Master

by Raven McAllan

  Cade shook his head in mock despair. "You're not. That's why you need to find them."

  "Funny man. You know what I mean. Ah ha." She ducked under her desk, and her purple clad bum stuck up in the air as she bent double.

  Cade chuckled. "Nice ass."

  Daisy stood up again and waved a pair of four-inch stiletto-heeled boots at him. Her face was flushed. Cade reckoned it was from bending over not from embarrassment at his comment. He was right. She rolled her eyes and stuck one finger in the air.

  "Nice ass? Yes, you are. Let's go."

  As a retort he decided it couldn't be bettered. Cade followed her out of the room.

  Chapter Eight

  Okay, now I've got one chance.

  Until that moment, Anna would have laughed if she'd been told the air was heavy or expectant. She'd have rolled her eyes at the speaker and told them not to be fanciful. Not now however. She understood what it meant all too well. The family of spiders that lived under her garden shed floor had taken up residence in her tummy and was jostling for position. Those that couldn't get in were vying with the army of ants that crawled over her body and made her skin too tight for her skeleton. In a word, Anna was scared.

  "For goodness’ sake, hon." Fiona cuddled her as Lizzie arranged a pile of cushions on the floor and sat down. "We're not having an orgy here, you know. It's a bottle of wine and a pizza. The only ropes are those on the ends of the sofa."

  Anna giggled and tried a smile. "I often wonder what those sofa builders had in mind when they tied the sides to the back like that."

  Lizzie looked up from the floor. "Probably not what we have."

  "And not tonight," Fiona added with a frown at Lizzie who just grinned.

  "Nah, sadly. No, sorry, Anna, I didn't mean that. Tonight is a girly chat, and we're not going to make you run screaming into the night. Food in ten."

  Anna giggled. "Oh good, because I'm starving." She headed for the recliner that seemed to be earmarked as 'Anna's chair' and sat down.

  She'd become close to the other two girls over the last few weeks and knew their rituals and preferences. Lizzie always sat on the floor, not, she'd explained, as a sub, but because she found it more comfortable. Fiona preferred sprawling on the settee, and Anna curled up in the leather recliner and tilted it back. They'd enjoyed meals together, been to the cinema, and taken Dickens for long walks. Caden hadn't been mentioned.

  Now she wriggled into a comfy position and sighed. "Okay, what are you up to? You have those scary we know what's best for you looks on your faces.

  Lizzie blushed. Fiona frowned. "I think it's time, don't you?"

  Damn. "I guess so. I mean I can go on and on skirting the issue, eating your food, talking about everything except what I need help for. Yeah, let's start. Hey, I don't have to call you Mistress, do I?"

  Fiona stood up. Anna gulped as her friend seemed to grow in stature and her face changed. "In theory, yes. However, no, not here. This is friends helping friends, Anna. Now, come here."

  Anna blinked. Even the voice had changed. Although the accent was the same, the tone was one of command and expectation of instant obedience. Without thinking of her action, she scrambled out of the chair and walked to Fiona. Fiona hugged her.

  "See, you responded from the heart, Anna. You want to sub, but won't give in easily. Why not? Oh not to me, I'm happy and want no one except Lizzie, but you? You're crying inside."

  "I know." Anna sighed. "It's a matter of trust, I guess. Do I trust Cade? Well, I didn't, did I? And he never gave me any reason not to trust him. I just couldn't do what he wanted."

  "Was it him you didn't trust, Anna? Or was it yourself?" Lizzie had moved to stand next to Fiona and rested her head on Fiona's shoulder.

  Anna sighed. It also came from the heart. "Myself. How could I hold him when I hated what he wanted me to do? And I loved him so much, I didn't say no. But deep down? I hated what I was doing, so I ran." She swallowed. "No, that's a lie. I loved what we were doing, but couldn't understand why he wanted to share it with others. It was us, private and…" She burst into tears. "Oh shit, why wasn't I enough? Why did he want other people to see me like that?" The words came out in a staccato rhythm in between sobs. "The bastard, sharing what was ours, showing my body to other people, letting them leer, and ogle, and laugh. And I couldn't get out, I had to stop there and I hated it. He was so proud, he kept telling me how beautiful I looked and how people envied us and … no … noooo."

