Jayden

by Catherine Lievens

  Shad cocked his head. “Take him with you.”

  “In my bed?” Jayden squeaked.

  Shad laughed, and Heath liked the sound of it. It was a happy sound. “Yeah. You don’t have to do anything, Jay. Just have him shower quickly, give him a pair of sweats and a T-shirt and go to sleep.” Shad softened his voice. “I think he needs to be close to you. He doesn’t know where he is, or even who he is, but he knows who you are. You’re his mate, and his bear knows that. You’re reassuring, like home. Don’t push him away.”

  Heath knew he should’ve been offended by them talking as if he wasn’t even there, but he was too tired and sore to care. Besides, it sounded like they cared, and he needed that. He had no one else but the men he’d met tonight, not until he remembered. And he prayed he would.

  Jayden nodded his head and offered Heath his hand. Heath smiled and took it, letting his mate help him to stand up. He stumbled because his feet were still wrapped in the blanket wrapped around his legs, but Jayden was there to catch him.

  Jayden gently freed Heath’s legs and handed the blankets to Shad, who bundled them and left them on the chair Heath had been sitting on. Jayden led Heath upstairs, not saying anything about how slowly they were going.

  Jayden stopped on the first floor and Heath followed his lead. Jayden smiled at Shad before tugging Heath along the hallway, and Heath followed until they reached a closed door. Jayden paused, then put his hand on the handle and pushed it down.

  * * * *

  Jayden was doing his best not to show Heath just how nervous he was. His mate had already more than enough problems without Jayden adding his own to it. Besides, having his mate sleeping in his room—in his bed—could hardly be called a problem.

  Jayden closed the door and folded his hands together behind his back, then leaned back against the door. “So, uh, the bathroom is that door on your right. The towels are in the cupboard under the sink. I know it’s small, and the room too, but I’ve been living here on my own until now, so I didn’t need anything bigger. Not that I need it now, I mean, we haven’t talked yet, so I’m not saying you have to come live with me. Unless you want to, of course. Then you can. I’d be more than happy to have you live with me, even if it means we’ll have to move into another room. If you want to. Or we can stay here. Whatever you want.”

  Jayden clamped his lips together when he realized just how fast and how much he was talking. He looked at Heath, still in Dominic’s jacket, his feet cherry red and dirty, his hair tangled around his face and streaks of dirt on his skin. Jayden’s heart tightened, and he wasn’t sure whether it was because his mate was in front of him or for the state Heath was in.

  Jayden wanted to reach out and help him, but he didn’t know Heath. How would he react if Jayden did? Would he let him, like every friend Jayden now had would, or would he lash out and take his anger out on him?

  “I... don’t know yet.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. I guess I should warn you that I talk a lot when I’m nervous. Or when I’m excited. And when I’m confused.” He chuckled. “I guess I always talk a lot, really, but you can tell me to shut up. I will. But really, you should just start getting used to interrupting me. I know it might look rude, but with me, it’s not. Not that I’m saying you’re going to stay here with me. You can go home. Well, if you remember where it is.”

  “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

  Jayden looked down at the carpet. Of course he was already getting on Heath’s nerves. He knew most people in the pride found him ridiculous, and they always interrupted him before he could go on a tangent, or several of them, like he’d just done. Heath would learn to do that to. And in the meantime, Jayden would try his hardest to keep his mouth shut.

  “Yes. Do you need help?”

  Jayden curbed his need to fill the silence and to say whatever passed in his mind and waited for Heath to answer.

  “Can you show me where things are?”

  “Of course.”

  Jayden pushed away from the door and opened the bathroom door. He flipped the light on and glanced around, happy he’d remembered to do the laundry the day before. There were no dirty socks in plain view, no wet towels.

  He opened the cupboard under the sink and took out two fluffy towels, then put them on the counter. He opened the shower stall and pointed at the products he used. “Shampoo and soap. I’m afraid I don’t have anything different, but we can go buy stuff tomorrow. We’ll go anyway, because you’re going to need clothes and other stuff, but in the meantime...”

