F*ck You: Knox Academy - Term One

by Jaye Cox

  Sawyer manoeuvres me into a choke hold while I’m distracted, and it doesn’t help with the wetness situation down south. I give a helpless whimper.

  “Amelie, you have to work harder. You know, given the upbringing you claim to have had, with such a wonderful protective brother, I’d have thought you’d already know some of this.”

  His words are a sharp stabbing pain in my gut. I pull out of his grip and stare at him in dismay.

  “I don’t even know where to begin with telling you what was wrong with that statement!” I cry, angrily. “Don’t you talk about my brother; you don’t know shit! He did teach me to defend myself. It saved my life a couple of times! But I’m not ‘claiming’ anything about my upbringing. I have no reason to lie; life was fucking tough, and I had to be too, if I wanted to survive.”

  “Self-defence, when taught properly, can save your life,” he lectures.

  “Really? So learning this growing up would save me against an attack by a bigger, stronger, older man?”

  “Yes,” he replies adamantly.

  “Could it save someone from being kidnapped by six bigger, stronger, older men?” I challenge, and he hesitates. “Would it have saved me from what happened after? Could a fifteen-year-old girl take on six nineteen-year-old guys, all intent on hurting her?”

  “Amelie—”

  “Can. Your. Stupid,” I punctuate each word with a flurry of furious punches aimed at his solar plexus. He doesn’t even try to stop me. “Self-defence lessons...prevent gang rape?!” I give one final hard shove, unleashing years of pent-up agony and rage at Sawyer.

  He stumbles. Falls. Hits the floor hard. The stunned silence of the room deafens me. Holy shit…I did it! From the look on Sawyer’s face, he’s just as shocked as I am. He didn’t let me win.

  “Why were you sent to Knox Academy?” I demand, standing over him with my hands on my hips. “You owe me this at least.”

  I don’t see his attack coming; he swipes my feet out from under me and I go down harder than a sack of rocks.

  “Fuck!” I swear when I hit my tail bone. That really fucking hurts. Tears prick at my eyes and I wonder if it’s broken. It has to be badly bruised at least.

  Before I can say another word, Sawyer flips so that he’s on top of me, straddling me. All thought leaves me, along with my breath. It’s like time freezes and I can’t tear my gaze away from his slate-grey eyes.

  “You look really pretty today,” he says. “I like the natural, messy look on you.”

  I’m floored by what can only be an actual, in my face, compliment but before I can respond, or even process, his lips descend on mine and I’m blown away.

  I don’t know if it’s my imagination, but his kiss is hotter than ever. His lips sear mine, branding and burnishing them; like he’s claiming them for himself. There’s a possessiveness to his kiss that wasn’t there before, and I wonder if he’s making a point about Kalen. It feels like he’s trying to remind me that he had me first, that he’s a man while Kalen’s still a boy.

  I groan, and it allows his tongue easy access into my mouth. His kiss becomes punishing. Bruising in its intensity. Is this a hate-kiss? It certainly feels like a crime of passion. And it is a crime. Sawyer should not be kissing me. We both know it. His hand finds my breast, cupping it roughly and then squeezing. I gasp and he bites my lip harshly. My hips buck against his and his arousal presses against me. Fuck. He wants this as much as I do. I’m scared to move and break the spell, but I so want to touch him. I drag my nails down his bare chest and he hisses into my mouth, grinding his cock against my core. He likes a little pain too. I just can’t imagine it being this heated with Kalen. I want to beg Sawyer to fuck me right here, right now – I don’t care if we’re caught – but I keep quiet. That is, until his hand slides into my yoga pants, south to my clit and brushes against it. I yelp and buck against him.

  Abruptly, he pulls away, leaving me bereft.

  “Sawyer...I.” I have no idea what I’m going to say.

  But it turns out it doesn’t matter anyway, because he turns on his heel and storms out of the gym, without a word. My eyes fill with unwelcome tears that threaten to spill. The door bangs shut behind him, and the everlasting echo it creates is like a taunt, reminding me how I’m still alone and rejected once more. Bitter tears begin to stream down my hot cheeks, and I don’t do a thing to stop them.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I can’t stop replaying what happened between Sawyer and I on Wednesday. It’s Monday now and I’ve been able to think of nothing else all week; it has me reeling. I know he feels the pull. I hate that it is there as much as he does. But I do wish he wouldn’t keep denying it.

