Little Amish Lizzie

by Linda Byler

  Elsie said, “I’m so glad you came to church. Are you going to stay for supper and the singing?”

  Emma joined them with her covering put neatly on her head. Little girls wore coverings just like their mothers did to go to church. Lizzie thought Emma looked really pretty, with her neat dark hair combed back in sleek rolls.

  “Elsie, I think we’re going to stay for the singing,” Emma said.

  “Are you?” Elsie smiled at Emma.

  “I think so.”

  “I hope!” Elsie said.

  Mam bustled over with Lizzie’s covering. “Here, Lizzie.” She held her chin, smoothed back her hair, and took the straight pins out of the covering. She held them between her lips as she put Lizzie’s covering on her head. That always made Lizzie nervous. She wished Mam wouldn’t do that, because suppose she swallowed them? She would have to go to the hospital and have an operation to get those pins out—Lizzie just knew it. So she watched Mam’s mouth anxiously until the last pin was put in her covering.

  Mandy was next, and Mam put those pins in her mouth, too. She didn’t swallow them, either, and Lizzie sighed with relief.

  Mam herded them all into the warm kitchen where the women were gathered. It was noisy with different conversations, as they talked about everyday occurrences.

  Everything in the kitchen was sparkling clean. Grandma Glick was a hard worker, and her house was always clean, but when church was there it sparkled. The black gas stove was so shiny, Lizzie could see her reflection in the oven door. The stainless steel teakettle shone from being polished. The blue kitchen floor had little dark blue specks in it, and caught the sun’s reflection with a fresh coat of wax.

  Loaves of homemade bread in plastic bags were lined up on the counter. There were stacks of dishes on the countertop beside the big white refrigerator. Those were to put the pickles, red beets, cheese, and bologna on, Lizzie thought. Stacks of tablecloths and tea towels were all ready beside the dishes. Lizzie wondered where the snitz pies were. Snitz pies are dried apple pies, and they always had them in church.

  Grandma Glick shook Lizzie’s hand warmly, and next Emma’s and Mandy’s. “So glad you could come today,” she smiled at Mam. “How is Jason doing now?”

  “Oh, he’s a lot better. I still think he simply had a touch of colic. It didn’t matter what we tried, he just got those spells that he screamed because his little stomach hurt, I think.”

  “Yes,” Grandma wisely nodded her head. “I know how that can be. With Marvin, he just kind of had to outgrow it.”

  She turned and stood at attention as the door opened and the ministers entered. Grandpa Glick was the first one because he was the oldest and also because he lived here. They all shook hands solemnly, and the women did not talk so much when the ministers came to shake hands.

  Lizzie and Emma smiled up at Grandpa. He smiled down at them and squeezed their hands warmly. He didn’t say anything because this was church. Maybe later in the afternoon he would.

  After the ministers were seated in the big living room, Grandma showed the ministers’ wives where to sit. There was plenty of room for everyone, because most of the furniture had been taken out of the house, or moved into the bedroom. Long wooden benches were set in rows the evening before, and that is where everyone sat. First the men filed in with their little boys. Sometimes daughters sat with their fathers, and today Lizzie knew she would have to, because Emma would sit with Mam and Jason in the kitchen with the other relatives. Lizzie didn’t really want to because she was seven now. But she knew Mandy was more well-behaved with Dat, so when they saw Dat come in, Lizzie took Mandy’s hand and walked over to him. He took her hand, and they found a seat on a bench along the wall.

  There was a strange-looking man sitting beside Lizzie, and he had two strange-looking boys. His hair was very long and very black, as was his beard. His eyebrows were long and bushy, with piercing blue eyes underneath, and he looked a bit scary to Lizzie. When he coughed, Lizzie almost jumped off the bench. It was a loud, raspy sound that didn’t sound like Dat’s cough. His boys were wriggling around on the bench, trying to take their coats off. He didn’t help them, and Lizzie guessed he was mean to them. She looked at Dat for reassurance, but he was talking quietly with Uncle James.

  Lizzie moved as close to Dat as she could and put one hand under Dat’s arm. He felt her touch, and looked down at her and smiled. Lizzie felt a bit better, but she kept casting glances at the strange man. He looked like a man in a war book that Lizzie had seen once.