  “This is fine. More than fine. I feel disgusting.”

  Jayden gazed at Heath. “You’re not.” At his mate’s incredulous glance, he quickly corrected himself. “Okay, maybe a bit, but it’s nothing a shower and a good haircut can’t solve. Although you’ll have to wait for the haircut, I guess. Do you need help?”

  Heath slowly walked inside the bathroom and Jayden plastered his back against the wall. The room wasn’t big to start with, and with the two of them inside together... Heath was close enough that Jayden could touch him only by raising his hand, and God, how he wanted to.

  He had no idea how to behave. He usually didn’t, which was why he was more comfortable with books, but Heath was his mate, and Jayden wanted them to be together if they could. If Heath wanted to.

  “I don’t know. Don’t you think it’s still a little early in our relationship for you to see me naked?”

  Jayden gaped, but it would take a lot more to render him speechless. “I’ve already seen you naked, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you again. Or I could go back to the bedroom.”

  Heath cracked a smile and Jayden felt insanely proud of having done that. “I think I’ll be able to shower on my own, but thanks for the offer.”

  Jayden nodded at his mate and stepped out. He had to pass by Heath to do it, putting them a lot closer than Jayden was comfortable with at the moment. His jacket caught on Heath’s—or rather, Dominic’s—but Jayden was out of the bathroom a few seconds later. Heath smiled at him and closed the door, and Jayden was alone again.

  His brain went on overload. Thousands of questions swirled in his mind. What was Heath going to wear? Would he allow Jayden to lend him some clothes? They’d be too small, but Jayden didn’t think Heath would want to sleep naked. Would he shave? Or would he wait until the next day? What would Dominic say when Jayden went to talk to him? Would he allow Heath to stay in Whitedell? What would Jayden do if he didn’t? Would he go with Heath? Would Heath even want Jayden to go with him, wherever he’d go?

  Jayden shook himself when he heard the shower turning on. He shrugged his jacket off and put it in the closet, then dug in his clothes to find the ones that were longest on him. He didn’t know how tall Heath was, but it definitely was more than Jayden’s five foot five height. Luckily for him, not everyone got Jayden’s size right when they bought him presents, so he did have stuff that didn’t fit him, that was too long.

  He managed to find a pair of pajama bottoms that were way too long for him and a T-shirt that might be a bit tight on Heath, but it was better than nothing.

  Since the shower was still on, Jayden quickly changed in his own pajamas but paused in front of the mirror. Should he change? The pajamas he was wearing were a gift from Nysys, and they were very... festive. They were striped in red, white and green, and every stripe had different designs on it—reindeers, snowman, trees. Name it and it was there. The cuffs, both of the bottom half and of the top one, were red, as was the collar.

  Jayden knew it was probably ridiculous on a grown man, but it was a gift, and he’d always slept alone in his bed. But maybe Heath wouldn’t like it. Maybe he should wear something else, something more seductive.

  “That’s... a nice pajama set.”

  Jayden flushed. Too late. He slowly turned around, his eyes going round at the sight of Heath wearing only a towel around his hips. His hair was dripping on his shoulders, the drops of water sliding down his chest.
And what a chest it was.

  Jayden wondered if the fact that Heath pushed all his buttons when it came to physical aspect was due to the fact that they were mates, but then who cared? He just knew Heath was incredibly gorgeous and that he wanted to lick a stripe up his chest.

  “It was a gift. I can change.”

  “Don’t. I like it.”

  Jayden looked down at himself, then up again. “Really?”

  “It’s a bit... much, but it looks comfy.”

  Jayden beamed. “It is. Oh, I found you some clothes. I hope they’re okay.” He handed them to Heath and they stood there, facing each other. The silence was heavy on Jayden and he opened his mouth to talk, but Heath winked. Jayden gaped and Heath took the opportunity to drop the towel and quickly pull the clothes on.