  Lizzie and Fiona held Anna between them and let her cry. For the first time in years, Anna just let it out. Her frustration, worry, love, and fear had been repressed for so long that once she started she couldn't stop. By the time the sobs had become a few hiccups, Anna was shaky and drained. And, she realized as she accepted a box of tissues from Lizzie, relieved.

  "Thanks. Oh god, I needed that." Anna blew her nose and wiped her eyes. "I didn't know how much." She took a deep breath. "Okay, flake over. And I'm starving. Hell, I hope I haven't ruined the pizza."

  Lizzie shook her head. "Nah, you only flaked for a wee while. I'll go and get it."

  "So," Anna said as they sat round the table eating the perfectly cooked pizza. "What do I do next?"

  Fiona chewed a piece of chicken and swallowed. "What do you want to do, hon? After all, you said it was over fifteen years ago."

  Anna put down her cutlery and drank some wine. "Yeah, I lied. I thought I'd made it over, but one look at him and my thong was soaked. Hell, I could almost come by looking at him." She put her glass down and spread her hands. "Three weeks ago I couldn't have admitted that to myself let alone tell anyone else. Even thinking about him, my nipples hurt. Oh fucking hell, I'm a goner again." She dried her clammy hands on her napkin. "Ladies, I need major help. Or a lobotomy, and I hate pain. Don't laugh, I really don't do pain in any shape or form."

  It seemed to be the last straw for Fiona and Lizzie. They both burst out laughing. After a few seconds Anna joined in. "Yes, hmm," she spluttered once they'd calmed down a bit. "Shut up, you two. I might not like pain, but I so know how to inflict it on others. Watch it, or I might feel the need to get some practice in."

  "On a Dom?" Fiona asked, although her eyes twinkled to show she wasn't serious. "Not if you hate pain as you say you do."

  "Yeah, right, now then, seriously, I need your help. What do I do? If nothing else I need to be able to go to the damn club without throwing up. He still has my picture, and even though his deadline has expired I want that picture. I don't suppose you two want to do a spot of unbreaking and entering do you?"

  Fiona shook her head. "No, thanks. Caden McCourt's reputation goes before him. I'm only a Domme, he's an awe inspiring Master. No one but no one in their right mind, oh, except you it seems, crosses him and lives to Dom again. Or sub. So we'll pass."

  "Wuss."

  "Yup. Think of something else."

  That was the problem. Anna didn’t want to think. She knew what she had to do, and it scared the living daylights out of her.

  ****

  "Okay, now this is step one. Take a deep breath, and practice those exercises we did. You've done brilliantly so far, and you need to do this if your plans are to work."

  Anna groaned as she stood next to Lizzie in front of the one-way mirror in the darkened room and looked at the scene in the other room below. "Yes, all right. You're right, and I'll do it. I'm taking deep breaths. I will not hyperventilate."

  "And open your eyes. That's my Dom down there flogging a sub, not yours."

  "What?" Anna opened her eyes. She hadn't even realized she'd shut them. "Where? I can't see her. All I can see is a few people sitting round the bar, and oh god, apparatus. But no one's on anything. You fibbed."

  "Yup," Lizzie was unrepentant. "Anna, we've sneaked you in here. So for fuck’s sake you've got to keep your eyes open. At least for now. Right look down. What do you see?"

  Anna looked. "Like I said, scary apparatus and some people wandering around. And oh god, someone in handcuffs." Her stoma
ch heaved. It felt full of lead, and she shivered. "Hell, Lizzie, why?"

  "They want to be. So why not? Does it do anyone harm? No. Why does it bother you? Do you want to be her?"

  Anna shuddered and ignored the zip of excitement that hardened her nipples and sent a gush of liquid to pool at the entrance to her pussy. "Not on your nelly … ah okay, not in public on your nelly."

  Lizzie spluttered. "Oh god, that's a new name for it. I must remember … okay, I know it's just an expression. My Nan used to say it. So maybe in private? Like here and now?"

  A sharp prickle of anticipation buzzed through Anna, and she gasped. "Damn you, Liz. Why do you say such things? This is not private. Would you do it?"

  Lizzie bit her lip. "Hmm, I would have said no, but besides which, helping you is helping me. Now if it was just Fi and me, perhaps, I might. Because we'd be private, but be here and not at home. So sort of a halfway point."

  She had a point. Anna thought for a moment. "Yeah, but you and Fi are an established couple. I'm in no man’s land."