  Someone picked a song, saying the number in German. Dat found the page and soon the room was filled with the sound of the slow German singing. Usually Lizzie enjoyed that, but for some reason, she felt like crying today. She had a lump in her throat, and a wave of genuine sadness washed over her. She blinked and tried to think happy thoughts, or at least something funny. She thought about the afternoon, when church was over, and they could play with Marvin, but that didn’t make her feel better at all.

  She felt the man beside her move quickly. Lizzie saw him reach over and pinch one of his little boys as hard as he could. He twisted the boy’s arm, talking to him quite sternly. The little boy opened his mouth and let out a crying howl of pain and surprise.

  Lizzie blinked and put her hand under Dat’s arm. Dat looked over at the howling little boy, but looked away again to be polite. Lizzie sat and looked straight ahead, trying not to watch him cry. His father did not try to comfort him or make him feel better. He was singing loudly as his little boy wailed beside him.

  Lizzie had the blues. She was so afraid of that strange man, and Dat was singing as if nothing was wrong at all. She felt more and more dejected, even if she knew she was much too old to cry in church.

  Her nose started to run, so she got out her little flowered handkerchief and carefully wiped her nose. Even before tears formed, a sob tore at her throat. Dat looked down at Lizzie. He put his arm around her, bent low, and whispered, “What’s wrong, Lizzie?”

  With Dat’s kindness, her blues dissolved into tears, and she sobbed quietly. She hid her face in Dat’s “mutsa,” or suit coat, and cried. He patted her shoulder, and asked her again why she was crying. Lizzie couldn’t tell him, because maybe it was just herself, and she was acting like a baby. But she really did not like that black-haired man and his little boy.

  So Dat just kept his arm around her and let her cry quietly.

  Lizzie felt a bit better after she was finished crying, so Dat let her put her head on his leg, and she relaxed. She thought of snitz pie and cheese bread and wished it was time for church to be over. She was thinking of people who put peanut butter spread on their bread, then cheese on top, and wondered why. When she fell asleep, she dreamed she was eating peanut butter bread and bologna, and the black-haired man took it from her and dipped it in his coffee.

  · · · · ·

  Church services were over and Lizzie, Emma, and Elsie were watching Jason while their mothers hurried back and forth, getting the long table ready, with tablecloths and dishes.

  They spread the table with dried apple pies, cheese and bologna, dark green pickles, and pungent red beets. Shimmering grape jelly and homemade butter made the table look pretty. There was also a peanut butter spread made with molasses, marshmallow creme, and—of course—peanut butter.

  The men and their little boys sat at one table, and the women and small girls sat at another. They all bowed their heads in silent prayer, and Lizzie, Elsie, and Emma had to hold perfectly still, too, even if they were not at the table. Lizzie never liked to do that, because if you were eating, you didn’t know if you should chew quietly or just hold the food in your mouth and hold it very still. That was not easy to do, because you needed to chew food if it was in your mouth. That is just the way a mouth is, Lizzie thought.

  After lunch Elsie told Emma that she was going to get Baby Eva, Aunt Sarah’s baby girl. Emma could have Jason, and they would go upstairs to the aunts’ bedrooms and play church with their babies.

&nb
sp; Lizzie was hurt. “Well, who am I going to have? You both have a baby and I don’t even have one,” she pouted.

  “You are almost too little, Lizzie,” Elsie said kindly.

  “You don’t like babies very much, anyway. You know you don’t,” Emma added.

  “I do.”

  “No, you don’t, Lizzie. You say they always scratch your face. Besides, you can’t carry a real baby up the stairs,” Emma said, bossily.

  “I can, too!” Lizzie shouted.

  “Shhh! Not so loud,” Emma hushed Lizzie.

  “You always think you’re the boss, Emma. I’m not going to play if I can’t have a baby!” Lizzie yelled louder.

  Marvin came hurrying over. “What is wrong?” he asked, looking closely at Lizzie’s flushed face.

  “We want to play church,” Elsie sighed, “and Lizzie thinks she has to have her own baby or she won’t play.”

  “I’ll help,” Marvin said. “I’ll be the preacher, Lizzie, and you can be Elsie’s child.” He bent down closely and peered at Lizzie. “Okay?”

