To Honor and Cherish

by Kari Trumbo

  “I already asked you, Lord, to heal her. What more do I need to do?”

  “Believe…” moaned Meg.

  The noise from her throat scared and thrilled her. After struggling through such a long silence, the sound of her own voice seemed much louder than she remembered. She heard noises from the surrounding beds. It was certainly morning now.

  Jax reached up to her face and moved a bit of hair that had fallen in her eyes and she forced herself to slowly close, then open them. She smiled at him with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, which wasn’t much. He looked beside himself with joy. “Believe.” she looked at him again with intensity.

  Jax caressed her cheek and smiled back down at her. “I think I do.”

  Slowly, Meg moved each of her fingers and toes. It was still painful, but she was so pleased to be able to move them.

  Meg laid in bed while Jax spooned her some oatmeal. The warm thick food felt good to her throat. She hadn’t eaten in what her stomach thought was a long time. She had never enjoyed the taste of plain oats and milk so much. Jax offered her a glass of water and she drank liberally. After getting her fill of water, she tried to speak again.

  “Jax,” she whispered.

  “What, what is it?” he replied, so happy she hated to break that, but she must.

  “I care about you so much, but we can’t get married.” A tear coursed its way down her cheek.

  His face fell. “What do you mean? I love you, boss-lady. I want you to be my wife.”

  “The last few days have not changed what’s wrong. The fact remains that you won’t want me if you take the time to get to know me. I have nothing to offer you except the ranch and it looks like I may not even be able to offer you that.”

  “I don’t care about the ranch. Elizabeth isn’t even married yet, how can you give up?”

  “We won’t work and that is final.”

  “There you go again, acting the boss. That’s how you want it? Fine. You always say that it’s best to let God be in control. You want me to believe but you won’t even trust Him. Why should I? You can’t let go of control long enough to see if this will work. I love you Meghan Connor, but I won’t be played with.”

