“Yup. We were lucky the house is really big, and we decided to divide it rather than have one of us living somewhere else. That way we can stay out of each other’s way, but we both live on site. The downstairs is for both of us, though, and we usually take turns at cooking and cleaning.”
“How many rooms does my side have?”
“Two, just like mine. It also has two bathrooms and a small living room, although I guess you could convert it to a bedroom if you need it.” He looked at Heath curiously and Heath decided to tell him about Teddy. He’d find out soon anyway.
“Jayden’s brother lives with us, so he’ll need a room.”
“Oh. How old is he?”
“Teddy’s fourteen,” Jayden answered. “He just moved in with us, really, but he has nowhere else to go, so he has to come here with us if we move. If Heath decides to come back, rather, since he didn’t really move out, I guess. All his stuff is still here.”
Lucas hooked his thumbs in his belt hoops and rocked backward. “I don’t have any problems with him coming here.”
They stood there a bit awkwardly until Jayden asked, “So, can we go in? Heath needs to grab some clothes, and I’m curious to see his house.”
“Sure, go ahead. I go in only when I’m invited.”
Heath’s hand shook a bit when he pushed the handle down and opened the door. He stepped in and looked around, wondering what he would find, but what he walked into was a normal hallway. The walls were a pale yellow and the floor a dark parquet. The three windows had white curtains and Heath peeked behind one. The sight was from the back of the house, and he could see part of the paddock if he looked to his left.
“I’m going to go back downstairs. I have some stuff to do, but feel free to come down when you’re done here. It’s your house too, so just do whatever you want. If I’m not in the kitchen, try the living room, or the stables.”
Heath heard Lucas walk down the steps and finally walked into the hallway. Jayden followed him and closed the door behind himself, and Heath opened the first door. It was a small living room, just like Lucas had said. It contained only a few pieces of furniture—a couch, an armchair and a TV. The most noticeable features of the room were the bookshelves, though. They covered almost every inch of the walls, except for the window and a few other spots, and they were full.
Heath wondered if he was as much a reader as Jayden, but his mate was already squealing and hurrying to the closest shelf and examining the books on it. “Oh, I have this one too! And this one. This one I don’t have, this one either, and look! I’ve wanted this one for ages!”
Heath chuckled and shook his head. He looked at some of the books, but it was the pictures on the walls that called to him. He recognized his parents in them, and guessed the two boys and the girl were his siblings. There were other pictures in which he recognized only Lucas, and some landscapes. He looked at one of a tropical beach and wondered if he’d been there, wherever there was.
“We’ll go back,” Jayden said from behind him.
“Back where?”
“To that place you’re looking at. If you can’t remember, we’ll go back and create new memories.”
Emotion gripped at Heath’s throat and he grabbed Jayden’s waist, pulling him against his chest and hugging him tight. “Thank you.”
Jayden hugged him back. “That and so much more for you, mate.”
Heath smiled against Jayden’s hair. “I like you calling me that. We still have to talk about it, but...”
“Whenever you want.”
“We can when we get home tonight.”
“I meant we can mate whenever you want, Heath.”
Heath gently pushed Jayden away, just enough to be able to tilt his head with a finger and look in his eyes. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Not that I’m protesting, but don’t you want to wait, to get to know me?”
“Nope. I’m not saying this to hurt you, Heath, but you don’t even know yourself, and it could take years before you do. I don’t want to wait all that time, but most of all, I want to be a part of that learning, to learn with you rather than after you.”
“I’m not protesting, Jay. But it’s been only a few days for you, and I don’t want you to regret it.”
“I won’t. I can feel it.”
Heath leaned down and kissed Jayden. It was so tempting to recline on the couch and bare his neck to Jayden, but Heath didn’t want to do it there. He knew it was his home, but Jayden’s small room in the mansion felt more like home than the ranch right now, and that was what Heath wanted for his mating.
So he ended the kiss and probed at Jayden’s ribs, smiling when his mate laughed. “Let’s go check the other rooms out, yeah?”
There was a bedroom behind the next door, and it clearly wasn’t Heath’s. The bed was made and it was clean, but there were no personal items in sight and no clothes in the closet, and the small bathroom was just as empty. It would be perfect for Teddy, and that was the only thing Heath cared about.
He hesitated before opening the last door. He knew now it opened onto his room, and he was almost scared of being confronted with a life he didn’t remember and felt didn’t even belong to him most of the time. Jayden stayed by his side, silent yet supportive, until Heath finally took a deep breath and pushed.
The door creaked a bit as it opened, and Heath didn’t know where to look first.
The bed was made and had a nice green comforter on it. There were books piled on one of the nightstands, and the drawer was a tiny bit open. On the dresser, Heath noticed more pictures and some landscape drawings, those also framed. They had to be from around the ranch, because Heath could swear he recognized a corner of the stables in one of them. He wondered if he’d been the one to draw them, and added the question to the hundreds of others he already had.
Heath felt Jayden tense beside him and looked at where he was looking, immediately cursing himself for not noticing before. He’d decided the nightstand with the books was his and hadn’t paid attention to the other one, but now that he did he could see it was used as well, and it could mean only one thing—Will.
