Impossibly Love

by Morgan, Shane

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Moya

  I whined the entire walk over to the sorority house with Vanessa. She wouldn’t take no for an answer so I ended up going to make her happy.

  Stopping at the entrance, she spun me around to face her as she advised, “Be nice, and mingle a little.”

  I rolled my eyes, slipped out of her grip and sauntered into the party, Vanessa pranced in beside me. She had no problem sexing it up, in her black laced mini dress with three quarter sleeves and matching five inch stiletto cutout booties. I was more minimal, wearing dark skinny jeans, black pointed toe embellished flats, and a studded shoulder chiffon button-down blouse and a black blazer.

  Glancing around, I realized Vanessa was right about who would attend. The guys were mostly beefy athletes or wannabe contenders. And the girls seemed like groupies. It was definitely not my crowd. Then again, I never had a crowd.

  Vanessa spotted Calvin and I kept my eyes on the punch bowl. As she wondered off to her boyfriend’s side, I maneuvered over to the refreshments table, sniffing the punch discretely to see if it had been spiked before scooping some out to fill my cup. My little behavior didn’t go unnoticed.

  “I do that too, sometimes,” A deep and seductive voice said.

  I turned to see who it was. “Tobias, hi…” I said, feeling awkward because I’d stood him up two nights ago.

  Tobias strode closer, a shrewd smile on his face. He didn’t look half bad in his navy blue polo shirt. The sleeves were rolled up, clearly trying to showcase his expensive watch. However, even I could appreciate that Tobias was all sorts of yumminess with his mouthwatering, chocolate-covered, flawlessly sculpted body. At the corner of my eye, I glimpsed a few girls drooling over him.

  “It’s nice seeing you here, Moya. Too bad you couldn’t make it for dinner the other night,” he said, looking down his nose at me as he took a sip of whatever it was he was drinking.

  I played with my curls in uneasiness. “Yeah, about that, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it.”

  “It’s cool. No worries.”

  Tobias scrutinized me from top to bottom, licking his lips as he did. So much for being a nice guy. That was genuinely creepy.

  I started to feel uncomfortable so I made up an excuse to walk away. “Well, I’ll see you around. I have to take care of some stuff before driving home.”

  He reached for my elbow before I could move. “Oh, hey, just a sec.”

  I turned to fully engage him. “Tobias, I’m sure you’re a great guy. But I really don’t have time for anything right now besides school.”

  His eyes widened as if my remark was absurd, and a speck of disappointment flashed within. “Vanessa told me you were apprehensive about dating, said you were afraid of commitment.”

  “Oh did she?” I glared over to where Vanessa and Calvin were dancing. She winked and waved knowingly. I bit my bottom lip in frustration. I disliked how she would go out of her way to explain me to guys so they’d think I needed to be fixed.

  “Listen, there’s no rush,” Tobias went on. “I’m willing to wait for you to sort yourself out. Just spend some time with me as you do.”

  I sighed, putting my cup down on the table. “I have nothing to sort out. I don’t want to date anyone right now.”

  Tobias backed up, a new light of realization appearing on his muscular face. “Oh, I’m sorry. Is it that you haven’t come out of the closet as yet?” He looked over to Vanessa then back at me. “Your friend doesn’t know? She didn’t mention a thing to me.”

  Shaking my head in confusion, I asked, “Know what?”

  “That you’re a lesbian,” he said matter-of-factly, leaning in close so no one could hear.

  My laugh broke free at his words, the sound soft and filled with a cynicism that I surprised even myself. “Oh right, so, because I’m not interested in a suitable young man like yourself I’m obviously a lesbian. Please, get over yourself, Tobias. You ain’t all that.” My eyes swept over his body in a dismissive manner as I walked away.

  Seconds later I heard him grunt, “Such a…” He held his tongue. Good thing he did. If I’d heard the word I probably would’ve spun on my heels and bitch-slapped the hell out of Tobias in front of everyone.

  That was the main reason why I hated parties, high school or college. Because whenever I’d be approached by a guy all the girls wanted, there had to be something wrong with me for turning him down.