  She watched Jax leave the infirmary and she allowed her tears to run down her cheek. Spinning the thin silver band on her finger, she’d never let herself remove it. She felt very alone, but it was better this way. If she couldn’t have children, Jax shouldn’t get his hopes up about the ranch. It was all she really had to offer and if she couldn’t have children, she would never own it. Like Chase, he would work hard for nothing and eventually leave. The thought of being left alone was all the reminder she needed. This was better. This was safe.

  ~~~

  Elizabeth looked down at her sister while she made her rounds. Something had changed during the day. Meg had worry lines in her sleep and the ever-present Jax was gone.

  “Elizabeth, are you all right?” came Robert’s voice from a few beds away.

  Elizabeth looked over to see him on duty watching Lars, that monster she could hardly tolerate.

  “Yes, thank you, Robert,” she whispered. “Did you happen to see if anything happened with Meg and Jax today?”

  “Luc was here all day. I just started my shift. I think I’m going to move this guy back to the jail if the doctor agrees. If Meg is awake now, I don’t want him near her.”

  “Do you think it’s safe to move him?”

  “It doesn’t really matter. He assaulted me. I have a witness who says he killed a man over on the other side of the border. He kidnapped Meg and Jax. He’ll hang. It doesn’t make sense to push a man to good health only to watch him swing.”

  “I suppose you’re right. When will all this happen?”

  “Nothing will happen until we are sure of the murder charge. We know he attempted to kill both Meg and Jax but the murder charge is what will clinch it. He won’t be going anywhere soon.”

  Lars’s eyes flung open and he sprang from the bed. “That’s what you think.” Elizabeth gasped at how fast a man could move who’d been shot only a day ago.

  “Elizabeth, get out of his way!” Robert took a defensive stance.

  Elizabeth tripped over her dress and the other beds, trying to do as he bade her. Lars had his arms spread about a foot from each side of his body and he was hunched over. He was ready to fight.

  Elizabeth hid behind a bed. Robert focused his attention on Lars completely. Lars lunged for Robert and Elizabeth screamed, breaking Robert’s concentration. Lars aimed a punch for Robert’s chest, knocking him on his back on the floor. Robert kicked for Lars’s weak spot, the bandaged arm, already sticky and wet with fresh blood. Lars howled and straddled Robert’s body, punching him with his left arm.

  Elizabeth grabbed a solid metal bed warmer and ran up behind Lars. She hit him in the back of the head, screaming when he barely moved. She hadn’t hit him hard enough to do any damage, but made him madder. Robert grabbed at Lars as he swiped his injured arm at Elizabeth but missed.

  Robert used the diversion to his advantage. Using both arms for leverage, he flexed at the waist, grabbing Lars’s vest and pulling him forward and to the right down to the floor. With a sickening crunch, Robert slammed his head into the floor by his right ear using the momentum to roll Lars up and over his body.

  Elizabeth screamed, “Look out! He grabbed your gun!”

  She held her breath as she saw Robert pull his cavalry sabre from his belt. She shut her eyes tight, not wanting to see what happened next. She heard the sound of the blade make contact. Her hands flew to her ears and she collapsed to the floor.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Meg recovered from her chill quickly. The doctor was sure it was the fact that she fought back when she was first attacked and raised her body heat and heart rate which kept her from getting hypothermia. He couldn’t medically figure out how she didn’t suffer from frostbite. By all rights, she should have.

  The blizzard only lasted two days and the temperature soon rose back to normal, chilly but not yet cold. Meg and Jax stayed a week to make sure they had strength for the trip. Elizabeth was sad to see her family go, but they had to get back. The doctor warned Meg to avoid lifting anything or riding horse very long for another month. It would be a long, hard journey home, but it had to be done. Rose would’ve had her child by now and Meg needed to see the wee baby. Not to mention Pete would want to be with his wife, and that would leave her father short-handed. They had to get back as quickly as possible.

  Jax and Meg slowly made their way along the river, turning and heading south by the big rock where they had discovered their feelings for each other. She looked at it and her heart clenched. She didn’t ask to stop by the rock this time. Jax hadn’t spoken to her except to be cordial since their argument. He was observant but cold. When Meg looked too tired or sore, he would insist they stop and rest. The chilly air seemed to help the pain, but her breathing was still shallow because of that same pain. The only time she felt as happy as before was at night when she listened to Jax’s breathing.

  The old man who’d kept their horses was happy to see them. He accepted a little money but thought that the horse they gave him was more than sufficient payment. They were both ready to have the trip done and stayed with him for just a few minutes to rest.

