Unsold TV Pilots: The Greatest Shows You Never Saw

by Lee Goldberg

  A detective who lives in Detroit and operates a fleet of taxi cabs. The pilot is based on the 1941 movie, which starred Robert Taylor.

  160. Johnny Garage. CBS 4/13/83. 30 minutes. Grosso-Jacobson Productions and Columbia Pictures Television. Director: Bill Persky. Producers: Sonny Grosso and Larry Jacobson. Writer: Gary Gilbert. Music: Elliot Lawrence and Bill Persky.

  Ron Carey is Johnny "Garage" Antonizzio, the owner of a troubled gas station in Queens. Val Bisoglio is his partner Frankie, Carlin Glynn his landlord, and Timothy Van Patten his womanizing, not-too-bright mechanic.

  Cast: Ron Carey (as Johnny Antonizzio), Val Bisoglio (Frankie), Carlin Glynn (Harriet), Timothy Van Patten (Mike), Christina Avis. Krauss (Brenda), William Smitrovich (Steve Enright), Jack Hallett (Paul Enright), Robert Cenedella (Mr. Freeze-It), Tony DiBenedetto (Mailman), Bill Marcus (Battery Man), Carol Levy (Girl).

  161. Johnny Guitar. CBS 7 /31/59. 30 minutes. Director: Robert Leeds. Producer:. Robert Carney. Writer: Otis .Carney.

  Aired on Stripe Playhouse as "Ballad to Die By." Johnny Guitar is a carefree, singing cowboy roaming the West and helping people in trouble. In the pilot, he's hired to sing at a wedding and discovers the groom is a killer who is forcing the bride to marry him.

  Cast: William Joyce (as Johnny Guitar), Fay Spain (Anna Carrick), Reg Parton (Harry Shay), Paul Burns (Gyte).

  162. Johnny Hawk. MCA 1958.

  Track and field star Floyd Simmons would play this modern-day sheriff who uses both a car and a horse in his efforts to fight crime..

  163. Johnny Mayflower. CBS 1958.

  The adventures of an orphan .boy who comes to America as a stowaway on the Mayflower.

  164. Johnny Moccasin. NBC 1956. NBC Productions.

  Jody McCrea, son of Joel McCrea, stars as a white boy raised by Indians.

  165. Johnny Nighthawk (aka Forced Landing). CBS 9/1/59. 30 minutes. Screen Gems. Director: Oscar Rudolph. Producer: Harold Greene. Writers: Sam. Rolfe and Barney Slate, from a story by Lou Morheim.

  Aired as an episode of Geritol Adventure Showcase. Scott Brady is an adventurous, free-lance pilot who likes to take on risky jobs.

  Cast: Scott Brady (as Johnny Nighthawk). Richard Erdman (Matt Brent), Maggie Mahoney (Lorna Kendiss), Joe DeSantis (Mac Ustich).

  166. Johnny Risk. NBC 6/16/58. 30 minutes. Four Star. Director: Don McDougall. Producer: Vincent Fennelly. Writer: Fred Freiberger.

  Aired as an episode of Alcoa Theatre. Michael Landon starred as, he recalls, "a guy who owned a gambling ship in the Yukon in the late 1800s. I looked a solid fifteen or sixteen years old and wore a white lace shirt and tight, black pants. Alan Hale, Jr., was my sidekick and Lew Ayres was my brother. It was nothing but shots being fired. It just went on forever. Needless to say, it didn't go." Guest stars included DeForest Kelley, Forrest Lewis, Robert Griffin, and Bonnie Holding.

  167. Johnny Wildlife. Screen Gems 1958.

  The adventures of a wildlife cameraman and his young son.

  REAL DOGS

  148. Bear Heart. Rand-Brooks Productions, 1963. 30 minutes. Director: Randy Brooks. Producer: Robert Huddleston.

  Two half-hour pilots were shot in Big Bear, California, starring Marshall Reed as a widower who brings his two teenage children to a trading post he recently bought in the High Sierras, where they befriend a wild German shepherd named Bear Heart. The first story shows how Bear Heart was mistreated by his owner, the former manager of the trading post, and became wild. The second story shows how the animal became a part of this new family.

  149. McGurk (aka A Dog's Life). NBC 6/15/79. 30 minutes. TAT Communications. Director: Peter Bonerz. Producer: Charlie Hauck. Writers/Creators: Arthur Julian and Charlie Hauck.

  A classic unsold pilot, an embarrassing disaster from the company responsible for such landmark shows as All in the Family and Maude. Barney Martin headed a cast of actors who dressed in dog suits and barked one-liners at each other. The idea, supposedly, was to offer wry observations about man through the eyes of his best friend.

  Cast: Barney Martin (as McGurk), Beej Johnson (Iris), Sherry Lynn (Camille), Charles Martin Smith (Tucker), Hamilton Camp (Spike), Michael Huddleston (Turk).