  “No. That would look too dumb. I’m almost as big as Elsie. I don’t want to be a child, anyway. I want to be a mother,” Lizzie said firmly.

  Marvin looked puzzled. Emma sighed and shifted Jason more comfortably on her lap.

  Elsie said helplessly, “Well, I don’t know what to do.”

  They all sat down and thought.

  “I know!” Marvin jumped up. “Lizzie could be the preacher’s wife. Then we’d be way too old to have a baby. I’d be an old doddy preacher and she could be the mommy.”

  Lizzie grinned. That sounded like fun, she and Marvin being an old couple, and she would have to sit way up front close to Marvin while he preached.

  So they all agreed, and Marvin set the small benches, where they assembled themselves in solemn order. Emma played quietly with Jason while they sang. It didn’t sound exactly right, but it sounded close to what they heard in church. Lizzie sat up straight and sang as loud as she could, until Elsie glanced at her with a questioning look. At the same time, Emma poked her hard in the side of her apron, and pricked her finger on a pin.

  “Ouch!” she cried.

  They all fell into a helpless fit of giggles, and the only person singing was Marvin. He turned around to glare at them in exasperation. “Now, I mean it, you have to play right. This is not fun if you don’t act real!”

  The girls were still laughing, with Baby Jason laughing along with them.

  “Oh, don’t be so strict, Marvin,” Elsie said after she caught her breath.

  Lizzie felt sorry for Marvin, so she told everyone to act more real, because, after all, Marvin was the preacher. So when Marvin stood up and cleared his throat, tugging at his black vest, the girls sat up and listened, a very serious expression on their upturned faces.

  Marvin preached loud and long. Emma got her wrinkled little handkerchief and wiped her eyes, sniffing with emotion.

  Lizzie thought Marvin actually was a good preacher. He said lots of serious things that real preachers said, except he didn’t say very many big German words like a real preacher did. That was alright, because Lizzie didn’t understand them anyway.

  · · · · ·

  Later that evening, when the youth came to sing, Lizzie was getting really tired. They had all played together, and there was so much good food to eat, that Lizzie’s eyes were getting heavy while they waited for the youth to start the singing.

  Just when she thought she would have to give up and tell Mam she wanted to lie on Grandma’s bed, the buggies started coming in the drive.

  When the kettle house door opened and Rachel was the first girl to enter the kitchen, Lizzie’s heart skipped a beat. There was Rachel! Lizzie wanted to run over and hug her and hold her hand, but there were too many other girls with her. She was too shy. So she sat on her chair and watched her beloved Rachel shake hands with all the people in the kitchen.

  When Rachel came to Emma and Lizzie, she swooped them up in a warm hug. Lizzie hugged her back and smiled happily; it felt so good to be with Rachel again. “Hi, Rachel!” was all Lizzie could think to say.

  “Hello, girls—it’s so good to see you again. I thought you would probably be here tonight,” Rachel beamed. She had to move on so that the other girls could take their place at the table.

  They all started singing German songs from a songbook. The boys soon followed, and the volume increased as the boys joined in. Lizzie, Elsie, and Emma sat side by side, watching very closely how everyone looked, and listening to the wonderful singing. Lizzie liked it better than the church songs, because the tunes were faster. On some songs, Lizzie felt like tapping her feet in time to the music. She didn’t, though, because that would not have been proper. She wished she could, though.

  On their way home, late in the evening, Lizzie, Emma, and Mandy were snuggled cozily under a woolen blanket in the dark, rumbling buggy. Under the seat was the leftover chocolate cake, a bowl of tapioca pudding, and two snitz pies that Grandma Glick had sent along home.

  Dat and Mam were discussing the day’s events, and Lizzie wondered which one was Rachel’s boyfriend, then she fell sound asleep on Emma’s shoulder.

  chapter 17

  Summertime

  School was over! Emma and Lizzie came home on the last day of school with their report cards that said they were promoted to second grade. The only reason they knew what it said was because Lavina Lapp told them it meant they had passed.

