The White Raven

by Carrie D. Miller

  The street is still filled with Halloween revelers, milling around fast and furious like disorganized ants. I will them not to see us, and they ignore us completely as Jo’s body glides aloft between me and Cal. Ren has landed on my shoulder, and I feel her little body trembling.

  As we step into Jo’s home, all of the candles light with a single thought. I lay Jo upon her bed and position her arms across her chest. The irony of this repeated action is not lost on me. Sylvia sits on the side of Jo’s bed, her hand atop her mother’s. Maggie once again stands vigil at Jo’s bedside.

  I turn to Cal. “I’ll be back in a minute. I need to close up the house.” Maggie rises to follow, but I bid her to stay with Sylvia. Cal moves to embrace me, but I put my hands up. If he holds me now, I will collapse. I give him a weak smile and turn for the door.

  47

  I need not cast a spell to be ignored. No one on the noisy, crowded street pays any attention to yet another person in a witch costume, and mine is tame by comparison. I must be one of fifty on this block alone.

  Ren glides past me in silence, alighting on the gate to my yard. She seems smaller. I put my hands on either side of her wings and kiss her head. She pushes against my lips.

  I will miss the funny lady. She was a strong, good witch.

  Yes, she was. She was indeed. I cradle the bird to my breast. Are you all right?

  The pain was short and it is gone now. No pain now. She leans her body against me with an exhausted sigh.

  I carry her onto the porch, placing her on the railing. I run my hand along the length of her body. She fans out her wings in a long stretch and then ruffles her feathers with a full body shake. My fingers trace the dark stone within the charm on her breast and a jagged edge in the center gets my attention.

  I peer at it, squinting in the darkness. “Oh, no! It’s cracked.” My skin prickles with the implications of this. Jo did not make more. She had meant to but didn’t get around to it with everything else going on. She thought she’d have plenty of time.

  When the magick fades, I will be forced from you. Ren’s voice is full of sorrow.

  “No, no, no,” I mutter, covering my mouth with my hands. I cannot lose her too. I can’t.

  I do not wish to be pushed from you again.

  Taking her into my arms again, I press my lips to her head. “We’ll find a way to make another. I’m sure Jo recorded the spell.” Jo was diligent about her grimoire, but she had been so busy. I pray she documented the charm’s creation. “You are part of me and I will not lose you.”

  We stand in silence. The white raven rests in my arms, and I sway her gently. This precious creature has filled a part of my life that I had not known was empty. I know now that she is part of my Spirit, part of me. With her in my life, I am complete, whole. If I cannot recreate the magick of the amulet, if I cannot shield her from the power of my energy, she will be lost to me. Forever there but forever out of reach. I cannot bear the thought of going back to that.

  “Aven?” Cal calls from the gate, startling me. He jogs up the path. “Sylvia wanted to be alone.”

  He looks from me to the bird cradled in my arms. “What?”

  I shake my head. “Nothing. Not right now.” I give Ren a gentle squeeze and set her back on the railing. “Let’s go inside.”

  I flick on the overhead lights when we enter. Ren flies through the shattered window and lands on the top of the stairs. I gasp at the sight and a whistle comes from Cal.

  In the bright lights, the devastation is astonishing. The main room is a complete loss; display cases and shelving along the walls are nothing but splinters of wood and shards of glass. Behind where Morris’s form hovered, the wall is charred and cracks spider from the center of the blast’s impact. The stairs themselves are intact, but the railing up and along the loft was blown to bits. Thankfully, the guests were protected by my spell. I meant it to protect them from Morris. Instead, I saved them from me.

  We pick our way to the stairs, stepping over chunks of plaster and wood. Cal goes first up the stairs, pushing debris off with his foot. The buffet tables in the kitchen are overturned, with food splattered everywhere.

  “What a mess,” Cal mutters.

  I need some fresh air. I wave for him to follow me, and I take the stairs to the rooftop. As I ascend, my costume melts into a plain, black jogging suit.

