by Amy Ruttan
“Doubtful.”
“Have you talked to Sheila yet?”
“Who?” she asked, confused.
“Our mother.” Jack’s brow furrowed. “You should really talk to her.”
Lana ignored him. She didn’t want to discuss the person who’d abandoned them. “Are you too tired or are you going to come and surf with your sister for a bit?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “You’re going surfing in your condition?”
“I’m not that far along. I’m fine. If I don’t get it in now I won’t be able to.”
“Okay, you have a point. Yeah, let’s go. I don’t want you to pearl yourself out there. Andrew would kick my butt if anything happened to you.”
Lana snorted. “Yeah.”
Jack stopped and smiled at her tenderly. “Yeah, he would, Lana. I don’t know why you doubt yourself so much. You are worth it, but you don’t see it and I don’t get it.”
Lana’s heart swelled at her younger brother’s tenderness and her emotions got the better of her. “Come on, before the wind changes direction and we lose the waves.”
She waded out into the surf. The water was cold but it felt so good. She climbed onto her board and paddled out beside Jack. Her arms were noodling faster than they usually did, and the current was stronger than she was used to, but she swallowed her fear. She was going to conquer the pipeline today. Something she’d never been able to do.
As they continued to paddle she caught sight of the wave brewing. The wave that she’d tame today. She worked her arms hard and just as it began to crest she climbed on her board, catching the wave and popping up. She rode it, cycling herself in the pipeline, following the flow and motion of the water. She kept her balance and rode it, her soul screaming with joy, releasing every bit of tension and fear that she’d been carrying for so long. As she rode the pipeline, the turquoise water roaring in her ears and sparkling in the sunlight, she felt free for the first time in a long time.
As if nothing was going to stop her.
In that moment, while she conquered her fear of the big wave, she knew that she could conquer anything.
Even the thing she was scared of the most.
The pipeline shrank and she maneuvered her way out of it, crouching down and riding it until she was safe, out of harm’s way. She dropped into the water, going under and breaking through the surface. A baptism of spirit and soul. Lana clung to her board and watched Jack riding another large pipeline. Only he didn’t ride it so cautiously as she had done.
He was doing new school maneuvers that he would need to do in order to impress the judges at the International Surfing Championship in two weeks.
Jack was so free.
He didn’t have any hang-ups and she envied him that. She was envious of the life he led. He could go anywhere or do anything.
She had to stay here. Even more so now that she was expecting twins.
Here she had stability, a job and a home. She couldn’t give that up to see the world. To practice medicine far away from Oahu.
With the twins, that dream had sailed.
Staying in Oahu was her only choice.
It’s not. You’re just afraid to try.
“What do you think, sis?” Jack asked, paddling up to her.
“It’s great. You’ve got this, Jack.”
Jack grinned proudly. “Do you want to catch another one?”
“No. I do have a job to do.” She climbed on her board and paddled back to the shore. After climbing out of the buoyancy of the water, it felt as if she weighed a thousand pounds. Her body was completely exhausted.
She needed another shower before she headed to the hospital to make her rounds. When she tried to grab her board Jack took it from her.
“I got this, sis. You look tired. Go get ready for work. I’ll take care of your board for you.”
“Thank you, Keaka,” she gently teased him. He rolled his eyes but she kissed his cheek and headed back into the house, putting the ocean out of her mind.
Conquering that pipeline gave her a sense of accomplishment she hadn’t felt in some time, but that would be something she would have to keep to herself.
Just a secret memory she could cling to when she needed to remind herself that she was doing the right thing, the safe thing, by staying in Oahu and eventually taking over her father’s position.
She had more than herself to think of now.
* * *
“Dr. Tremblay speaking,” Andrew said, answering the phone in his office.
No one spoke on the other end, but he could hear breathing and some background noise.
“Hello?” he asked, confused.
“Why did you call?”
The voice sent a shot of dread through him. He hadn’t heard that voice in so long, except in his nightmares.
“Dad?” Andrew asked. “How did you get this number?”
“Why the hell did you call?” his father demanded once more; he was slurring.
Well, some things hadn’t changed.
“I didn’t call. You called me.”
“Don’t give me that crap. I know that you called her.”
“Who?” Andrew asked with dread, hoping that his father wouldn’t bring up his late sister. He didn’t want to talk about Meghan, or the guilt he felt about that situation.
“Your mother. You called her. Why?”
“I never called Mom. Go drink another one.” He slammed down the phone and it rang again. He ignored it, but it continued to ring over and over again.
“Hello,” he said in a cautious tone, knowing full well who would be on the other end. His father began to cuss a blue streak at him.
“How dare you? Who do you think you are, hanging up on me? You killed your sister! How dare you call your mother?”
“I didn’t call Mom.” And then in the background he heard crying, his mother begging her husband to stop, and Andrew’s heart broke. “Mom?”
