Overtime for Love
Page 9
As much as he didn’t want to think about her married to another man, her statement piqued his curiosity. “If? You don’t think you’ll get married one day?”
“I’m not sure I want to get married.” She reached over to the pizza box and lifted the top. “I’m not into the idea of being dependent on someone. I like being able to take care of myself and doing what I want without answering to anyone else.”
“That’s not what marriage is about,” he said, slightly amused by her defiant tone. “Marriage is a mutual partnership.”
She gave him a whatever smirk. “Someone is always expected to give more in any partnership. You know I’m telling the truth because you’re smiling.”
“I’m smiling because I hope you’re joking. What you’re describing is called compromise. When you love someone you’re willing to give on things.”
She chuckled. “Okay, what would you be willing to compromise?” She put a slice of pizza on a paper plate and handed it to him.
Isaiah took the plate. He met her beautiful eyes, sparkling with amusement, and answered without thought. “Anything to make you happy.”
Her eyes widened. Then her amusement swirled to what he thought was longing before her brows drew together and she looked away. Embarrassment flooded his system.
“You know what I mean,” he said quickly. “I’d do whatever was necessary to make whomever I’m with happy.”
Angela put another slice of pizza on a plate. “I think staying away from me would make Bridget happy.”
“But it won’t make me happy.” Apparently, he was just going to say whatever came to his mind right now.
Angela put the plate in her lap. They were quiet while she pulled the pepperoni off the pizza. “Me, neither, but you asked her here,” she said in a resigned tone. “I can tell you’re not the type of guy to mess with me while you’re still involved with her.” She met his gaze. “And I’m not the type of woman who’ll come between you two.”
She was right. Everything good, and noble, and gentlemanly in him said to agree. But he didn’t want to be gentlemanly. He wanted to keep Angela in his life. Wanted Angela to be the woman in his life.
A rush of adrenaline hit him harder than his first professional game. A mixture of fear, excitement and panic sent his pulse into overdrive. Was he ready to give up the history he had with Bridget for this intense, fiery feeling he had for Angela? Was he making a mistake to consider this, or would walking away be the bigger mistake? He needed time to think, time to consider, before he did something he’d regret forever.
“I called the producer in that documentary,” he said with a casualness he didn’t feel.
Her shoulders relaxed. He couldn’t tell if she was disappointed because she focused on the pizza again. “Really? How did it go?”
“He may let me come out on the boat with them when they search for sharks off the coast.”
“That sounds really scary, but also kind of cool. Why do you love sharks so much?” She took a small bite of the pizza.
Isaiah leaned back into the couch, comfortable with a nonlife-changing topic. “Because they’re big, strong and graceful. When a great white comes into the area, all other animals hide. They aren’t afraid of anything because there aren’t many things that can hurt them. They’re the ultimate embodiment of confidence.”
She swallowed, nodded and licked pizza sauce off her lips. “I guess I can see that.”
His gaze had followed the movement of her tongue and his cock twitched with interest. He shifted in his seat. “I’d love to work with him on this. Maybe even get a spot on the documentary he’s doing. It’s supposed to air during Shark Week.”
Angela’s eyes widened. She’d just taken another bite and placed her hand in front of her mouth. “I may see you on Shark Week?”
Her enthusiasm brought a grin to his lips. “You watch Shark Week?”
“Every year since I was eleven. It’d be so cool to actually know someone on one of the shows.”
“I’ve watched it every year, too—obviously. My family thinks I’m crazy for being into sharks. They would really lose their minds if they knew I’d love to get into underwater filmmaking after I retire.”
“Why? That would be the coolest job,” she said as if underwater filmmaking was all the rage.
“My parents are college professors. Engineering and mathematics, which means they’re both very practical. They think my journalism degree would better serve me in broadcast journalism when I retire. I agree, but after a career playing ball, which I love, I’d like to retire into another career I’d love. Broadcasting isn’t something I’m interested in.”
And speaking of his parents, they’d think he was being impractical for even considering breaking things off permanently with Bridget in order to be with Angela. Regardless of her job advocating for kids, all his parents would see was her work at a strip club. They’d warned him off groupies and gold diggers from the second it became obvious he was gifted with a basketball. If they found out he’d met Angela there, they wouldn’t care about his feelings and would assume he was making a decision with the head between his legs.
“Forget what they want, go for what you want,” Angela said. “You’ve only got one life—don’t spend it making other people happy. In the end, they won’t be the one living with the regret. I’d rather do things on my terms. That way if things go bad then I’m the only one to blame. Don’t give others control. Believe that you’re strong enough to survive any mistakes.”
“Is that how you live your life?”
She looked down at her wrist, at the symbol of strength. “If you’re afraid every decision you make may be the wrong one, then you won’t make any decisions. After having someone make a decision that nearly ruined my future and then bouncing back from that, I trust myself and any choices I make for myself a little more.”