  "Hold your hands out." Fiona had entered the room unheard by either Lizzie or Anna. "Both of you."

  Anna swung round. Fiona held two pairs of cuffs in her hands. She looked toward Lizzie who held her hands out. Fiona snapped the Velcro around Lizzie's wrists and checked for comfort. "Good girl." She gave Lizzie a kiss on the cheek and turned to Anna.

  "Well? Are you ready?"

  Am I? Anna rubbed her fingers together and ignored the buzzing in her ears. If she couldn't do this, what hope had she got? She held her hands out and hoped they didn't tremble. Fiona fastened the cuffs on and kissed Anna's cheek. It was the comfort of a touch of a friend.

  "I'm proud of you both. Now, all I want you to do is sit on those seats and watch downstairs for half an hour. Safe words now. How do you feel, what's your color?"

  "Green." Anna spoke at the same time as Lizzie and laughed. "Blimey, that's a step forward. It really is green." She was pleased that she truly didn't feel ready to throw up. The cuffs didn't hurt or even restrict her too much.

  "Good. Then whatever happens, you don't get up. You're on your honor, and I trust you both."

  It was the one thing she could have said to make Anna conform. After all, how hard could it be? The cuffs didn't hurt or even restrict her too much. She sat down and watched Lizzie do the same. In a somewhat furtive way, Lizzie put her finger to her lips and mouthed Shh. Then her fingers flashed, and Anna had to stifle her grin. The previous week, when Fiona was working, she and Lizzie had invented their own version of signing. Anna hadn't thought they'd ever need to use it, even though they'd giggled over how much fun it could be to pass opinions and no one else know what they were doing.

  So Lizzie reckoned the room was bugged then? Anna had to agree. It had been too coincidental that the handcuffs arrived just after they'd discussed that very thing. Anna had the silly thought that if they both said they'd want to sit in jelly a bathtub full would arrive. A flurry of fingers, and Anna smiled widely.

  "I do hope I won't be sick all over the window," she said loudly. Lizzie stuffed her hand in her mouth. "Okay then, if we’re told to sit and watch I guess we’d better do it." She made a show of sitting, and the chair creaked in protest, and she wriggled on it.

  "Oh yes," Lizzie said, her voice high. "Um, maybe, let's just look." She sat in the next chair and signed. "Oh god, what next?"

  Anna looked down into the great room of the club. It had filled up, and the tall silver-haired Dom she'd spoken to on the night she'd freaked was checking the cuffs on a woman dressed in a leather bustier and not much else. She waited for the fear to fill her, and for her skin to itch. It didn't happen. Her heartbeat sped up, and she blinked a few times. It wasn't her—it was someone else. Their kink—safe sane and consensual—so nothing to her.

  "Er, that sub over on the far side? She looks like she wants to do the ironing," Anna said in a level voice. "Why bother if that's how you feel?"

  "No idea, but if anyone can change her attitude, then I reckon he will."

  Lizzie was right. Within five minutes the sub's face was animated and Anna's body was demanding attention. And there was no way it was going to get what it wanted. Anna shifted in her seat. Why the great big turn around in attitude? Had her plans been the right ones? She needed to think and use her vibrator as soon as she could.

  Part Three

  Continuation

  Chapter Nine

  The computer pinged the arrival of an email. Caden opened it up without much enthusiasm. Three weeks after his deadline and not a whisper from Anna. Had he really thought there would be? Well, no, but he had hoped there might be something, even a solicitor's letter. Not this great deafening silence.

  The email was a reminder of his schedule from Daisy who had decided to have two weeks off to cleanse her aura. When Cade asked just what she meant by that, she'd grinned and replied, "Painting the bathroom."

  There was no answer to that, especially as he'd done something similar not long before. He read the timetable with little interest. Daisy had already set up his electronic calendar on his laptop, written everything in the diary, and emailed every day. He'd think she was missing him if she didn't also remind him on a regular basis that he was due to have a meal with her and her partner the following weekend. And add in bold italic script was it going to be for three or four? When they'd arranged the date, she'd told him to bring a friend and he'd rolled his eyes and asked her, "Yeah, and just who do you think I should bring then?"

  Daisy had smiled and shrugged before she'd answered him. "Well, remember the offer is there."

