Lost in the Beat

by Gracen Miller

  “Let’s make it interesting,” Fang upped the ante. “When a guy wins, girls drink a shot of liquor. Don’t care what, whisky, tequila, vodka, rum, whatever your preferred poison is. Girls win a hand, we do the same.”

  Jase glanced at Fallon. She didn’t even blink at that request. Peculiar considering his girl didn’t drink spirits.

  “That’s not fair,” Nessa popped off. “There’s four of y’all and only three of us. Statistically speaking a guy should win more with those odds.”

  “Now look who’s whining, the one with the vajayjay,” Keys taunted, but Jase could see the fire blazing in his eyes. “Scared of getting dick whipped, sweetheart?”

  “Bring it, silver spoon,” Nessa taunted, but her eyes sparkled at Keys. Jase suspected she returned Keys’ attraction, but neither was acting upon it.

  “You trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me, pookie?” Sam teased Fang, adding in the one nickname he’d told her to never call him.

  “Yes.” Fang curled his arms around her and murmured something in her ear that the rest of room couldn’t hear. Jase was sure he didn’t want to hear whatever his buddy said.

  “I’ll bow out, so it’s a fair game,” Derr volunteered. “I can be the dealer.”

  “Nah….” Fallon strolled toward the pool table. “Keep your handicap, it’s not going to make a difference.”

  Derr, Keys, and Fang busted their guts laughing at that obvious challenge.

  Sam said in a stage whisper, “I’m really not all that good at poker, Fallon.”

  The glint in Fallon’s eyes put Jase on high alert. His girl was up to something. “You know something we don’t know, darlin’?”

  “Yeah, you boys are going to lose.” Fallon’s smack talking inspired a girly set of high-fives.

  An hour later Fang threw his cards on the table with a disgusted sulk. “Take her out back, Jase, and pat her down. Liberally. I think she’s hiding cards.”

  Fallon laughed, and indicated she wasn’t wearing sleeves.

  “Shit’s not normal,” Derr agreed ogling her with a suspicious gleam in his eyes.

  Jase contemplated her and the impish grin ghosting her lips. An hour into the game Fallon had won her sixth hand with a straight flush. Hands like that were rare. The more the game progressed, the better she got. She’d had two drinks to the guys’ five, and she’d won all five of those hands.

  “Fess up, darlin’, how are you doing it?” Jase tapped her foot with his under the table.

  “What’s the saying…if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen?” She held his gaze without blinking, her green eyes a little over bright. The two shots of hard tequila could be getting to her.

  “You can count cards.” Keys folded his arms over his chest.

  The room went silent as Fallon slid her focus to Keys. She didn’t even attempt to dodge his statement, but said, “Very well.”

  Derr chucked his cards at her in mock outrage as the girls squealed their approval of her underhanded tactics. In under a minute his sister and her bestie were plotting trips to Vegas. Jase rose from his seat, nabbed his fresh bottle of beer, and strode around the table to pull out Fallon’s chair.

  “Hey!” Sam protested. “We’re not finished making plans.”

  “Yeah, y’all are. You two are trouble.” He pointed at Sam and Nessa. “Fang, control your brat. I don’t want my girl on a first name basis with the law.”

  Fallon giggled and wobbled just a little when she rose.

  “Who taught you to play the game?” Hand resting low on her spine, Jase navigated her out of the game room and down the hall.

  “My dad.”

  Stick-up-his-ass-Stan? Jase was impressed. “And he called me a bad influence.”

  “Be nice. He was good today at lunch.”

  As far as she knew Stan had been pleasant, but her dad had cornered him alone once and warned Jase he was watching his every move. Like Jase gave a shit if her dad watched his every move. Have at it for all he cared, because his intentions were honorable for a change.

  “I get your dad, he’s looking out for you.” She swerved a little, and he wondered if those two shots had given her a buzz. He draped his arm around her shoulders to steady her and pulled her snug against his side, relishing the warmth of her body. “It’s not that he doesn’t approve of me taking care of you.” Most fathers sought a man that would take the best care of their daughters. “What bothers him is the idea of his baby girl getting hurt worse than she’s already been.”

