. But the one person who Landon wanted to believe his change was genuine was Octavia.

  Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he gripped his Bible again. Before he flipped through it, Landon stared out into the yard. Trees shaded one side of the fenced-in property. Some men had planted a vegetable garden in the corner.