  Cade scowled as he scrolled down his list of appointments. At least she'd stopped trying to pair him off. Just because Daisy was all loved up with Marco, her new Dom and partner, she thought everyone should be the same. It had taken his threat of telling Marco she was being bratty to make Daisy promise to back off and leave him to sort his own sub, or lack of sub, out. He didn’t have the heart to tell her he had no inclination to do either. He couldn't remember the last time he'd demonstrated, apart from his guest visit to Glasgow. For the first time since he'd chosen the lifestyle and practiced his craft, Caden wasn’t practicing. What worried him more was that he wasn't worried.

  Now he decided there was nothing important to do until his initial meeting with—he squinted at the screen—a Ms. Taylor, at four p.m. Under it Daisy had added, 'Nervous, needs pampering, I suggest the spa.'

  Not going to happen. The spa held too many memories for him. He pulled up the details Daisy had left him. It seemed Ms. Taylor wasn't sure if she'd make a good sub or not, but knew she wasn't a Domme. She wanted to explore her inclinations. Caden snorted, as he read the full and informative document Daisy had asked Ms. Taylor to fill in. If she had actually read all the form he'd be surprised. There was no photo, no physical details, and a very brief appropriate yes or no to the medical questions. Not only that, there were an awful lot of maybes on it. Damn the woman, he foresaw a good few sessions of finding out just what she meant by maybe. He glanced farther down the sheet and bit back an epithet. Good lord, she didn’t even understand safe words, thought she might like to be spanked but hated pain in any form. Wasn't prepared to strip off unless no one was able to see her—how could he work with her and not see her naked if he'd demanded she strip, he had no idea—and didn't think she'd want to watch anyone else doing it. But she would submit maybe. What the hell? It was a joke. Not only was the woman a mass of contradictions, she sounded as if she was taking the mickey. The sad thing was if Daisy had signed her up, Caden was bound to at least go through the motions. It sounded like he was going to have a fun time—not. And no respite in sight.

  Caden had taken a step back from being hands on in the club after his first visit to Glasgow, and to his inner amazement, he hadn't missed it. The joy of teaching had left him, and he rarely scened at all. He'd honor his commitment to Linsey and Dommissima, but then Cade had decided he needed to take a long, hard look at where he wanted his
life to go. Truth to tell, since his last meeting with Anna, the look on her face had haunted him. How could he live with the way she had lost her vibrant spark? Was it him who'd turned her from a feisty, gorgeous, vivacious girl into a shadow of herself? He'd done a lot of soul-searching in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep. Although Cade's rational side knew it wasn't all down to him, his emotions weren't so easy to appease. Domination was as necessary to him as water to a fish, but could he temper it? Even if he did, would it be enough for Anna? And it wasn't as if he could half tie her, or stop the wax just before it touched her skin. Hell. He grimaced, why was he wondering? Anna had said in no uncertain terms they were over, so maybe he needed to accept that. But, she hadn't said she didn't like those things, just where they happened.

  Cade rolled his shoulders under the fine grey linen shirt he wore. It was hypothetical anyway. Anna wasn't his, and it seemed she never would be. He made a mental note to contact his solicitor and start the long overdue divorce proceedings. It was time he admitted defeat, let Anna go and move on. With an impatient gesture, he checked the clock and calculated there was more than enough time to have a coffee and something to eat before his meeting with Ms. Taylor. Nothing would happen today even if he did agree to tutor her. There was a lot of information to be exchanged before he made a commitment like that. Not for the first time he wondered why Daisy had decided this person was one he should consider to teach. Generally, the other Masters who worked at Serendip performed teaching and mentoring. Cade was much more of an overseer nowadays.

  He pulled a box of sushi out of the fridge and smiled as he remembered the last time he'd bought sushi, and not eaten it. He didn't think Daisy was going to forget that in a hurry.

  Two hours later, he'd put on his other hat, the one few people knew about, and was concentrating on a proposal for new affordable homes to be built in an inner city housing scheme. Caden had backed schemes like that for many years. He'd reasoned that he had more than enough money to live on, so why not help other people to improve their lives. His concentration was so absolute that the buzzer from his phone made him jump and type a jumble of letters over his proposal. He wrenched his thoughts back to the here and now to lift the receiver and hear the deep voice of Stefan, Daisy's second in command, announcing Ms. Taylor was waiting for him.