Unsold TV Pilots: The Greatest Shows You Never Saw

by Lee Goldberg

  Cast: Suzanne Somers (as Charlie/Charlene), John Davidson (George), Ray Buktenica (Ray), Kathleen Wilhoite (Victoria).

  193. The Goodbye Girl (aka Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever). [Pilot #1] NBC 5/28/82. 30 minutes. MGM Television, Rastar Television, and Warner Bros. Television. Director: James Burrows. Executive Producer:- Allan Katz. Producer: Charles Raymond. Writer: Allan Katz. Creator: Neil Simon. Music: Harry Lojewski. Theme song: David Gates.

  Based on the 1977 movie The Goodbye Girl, which starred Marsha Mason as a widowed dancer, raising a young girl (Quinn Cummings), who reluctantly shares an apartment with a struggling actor (Richard Dreyfuss) and falls in love with him. Karen Valentine, Lili Haydn and Michael Lembeck assume the roles as Paula McFadden, Elliott Garfield, and Lucy McFadden in this pilot (filmed in 1980), which Variety felt "came off several niches higher than usual tryouts" and that "as a series, it could be a pleasure."

  193a. The Goodbye Girl. [Pilot #2] NBC 1981,30 minutes. MGM Television. Director: Charlotte Brown. Executive Producer: Gerald Isenberg. Producers/Writers: Charlotte Brown and Pat Nardo, based on characters created by Neil Simon.

  A second pilot based on the movie The Goodbye Girl, the story of an out-of-work dancer and her nine-year-old daughter, who share their New York apartment with a struggling actor. Although the two adults fight constantly, they are held together by the clear-thinking girl. New characters include the dancer's middle-aged boyfriend and the actor's uptight, executive brother. JoBeth Williams was slated to star, taking over from Karen Valentine, from the earlier pilot.

  194. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. ABC 5/28/75. 30 minutes. Columbia Pictures Television. Producer/Director: Stanley Kramer. Writers: Richard DeRoy and Bill Idelson, based on the motion picture.

  A situation comedy, inspired by the Oscar-winning 1967 film that was directed by Stanley Kramer and starred Katharine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, and Sidney Poitier, revolving around what happens when a socially prominent white girl marries an upper class black man and the two families become one. This was director Stanley Kramer’s only foray into television.

  Cast: Leslie Charleson (as Joanna Prentiss), Bill Overton (John Prentiss), Eleanor Parker (Christine Drayton), Richard Dysart (Matt Drayton), Lee Weaver (Ralph Prentiss), Madge Sinclair (Sarah Prentiss), Rosetta Le Noir (Tillie), William Calloway (Joe Delaney), Joseph R. Sicari (Orville Peacock).

  195. A Guide for the Married Man. ABC 1969. 30 minutes. Twentieth Century Fox Television. Director James Frawley. Executive Producer/ Writer: Frank Tarloff. Producer: Frank McCarthy.

  Based on the 1967 motion picture. Episodes would explore such topics as how to hire a secretary, how to explain an old girlfriend and how to be a girl-watcher. The characters included a conservative, thirty-five-year old, recently married man and his friend Ed, who has been married for six years. This starred Hal Buckley, Anthony Roberts, Pat Delaney, and Sally Ann Richards.

  196. Gulliver. NBC 1963. Screen Gems. Producer: Charles Schneer.

  Based on the story by Jonathan Swift and adapted from the movie Three Worlds of Gulliver, made in 1960 by Schneer and effects wizard Ray 1-larryhausen. John Cairny steps in for Kerwin Mathews as Gulliver, the sailor who lands on the LiIliput, an island populated by miniature people. In this retelling, lie lands with his girlfriend, played by Christina Gregg. Filmed in Dynamation, Harryhausen's animation process.

  197. Hearts of the West (aka Riding High). NBC 8/25/77. 30 minutes. MGM. Director: Lee Phillips. Producer: Marc Merson. Writer: Larry Gelbart.