  “Wait up, sis,” Kalen calls from across the dining room. I’m just getting my dinner and about to head to a seat when Kalen enters the room and yells to me.

  “I’m not your sister, Kalen,” I say through gritted teeth for the hundredth time, when he joins me. It feels like this exchange has replaced the standard greeting of “hello” between us.

  “Thank God for that, because I want to ask you out.”

  “No.” There is no way he is asking me to be his girlfriend, we really don’t know each other and our family situation isn’t ideal. I sigh and walk away, finding an empty table to sit at. Elsie isn’t here yet, so I save her a seat with my bag. Kalen picks up my bag and tosses it on the next seat, before sinking into the one that I was saving. I grind my teeth together in annoyance, but don’t say anything. I’m learning that it’s pointless with Kalen, especially when he has his mind already set on something.

  “Hear me out…just one date. Then I’ll be happy.”

  “Still no. We’re friends and that’s all we can be.”

  “The date will be really friendly if you want it to be.” He grins and winks.

  “Kalen,” I warn.

  “Fine. I will have to take to public humiliation.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  Kalen smiles – a slow sly grin that stretches from ear to ear – and I can see it written on his face; I just said the wrong thing. Of course he sees that as a challenge issued.

  “Listen up, everyone!” he calls to the whole room. Immediately the place falls silent and every pair of eyes is on us. I’m already starting to heat under the unwanted attention. “Amelie right here…” I throw myself at him and cover his mouth.

  “I don’t trust anything you would have said right now!” I panic and crumble like a soggy biscuit. “Fine! We can go on ONE friendly date...as friends,” I quickly correct what I’ve just said, because Kalen’s idea of a friendly date is not what I was agreeing to. “One normal, polite, first date, as friends only. No touching.” He laughs. As if that boy will be polite. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself if his life depended on it.

  “I’ll pick you up in a few hours.” He grins. He steals a chip from my plate, kisses me on the cheek, and saunters away like he’s king of the world. I groan. What the fuck have I let myself in for?

  ***

  It’s late when Kalen picks me up by throwing small stones at my bedroom window. It’s past curfew for sure. I hope that if we get caught sneaking off campus, I might have some sort of immunity from reprimand if I’m with the headmaster’s son.

  “Kalen,” I hiss, leaning out of the window. “What are you doing?”

  “Sorryyyyyy, sish,” he slurs. Well that explains why he’s late; he’s drunk. But why?

  “Kalen, go home to bed.” I shake my head. I’m not going on a date with a drunk guy.

  “What time is it?” Kalen asks.

  “I don’t know, hang on, I’ll check.” I stick my head back into my room to check the time.

  “IT’S DATE TIME!” Kalen yells for all the world to hear. Like lightning, I’m out of the window and dropping down to try to shut him up.

  “Kalen! Stop! You’re going to get us both in trouble.”

  “Pah! Why do you care? Thought you wanted to leave and get kicked out?”

  “I
never said that,” I deny. Did I? If I did, that would have been pretty stupid of me, but in truth, I don’t remember much of my birthday night.

  “Come play with me! I’m in the mood to party and I know exactly how to get you in trouble.” I can’t help but laugh at his sloppy, drunken enthusiasm. He’s cute like this. But trying to sneak off campus would be a recipe for disaster.

  “Kalen—” I try to reason but he starts scream-singing 'Don't You Want Me’. I do the only thing I can think of to shut him up; I plant my lips on his, swallowing the next words out of his mouth so that only a soft, surprised “oh” escapes.

  “Let’s go,” I say when I pull away a moment later. He grins like the cat that’s got the cream, and I realise I played right into his hands. I briefly wonder if he’s even drunk but then he stumbles over his own feet and face-plants the floor. I pull him back up and drape his arm over my shoulder in his favourite position as I help him cut across campus towards the area where Baxter took me off site on his bike.