  Jayden averted his eyes only because he wasn’t sure whether Heath would welcome him looking. He’d been the one to get naked, sure, but it didn’t mean he wanted Jayden to stare. Jayden played with the seam on his pajama top until Heath cleared his throat.

  “I’m exhausted.”

  “Do you want to just go to sleep, or to eat something before? I could run down to the kitchen and grab you something, or maybe—”

  “Sleep. I really need to sleep.”

  Jayden nodded and pushed the blankets down. He slipped in the bed and stayed on the edge of the mattress. He watched as Heath followed his lead and buried himself under the blankets, then he turned the light off.

  There was movement on Heath’s side, then a hand wrapped around his arm and pulled him toward the middle of the bed. His chest hit a warm back and he gasped. “Do you want me to...”

  “Just hug me, Jayden.”

  Jayden felt a big awkward at being the big spoon, but Heath clearly needed it, so he didn’t protest. He wrapped his arm around his mate’s waist and hugged him close. That was how they fell asleep.

  * * * *

  Everything was confusing. There was a man, a big one with dark hair. A woman, looking too small to be with the big man, but the love they had for each other was obvious in their eyes. Sounds of children laughing and playing. The smell of something cooking.

  Someone groaned next to Heath and he opened his eyes. He was looking up at a white ceiling, light streaming from the window on his left. The groan had come from that direction, so he turned his head. The sight of his mate’s face was enough for him to remember.

  Not to remember everything, no. He still had no clue who he was or where he came from. But he did remember finding Jayden in the snow a few weeks before, Jayden meeting him almost every night, and what had happened the night before, how the tall man had forced Heath to shift when he didn’t want to.

  Jayden groaned again and buried deeper against Heath’s side. They’d moved since they’d gone to sleep, and now Heath was on his back, an arm slung around Jayden, hugging him close. Jayden’s head rested on Heath’s chest as if it were the most normal thing in the world. It felt right, and it was the only thing that did at the moment.

  Heath looked around the room. The bed took most of the space, and the full bookshelves took what remained of it. There were two doors bedsides the door to the hallway, one leading to the bathroom Heath had used the night before, one probably opening on the closet. A chair stood between them, more books pilled on it.

  There were a few pictures on the wall, but Heath couldn’t see much of them, only that there were people in them. He thought he recognized Jayden in a few of them, but he was different than he was now. He had long hair in the pictures, and he looked smaller. Not necessarily younger just... smaller.

  Heath looked back down at Jayden. He knew a lot of things about his mate, things Jayden had told him when he’d visited in the woods. He knew Jayden was young, barely twenty, and that he’d spent some time in a lab. He knew his mate had been hurt, but he was fine now.

  Jayden’s cheeks were rosy from sleep and he was smiling. He looked peaceful, and Heath wished he could follow his mate’s example and sleep, but now that he was awake, his mind churned with questions.

  He frowned and closed his eyes, then concentrated on the things he’d seen before, while he was sleeping. The man looked familiar, as did the woman, but Heath couldn’t place where he’d seen them. The rest... it really was just a bunch of sensations, and it wasn’t helpful. What good was remembering that stuff if it didn’t help Heath find out more about himself?

  He punched the mattress next to his hip and swore, and Jayden jerked awake. “What? Where?”

  “Sorry.”

  Jayden blinked and scrubbed his eyes. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  “Nothing. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  Jayden’s eyes widened and he scrambled backward. Heath opened his mouth to warn him, but it was too late—Jayden toppled off the bed and disappeared from sight. Heath laughed, mind away from his problems for now.

  “What happened?”

  Jayden’s head appeared at the edge of the mattress. He was blushing like crazy, so much that even his ears were red. Heath had noticed how pretty Jayden was before, but now, in the daylight, it was so much more obvious.

  Jayden’s white blond hair gleamed in the sunlight, almost like a halo. His blue eyes were still huge and framed by dark lashes that looked almost out of place on Jayden’s otherwise pale face.