“Don’t you be talking to her!” his father screamed. “I saw you called from your fancy new home in Oahu. Told your mother you got married, eh, and that you’re having a baby with your wife. I hope you don’t ki—”
Andrew lost his cool. “Don’t you even dare, old man. Don’t you even dare imply that. I didn’t kill Meghan. Our car hit a moose. She wasn’t wearing a seat belt. It wasn’t my fault. Being from the north, you, above all people, should know that! I couldn’t save her. She was my sister, and it kills me to know that I couldn’t help. That I had to leave her life in another surgeon’s hands. Even if I could, by law, have operated on her she still would’ve died. I don’t know why you care so much, though, when you were just as much of an asshole to her as you were to me. The only difference is she took it. She tried to keep the peace, to make you happy, to protect Mom, and you didn’t care one bit because you were and are just a monster.”
Andrew slammed down the phone again.
His hands were shaking—he was livid. He hadn’t called his mother. She’d been weak and stuck by his father’s side when he’d been disowned. She’d cut ties with him too, so why would he call her?
When they’d disowned him, he’d sworn that he would have nothing to do with them again. So the question remained—who’d called them? Was it the senior Dr. Haole? Was it the hospital?
The hospital wouldn’t tell your mother that you got married and were expecting twins.
“Hey,” Lana said as she entered the office and shut the door. She stopped in her tracks when their eyes met. “Whoa, what happened?”
“Did you call my parents, by any chance?”
She bit her lip. “I know you told me not to, but you’d had surgery and...they had a right to know.”
“God dammit, Iolana.” He slammed his fist against the desk. “They had no right to know
. They disowned me. I told you that. I didn’t want them knowing anything about my life. They don’t deserve to know.”
“They’re your parents,” she snapped. “They should know.”
“Oh? And have you told your mother what’s happening? No, that’s right, you dismissed her without hearing what she had to say.”
Her eyes narrowed and her face was like thunder. “That’s different.”
“How?” Andrew demanded hotly. “How is it different?”
“My mother left when I was a child.”
“And my parents left me when I was an adult. It’s the same damn thing.”
“Stop yelling at me. I was trying to help.”
Andrew scrubbed a hand over his face. “Well, you screwed things up royally.”
“And you’re so perfect? So blameless?”
He leaned over the desk. “Are you insinuating that I’m at fault for my sister’s death?”
“No, but you might as well be because of the way you carry it. You blame yourself. You believe them.”
Andrew saw red, because she was right. She’d hit close to home.
Even though he wasn’t responsible, he bore the burden. Every time he enjoyed an aspect of his life. Anytime he was close to being happy, he reminded himself of all that Meghan didn’t ever get to experience. He’d been such a doofus most of his life and Meghan had always been so good. She didn’t deserve to die.
He did. And he didn’t deserve happiness.
“You need to leave, Lana,” he said quietly. “You just have to go.”
“I’m not going until we work this out.”
“What is there to work out, Lana? This is a fake marriage. It’ll be over in a year. I applied to a position in California before we were married and once my green card comes in I’m leaving Oahu. You’ll never leave Oahu because who will take care of you then? Sorry I knocked you up, but you’ll manage with your dad’s help. If you can’t take care of yourself, he can take care of you, which is what you let him do. You let him control you. You may strut around here like some kind of queen, but inside you’re just a lost, lonely girl.”
The slap stung his face.
And she didn’t say another word to him. Just turned on her heel and walked out of his office. He held his hand up to where she’d struck him.
It burned. It hurt him right down to his core. The moment he’d said the words he regretted them, but it was for the best.
The words needed to be said.
There was no future for them because he didn’t deserve one. At least his kids would be well taken care of.
They would be better off without him. He wasn’t going to ruin Lana’s life like he did Meghan’s.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Two weeks later
LANA PICKED HER way through the crowd that had gathered in Waikiki for the International Surfing Championship. The wind was blowing offshore, which was making it perfect to catch waves. There were a lot of people from the International Surfing Commonwealth here. The ISC was where Andrew had applied to work. As soon as he got what he wanted, as soon as that green card came in, he was going to divorce her and head to California. She knew that.
But that’s what you agreed to.
She couldn’t think about Andrew. She hadn’t seen him in two weeks and though she wanted to believe it didn’t bother her, it did. There was a hole in her life. She was lonely, but he’d left her. So she was here for her brother, Jack. Not for Andrew, who had, as expected, crushed her heart so completely. She hated that she’d been right. That if she let herself fall in love with him he would break her heart.
And that was exactly what he’d done, but she supposed she’d had it coming to her.
She’d let her guard down and lost her heart. It was her fault. No one else was to blame but herself.
Now she had to make sure that her children were protected from Andrew, who apparently wanted nothing to do with them as he hadn’t even shown up at the obstetrician appointment. That had hurt her.
What did you expect?
She had just been trying to help, to make the peace by stretching out an olive branch to Andrew’s estranged parents.