What regrets would he be left with? Ever since his hero antics, as his dad called them, when he was younger, he hadn’t made a move without thinking of the consequences. All because he was worried of how the consequences would affect other people. His parents, his teammates, his relationships. Would his actions upset his parents, upset his coaches and upset his career. When was the last time he’d gone for what he wanted, consequences be damned? Angela leaned forward to grab a can of soda. Were the consequences of telling Bridget that asking her to move here was a mistake enough to stop him from doing it? From getting closer to Angela?
Cory yelled and jumped up and down. He yanked off the headset and spun around to face them. “We took out the entire unit! This game is so cool.”
Angela laughed and put her plate on the coffee table. “Well, if you’ve taken out the unit, then you’ve finished the level, and we can go.”
Cory pointed to the pizza. “I didn’t eat.”
“We can take it with us.” She glanced at her watch. “It’s getting late and we’ve imposed on Isaiah long enough.” She stood.
Isaiah stood, as well. He wasn’t ready for her to leave. “You don’t have to go.”
She shook her head, but her smile was regretful. “I’m tired and I really want to get home and get out of these heels. Come on, Cory. Grab a few slices and we’ll go.”
Isaiah didn’t argue. He needed time to think, consider. If he was about to say consequences be damned, he needed a clear head. He gave Angela the second pizza and told her to take it since he wasn’t going to eat both of them, then walked them to the door.
Angela stopped at the door and gave him an unguarded smile that brightened his world. “Thanks again, Isaiah.”
“It was no problem at all.” He wanted to hug her goodbye. Wanted the privilege of being able to kiss her goodbye. He wanted her and he couldn’t keep ignoring that. “Drive safe, okay?”
After Angela and Cory left he called Bridget. She answered on the third
ring. “Hey, Isaiah, what’s up?” Bridget said in a cheery voice, though the “what’s up?” came in a tone that made him feel like he needed to get to a point.
“I thought we could get together.”
“Oh.” Was that hesitation in her tone? “It was just that I’m about to head out. I’m meeting a few of my new coworkers for drinks.”
“You haven’t even started yet and you’re meeting coworkers for drinks?” He couldn’t hide his surprise. She didn’t start her job until the following week and she’d already met her coworkers?
She gave a little laugh. “One of my undergraduate friends works at Goldman Schultz. She’s actually the one who put me on the job. I’m meeting up with her to get the skinny before I start.”
He hadn’t known that, but honestly, he hadn’t asked her much about the job. He hadn’t given much thought to Bridget’s life in Jacksonville outside of their relationship. The realization didn’t make him feel very good. Had he only been treating Bridget like a check-off on his things to do before the season started? “Why don’t you come over? Let’s talk.”
“About what?”
“Us.”
“Oh.” Again the hesitation, and a hint of concern. “You know, Isaiah, we do need to talk, but not tonight.”
He ignored the relief he felt that she didn’t want to come over. That couldn’t be a good sign. He shouldn’t have asked her to move here. Which meant he wasn’t looking forward to her reaction when he told her so.
“You know what? That’s no problem,” he said. “I had a long day at the camp. Let’s get together tomorrow.”
“Sure, yes, tomorrow’s great.” Relief in her voice, too. “Good night, Isaiah.”
“Good night, Bridget.”
Chapter 12
Isaiah didn’t run into Angela the next day. One second Cory was there and the next he was gone. Checked out by his aunt, he confirmed with Keri. Angela must be avoiding him. Not what he wanted, but he understood. To her, he was unavailable. Not for long. Regardless of the consequences he was talking to Bridget tonight.
He showered at the center, then went directly to the condo Bridget had rented. He knocked and after a few minutes, Bridget answered with a hesitant smile. She had on a pair of tiny pink shorts and a gray tank top with the words I don’t sweat, I glisten on the front.
Bridget stepped aside and let him in. He leaned in to hug her, but she was already turning away. “Oh...sorry,” she said and turned back.
They both leaned in with their torsos. Bridget patted him on the back twice. A church hug, according to Will. The kind of hug a woman gave you when she didn’t want to get too close. Maybe that was a good sign.
They broke apart and Bridget stepped back. “I’m still unpacking.” She pointed to the boxes stacked in the room. “Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m good.” He followed her farther into the condo.
“Okay.” She stopped in front of the white linen sofa in the living room. “Have a seat.”
Isaiah did and ran his hands over his khaki shorts. His shirt was a lightweight white T-shirt but sweat ran down his back. “So...getting settled in?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She nodded. “I really like the condo. I don’t think I’ll look for a more permanent place anytime soon.”
“That’s good. I’m glad you like it here.” Maybe she wouldn’t be too angry when he told her that they shouldn’t get back together. “Look, Bridget, there’s something I want to say.”
“Shh...” She straddled his lap and pushed his shoulders back before he could say more. “Let’s talk later.”
Her lips covered his. He immediately wanted to push her back, but he hesitated. Maybe this was the final test he needed. If he still wanted her, he should feel something when they kissed. So he let her lead. When her tongue tested his lips for a deeper kiss, he opened, then waited for his reaction. When he’d kissed Angela, he’d forgotten everything around them. He’d had a hard time not pulling her harder against him. Angela’s kiss had made him crave her. Bridget’s kiss was familiar, but not nearly as exciting. Bridget’s kiss felt...wrong. The wrong fit for him. Guilt made his body cold.