  Based on the 1975 movie Hearts of the West, which was set in Hollywood in the 1930s and starred Jeff Bridges as a would-be Western writer who works as an extra in cowboy serials. Charles Frank over in the pilot, which also features Lonny Chapman as a has-been star who is now an extra, Allan Miller as the cheap producer, Allen Case as the western star, and Wendy Phillips as a production assistant.

  Cast: Charles Frank (as Lewis Tater), Wendy Phillips (Wendy Trout), Lonny Chapman (Howard Pike), Allan Miller (Bert Kessler), Don Calfa (Sid), Bill Hart (Wally), Allen Case (Lyle Montana), Pat Crenshaw (Bear).

  198. Holly Golightly. ABC 1969. 30 minutes. Twentieth Century Fox -J:0 Television. Producer/Director: James Frawley. Writer: James Henerson.

  Based on the 1961 Paramount film Breakfast at Tiffany's, adapted from Truman Capote's book. In the pilot, Holly (Stefanie Powers) moves into a new apartment—and accidentally sparks an all-night party filled with dozens of strange people doing weird things. Also featured are George Furth, Jack Kruschen, and Jean Pierre Aumont.

  199. Honky Tonk. NBC 4/1/74. 90 minutes. MGM Television Director: Don Taylor. Executive Producer/Writer: Douglas Heyes. Producer: Hugh Benson. Music: Jerry Fielding.

  An attempt to turn the 1941 western Honky Tonk, starring Clark Gable and Lana Turner, into a TV series. Richard Crenna is now Candy Johnson, a conman in the Old West, and Margot Kidder is Lucy Cotton, his partner, a judge's daughter. Douglas Heyes knows how to write Western con men—he did it best for several years on Maverick.

  Cast: Richard Crenna (as Candy Johnson), Margot Kidder (Lucy Cotton), Stella Stevens (Gold Dust), Will Geer (Judge Cotton), John Dehner (Brazos), Geoffrey Lewis (Roper), Gregory Sierra (Slade), James Luisi (Blachie), Robert Casper (Doc Goodwin), Richard Stahl (Mr. Arnold), Stephen Coit (Mr. Bennett).

  200. House of Wax (aka Chamber of Horrors). ABC 1966, 99 minutes. Warner Bros. Television. Director: Hy Averback. Writer: Stephen Kandel. Music: William Lava.

  Wilfrid Hyde-White starred in this pilot (based on the 1953 motion picture) that, once it was rejected as a series, was also released as a feature film, faring no better. Despite such cinematic gimmicks as the "Horror Horn and Fear Flasher," it was quickly (and justifiably) forgotten. Steven Scheuer says in Movies on TV that viewers will "laugh in the wrong places" and that "Patrick O'Neal rolls his eyes a great deal as the notorious madman," killing people in Baltimore circa 1880.

  Cast: Patrick O'Neal (Jason Cravette), Cesare Danova (Anthony Draco), Wilfrid Hyde-White (Harold Blount), Laura Devon (Marie Champlain), Patrice Wymore (Vivian), Suzy Parker (Barbara Dixon), Tun Tun (Sr. Pepe de Reyes), Philip Bourneauf (Inspector Strudwick), Jeanette Nolan (Mrs. Ewing Perryman), Marie Windsor (Mme. Corona), Wayne Rogers (Sgt. Albertson), Vinton Hayworth (Judge Randolph), Richard O'Brien (Dr. Cobb), Berry Kroeger (Chun Sing).

  201. If I Had a Million. NBC 12/31/73. 60 minutes. Universal Television. Director: Daryl Duke. Executive Producer: David Levinson. Producer: James McAdams. Writer: Various.

  Based on the all-star 1932 movie of the same name. Peter Kastner is a wealthy man who goes to the local library, randomly chooses a phone book from some American city, flips the pages, and picks a name. Then he anonymously gives that person a million dollars. The pilot was divided into four short stories about four different recipients.

  #1. The Good Boy. Writers: Lionel E. Siegel and Herbert Wright, from a story by Lionel E. Siegel. Cast: John Schuck, Louis Zorich, Val Biscoglio, and Doolie Brown.