  Dat and Mam praised the girls for having made it through first grade. Dat said they must have worked hard, but Lizzie didn’t really know why he said that, because school was not hard. She could read lots of other books besides her reading book at school, and she spelled third grade spelling words. So she supposed Dat didn’t know that, and she didn’t tell him.

  The days were getting warmer, and they were allowed to go barefoot. Dat opened the windows in the harness shop, and the warm, sweet summer air blew through them, giving the shop a new fragrance. He was always busy, waiting on customers or sewing at the big sewing machine, whistling or singing as he worked.

  Lizzie loved to feel the smooth, oily feeling of the warm brown wooden floor on her feet. She swept the shop with a big bristly broom that you pushed, but she was too small to do a very good job. So she just stayed with Dat, asking questions or listening to him talk with customers who came to order harnesses or buy a pair of shoes.

  When Emma came running down the stairs, shouting for Lizzie, she just knew she had something bossy to say. And sure enough, Emma told Lizzie loudly that as soon as Mam was done washing, they had to help mow the yard, trim around the flower beds, and make new flower beds today.

  Lizzie didn’t feel like working in the yard. Emma just upset her, always spoiling a perfect day, telling her what she had to do. So she didn’t turn around. She acted as if she didn’t hear Emma, just keeping her back turned.

  “Lizzie!” Emma was upset; Lizzie could tell by how loud she was. Good for her; she could go mow the yard with Mam and she’d stay here with Dat.

  “Lizzie!” Emma yelled louder.

  Dat stopped his sewing machine and looked at the girls. He did not look very happy when he turned Lizzie around. “Lizzie, answer your sister when she calls you,” he said firmly. Lizzie looked at the floor, pushing a piece of black leather with one toe.

  “Dat, you have to make Lizzie listen to me. She’s just mad because she has to work. I already swept the floor for Mam and she didn’t do a thing,” Emma snorted.

  “Lizzie, now go on, and don’t be so stubborn,” Dat said, giving her a shove. He looked frustrated, and turned back to his sewing machine.

  “I don’t want to, and I’m not …” Lizzie retorted.

  Dat got up very suddenly and loomed over Lizzie. “Don’t say it, Lizzie, or I’m going to have to find my paddle. You go right now and be nice. I’m busy here and Mam needs you to help her. Now go.”

  Lizzie burst into howls of rage and disappointment. First of all, Emma
was bossy, and now Dat was on Emma’s side and was being so unkind. So she wailed her way out the door and plopped down hard on the porch step, refusing to budge, amid loud howls of self-pity.

  “Lizzie, if you don’t shut up right this minute—oh!” Emma stood helplessly, and when she couldn’t take Lizzie’s crying one more second, she stomped off to the little shed and found the push mower.

  Lizzie could hardly cry anymore because she was watching Emma mow. It looked like fun, and it made the lawn look nice and even in size and color. She sniffed and wiped her eyes and watched Emma some more. She watched two butterflies chase each other over Emma’s head, and a pigeon swooped down to sit on a branch of the apple tree.

  Lizzie felt bad inside. It was so nice and warm, and the sun shone with a soft yellow glow, but it didn’t help Lizzie feel better at all. She wished she could go to school. School was much more fun than this. She just knew how her whole summer would be, with Emma bossing her around. Mandy was too little to be much fun, but she guessed if Emma was going to be so grownup all the time, sweeping floors and mowing yard, Mandy would have to do. Even Dat was unkind to her today.

  Emma stopped the mower and wiped her face with the skirt of her dress. “Emma, put your dress down,” Lizzie said angrily.

  “Lizzie, you know what? You cannot keep acting this way. Mam says we can’t go to Heaven if we aren’t good girls, and you have to learn to give up. You’re old enough,” Emma said firmly.

  “How do you know?” Lizzie asked, kicking at a crack in the porch step. She pulled out a strand of hair from her bob, and yanked at it. Tears welled up in her eyes, because it hurt dreadfully. She turned away so Emma couldn’t see, and ran to the toolshed. She found Mam’s trimming shears, and hurried over to the flower bed farthest away from Emma.

  She clipped halfheartedly at the edge of the flower bed. A fat brown earthworm wriggled in the grass, and Lizzie clipped him in two pieces. It served the slimy old worm right—he had no business crawling over the grass where she was supposed to trim.