He opened his eyes and met Bridget’s gaze. They broke apart quickly. She lifted her hand to her lips, then dropped it quickly. He understood the reflex. He wanted to wipe away the kiss, too.
“Does this feel...?” He tried to think of something to say.
“Awkward?” Bridget said, finishing his thought. She slid off his lap and scooted to the other side of the couch.
Another word would have been less harsh but he couldn’t think of anything better. “It’s been a while since we’ve been together.” The excuse sounded lame.
Bridget sighed and tugged on one of the corkscrew curls in her hair. “It has, but...we’ve never had chemistry problems before.”
“Before, we got together because it was convenient and short-term. This time it’s—”
“I don’t want to get married.” Bridget’s brown eyes widened and she slapped a hand over her mouth.
Isaiah wanted to shout his relief. Probably not the best reaction. He nodded slowly. “I don’t, either.”
Bridget’s shoulders relaxed. “I thought you’d freak out.”
He turned to face her fully. “No. We’ve both changed since we last saw each other. Of course what we want has changed, too.”
“So you’re okay with us just dating instead of jumping straight to something more serious?” Her voice was hopeful.
Isaiah rubbed his chin. “Actually, I need to tell you something.”
Her eyebrows shot up. When she rubbed her shoulder, a nervous gesture of hers, the strap of her tank top slid off. “Why do you sound ominous?”
He took a deep breath and said what he needed to say. “There is someone else.”
Bridget had been reaching for him. She dropped her hand and jumped from the couch. Her hands slammed onto her hips and her glare sliced him to pieces. “Someone else?” she said, her tone low and angry. “You’re seeing someone else?”
Isaiah shifted forward on the couch. “You just said you didn’t want to get married.”
She nodded, but the anger in her eyes didn’t lessen. “Yeah, because it had been months since we saw each other and when you asked me to come here, you mentioned eventually getting married. Not because I’m seeing someone else. Why did you ask me to move here if you were seeing another woman?”
“I wasn’t seeing her when I asked you to move. We met after.” He kept his voice neutral. Bridget wasn’t one to go off and create a scene when she was angry, but he didn’t want to tempt her.
Her eyes narrowed. “Who is she?”
He had no reason to lie. “Her name is Angela.”
Bridget took a step back and placed a hand on her chest. “The woman at the center?” She sneered. “I thought she was another groupie trying to get with you.”
“She isn’t.” He fought to keep his calm after the disdain in Bridget’s voice. “We click. There’s something there. I don’t want to ignore it—I don’t think I can.”
Bridget rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Really, Isaiah? I thought you were smarter than that.” She turned away.
Isaiah stood. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She looked at him as if he was crazy. “You’ve spent years saying you can’t deal with these thirsty women who chase you and your teammates, and now one comes around with a pretty face, and an at-risk kid, and you’re ready to save a ho.”
“She’s not a whore.” His voice hardened with his anger. “And she doesn’t need saving. It’s different when I’m with her.”
Bridget flipped her wrist dismissively. “You know what? Go get her. See if I give a damn. I knew years ago I was wasting my time with you.”
He wasn’t sure if the sta
tement was meant to harm or was just her way to deflect her own pain, but either way, it bothered him. “Then why did you come?”
She crossed her arms and tossed up her chin. “I didn’t say no because like an idiot I had a soft spot for you. I knew I was your backup. That you were keeping me in your back pocket until you decided you were ready to get married.”
“That’s not how I treated you. That’s not how I thought of you.”
“You can lie to me, but don’t lie to yourself. I was your safety net. Not because you love me, but because you love the idea of me.”
Isaiah clenched his jaw to keep from cursing. He took a deep breath and asked, “What are you talking about?”
“You want what your parents have. Do you think I didn’t realize you called and asked me to move here right after your brother got engaged? You’ve played professional ball, traveled and had your fun. Now you’re ready for a wife and kids. What do you do? Call me to come fill the bill.” Her voice was cold and sliced him to the quick.
He took a few steps back. “You didn’t really want to come.”
She lifted her shoulder. “Honestly, the job offer made up my mind.”
The admission wasn’t a surprise. He’d already wondered if that was the real reason. Maybe even the only reason. “That’s it, huh?”
“I did wonder if proximity would have brought us closer. I did love you once.” Her voice softened from glacial to freezing rain.
He had loved her once, too. Years ago when they were in college and she was the first woman he’d felt comfortable with. That’s why he’d held on to this for so long. The memory of love just as powerful as the actual feelings. Especially for him when the actual feelings made him feel off and unsure. “When did you stop?”
“When I realized our relationship had morphed to just a physical one.”
“Did you want more from me?” Something in her voice made him suspect she was only pretending to sound nonchalant. He didn’t want to know if he’d hurt her.
“Before we became just occasional hookups, yes, I wanted what you did. But when I started law school, I knew our goals had changed. You still want a perfect wife. Someone who needs you.”