  #2. .The Searchers. Writer: Robert Van Scoyk. Cast: Joseph Wiseman, Ruth McDevitt, Gerald Hiken, and Rae Allen.

  #3. Three. Writer: M. Charles Cohen. Cast: Kenneth Mars, Elayne Helveil, Melendy Britt.

  #4. First the Tube, and Now You, Darling. Writer: Oliver Halley. Cast: Brett Somers, Ted Gehring.

  202. The Jerk, Too (aka Another Jerk). NBC 1/6/84. 2 hours. 40 Share Productions and Universal Television. Director: Michael Schultz. Executive Producer: Steve Martin. Producers: Ziggy Steinberg and Al Burton. Writers: Ziggy Steinberg and Rocco Urbisci. Creators: Steve Martin and Carl Gottlieb. Theme: John Sebastian.

  A sequel/adaptation of the 1979 Steve Martin movie The Jerk. Mark Blankfield is Navin Johnson, a naïve, good-natured, clumsy oaf, a white orphan raised by a family of black sharecroppers whom he leaves to go on a cross-country trek to prevent his. true-love (Stacey Nelkin) from marrying an unscrupulous, European aristocrat (Barrie Ingham). Along the way, Navin befriends Diesel, a hobo (Ray Walston), who wants to exploit Navin's skill at cards. In
the proposed series, Navin would settle with Diesel in Los Angeles, screw up at various odd jobs, and court his true-love, to the consternation of her snobbish parents.

  Cast: Mark Blankfield (as Navin Johnson), Ray Walston (Diesel), Stacey Nelkin (Marie Van Buren), Barrie Ingham (Carl), Jean LeClerc (Count Marco del Belvedere), Thalmus Rasulala (Crossroads), Mabel King (Mama Johnson), Al Farm (Papa Johnson), Robert Sampson (Gilbert Van Buren), Patricia Barry (Helen Van Buren), Todd Hollowell (Damon Johnson), Larry B. Scott (Harold Johnson), Stacy Harris (Carmen Johnson), Lina Raymond (Cheetah Johnson), Pat McCormick (Dudley), Bill Saluga (Shoes), William Smith (Suicide), Peter Schrum (Ugly Eddie), Lainie Kazan (Card Player), Martin Mull (Card Player), Jimmie Walker (Card Player), Gwen Verdon (Bag Lady), Jack O'Leary (Porter), Benny Baker (Pop), Frank Birney (Priest).

  203. Kissing Cousins. NBC. 1965. 30 minutes. MGM Television. Director: Don Weis. Producer: Sam Katzman.

  Based on the 1964 movie starring Elvis Presley. Edd Byrnes plays an Army officer from the Ozarks who goes back to the mountains to scout a location for a missile site. The locals are suspicious and untrusting of him, so he uses his "kissin' cousins" to help him out. Stanley Adams costars in this completed pilot.

  204. The Last Detail. ABC 1975. 30 minutes. Columbia Pictures Television. Director: Jackie Cooper. Producer: Gerry Ayres. Writers: Gerry Ayres and Bill Kirby.

  This is a whistle-clean sitcom version of the 1973 movie, which starred Jack Nicholson and Otis Young. Robert F. Lyons and Charles Robinson now portray career men Buddvsley and Mulhall in the peacetime Navy who, as much as they may like civilian life, can't seem to fit in and really need the dull routine of the military to be happy.

  205. The Main Event. NBC 1980. Warner Bros. Television.

  Based on the previous year's movie, which starred Barbra Streisand as a woman who manages a boxer, played by Ryan O'Neal—though most of the fights happen between them, and not in the ring.

  206. The Man Who Fell to Earth. ABC 8/23/87. 2 hours. MGM Television. Director: Bobby Roth. Executive Producer: David Gerber. Producers: Lewis Chesler and Richard Kletter. Writer: Richard Kletter, from the screenplay by Paul Mayersberg, based on the book by Walter Tevis. Music: Doug Timm.