  I decided to leave the party early, storming out while Vanessa stayed behind with Calvin. I was too irritated to stay in the same vicinity as Tobias at that moment, and I needed air to calm myself down before the drive home to Berlin Heights.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Branden

  There was no way I’d make it to the party after my session earlier in the day. It was all very intense; especially with my mother there voicing her opinion and overlooking mine. Because of that, I decided to spend the weekend in the dorm and avoid going home, only to elude the misery.

  Walking from the parking lot after getting back on campus, I spotted Moya hurrying down the path toward me. As pissed off as she seemed, I still couldn’t prevent myself from checking her out. Those jeans certainly complimented her sexy curves. And wow, her beautiful shiny curls bounced with every conquering step she took.

  Storming right by me as if I was invisible, I grabbed her hand gently to slow her down. Moya twisted with irritation then relaxed her face a bit seeing it was me.

  “Hey, are you alright?” I asked.

  Moya wrung her hand out of my grasp as she retorted, “I’m fine, just sick of stupidity.”

  I felt concerned. “Did something happen at the party?”

  Shaking her head, Moya let out a long breath. “It’s this idiot…uh…why am I talking to you, anyway.” She concluded bitterly. “You’re all the same.”

  I followed behind as Moya continued down the path. “Are you heading for your car? I’ll go with you. Moya, you shouldn’t be walking alone at night.” I advised.

  “Ha, I can take care of myself. Save that nonsense for some other girl who’s easily impressed.”

  “Why are you so angry?” I finally asked.

  She froze in her tracks.

  Moya took a moment then turned to face me. Her eyes narrowed in rage as she walked back. “I am not angry! Why does everybody say that because I refuse to let any guy take advantage of me?” She pointed a finger at me as she continued, “Don’t say you’re one of the exceptions because I notice you checking out my body every single time we come in contact. So, I’m pretty sure you’re not interested in really getting to know me.”

  She folded her arms abruptly as her chest heaved, waiting for me to say something in defense. It was as if she lived life in that way, always wanting to put up a fight and never surrender, even if there was no battle to begin with.

  I lowered my head, exasperated, not toward Moya, because of the sickening pain starting to rip me apart from inside my chest.

  “What’s the matter, Branden, nothing to say?” She asked sarcastically while tapping her foot.

  There wasn’t much I could say when I was so focused on hiding my discomfort. Without looking up into her lovely brown eyes, I whispered, “I’m sorry…I have to go.”

  Pressing my hand against my chest as the agony intensified, I swiveled and walked away slowly.

  Moya followed closely behind. “Are you okay?” she asked in a worried tone. It surprised me.

  “Yeah,” My voice was straining for dignity.

  Moya fell in stride beside me, inspecting my body. “You don’t look okay. You’re barely moving.”

  I didn’t have the strength to try and persuade her, so I kept walking up the path toward my dorm in silence. To my amazement, Moya continued along with me, not uttering another word.

  The moment I approached the residence hall, I searched in my pockets for my identification card to open the main door. I fumbled before sliding it through the security lock, nearly losing my balance.

 
Moya gripped my arm, trying to keep me steady. I felt a flare of excitement at her touch that sent a shock through me. It briefly superseded the pain.

  She spoke with great concern, “You’re definitely not okay. Maybe you should go to the—”

  “It’s the weekend, no one’s here in health services. I’m alright. I need some rest, that’s all.”

  She released my arm and took the card out of my hand to unlock the door for me. Unexpectedly, I was seeing another side to Moya, a tenderness she tried so hard to conceal.

  I enjoyed the moment a bit too much it seemed, as Moya gave me a questionable look when she turned to see me gawking at her. I was probably smiling too much.

  She shoved the ID against my aching chest. “Here’s your card, asshole. Goodnight.”

  Oh great. Moya must have perceived everything to be an act. That I wasn’t ill at all, simply trying to get her inside my room. I deliberated calling after her to explain as she walked hurriedly back down the path. Maybe it was best to leave it like that. After all, my secret was still safe.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Moya

  Bright and early Saturday morning, Vanessa and I went jogging around the scenic Fuller Park in our home town of Berlin Heights. She phoned me the night before saying she was sorry I drove home by myself, but that she really wanted to spend a little time with Calvin. That was understandable since he was getting super busy with Basketball.