  The rooftop is untouched by the ripples of the blast. Ren is already there, perched on the edge of the flowerbed. I fall onto the lounger, and Cal takes a seat on the coffee table, facing me. He leans forward and takes my hands. His shoulders slump and his head hangs low. I lean forward and kiss the top of his head. “Drink?” I ask against his head. He nods.

  A dark beer and a shot of whiskey appear beside him. Without a word, he downs the shot and leans back with his eyes closed, letting the sting and warmth of the whiskey flow down his throat. My gin, with very little tonic, is gone within a few gulps. It does nothing to soothe me.

  I distract myself with thoughts of all I need to take care of. What to say about Jo’s death? A heart attack is reasonable. Only those closest to her will know how bravely she died. What to do with the caterers coming in a matter of hours? I suppose I will make them see only the task at hand and ignore the devastation. And the shop? I will start again. From scratch, though. I cannot magick this right, nor do I want to. And Sylvia? A shaky breath leaves my chest slowly. She is eighteen so she can live on her own. I will make sure she can keep the house, and she is welcome to stay as the shop’s manager—if she’ll even want to after this. Mandy’s problem is solved, but the boys remain a question. I will visit them in due course, but not anytime soon. They are the least of my worries right now. I have an answer for everything, don’t I? My gut churns with bitterness.

  “She died for me.” Cal’s face is in his hands, and his shoulders shudder. In the stillness and privacy of the serene night, he crumples. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight.

  “You would have done the same for her,” I say, stroking his hair. “She died because of me. Morris’s presence is all my fault.” I tell him an abbreviated version of the tale of Morris Stiles and how he came to be in my home tonight. Cal listens with a blank face and says nothing when I’m finished.

  Cal and I move to the chaise. I snuggle into his arm and lean my head on his chest. I want to hold the peace of this moment for as long as I can. The next few days will be incredibly hard.

  Beneath my closed eyes, I see movement with my Sight. I straighten.

  “What?” Cal is alarmed by my reaction. I hold a hand up for silence.

  I step out from under the pergola. Electricity travels the length of my body and is followed by a cold shiver. These are the sensations I feel when I am near the Veil.

  The sight of the Veil materializing before me leaves me stunned. Cal scrambles up to take my hand, but I push him behind me. Dark silver and gray swirl within a curtain of black ether. It grows slowly, fanning out wide and tall. In the center appear wisps of white, coalescing to form an unmistakable shape.

  “Jo!” I rush towards the Veil, only to stop myself abruptly at the first hint of its tug on my Spirit.

  “Oh, my god,” Cal breathes at my shoulder. I push him back. He must not get too close to the Veil. I see Ren out of the corner of my eye.

  “Aven.” Jo’s ethereal voice echoes through me from the depths of the Veil. Her face is urgent.

  “Jo, how are you doing this? We need to get Sylvia. Cal, go get Sylvia!” I stare, mouth agape, at her ghostly form floating within the sea of silver and black.

  “No, no, there’s no time! I’ll go see her later before I move on, I promise. Tell her that, okay? Now, shut up and listen!” Her face looks pained, desperate. “Aven, I don’t have much time. Listen!”

  “I’m listening!”

  “I can break your curse! It was impossible to do when I was alive. I know that now.” Her words rush at me. I can’t process what she’s said.

  She responds to the shock o
n my face. “Look, I can join the Spirits of you and Ren.” She nods in the direction of the bird. “But it has to be soon! Samhain is waning so we’re running out of time.”

  The Veil is the thinnest between this world and the Spirit world during the short time that is Samhain. I understand now how she’s managed to create a portal, and I am awed by her strength and devotion. I’ve never seen another Spirit create a portal. Tears rush to my eyes.

  “Don’t start crying now, dammit, there isn’t time!”

  I cannot help but smile at her admonishment. “What do we need to do?”

  “Go to the portal that is on my family’s property. I can’t hold this one here much longer. Once there, Ren will need to enter the Veil fully, and you need to enter as far as you can without losing grip on your body. Once I have both of your Spirits, I can join them together.”

  Her form is fading, and I rush forward, as close as I dare. “Why can’t we use my portal?”