  The stage coach was torture, jostling and jumping each movement like knives in her side. She had to lean against Jax for support. She couldn’t bear it without him though it hurt her pride to even ask.

  They made it to the final leg of their journey and she boarded the train anxious for the quiet privacy of their tiny state room. It wasn’t meant to be, the train had overbooked and Meg and Jax needed to share their room with an older gentleman. The train she’d looked forward to for over a week was a new form of torture. The old gentleman turned out to be more of a curmudgeon. Every time they even looked at one another, the old man would give them evil looks. Once, after about three such evil looks, he actually growled at the
m.

  He insisted on sleeping in the bottom bunk and Meg couldn’t climb into the top. She had to sleep sitting up in the booth. Jax lay in the top bunk. She knew he didn’t sleep much, his breathing was never calm and steady. Nights were painful and seemingly endless. The train left her more sore and tired than the parts of the trip prior to it had. You couldn’t stop the train to rest.

  At their second stop out of the three, Jax went into the station and sent word to Little Springs. They would be home the next day. Meg needed her father to meet them there so she could rest as soon as possible.

  When they finally pulled in to town, Meg was overjoyed. One more hour in a wagon and she could get some proper rest. They got a message Gus had left horses at the livery for them instead of a wagon. Meg was so happy to see her familiar horse, she rubbed its nose and spoke gently to it, giving it a carrot she’d brought from her evening meal on the train. The horse nipped at it, making muffled noises and pushing her nose into Meg’s hand looking for more treats.

  Meg and Jax rode home at a walking pace; he seemed to know she was too drained to take it faster. Soreness from the train ride radiated through her entire body. The horse wanted some exercise, she wished she could let her poor friend have it. She promised to leave her out in the corral that night to run. It was also just as likely Meg’s horse could feel her own agitation at Jax and reacted to it. Either way, the horse would get to run tonight.

  “Are you ever going to tell me what is so wrong with you that it would make me run away scared? Maybe you haven’t noticed, but it would take an awful lot to do that.”

  “Jax, I just think it would be best if we let it go.”

  “I can’t let it go. Stop living a lie and give up your need to control everything. I’m old enough to know that I won’t find anyone else like you ever again.” He pulled up on his reins and waited for her to do the same. “I’m done waiting. We need to get this over with, or I need to move on because I can’t work with you every day knowing I can never have you.”

  She couldn’t let that happen. It was hard enough seeing him every day and wanting to feel his closeness again. She couldn’t let him leave altogether.

  “Jax, you just don’t understand. This isn’t easy for me, either.”

  “Fine. I guess you still need to have it your way or no way at all. I’ll get you home, then I’m heading for Lake Forest. I’ve got no one to run from anymore.” He put a gentle heel to his horse and started down the trail again.

  Meg’s breath came in short gasps that had nothing to do with her broken rib. This couldn’t be happening. Jax couldn’t leave her, too. She couldn’t live without him. The weight of the loss closed around her like a noose. She fought the tears that wanted to erupt.

  “Jax, stop.”

  He turned to look at her.

  She rode up next to him. “I don’t even know how to do this. I had to do everything after I lost Chase, make ever decision. I was so scared because I didn’t know how to do what I needed to. I don’t know how to just let that go.” She wanted to fall off the horse and hide her head in shame.

  “Why don’t you ask Him to help you? I hear you asking Him for everything else.”

  He was right, of course. She took a deep, shuddering breath and sent up a prayer for help. She looked out at the prairie. “I can’t have children.” There, she’d finally said it out loud. “You’ll never own Whitte Ranch, because I don’t think I can produce an heir.” She shook with every word.

  He reached out and touched her chin, it was so tender and gentle that a sob thrust itself beyond her control. He dismounted, pulled her gently down from her horse and cradled her against his strong chest.

  “You know you can’t…or you think you can’t?” he asked in the softest whisper, finger-combing her hair by her forehead.

  “We tried for five years and I was never able to conceive.”

  “That doesn’t mean you can’t and it doesn’t make me want you as my wife any less. I have only ever been interested in Whitte Ranch because you wanted it. I only want to be where you are.”

  The gentle caress of his hand, even gloved, on her head calmed her. She held onto him for support and closed her eyes, relishing his touch. “Jax. I love you. I’m sure of it now. I could have lived just seeing you every day, even if I couldn’t be with you. I couldn’t bear for you to go away. Please say you’ll stay.”

  He pulled away enough to see her face and kissed her. It was like being kissed for the first time. Her heart raced and her knees shook under her. He held her close and stabilized her world.

  “I want to marry you, boss-lady.”

  She buried her face in his neck. “Yes,” she whispered near his ear. She knew he heard because he squeezed her closer.