Heath knew he and Will hadn’t been living together before his accident, but he hadn’t thought about the possibility that Will still might have spent time at the ranch. There was a book on that nightstand too with a piece of paper sticking out from between the pages, along with a bottle of water and a glass.
Heath suspected he’d find stuff that wasn’t his size in the closet, and he was wary about opening it, but Jayden seemed to read his mind and smiled. The smile was a real one, albeit a little less wide than usual. “Don’t worry about me, Heath. I already know about Will, and I never thought you’d been with him for two years without having sex.”
“You can wait in the living room, or downstairs.”
Jayden shook his head. “No. I’m not that easily hurt, really. Come on, open the closet, and start packing clothes. I’ll go to the bathroom and do the same.”
Jayden didn’t leave Heath the time to answer and opened the bathroom door. Heath shrugged and did just what his mate had asked—he opened the closet and started looking for a bag.
* * * *
Knowing Will had been there, had lived in Heath’s room, made Jayden uncomfortable, but he wasn’t about to make it known. He wanted nothing more than to pack all of the man’s stuff, but he didn’t even know what belonged to him and what belonged to Heath, and Heath couldn’t help him with it.
But Jayden still spent way too much time staring at the two razors and the twin toothbrushes on the bathroom counter. Not that Heath needed to pack either of those things, because he had both in Jayden’s room at the mansion, but it still was another detail that reminded Jayden that his mate had been with the same man for the past two years. It was something he’d rather not think about, but he knew he’d never be able to forget about it.
For what Jayden had gathered, Will was very close t
o Heath’s family, and while he didn’t like the idea of seeing the man more than he had to—and that was never—he also didn’t want to take Heath’s family away from Will. He didn’t know what Will’s story was, but he wasn’t stupid. In their world, there was a good chance Will’ family had kicked him out at some point, or that he’d lost it in another way.
The shifter world wasn’t an easy world to live in, as the stories of most the pride members demonstrated, and Jayden couldn’t bring himself to hurt a man who might have already been hurt—and certainly had, after what had happened to Heath.
Jayden took one last glance around—lingering on the huge shower stall and at the hot tub he absolutely would have to use as soon as he moved in—but he didn’t think Heath needed anything, so he left the bathroom. Heath was pushing clothes into a small suitcase, checking the tags before putting anything in it. He had a small pile of discarded clothes to his side and Jayden pointed at it. “Want me to put them back in the closet?”
“Yeah. They’re too small for me.”
So they were Will’s. Nice. “Any specific place I have to put them in?”
“I think the right side of the closet is Will’s side.” He stopped moving. “Was. Will’s side. Sorry.”
Jayden shrugged and hoped he wasn’t showing just how much it bugged him. “I told you, I’m fine.”
He still dumped the pile of clothes on the closet floor, just because he could.
“Ready to go?” he asked once he was back at Heath’s side.
Heath zipped the suitcase closed and nodded. “Yeah. I took enough stuff for a week or so.”
“You can use the mansion’s washing machines, and if we go to your parents’ for Christmas Day we can stop here and grab anything you forgot.”
They went back downstairs, Jayden barely resisting the urge to go back into Heath’s living room to look at the books again, and maybe take a few of them home.
Lucas was in the living room, dusting other bookshelves.
“Oh, that’s good. That way I won’t have to climb on a chair when I have to dust and clean,” Jayden pointed out.
Lucas grinned. “At least my height is good for something.”
“I’m sure you have plenty of guys drooling over your height. Or girls. I don’t know what you prefer, or if you want both. Or neither. Not that I care, of course, I mean, I’m gay, but it’s not really my business if you’re anything else. I think Teddy might be bi, though, or maybe pansexual. He’s still young, of course, so it might change. Wait, that didn’t come out right. Not change, just... he might realize more stuff about himself as the time passes, that’s it. Oh, and while I’m talking about Teddy, where’s the closest school? Would he have to go to Whitedell? If he does, we’ll have to check the busses, or organize ourselves to take him to school and back home every day. Damn, I hope not. I mean, sure, I work from home, but still, I really don’t want to have to stop if I don’t really have to. But I would if I needed to, of course.”
Lucas held his hands up. “I don’t even know which question I need to answer first.”
Jayden grinned. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Okay, so yeah, the closest school is in Whitedell. I don’t think the bus comes all the way here, though, but there are three of us, and we have employees and ranch hands that I’m sure won’t have any problems to go get Teddy. He’ll never stay stranded there, don’t worry.”
“And I’m sure you can ask any pride member to go and get him if the need arises,” Heath added. “They’re closer anyway, and you can have one of your Nix friends shimmer him back here.”
“As for your first question...” Lucas continued. “I don’t mind ladies, but I tend to prefer guys. That’s actually how Heath and I met.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I thought I’d noticed him eying me in the locker room and tried to talk to him. We didn’t click that way, but we became friends.”
Jayden tried to imagine Heath and Lucas together for a few moments but quickly dismissed the idea. He already had more than enough problems forgetting about Heath and Will. But he could see the appeal.