  “Because it’s not a real portal. It’s man-made, so to speak. Go, now! Go!” Her voice echoes as the Veil fades into nothing.

  I stare in disbelief at the emptiness. She can join our Spirits. I look at Ren, who trembles, staring back at me with wide eyes. “Our curse can actually be broken.” I don’t know why I’m whispering.

  “Well, let’s go!” Cal is rubbing his hands together; his face is bright. I am still stunned. I shake my head, pushing away my daze.

  “We won’t get there in time if we drive.” I stare pointedly at him. “We have to fly.”

  His eyes widen and his jaw drops. I take his hands. “Do you trust me?”

  He swallows. “I do.” He smiles. “God help me, I do.” I squeeze his hands and take several steps back.

  My arms rise from my sides, and a gust of wind whips around us. Its sudden chill makes Cal gasp.

  Cal’s body quakes, and his head snaps up. His arms flail out to the side. In a pulse of silver light, his body morphs into that of a raven.

  He squawks as he falls to the ground. His wings fan out and he hops around, squawking and croaking as his head moves from side to side, inspecting himself. Gurgling sounds that can only be laughter come from deep within Ren’s chest. She hops down beside her shiny, black brother. He croaks and jumps backward.

  “Cal!” I have to repeat his name several times to get his attention. “You’re fine! This is only temporary. I can’t carry you when I fly, so you must fly yourself. Your bird instincts will kick in. I promise.”

  He eyes me suspiciously with one eye, his head jerking up and down. Ren butts her head against him, still gurgling laughter.

  “Follow Ren. Do whatever she does. Okay?” I take his head bobbing as a ‘yes.’

  48

  I never notice the cold when I fly. The serenity of the sky, especially at night, the occasional moist embrace from a cloud, the sound of the wind rushing past my ears have always brought me great peace and joy. This flight is no different. It is more so as the end to my curse is finally, after almost a thousand years, within my grasp—thanks to my friend.

  We soar high aloft, the two ravens and I, and faster than I have ever flown. Behind us, I sense the sunrise coming. There is very little time. The white raven keeps up with me and, aside from the occasional falter when the air currents shift, Cal is doing an impressive job for his first time as a bird. His little face seems rather panicked though, and I’m sure I won’t be hearing the last of this for a long, long time.

  At last, the island-like range of the Berkshire Hills comes into view. The barest hint of morning color is upon the horizon. I feel unreasonably threatened by the burgeoning light.

  The narrow valley where Jo’s family treasure lies hidden is northwest of Mount Greylock. I cannot see it within the shadows of the surrounding peaks, but I sense the presence of the Veil. Angling my body towards it, I descend.

  I land lightly in a small area devoid of large trees nearest the portal. The forest falls silent at my presence. Ren lands gracefully on a fallen log. Cal is not far behind her. He has slowed his descent, appearing to gauge how he will manage his landing. He targets a large, thick branch of the nearest bare tree. There’s a glint of determination in his beady black eyes. It makes me smile.

  He comes in too quickly, but his grip on the branch keeps him from continuing on to the ground. His wings beat furiously to arrest his forward momentum. Ren croaks with approval, and I applaud. He glares at us both. He issues several harsh croaks in rapid succession. I assume that means he’s ready for me to turn him back into a man.

  I indicate for him to hop down. He does so, smacking his beak into the scrub. With a wave of my hands, his glossy black feathers disappear within a flash of silver light. The light forms a tall pillar and pulses once more. Cal the man stands before me, panting heavily, still in his ruined tuxedo minus the bow tie.

  “I think I’m going to puke,” he moans, bending over, putting his hands on his knees.

  “Just take slow, deep breaths. This will pass soon.” I admire his strength. I recall the first time I turned someone into an animal and back again. She vomited straight away and several times. I had not been so gentle with that person, however. It was a punishment, for the girl had been tormenting my little sister, Iona, relentlessly. I had to teach her a lesson. I liked her much better as a weasel, but after Iona’s laughter subsided and her tender heart gave in, she insisted I turn the nasty brat back into a girl.