  “Uh, I’d forgotten you were sleeping with me. I’m not used to sleeping with someone, I mean, to really sleep. I’m not talking about sex, of course. Because I’m used to that. Wait, that made me sound like a slut. Not that I never have sex, but it doesn’t happen that often, really. Only sometimes. And maybe I shouldn’t have told you, since you’re my mate. I don’t want to make you jealous.”

  Heath raised his hands. “I’m not, not yet anyway. Maybe, if I let myself think about it, but not right now. I’m pretty sure I’m not a virgin either, although I can’t be sure.”

  Jayden scrambled back on the bed but kept his distance. “You still don’t remember anything?”

  Heath shook his head, frowning at the sensations of his curls hitting his forehead. He raked a hand through his hair, or at least he tried. His hand got stuck in the curls, though, and he grimaced. He needed to have his hair cut, because he wasn’t sure he’d ever manage to untangle it.

  “What month is this?”

  Heath already knew the answer to that, at least if Jayden’s pajamas were any indication of it.

  “December. Christmas is in five days.”

  “When did we meet?”

  “Uh, a few weeks ago.”

  Heath shook his head and tried to remember again. How had he ended up in these woods? What had happened to him?

  A soft hand on his made him look up. Jayden’s expression was gentle and worried. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t... I don’t know anything. My entire life is a blank sheet, and I don’t know how to fill it.”

  Jayden squeezed Heath’s hand and got up. “Come on, we’ll go see Jared.”

  Heath searched what little memories he had. “The doctor, of course.”

  “Yes. He might not be able to help with your memories, but he can at least examine you and maybe find out what caused their loss.”

  Heath looked down at himself. “I don’t have any clothes.”

  “You can wear these without problems, or I can go and see if someone has something to give you.”

  “I’ll keep these. Thank you.”

  Jayden smiled and disappeared into the bathroom. Heath slumped back in bed and closed his eyes, but the only things he remembered were his name and everything that had happened since he’d found Jayden. Even the stuff between that and whatever had happened to Heath was fuzzy. He remembered only trees and snow, the sensation of being cold and shifting. He didn’t even know why he’d stayed in his bear form when he’d met Jayden.

  The bathroom door opened again and Jayden scurried into the bedroom. “I forgot to take clothes with me. I’m not used to this,
really not used to it.”

  “Do you want to dress in here? I need to use the bathroom anyway.”

  “Oh, sure. All right.”

  Jayden was sitting on the bed when Heath came out of the bathroom. He’d tried to groom his beard as well as he could, but without a razor, it was a lost cause. He scratched at it, deciding he wasn’t used to it either. He didn’t dislike it, though, so maybe he could keep it after cutting a bit of its length.

  “Ready?” Jayden asked, and Heath nodded.

  He followed his mate out the door and along the hallway, then down the stairs. Jayden talked the entire time, about the pride and its members, about the weather, and even about the carpet. They passed the arch standing between the two parallel flights of stairs and Jayden led Heath along another hallway. He opened one of the doors and entered, and Heath followed him.

  He looked around. The room had a definite hospital feel to it. There were two rows of five beds, all of them with white sheets. The walls were hidden by cabinets, at least where they weren’t covered by medical posters. Three doors opened on the infirmary, two were closed, and one opened.

  “Jared?” Jayden called out, and the sound of a chair dragging on the floor came from the open door.

  “Jayden? Everything okay?”

  A man came out. He was wearing a white coat and was frowning. “Is something wrong?”

  “Dominic hasn’t talked to you yet?”

  “No. What should he have told me?”

  Jayden gestured toward Heath. “This is Heath. He’s a bear shifter and my mate. He also can’t remember anything past a few weeks ago.”

  Chapter Two

  Jayden watched as Jared did test after test. He also asked a lot of questions, but Heath couldn’t answer most of them.

  “Do you have siblings?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What’s the first thing you remember?”

  “The forest. Snow. Jayden.”

  Jayden blushed and didn’t look up from the book he was pretending to read.