  150. Duffy. CBS 5/6/77. 30 minutes. Universal Television. Director: Bruce Bilson. Producer: George Eckstein. Writer: Richard DeRoy.

  Duffy is the canine mascot of an elementary school. Everyone likes good old Duffy except the principal (Roger Bowen), the typical, red-checked, stuffy TV stereotype.

  Cast: Duffy (as Himself), Fred Grandy (Cliff Sellers), Lane Binkley (Marty Carter), Roger Bowen (Thomas N. Tibbles), George Wyner (Happy Jack), Jane Lambert (Mrs. Dreifuss), Dick Yarmy (Postman), John Sheldon (Nick), Jarrod Johnson (Danny), John Herbsleb (Craig), Stephen Manley (Josh), Robert E. Ball (Hobo), Jane Dulo (Neighbor).

  151. I Married a Dog. NBC 8/4/61. 30 minutes.

  Hal March stars as a man who's constantly hampered by Noah, his wife's (Marcia Henderson) bothersome dog.

  Cast: Hal March (as Peter Chance), Marcia Henderson (Joyce Nicoll-Chance), Mary Carver (Madge Kellogg) •

  152. K-Nine Patrol. Don Sharpe Productions, 1961.

  John Lupton and Jesse White as police officers in a series pilot based on the case histories of the canine squad of the Baltimore Police Department.

  153. K-9000. Fox 1989. 2 hours. Fries Entertainment. Director: Kim Manners. Executive Producer: Steven E. DeSouza. Producer: Rick Dumm. Writers: Michael Part and Steven E. DeSouza.

  Chris Mulkey is Eddie Monroe, a loose cannon on the L.A.P.D. who has a microchip implanted in his brain by scientist Catherine Oxenberg. This enables him to talk telepathically with his new partner, Niner, a genetically-enhanced German shepherd. Imagine the conversation Eddie and Niner might have had as they fought crime each week (Niner: "I really want to sniff some butt." Eddie: "Later. We got a murder to Solve."). Fox Television Network, trying to build a name for itself as a network of innovation, ordered several scripts based on the concept, but as of January 1991 still had not aired the 1989 pilot it commissioned.

  154. Mutts. ABC 1988. 30 minutes. Ron Howard/Brian Grazer Productions and Imagine Entertainment. Director: Linda Day, Executive Producer: Brian Grazer. Producers/Writers: Howard Bendetson and Bob Bendetson. Music: Alf Clausen. Theme: Harry Nilsson, sung by Rick Riccio.

  The adventures of a boy (Stephen Dorff) and his telepathic dog. In the pilot, they try to win the affections of the girl next door (Amy Hathaway).

  Cast: Stephen Dorff (as Eric Gillman), Wendy Schaal (Janice Gillman), Geoff Pierson (Stuart Gillman), .Amy Hathaway (Chris Hayden), Mike the Dog (Jeepers), Ray Buktenica (Glen), Jennifer Darling (Michelle), Sam Ballantine (Attendant), Catherine Ann Christianson (Customer).

  155. Poochinski. NBC 7/9/90. 30 minutes. Adam Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Television. Director: Will Mackenzie. Executive Producers: John Ritter, Robert Myman, David Kirschner, and Brian Levant. Producer: Lon Diamond. Writers: Lon Diamond and Brian Levant. Music: Andy Summers.

  Stanley Poochinski is a tough, ill-mannered cop who has been gunned down in the line of duty and reincarnated as a talking, flatulent English bulldog, now fighting crime on all fours with his former partner, naïve, straight-arrow rookie detective Robert McKay. In the pilot, Poochinski is intent on putting the bite on his killer.

  Cast: Peter Boyle (as Stanley Poochinski), George Newborn (Det. Robert McKay), Amy Yasbeck (Frannie Reynolds), Frank McRae (Capt. Ed Martin), Brian Haley (Sgt. Shriver).

  156. Sniff.. CBS 8/9/88. 60 minutes. Von Zerneck/Samuels Productions and New York Television. Director: James Quinn. Executive Producers: Stu Samuels, Frank Von Zerneck, and Robert M. Sertner. Producers: Bruce Jay Friedman and Susan Weber-Gold. Writer: Bruce Jay Friedman. Music: Richard Elliot.

  The adventures of a tabloid reporter (Robert Wuhl) and his bloodhound dog, Sniff, who is forever leading the reluctant hero into trouble.

  Cast: Robert Wuhl (as Sid Barrows), Louis Guss (Nat Barrows), Tracie Lin (Sharon), Rebecca Holden (as Vanessa), Robin Curti
s (Barbara), Edward Power (Blaine Sterling), Richard Roat (Gormley), Nancy Fish (Liz Gertz), Michael Zand (Gaza), Christopher Thomas (Morosco), Gerry Black (Detective), P.R. Paul (Intern), Michael McNab (Guard).