  “You haven’t hurt me.” She tipped her head back and presented him with an adorable frown creasing her brow.

  Jase stopped at his bedroom door and brushed her hair off her face. “Darlin’, I knocked you up, crushed your college dreams, and your future in his eyes. That is enough hurt in his mind.”

  She leaned against the door, resting her head on the wood as she peered at him. “That’s not fair of my dad.”

  He performed a one-shoulder shrug and took a couple of swallows of his beer. “That’s life.”

  She swiped the bottle from his hand, and turned it up to her lips.

  “You tipsy, Fallon?” A non-drinker normally, she’d had two shots of tequila and now she turned up his beer.

  “I think so. My nose feels fuzzy.” She grimaced at the beverage, but despite her uncertainty of the taste she finished off the brew. Inwardly, Jase smiled, but that evaporated the moment her finger landed in the middle of his chest and slid down to hook in the band of his jeans. “If you get tipsy will you take advantage of me, Jase?”

  “Yes.” He leaned toward her, holding himself away with his hands bracketed on the door on either side of her head. “But not in the way you want.”

  Fallon’s tongue swiped across her bottom lip. “What do you think I want?”

  “Reading your body language, I’d say you want sex.”

  She palmed his nape, and went to her toes, linking their mouths. He opened to her and let her taste him, while allowing her to lead. Tipsy, she was aggressive, more demanding of her wants. Sober, she hem-hawed about her desires.

  Jase smoothed his hand into her hair, and she gasped when he tugged her head back by the silky strands. “This is one of my best Thanksgivings I’ve ever had.”

  Having Fallon and Faith here with him made it even more special.

  “I had fun too. Thanks for letting me invite my parents.”

  “They’re welcome here anytime. I mean that.” He swept her into his arms and carried her into his room.

  As he walked toward the bed, she leaned her head against his shoulder and nuzzled her face against his neck. “You smell so good.”

  “Fallon, darlin’, I’m not gonna make love to you tonight.” He placed her on her feet and looked at her. “I want you sober when I make love to you again.”

  “I’m tired of noble Jase.” She shoved her hands up his shirt copping a feel of his abs. “I want to play with dirty Jase.”

  He chuckled. “You wanna play tomorrow, I’ll show you dirty Jase. But it ain’t happening tonight.”

  Jase pulled her shirt off and slid her pants down her legs. He placed a kiss against the inside of her knee when she lifted her leg for him to remove her jeans.

  Fallon shoved her fingers in his hair, dragging her nails across his scalp. Delightful tremors of goose bumps spread across his body. “I’m not drunk, Jase.”

  “You’re feeling the liquor, that’s all that matters.” Once her jeans were removed, he slid her panties down her legs. “Wanna know what I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving?” Getting his mind off something other than the sweet pussy he could taste if he leaned forward a fraction wrangled with his self-control. He won, but just barely.

  “Yeah, tell me, Jase.” Her nails raked his scalp again. His cock jerked. This honorable stuff sucked ass.

  “You. I’m thankful you came into my life, Fallon.” He had no issues kneeling before his girl and telling her how special she was to him. “I’m obligated to re
mind you I’m a fuck up and you should leave right now before I ruin you.”

  “I can’t leave. I promised to stay until Faith was one.”

  That’s what went through her mind as he opened his heart to her? Her legal promise? He wanted her to remain with him because she wanted to be with him. His gut clenched at her words. That single demand could damage their romance before it ever got a good start.

  “I’d never hold you to that promise, Fallon. Not in a million years. God help me, I couldn’t hurt you that way even if I was desperate enough to try.” He pressed his face into her belly and wrapped his arms around her. It’d take him being really fucking desperate to use that stipulation against her. “You mean too much to me to torment that way. I want you happy, not miserable.”

  Fallon ran her fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere, Jase.”

  Not yet. Those final two words hung in the air between them despite the fact they weren’t uttered.