  It takes longer than expected to hurry a drunken, vociferous Kalen to the clearing where the bike is chained up. I dump him on the floor while I quickly input the padlock code and unchain the motor.

  “Cool bike. I didn’t know you liked to ride,” Kalen slurs before sniggering at his own lame-ass joke. I briefly wonder who should wear the helmet; me as the driver, or him as the most likely to fall off. I decide to just stick it on the grass til we get back, because I don’t fancy wrestling Kalen into it. I turn to the bike to see Kalen straddling it.

  “Hop on, sis, I’ll take you for the ride of your life.”

  “Cute. But you’re in my spot,” I point out. “Move.”

  “Awww come on, I ride these things all the time.”

  “And you want to explain to your dad how you killed his mistress’s most precious child while joyriding a hot bike, under the influence?” I go heavy on the sarcasm, but it works; he sulks but slides back to the pillion position.

  “Thank you,” I reply, climbing on. I kick the engine to life and call over my shoulder, “hold on”. Kalen’s arms immediately circle my body and capture my breast in his hands. “Not what I meant, Kalen!” I cry, exasperated. This was a really bad idea.

  “Oh hey, this is awesome! I should bitch-ride more often! Why does no one fondle my junk when I’m riding?”

  “Because you probably drive like such a nutter that they’d squeeze your monster cock clean off.”

  “Hehehe I knew my dick impressed you.” He sniggers.

  “No talking. We’re going.” I don’t give him time to reply, putting the bike in gear, kicking up the side stand and gently easing the throttle. I’m not about to gun it out of here or drive wild if Kalen’s not able to hold on properly. And he’s not, because he’s currently massaging my chest and crooning unintelligibly in my ear.

  This boy drives me to distraction but makes me laugh every step of the way. Just when I think I’m reaching breaking point with him, he does something sweet to make me melt all over again. He’s more dangerous than any of his brothers for that very reason. I could catch real feelings for him far too easily.

  I drive into the nearest town and am lucky enough to find an all-night diner serving food. I park, let Kalen off, and then kill the engine and lower the side stand on the bike. I don’t bother to lock it up, it’s crazy late – or early – and there’s no one around. I drag Kalen into the diner, and he picks out a window booth for us to sit in. He slides across to make room for me but when I try to take the seat opposite he pulls me down so that I fall practically face first into his lap.

  “Alright! Okay! I’ll sit by you,” I grumble. He beams – I’m starting to recognise it’s his trademark when he gets his own way – and slings his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. At this point, I let him. Anything for an easy life. I just pray he doesn’t start singing and get us kicked out. I have no idea where I’d take him.

  “What can I get you?” a tired, bored and jaded-looking server asks us. I put down the menu and order for the both of us.

  “A pot of coffee please. Strong. A strawberry milkshake…no make that a coke spider—”

  “Float...I want one!” Kalen whines, interrupting me.

  “Two coke floats,” I clarify. “A stack of pancakes with all the toppings and a ‘Belly Buster’ fry up please, hold the mushrooms but extra hash browns.”

  The woman looks at me dubiously like I’m either about to waste food, or do a runner without paying, so I elbow Kalen in the ribs. He gets the hint, pulls out his wallet and chucks a load of cash down on the table. Satisfied that we’re not about to run off, she turns away to place our order. She returns wordlessly with our drinks a few minutes later.

  “Geez, what crawled up her ass and died?” Kalen complains loudly.

  “Shush! Don’t be rude or she’ll spit in your food.”

  “Maybe she has radioactive spit and I’ll turn into a spider.” He frowns. “No, wait, that’s not right.”

  “Drink your coffee, goofball,” I laugh.

  “Can’t stand the stuff. I want what you’ve got!” He makes a blind, clumsy dive for my glass and I only just manage to save it in time. I move his out of reach and push the coffee cup closer.

  “Nu-uh.” I tut. “When you’ve had two cups of coffee you can have yours.”

  “No fair!”

  “Mmmm, it’s so good,” I tease him, groaning, taking a long drink from my straw. His eyes alight with heat and he leans in to kiss me, licking the ice cream foam from the corner of my mouth.