  157. Turner and Hootch. NBC 7/9/90. 30 minutes. Touchstone Television. Director: Donald Petrie. Executive Producer: Daniel Petrie, Jr. Producers: Raymond Wagner and Terry Mors9„Writers: Jeffrey C. Sherman and Stephen Metcalfe, from a story by Metcalfe, based on characters created by Dennis Shryack and Michael Blodgett. Music: Charles Gross.

  This pilot, based on the 1989 Tom Hanks movie about a cop whose partner is a slobbering dog, has Tom Wilson now playing detective Scott Turner, married to a veterinarian (Wendy Pratt), and still fighting crime with one ugly mutt named Hootch. Critically assailed (Variety called it "unbelievably boring"), this flop pilot was aired back-to-back with Poochinski under NBC's overall title Two Dog Night. Dogs in more ways than one.

  Cast: Tom Wilson (as Scott Turner), Wendy Pratt (Emily Turner), John Anthony (Derek), also Bradley Mott, Al Fann, Michael Rich, Ivy Bethune, Martin Casella, Jack Evans.

  Big Screen to Little Screen

  PILOTS BASED ON MOVIES

  Television is by nature imitative—the networks try to keep in step with the trends, the tastes, and the social changes of the world they seek to entertain.

  But most of all, _networks try to keep in step with success. Shamelessly. They will copy, remake, spin-off, and imitate their own success, or the successes of others. Networks have always been suckers for the myth of the "pre-sold" idea, concepts that have a built-in audience and a minimum of risk, whether it's the fourth spin-off of Happy Days, or an imitation of Miami' Vice.

  Nothing satisfies the desire for "presold" ideas better than movie adaptations. And yet, almost nothing in television has as high a failure rate.

  There have been well over one hundred television series based on movies, the vast majority of which were staggering failures. The box-office success of their inspirations were meaningless. But the few hits, like M*A*S*H, The Odd Couple, and In the Heat of the Night, and the lure of big syndication bucks they bring, have kept the adaptations coming.

  Recent movie-based series include Parenthood, Bagdad Cafe, Uncle Buck, Dirty Dancing, Working Girl, Alien Nation, True Believer, and Baby Boom. Earlier ones were Planet of the Apes, Logan's Run, Barefoot in the Park, 9 to 5, Beyond Westworld, Semi-Tough, Serpico, Shaft, Blue Thunder, The Bad News Bears, even David Soul in Casablanca. And that ever-growing list of adaptations doesn't include the obvious, movie-inspired series like BJ and the Bear (from Every Which Way But Loose) and Hunter (from Dirty Harry).

  Despite the overwhelming chance of failure, it's easier to sell a big-grossing movie as a series than the brilliant idea you came up with in the shower. A movie is a proven idea, its popularity measured in the enormous box-office dollars it reaped. And if they lined up to see it for six bucks, they ought to stay in their living rooms to see it for free.

  Well, that's the theory any way.

  But there's a big difference between a $20 million, 70 mm Dolby extravaganza starring an international celebrity, and the low-budget, nineteen-inch version starring the obscure stand-up comic or the former bit player. And some movies weren't meant to be repeated twenty-two times a year, for years on end. Some weren't meant to be repeated even once.

  Here are some that never got the chance to find out.

  Would America have watched To Sir, With Love every week? Or waited in suspense for each new episode of The French Connection? Would the studio have reaped untold millions off the further adventures of The Doberman Gang?

  We'll never know.

  168. Adventures in Babysitting. CBS 7/7/89. 30 minutes. Walt Disney Television. Director: Joel Zwick Executive Producers: Greg Antonacci, Debra Hill, and Linda Obst. Producer: David Simkins Writers: David Simkins and Greg Antonacci. Music: Dan Folriat and Howard Pearl.

  Imagine seeing the popular movie again—and again—and again… The misadventures of a pert, conscientious babysitter rushing against the clock to get her mischievous charges out of trouble and back into the house before the parents get home. That's what would happen every week in this proposed series, which, in the pilot, stars Jennifer Guthrie as the babysitter and Susan Blanchard and Dennis Howard as the oblivious parents. It was co-written by David Simkins, who did .the screenplay to the successful teen-oriented 1987 film on which it's based.

  Cast: Jennifer Guthrie (Chris Parker), Susan Blanchard (Joanna Anderson), Dennis Howard (Robert Anderson), Joey Lawrence (Brad Anderson), Courtney Paldon (Sarah Anderson), Brian Green (Daryl Anderson), Ariana Mohit (Brenda), Art Evans (Mr. Dukman), Rocky Giordani (Vince), Jason Tomlin (Rick).