  He pressed a kiss to her belly, longing to have seen her when she was swollen with their child. Rising to his feet, he swung her into his arms again and nestled her on the bed, tucking her beneath the covers. Making quick work of his clothes while she watched, he left his garments piled on the floor with hers.

  Fallon turned to face him the moment he slid into bed next to her. Jase gave her a soft kiss and pulled her naked body flush against his frame, his palm sliding back and forth along her hip. Her breath was warm against his chest as she nuzzled closer. He thrust his knee between hers, and she wiggled a little closer before settling down with her arm draped around his waist.

  She had the softest skin, and he loved touching her. He pressed his nose to the top of her head and inhaled. She smelled good too.

  A few minutes later he felt her body go slack with sleep. What extreme measure would convince her she could trust him with her heart?

  Please don’t leave me. He felt like a pathetic fool, but he was desperate to maintain her in his life.

  A week later Fallon gave Faith a bottle, her thoughts on the one person always in her mind. Jase Collins. A couple of days ago he’d thrown Faith a surprise five-month-old birthday party, complete with party hats, noisemakers, and a cake. All the band members had attended, along with Fallon’s parents, and Sam, each of the Hot Wired guys bearing insane gifts like tricycles, a battery operated jeep, and a kitchen playhouse. Jase decked out the backyard with a swing set, promising she’d have a tree house by her first birthday. It was a classic case of excess to the –nth degree. Sam had stuck to basics like clothes. Thank goodness one of them had a practical streak.

  Faith had been more interested in gumming the party favors and squeezing Fang’s cat, Big Al, than the gifts or the hoopla. She suspected Jase had won a lot of points with her dad with that silly event.

  She’d attended the benefit concert with him the day after Thanksgiving, and he’d introduced her to other celebrities as his girlfriend. Even though she felt like a fraud, she thought she’d hid it well as his friends in the business gave her a warm welcome. Even at that event, with all the half-dressed women parading about him, he’d shown no interest in other women.

  For now.

  Gah! Why couldn’t she put a little faith in him? Why’d she keep gravitating back to his wild ways? They were past deeds, and not precursors of what was to come. Even Sam admitted sex partners weren’t hard for Jase to find while on tour or off, the situation didn’t matter. There were available women at all times. So, why’d she keeping waiting for the bottom to fall out from beneath her feet. Her mind kept going back to one question…at what point would his wandering eye move to someone else? How many of them had he already slept with before she crashed his carefree world?

  The devil on her shoulder whispered he would roam after he fucked her. She was a challenge at the moment because she refused to put out, but the moment she caved, BAM he’d be all over another. The angel on her other shoulder chastised her for giving the devil headspace. Give him a real chance, the angel prodded, and not just a half-chance. She wasn’t doing either of them any favors with her current state of mind. She’d promised to give him a chance, but was she fulfilling that vow while reluctant to give him the benefit of the doubt?

  Fallon sighed as she peered at her daughter sucking away on the bottle. She wanted to trust him, but there were so many of his exploits sensationalized for the world. He hadn’t done one thing to make her think he wasn’t trustworthy, and that was a big problem. A problem because she’d already damned him without him being guilty. And so far Jase had only proven how upstanding of a guy he was in all aspects of life.

  My distrust isn’t fair. He’d even been honorable when she’d been tipsy last week and offered herself to him.

  “Mornin’, darlin’,” Jase said when he entered the room, and she jerked a little in surprise at his sudden entry. Faith acknowledged him by releasing the nipple of her bottle and turning her head in his direction, cooing loudly. “I wasn’t ignoring you, angel.”

  He kissed Faith on the forehead, and she kept talking to him.

  “Daddy’s girl already,” Fallon teased him, but it was nothing short of the truth.

  His supercharged expression detailed how much he liked that notion. “At least one of my girls was easy to win over.” He kissed Fallon’s forehead. “I kinda enjoy the chase though.”

  “Jase, please don’t.” She turned her focus to Faith, anything to not address his comment candidly. He seized every opportunity to remind her how much he wanted her. She loved knowing he was interested, but she questioned the legitimacy of the depth of his desire.