Lucas might be a lot taller than Jayden was comfortable with, but he was cute. Auburn hair cut short, warm brown eyes, glasses... yeah, he really was cute.
Jayden huffed. “Enough talking about clicking with my mate. Are you coming with us to Walden?”
“No. I have to take care of the horses.”
Jayden knew Heath was going to say something before he actually said it. He knew Heath felt guilty about not being able to do his part of the job, and the fact that it wasn’t his fault didn’t seem to matter. So he held a hand up and shut his mate up before he could start saying how sorry he was.
“You can come and help Lucas later if you want to, or maybe tomorrow. Right now, we have other stuff to do, and I want to get this over with.” At Heath’s hurt gaze, Jayden specified, “Not get over your parents, Heath, but I know you want to talk to Will, and forgive me if I’m not enthusiastic about that. I know I’m your mate and everything, but it doesn’t cancel the fact that you’ve been with the man for two years and that’s he’s lived here, even if not steadily. The two toothbrushes in the bathroom weren’t exactly a happy sight for me.”
Heath rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry?”
“Not your fault, but I’ll feel better once you’ve had a real talk with him.” Was Jayden scared Heath might decide to go back with Will rather than staying with him? Yeah, to death, but he also knew Heath needed to talk to Will in order to get over the shock of their relationship. And Jayden needed it, too. He wanted Heath to clear things with Will once and for all, even though it probably wouldn’t be possible, what with Heath’s memory still missing.
“Yeah, okay.”
Lucas grinned. “I see who wears the pants in your relationship.”
Jayden scowled at him. “Yeah, both of us, although if you like to wear skirts, I don’t really care. I can see why it would be uncomfortable with horses, though, but like you said, this house is just as much ours as it is yours, so feel free to wear whatever you want inside. Just don’t flash us, and more importantly, don’t flash Teddy. I don’t think he would mind, but he’s still only fourteen.”
Lucas was gaping by the time Jayden was done. “I don’t wear skirts!”
Jayden shrugged. “Never said you did, just that I didn’t mind it. But I hope that’ll teach you to mess with me.”
Lucas raised his hands. “Yeah, sorry. I was just joking.”
Jayden gave him the sweetest smile he could muster. “I know. Just remember neither of us wear skirts, that’s all.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget that now.”
Jayden swirled around, grabbed Heath’s hand, and pulled him along as he stalked to the front door. “My job here is done. We’ll see you for Christmas.”
* * * *
Heath bounced his leg and looked at the landscape out of the car window. It was very much like what they’d seen on their way to the ranch from Whitedell, but this part of the drive made Heath even more nervous.
He’d be happy to meet his siblings, especially after his parents had talked so much about them. It did make him a bit nervous, but he was much more nervous about his conversation with Will.
Heath knew he owed it to the man, and he felt guilty as fuck for what he was doing to Will, but he couldn’t change anything. He didn’t think he would even if he could, if he was honest with himself. He liked Jayden, and Jayden was his mate. He was convinced he’d have left Will even if he still had his memory intact. Knowing that didn’t make it easier, though.
“You okay?”
Heath looked at Jayden and smiled, albeit nervously. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. It’s nothing I haven’t done yet, right?”
“You mean to tell me it’s not the first time you lost your memory, found your mate, and had to break up with a boyfriend you didn’t know you had?”
“I meant that I already met
people I should’ve recognized and haven’t, but thanks for reminding me just how fucked-up my situation is.”
“Oops. I didn’t mean to, sorry. I think you should get used to me putting my foot in my mouth more often than not. It’ll save you from being angry with me, because I really don’t mean to. Most of the time anyway. Or you could decide to get back with Will, of course.”
Heath groaned and leaned his temple against the cold glass of the window. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that, and I have no idea how you extrapolated it from my words. I don’t want to get back with Will, I swear. And I know you tend to... well, your mouth sometimes has a mind of its own. I’m just really nervous about seeing my siblings and people I should know but don’t. And I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever remember them or not, and how they’re going to react, and if they’re going to be angry with me. What if they don’t want to talk to me? What if—”
Jayden squeezed Heath’s hand and Heath took a deep breath. “Thanks. Sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I can’t imagine what it feels like, but you’ll always have me. Even if your siblings decide they don’t want you for something that wasn’t your fault and that you can’t do anything to change. But I don’t think they will. I don’t know them, but I’ve met your parents. I don’t think your siblings could be that different from them.”
Heath noticed a sign for Walden as they passed and bounced his leg again. “You’re right.”
Jayden smirked. “Of course I am.”
They stayed silent for the rest of the ride. Jayden checked the map on his phone a few times, and soon they were parking in front of an apartment building. It wasn’t big, just three floors, but it was very pretty. Whoever had decorated it had gone all out, and garlands were wrapped around doors, windows, and balcony railings. Heath could even see a tree through one of the ground floor windows, its lights blinking merrily.
He looked at Jayden and swallowed, then gathered his courage and exited the car. He straightened his back and made his way to the glass door, Jayden following closely behind him. He pressed the bell beside where he recognized his parents’ name. There was crackling sound and his mother’s voice asked, “Yes?”
Jayden Page 9