  169. The Adventures of Pollyanna. CBS 4/10/82. 60 minutes. Walt Disney Productions. Director: Robert Day. Executive Producer: William Robert Yates. Producer: Tom Leetch. Writer: Anne Beckett, from the novel by Eleanor Porter. Music: Jerrold Immel.

  Based on the 1960 Disney film Pollyanna. Patsy Kensit takes over for Hayley Mills as the energetic, 12-year-old girl who, after her parents die, emigrates from England to live with her aunt (Shirley Jones) in a small American town, circa 1912. The stories would revolve around the relentlessly upbeat young girl's unique ability to enliven the people around her. Rossie Harris and Roxanna Zal are her two best friends, kids from the local orphanage. -

  Cast: Patsy Kensit (as Pollyanna Harrington), Shirley Jones (Aunt Polly), Edward Winter (Herman Chilton), Roxanna Zal (Mary Lee), Lucille Benson (Mrs. Leveler), Stacey Nelkin (Cora Spencer), Beverly Archer (Angelica), John Putch (Johnny Muller), John Randolph (Mr. Muller), Rosie Harris (Jimmy Bean), Mitzi Hoag (Mrs. Muller), Nicholas Hammond (Reverend Tull), Jay Macintosh (Widow Jean), James Collins (Thomas Jenn), Anne Haney (Miss Bess), Gretchen Wyler (Mrs. Tarkell).

  170. African Queen (aka Safari). NBC 4/3/62. 60 minutes. Four Star. Executive Producer: Dick Powell. Writer: Juarez Roberts.

  James Coburn and Glynis Johns recreate the roles of Charlie Allnot, a ragged riverboat captain, and Rosie Sayer, an African missionary, made famous by Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn in the motion picture The African Queen. This pilot was aired as an episode of Dick Powell Theatre and had the two heroes sabotaging the German war effort in World War I. Costarred Juano Hernandez,

  Oscar Beregi, and Ellen Corby.

  171. The African Queen. CBS 3/18/77. 60 minutes. Viacom Enterprises. Director: Richard Sarafian. Executive Producer: Mark Carliner. Producer: Len Kaufman. Writer: Irving Gaynor Neiman. Music: John Murtaugh.

  The second attempt (the first was in the early 1960s) to turn the popular 1951 Bogart-Hepburn movie into a TV series. Warren Oates plays a steamboat captain to Mariette Hartley's missionary in an adventure set in World War I Africa. Shot on location in the Florida Everglades.

  Cast: Warren Oates (as Charlie Allnot), Mariette Hartley (Rosie Sayer), Johnny Sekka (Jogana), Wolf Roth (Lt. Biedemeyer), Albert Paulsen (Major Strauss), Frank Schuller (Heinke), Clarence Thomas (Sgt. Abuto), Tyrone Jackson (Kaninu).

  172. At Your Service (aka American in Paris). CBS 8/3/64. 30 minutes. MCA. Producer/Director: Gene Kelly. Writer: Cynthia Lindsay. Music: George Gershwin.

  A comedy adventure starring Van Johnson as a young American who owns a travel agency in France and helps tourists in trouble. Based on the 1951 movie An American in Paris starring Gene Kelly, this pilot, shot on location in 1961, sat on the shelf for four years before being aired.

  Cast: Van Johnson (as James Devlin), Marcel Dalio (Michel), Jan Sterling (Gloria Miles), Judi Meredith (Penny Miles).

  173. Barefoot in the Park. CBS 11/24/69. 30 minutes. Paramount Television. Director: Jerry Paris. Executive Producers/Writers: Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson. Producer: Charles Shyer. Music: Charles Fox.

  After being rejected by CBS, this busted pilot was aired on Love American Style as the episode "Love and the Good Deal," based on the Neil Simon play and the subsequent film starring Robert Redford and Jane Fonda about a young couple living on the top floor of a run-down
Manhattan walk-up. The pilot episode deals with the problems the couple has with a cheap bed they bought. The proposed series, to have starred Skye Aubrey, Norman Fell, Hans Conried, Phil Clarke, Jane Wyatt, and Harvey Lembeck, would have featured stories in which the wife's blind faith and naïveté would get her into trouble that the husband must patiently work out.

  The flop pilot was recast and reshot with an all-black cast and eventually aired as "The Bed" episode of the subsequently ABC series, which lasted twelve weeks. Marshall and Belson, who successfully brought Simon's The Odd Couple to TV, would later recast that for ABC with all-black actors (featuring Demond Wilson and Ron Glass) and redub it The New Odd Couple. That series lasted thirteen weeks.

  174. Bates Motel. NBC 7/5/87. 2 hours. Universal Television. Director: Richard Rothstein.. Executive Producer: Richard Rothstein. Producers: Ken Topolsky and George Linder. Writer: Richard Rothstein, from characters created by Robert Bloch. Music: J. Peter Robinson.