  Lewis Smith takes over the role, originated by David Bowie in director Nicolas Roeg's 1976 movie, of an extraterrestrial from a drought-stricken planet who crash-lands on Earth. He infiltrates our society and, teamed with a shrewd businessman (James Laurenson), uses his advanced knowledge to create inventions and build a successful company, hoping to use his money to build a craft to take him home—and lead his people back here. But a government agent (Robert Picardo) uncovers him and he flees, forced to find another way to build his craft before his people perish—and before he is caught. Lewis Chesler produced HBO's Hitchhiker anthology.

  Cast: Lewis Smith (as Thomas Newton), James Laurenson (Felix Hawthorne), Robert Picardo (Agent Richard Morse), Beverly D'Angelo (Eva), Bruce McGill (Dr. Vernon Gage), Wil Wheaton (Billy), Annie Potts (Louis* and Bobbi Jo Lathan, Henry Sanders, Carmen Argenziano, Chris DeRose, Richard Shydner, Bob Neilsen, Steve Natole, Michael Fontaine, Albert Owens, Anne O'Neill, Amy Sawaya, Carl Parker, Hank Stratton.

  207. Meet Me in St. Louis. CBS 9/2/66. 30 minutes: MGM Television. Executive Producer: Alan Courtney. Producer: Paul West. Writer: Sally Benson, based on her story.

  Adapted from the 1944 Judy Garland musical set at the turn of the century at the World's Fair. The pilot stars Shelley Fabares as Esther, a girl from Missouri who has just arrived in New York. It was ultimately rejected, says executive producer Alan Courtney, when a network executive decided "he didn't want anything on his network with an ice wagon rattling down the street."

  Cast: Shelley Fabares (as Esther Smith), Celeste Holm (Anne Smith), Larry Merrill (Glenn Smith), Judy Land (Faye Morse), Reta Shaw (Katie), also Susanne Cupito and Tommy Locke.

  208. Mother, Juggs and Speed. ABC 8/17/78. 30 minutes. Twentieth Century Fox Television. Director: John Rich. Producer: Bruce Geller. Writer/Creator: Tom Mankiewicz.

  Based on the 1976 movie, which starred Raquel Welch, Bill Cosby, Harvey Keitel and was written by Mankiewicz. The proposed series, like the film, is about the reckless paramedic team driving a rundown ambulance for a ramshackle company.

  Cast: Ray Vitte (as Mother), Joanne Nail (Jennifer "Juggs" Juggston), Joe Penny (Speed), Harvey Lembeck (Harry Fishbine), Shay Duffin (Whiplash Moran), Barbara Minkus (Mrs. Fishbine), Rod McCary (Murdock), Jan Shutan (Mrs. Barry), Charlotte Stewart (Iris), Marcus Smythe (Tom).

  209. Miss Bishop (aka Cheers for Miss Bishop). NBC 9/1/61. 30 minutes. Paramount Television.

  A sitcom based on the 1941 movie Cheers for Miss Bishop, a drama which starred Martha Scott as a teacher at a Midwestern college. Like the movie, this pilot, was based on the book by Bess Streeter. Jan Clayton stars as Miss Bishop, finds herself attracted to one of her adult students (Tom Helmore), a contemporary she's tutoring on the side. Also in the cast was Julie Payne.

  210. Mr. Mom. ABC 11/30/84. 30 minutes. Sherwood Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Television. Director: Terry Hughes. Executive Producers/Writers: Frank Dungan and Jeff Stein. Producer: Pat Rickey. Creator: John Hughes. Music: Dave Fisher. Singers: Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo.

  Based on the previous year's hit movie, which starred Michael Keaton as an unemployed auto worker who takes over running the household when his wife, played by Teri Garr, goes to work at an advertising agency. Barry Van Dyke and Rebecca York assume the roles in the TV version. Aaron Spelling, who produced the movie, is billed on the pilot as executive consultant.