  Lust isn’t something to build a relationship on. She reminded herself of that often enough. It was necessary not to forget because she wanted Jase Collins really bad, ached for him in a way that made little sense. She’d already given into one weak moment of passion that had resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. But no matter how hard she tried to remain indifferent, she couldn’t deny she wanted more than sex with Jase. She needed more than sex or it wasn’t a real relationship.

  Yeah, he made her feel safe and desired, but trusting herself to make the right choice about him wasn’t easy when he’d been at the center of some of her worst choices. He treated her like an equal and never resented her use of his money, even though she begrudged the need for it.

  I have got to figure out some way to make a living. Giving nothing to the family chafed her pride more than she could stomach and was always at the center of her thoughts. She couldn’t blame Jase for being a giving man. This was her problem, not his, something she had to work on internally.

  She and Jase had slipped into an easy routine over the weeks. The nights were spent sleeping in his arms, no sex, he never even tried, never pressed for it, and she wasn’t sure what to make of that. Yeah, he teased her and caressed her, was always touching her in some way, but he never pushed for more, not even a non-penetrative climax that would’ve eased both their frustrations.

  Their days were spent tending to Faith together, enjoying their daughter as a family, taking walks with her in the stroller, picnics on the lawn, playtime in the heated pool, which Faith treated like a big bathtub of fun and squealed her delight. They chatted and shared life experiences, traded opinions on religion and politics—the two things she never discussed with people. And each day he notched away a piece of her heart. She loved watching him with Faith, loved that he enjoyed spending time with her, loved that he made her a priority in his daily routine. Most of all she loved that he protected her from the paparazzi and planned for her future.

  A couple of days ago he’d handed Fallon a bank statement and informed her it was Faith’s trust fund. The figure in the account stupefied her. How much was the man worth if he could cough up that obscene amount of cash for Faith without denting his finances? He’d handed her another bankcard as she attempted to process Faith’s, and said, “Your account. Not up for discussion.”

  She’d slammed hers against his chest and responded with, “You�
��re right, it’s not up for discussion.”

  She’d walked out of the room cheering herself on because she’d managed to win this round. The next morning she discovered the bankcard to her account stuffed in her purse. She’d burst into tears, not because of his pigheadedness, but because he insisted on providing for her when she wasn’t deserving of his generosity. Fallon had no idea how to deal with his kindness, not even her family showed her that much charity.

  Many would think she lived the perfect life. She wished she felt that way. It’d make life easier. The press reminded her constantly that she was Jase’s flavor of the month, which fed her indecision and her distrust. She was the latest news, so she understood she was a hot topic. They hounded her when she was out with Sam or Jase, only Rain was able to make them back off.

  Jase cupped her chin in his palm, drawing her from her negative thoughts as he tipped her head back to meet his sapphire gaze. “What’s wrong, Fallon?”

  The man should be a woman. He could sense emotions better than most women she knew. “Just stir crazy, I guess.”

  She hadn’t been this inactive ever. Neither had she ever been in a constant state of arousal. But Jase walked into a room, and her breasts grew tight. Jase looked at her, and wetness surged from between her thighs. A smile caused pussy spasms that created an uncontrollable ache she couldn’t banish.

  Seriously, this shit can’t be normal! It was ridiculous.

  Jase took Faith from her arms. “Go shower. You’re going with me today.”

  “I don’t feel like shopping today.” Seriously, a person could only shop so much before she went cucking frazy!

  Sam had dragged her off one too many times for shopping sprees over the last week. Fallon had more clothes than ten individuals could wear. Everything from dresses, to jeans and shirts, to an obscene amount of lingerie.

  “No shopping. Promise.” He plucked the bottle from her grasp and popped the nipple into Faith’s mouth. “I’m volunteering at the pediatric cancer center today.”

  Stunned by his confession, she gaped at him. The rocker was full of surprises and nothing like the rebellious drummer the paparazzi painted him. As much as the tabloids dog him, how’d they miss this good deed?