Funny you can’t extend the same olive branch to your own mother.
Lana found a shady spot, high in the stands, where she could see all of the action. She pulled out her binoculars and watched the competitors. On one of the boats that patrolled the water for injured surfers she caught sight of Andrew and her stomach clenched.
He was grinning and wearing an ISC red shirt. It suited him and he looked happy out there. And a bad niggling thought crept into her mind that he was probably happier without her.
Because when she’d got home that night two weeks ago, he’d already moved out.
“Next up is local surfer Keaka Jack Haole Jr., from the beautiful Waikiki. Give it up for ISC contender Keaka!” The announcement blasted over the crowd.
Lana cheered her brother, even though he wouldn’t be able to hear her. She turned her binoculars over to the waves and caught sight of her brother and his bright neon-green surfboard. He caught a pipeline but wasn’t in the hollow; he was riding it high as he did his tricks, much to the delight of the crowd.
He’s going to win this.
And, just as he was about to perform a Shove-It, which was a tricky maneuver, his board flipped and he was tossed into the rocks.
Lana let out a cry and the boat with Andrew on board raced toward the rocks. She didn’t waste time as she climbed down off the bleachers and started running for the beach.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
“I’m sorry, miss, you can’t go past this point.” A security guard barred her entrance to the beach.
“I’m a doctor and Keaka Haole is my brother.”
The security guard let her past and she waited on the shore desperately.
It felt like an eternity that she waited.
She heard the distant sound of an ambulance making its way down the beach and then she saw the boat coming back from where Jack had been tossed. Lana waded out in the water after the boat stopped in the shallows. She could see Andrew had Jack strapped to a back board. There was blood everywhere and, just from a quick assessment, her brother was pretty mangled.
“Oh, God,” she whispered as she ran forward.
“Lana, you need to step back,” Andrew said gently. “It’s bad.”
Lana ignored him and helped carry the back board through the water. This was her brother, who she’d raised. He was all she had, the only man who had ever really seen her. She couldn’t lose her only ally in this world.
“Lana, I got this,” Andrew snapped.
“He’s my brother. I don’t care how bad it is. I’m not leaving his side,” she snapped back. “I’m here, Jack. I’m here.”
The paramedics took over and Andrew began to bark orders as they did the ABCs on Jack and started a central line. Jack was unconscious but breathing, but his trachea had been damaged, so they were inserting a tube.
Lana felt powerless as she knelt next to her brother in the sand, her hands covered in his blood.
The only man who really understood her. Who loved her. She couldn’t lose him. She would be lost without her brother.
“It’s okay, Jack. I’m here. I’m here.”
The paramedics got him stabilized and strapped down onto a gurney to take him to the hospital. They loaded him into the back and Andrew followed, but when Lana tried to climb in the paramedic stopped her.
“Sorry, miss. Only family.”
“It’s okay, she’s his sister and she’s a surgeon,” Andrew said.
The paramedic nodded and helped Lana up, shutting the door and then climbing into the front, while another paramedic in the back continued to monitor Jack.
“
Thank you,” Lana said quickly, not looking at Andrew, because she couldn’t look at the man who’d broken her heart.
“You’re welcome.” Then he raked a hand through his hair. “Lana, there’s... Look, I...”
“No, I don’t want to talk about it, Andrew.” She shook her head. “Not now. My brother is clinging to life and that’s all that matters.”
Andrew nodded.
She kept her focus on Jack during the ride to the hospital. Which felt like an eternity.
Once the ambulance door opened she jumped out and ran into the trauma department.
“Someone page my father to Trauma, stat!” she shouted.
Dr. Page, one of the residents, ran off to a phone and Lana turned back to the paramedics wheeling Jack in. Andrew was helping them.
“Page a trauma surgeon,” Andrew shouted. He was barking orders as they wheeled Jack into a trauma pod. A crash cart was pushed into the room and Andrew was putting on a gown. All Lana could do was stand back and watch in horror as the paramedics handed Jack over to Andrew and the trauma surgeon, Dr. Rodman, who had come rushing into the pod.
“Iolana, what’s going on?” her father said as he came rushing toward the pod. Then his eyes widened in shock. “You’re covered in blood!”
“It’s not me,” Lana said and she held her father back. “It’s Jack. A wave tossed him and it’s bad, Dad. It’s really bad.”
Her father raked a hand through his hair. “I told him not do it. I told him it was dangerous.”
“Yeah, but he loves it, Dad! He did something he’s passionate about, just like you. You two are so alike.”
Her father snorted. “We are not alike, Lana.”
“You are both exactly alike. You’re stubborn, unbending and you both nag me until you get what you want!”
Her father’s eyes widened as the words came out of her mouth.
“I raised Jack so I know that he’s like you. He just did what he felt passionately about. Just because he didn’t follow your path doesn’t mean that his path wasn’t right.”
“His path led him to this, Iolana. He might die!” her father shouted.