  Cast: Barry Van Dyke (as Jack Butler), Rebecca York (Caroline Butler), Brendon Blincoe (Curtis Butler), Sean deVeritch (Kenny Butler), Heidi Zeigler (Megan Butler), Phyllis Davis (Joan Hampton), Howard Honig (Darryl Fetty), Pat McNamara (Vernon Wesley), Sam Scarber (Sgt. Preston), Dimitri Michas (Marine).

  211. Mrs. Sundance. ABC 1/15/74. 90 minutes. Twentieth Century Fox Television. Director:. Marvin J. Chomsky. Producer: Stan Hough. Writer: Christopher Knopf. Music: Patrick Williams.

  A sequel to the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Elizabeth Montgomery takes over for Katharine Ross as Etta Place, the fugitive lover of the outlaw Sundance Kid—who, she thinks, may still be alive. She's relentlessly pursued by Charles Siringo, a Pinkerton agent. Katharine Ross returned to the role in a subsequent pilot from producer Stan Hough, Wanted: The Sundance Woman, in 1976 in which she is still chased by the Pinkerton man—played by Steve Forrest—and becomes a gunrunner for Pancho Villa.

  Cast: Elizabeth Montgomery (as Etta Place), Robert Foxworth (Jack • Maddox), L.Q. Jones (Charles Siringo), Arthur Hunnicutt (Walt Putney), Lorna Thayer (Fanny Porter), Lurene Tuttle (Mrs. Lee), Claudette Nevins (Mary Lant), Byron Mabe (Merkle), Robert Donner (Ben Lant), Dean Smith (Avery), Jack Williams (Davis), Todd Shelhorse (David).

  212. Nevada Smith. NBC 5 /3/75. 90 minutes. MGM Television. Director: Gordon Douglas. Producers/Writers/Creators: John Michael Hayes and Martin Rackin, based on character created by Harold Robbins. Music: Lamont Dozier.

  This Western pilot has a long lineage. It's based on Harold Robbins's book The Carpetbaggers, the 1964 movie of the same name, and the 1966 celluloid sequel Nevada Smith. Cliff Potts and Lorne Greene star as Nevada Smith, a half-breed gunslinger, and his mentor Jonas Cord, roles portrayed earlier by Steve McQueen and Brian Keith, who carried on where Alan Ladd and Leif Erickson had left off. In the pilot, Cord and his family open the first munitions factory in the West and hire Smith to help run the operation and escort a shipment of explosives to Utah. Filmed on location in Durango, Mexico, this marks the return of Adam West to the genre in which he made his name prior to "Batman."

  Cast: Cliff Potts (as Nevada Smith), Lorne Greene (Jonas Cord), Adam West (Frank Hartlee), Warren Vanders (Red Fickett), Jorge Luke (Two Moon), Jerry Gatlin (Brill), Eric Cord (Davey), John McKee (McLane), Roger Cudney (Perkins), Alan George (MacBaren), Lorraine Chanel (Belva).

  213. Norma Rae. NBC
11/21/81. 60 minutes. McKeand Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Television. Director: Ed Parone. Executive Producers: Alex Rose and Tamara eAggir. Producer: Nigel McKeand. Writer: Carol McKeand. Music: David Shire.

  Based on the movie 1979 that earned Sally Field an Academy Award. Cassie Yates takes over the role of Norma Rae, an outspoken millworker, union organizer and mother of two who lives with her father in a small southern town.

  Cast: Cassie Yates (as Norma Rae Webster), Nancy Jarnagin (Willie Webster), Keith Mitchell (Craig Webster), Barry Corbin (Vernon Witchard), Jane Atkins (Alma Woodruff), Jordan Clarke (Frank Osborne), Ernest Hardin, Jr. (William Poole), Gary Frank (Reuben), Mickey Jones (Emery), Richard Dysart (Judge Elvin Allen), James T. Hall (Clay Johnson), Enid Kent (Waitress), Jon Van Ness (Process Server), Ed Call (Boss Man), Jack Garner (Bailiff).