  “Do you see all the stars out there?” he whispered to her temple, his breath on her skin so thrilling it made her heart race.

  She found she could hardly speak and nodded.

  “If you could count them all, and could count how much I love you…it would show I love you more.”

  Meg came undone, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself as close to him as she could and breathed his kisses as if she needed them to survive.

  Please enjoy a brief excerpt from the next book in the Western Vows trilogy, expected release early 2016.

  For Richer

  Or Poore

  Koochiching, Minnesota 1900

  Chapter 1

  Elizabeth looked at the mess of a man who would be her husband and shuddered. He was not the malleable man she’d come hundreds of miles for. Dreading the prospect of completing her plan, she sucked in a deep breath to gain control of her nerves. She had to woo a husband and return to Kansas to take Whitte Ranch from her sister, Meg. Her hand clenched at her side. Could she really do this? Could she submit to this man even for a short while to get what she wanted?

  Robert, who’d talked with and protected her for the whole trip from Kansas to Koochiching, MN stepped closer to her, concern etched his face. He was tall and strong, his bright red uniform coat adding to his imposing countenance.

  “Robert, you stay away from my gal, y’hear?” Axel took a step back, but didn’t cower.

  “Where is the preacher, Axel? You’ve never brought one of your girls home without them being properly wed. There is nowhere for her to stay at your place.”

  Elizabeth got the feeling Robert was conveying important information, but she was too tired from the long journey to understand.

  “The preacher was busy. We’ll come back in ta town tomorrow and make it all legal.” Axel growled, grabbing for Elizabeth’s hand.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. She will be missed, Axel.” Robert crossed his arms over his wide lean frame. The action made him even more formidable.

  “What do you know about my business? Keep out of it, lawman.” Axel sneered.

  “I am sure everything will be fine, Robert.” Elizabeth’s voice held no such assurance and she couldn’t keep the tremble from her voice.

  Axel shuffled Elizabeth closer to the wagon and before she could put up much of a protest, the wagon seat was beneath her. She opened her mouth to object. Robert would never see her again and she hadn’t been able to wish him well, or even really say goodbye. Turning, she lifted her hand to wave, but Axel reached over and grabbed her by the arm. His nails were hard and the grip of his fingers bit her even through her wool coat. She flinched and yanked her arm away.

  “Don’t you dare make no move on no other man. You’re mine, and I won’t have it,” he yelled, spit flying from his mouth. Elizabeth pulled back to avoid the flying gobs.

  The pit of her stomach rolled, fatigue and stress from the long trip caught up to her and made their home in her gut. The man sitting next to her smelled of unwashed body, tobacco, booze, and other filth she couldn’t name, and didn’t want to. If she jumped would it cause great injury? The horses were rather decrepit and they weren’t going quickly yet. She would miss her clothes, but they could be re
placed. Axel shot a glance at her face and noticed where her eyes had rested, he grabbed her arm again and shook her.

  “Don’t you get no ideas. You do anything without asking permission first and I will beat the life out of you.”

  Elizabeth gripped the seat and wished she’d paid more attention when Jax, her sister’s foreman, had tried to teach her how to shoot. That seemed like so long ago, but really it had been only a few weeks. For the first time, Elizabeth hoped her family would figure out her scheme and come find her, fast. Her sister, Meg, was smart; she could do it. If Meg cared to do it.

  Every tiny bridge she may have had with her family was probably in smoldering cinders at that moment. She’d made a fool of their father in front of his family and all his men and tried to seduce Jax, all in one day. Then, when Jax hadn’t fallen for her plan immediately, she’d left for the North, following a newspaper ad Meg had conveniently left in the sitting room.

  Now she sat here, terrified, in the company of the man who’d placed that ad. Elizabeth wished not only that she’d never seen the ad, but practically wished she’d never learned to read.

  She sat on the swaying seat for what seemed like forever, but couldn’t have been more than about twenty minutes. Huge evergreen trees spired to the sky in a long line about a half-mile from the trail they were on, the grass grew long, up to her knee if she had to guess. She could hear the gentle rushing of a river in the distance and realized that must be the Rainy River. Canada was just on the other side, and so was Robert. She didn’t want to think about Axel or what might lay at the end of this trip, so she set her mind on Robert. He was the exact opposite of the man sitting next to her. Clean, confident, strong, caring; Robert was a man to be proud of. If only it had been Robert that placed the ad. Of course, he wouldn’t need to. He’d never mentioned a wife, but it was likely he had one. It really didn’t matter now; she’d never see him again. Her pulse slowed and her chest ached at the thought.