  “Damn, I never knew it could taste so good.” We stare at each other for a moment and I’m sure he’s about to kiss me – really kiss me – again, when the spell’s broken by the server slamming our plates down in front of us.

  “Anything else?” she snarks.

  “A smile would be lovely.” Kalen beams at her. I kick him and apologise to the grumpy server, who glowers and leaves. “Bye, Brenda!” Kalen calls. “Ow, what did you do that for?” he moans, turning on me.

  “You were being rude. What did I say before?” His brow creases and he honest to God can’t remember shit, so I sigh and dig in. He copies.

  “So, are you going to tell me what happened?” I prompt. I know that with the greasy food and the coffee he’s about to sober up – and clam up – real quick, so I need to get him talking, fast.

  “I may have had a little drink or two before I came out.”

  “Kalen, I know we didn’t set a solid time for this date, but even I know you were hours late.”

  “I needed Dutch courage to take you out,” he protests.

  “Bullshit. Tell me the truth or I’m going.”

  “Okay, fine! If you must know, I wasn’t exactly subtle in the dining hall earlier…”

  “When are you ever,” I chuckle. I open my mouth and Kalen feeds me some pancake with strawberry.

  “Well, word of our date got back to my brothers…they paid me a little visit.”

  “And?” I say, forcing down the mouthful that I hadn’t finished chewing as dread claws its way up my spine.

  “They told me – though that’s putting it politely – that I needed to choose. Them or you.”

  “What did you do?” I whisper. Because I know who he chose. He’s here, isn’t he?

  “I told them there was no contest. It’s them. Always would be.” Confusion, hurt and disappointment stab through me. “Bros before hoes and all that. So they dragged me out to celebrate. I think they planned to make sure I was too wasted to try to sneak back to you.” He grins proudly before his face falls and darkens. “They always underestimate me. They all do.”

  “But you were wasted,” I point out.

  “Never too wasted to find you, sis,” he says, and damn it sounds like a promise that makes my heart soar.

  “Eat up,” I instruct, struggling to hide my smile. “You’ve got coffee to finish before I make a start on your coke float,” I threaten with a smile.

  We fall into an easy silence
, picking food from each other’s plates and feeding each other titbits. It’s honestly the most relaxed and happy I’ve felt in a long time. The easy camaraderie between us reminds me of Smalls back home.

  Eventually we get to talking about our lives, our upbringings and our families. Before it all gets too heavy though, Kalen changes the subject and declares it’s time for a language lesson. He wants to teach me British slang and swear words and insists that I teach him Australian.

  We probably spend another hour messing around, calling each other ‘dickweasle’ (my favourite, I’m going to have to start using that) and ‘fuckstick’, which Kalen declares is his favourite word in the world and plans to use it on everyone as soon as he gets back to school.

  As expected, once Kalen sobers up, he changes. He’s embarrassed and unwilling to talk about anything serious, but he keeps me laughing until the server who’s been glaring at us for hours, stomps over and demands that we leave. Kalen pays the bill, kisses her on the cheek and slips a fifty into her apron pocket. She blinks in astonishment, shakes her head and almost cracks a smile. Joke’s on her; Kalen’s made a right mess spilling his float on the window and it’s going to be a bitch to clean.

  The ride back to school is uneventful and I manage to chain the bike up and put the helmet back where I found it. For a second I think it moved from where I left it, but I quickly dismiss the thought. Kalen probably knocked it when he was climbing off.

  “Come on,” Kalen grins, grabbing my hand and taking off at speed through the trees.

  “Kalen, wait! Where are we going?”

  “I know a place! You’re going to love it!”

  “Kalen, we start school in a couple of hours, we should get some sleep.” Doing this on a school night was such a bad idea. Shit how much coffee did he drink? I suddenly remember Sawyer telling me that Kalen has ADHD and I want to kill myself for being so stupid! Shit, is he going to be okay? Suddenly I’m too scared to leave him alone, so I stop trying to fight him and let him tug me wherever he wants. He grins at me over his shoulder when he feels my resistance crumble.