  The darkness in the small valley belies the onset of dawn. “Come on, we have to get moving.”

  Cal takes another deep breath then nods, righting himself. I plunge into the dark forest in a slow jog. I throw a ball of light into the air to light Cal’s path. It hovers above him and keeps pace.

  The sound of our footfalls in the stark quiet is deafening. The pale white orb casts an eerie glow around the two of us, but I do not need its light. The Veil’s energy draws me to it. The white raven hops and flies from branch to branch above.

  We come up to what looks to be a cave, its entrance covered by a tightly woven curtain of dead vines. With Cal’s help, I clear the opening quickly. He grunts and jerks forward. I cry out and grab him, throwing him behind me.

  “What the hell was that?” he gasps, gripping his chest.

  “That is the pull of the Veil.” I place my hand on his chest; his heart is thumping wildly. “I need you to keep me from being pulled in.” His eyes widen and he glances from me to the dark mouth of the cave. “I’m sorry to ask this of you, I really am. You are not magickal, and you have little resistance to the Veil, but you are strong, and you love me.” I place a hand on his cheek. “Now that you know the feeling of it, you know what it wants. It wants your Spirit. You must keep my body from completely entering the Veil. My body is my anchor in this world. You are my anchor in this world. If my body is pulled into the Veil, I will die.”

  His hands tighten around mine, and his brow wrinkles.

  “No pressure,” I say with a wry smile.

  He snorts and shakes his head.

  “Aven?” The call resonates from the depths of the cave.

  “Yes, Jo, I’m here! I’m here!”

  The black maw ripples. Silver threads grow outward from the center, followed by swirls of light and dark gray mist. The shimmering surface morphs to matte black, and Jo’s Spirit floats within.

  “Thank Goddess!” She waves me forward. “Bird!” But Ren is already there, perched on a stump, staring intently at Jo. She is trembling, so I lay my hand on her back.

  “We will never be apart again,” I say, my throat closing with a flood of emotion. I kiss the top of her head, and she pushes back with a soft coo.

  I hold my arm out for Cal to take it. He grips it firmly with both hands and leans to kiss me. His kiss is hard, yet full of fear. “I love you,” we say in unison.

  “Okay, okay. You two can do all that and more later. Let’s get a move on.” Jo is nearly dancing. I sense the sun breaking over the horizon. “Ren, this is going to be hard, but you have to do it.
The charm has to come off.”

  She croaks in surprise. Her neck feathers ruffle, and she starts to pant, gripping her talons into the dried wood. I can’t imagine the pain the little creature will have to endure, no matter how brief.

  “Ready?” Jo asks of Ren, her face softer than before. She nods. Jo turns to me and inclines her head.

  My eyes lock with my little friend, and I feel her fear, but her eyes show resolve. She digs her talons deeper into the wood, which cracks and splinters under her grip.

  We will be one again. One and whole.

  She nods to me. With a flick of my wrist, the clasp of the necklace clicks open, and it flies from her breast. She cries out instantly, and I clench my fists to keep myself from taking her in my arms.

  Her head thrashes back and forth; blood flies from her beak.

  “Now, Ren, now!” Jo says.

  The white raven tries to crouch, to prepare for her launch forward, but she struggles to keep the hold on the log. My energy pushes at her, and I cannot do anything to stop it. I will her strength and courage, my heart breaking at the sight of her agony.

  With a determined cry, like that of a warrior rushing to meet a certain death, she throws herself forward. The invisible pull of the Veil catches her body. Her cry is quickly silenced within the Veil. I watch as the bright Spirit of the white raven soars upward within the vast blackness, and the body of Ren fall unceremoniously to the ground with a heartbreaking thud.

  “Aven, now!” Jo extends her hand towards me. The Veil quakes and Jo’s Spirit falters. “Hurry!”

  I plunge my arm into the Veil. Without my guards up, without keeping the full weight of my Spirit within my body, I gasp at the strength of its pull. Cal has my left arm wrapped within both of his, and he digs his heels into the moist ground. Expletives fly from his mouth in surprise at the sudden and harsh pull.