  The run couldn’t clear my head, though. No matter how bright and lovely the morning was, or how refreshing the atmosphere, I was thinking about my run-in with Branden the night before.

  While Vanessa probed about Tobias and the party, I fumed over Branden’s behavior. “I can’t believe he was fooling around.”

  Fighting for air, she slowed me down and asked, “Who was fooling around?”

  Sweat dripped from her braids as she drooped over and drank water.

  I sucked in air as I answered, “Branden.”

  Vanessa gave me a dubious look. “Um, this is about Tobias and the way you shot him down last night and left the party. He said you were angry with him for no reason.” Yeah, right, no reason my ass. I guess he failed to mention calling me a lesbian.

  I waved her off as I tightened the lid on my water bottle. “Whatever, I told him I’m not looking to start anything, so emphasize that the next time you see him.”

  I began jogging again, picking up the pace when Vanessa tried to catch me.

  “Hey,” she called out. “No fair.”

  I laughed. “Keep up and stop dragging ass!”

  Running all the way back to where we started, I finally slowed down and waited for Vanessa. We both hunched over again, panting.

  “You’re…just…scared…” she gasped between words, struggling to breathe normally. “Love…is…a beautiful…thing…”

  “I doubt love is what Tobias wants to give me,” I mocked. “Besides, I’m a lesbian. So why is he still pursuing me?”

  Vanessa laughed, bumping my arm limply. “He called you that? No wonder he was worried he turned you off completely.”

  She finally retrieved the strength to stand up straight. “What about Branden then?”

  I coughed as too much water rushed down my throat. “What about him?” I feigned innocence.

  Vanessa gripped my elbow, heaving me down the sidewalk in the direction of our homes. “Don’t give me that. Branden is obviously into you, so, why not him if not Tobias?”

  “Umm, hello, did you not hear what I said? I’m not looking for anything from anyone. Besides, he proved to be like all the rest when he pretended to feel sick and tried to lure me back to his dorm room last night.”

  We stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the walk signal. Vanessa continued, “Did he invite you in?”

  “No, I didn’t give him the chance to—”

  “Are you sure he was faking then?” she asked as the lights changed and we crossed the street.

  “He had a cunning grin on his face after I unlocked the door for him. That gave him away.” I said.

  Vanessa stopped walking and threw her hands up in the air. “That could mean anything, Moya.”

  “Like what?” I asked, thinking there was no other explanation for Branden smiling that way after putting on a show. I still wanted to hear her out, though.

  We turned on the street that led to my house and Vanessa brought me to a stop. “Like, I don’t know, maybe he was really feeling sick. And, he probably was stunned to see you being so nice.” She laughed. “Not everyone is used to that.”

  I shoved her lightly. “Whatever. Are you having dinner with us tonight?”

  She cocked her head. “Don’t change the subject. Girl, I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I seriously think you should stop treating the male specie like they’re the enemy.”

  I sighed, wiped beams of sweat from my nose, and considered what she’d just said. “Okay, so are you saying I should jump on every one of them who approach me?”

  Vanessa laughed, “No, girl. I’m saying just one, give one a chance. You never know.”

  I rubbed my forehead and muttered, “Maybe.”

  A satisfied smile appeared on her face. For now, Vanessa was willing to accept at least a ‘maybe.’

  “Anyway, are you having dinner with us later?” I asked again.

  She nodded. “Sure. See you later.” Vanessa waved as she turned the corner and headed for her house.

  I could smell Momma’s blueberry pancakes from the sidewalk as I hurried up the walkway to our brick home. I took my time opening the front door, tiptoeing across the foyer into the kitchen to sneak up on her. She loved a good laugh, and I enjoyed messing with her.

  Drawing closer to her back as she stood at the stove, I was convinced I had her. But then she chuckled as I approached. “I can hear you breathing, Moya.”

  I slouched in disappointment. I’ve never been able to really catch her off-guard. Hugging Momma from behind, I gave her a peck on the cheek. “Mmm…smells good.”

  “Indeed. Now get your sweaty behind off me.”

  Momma filled two plates with scrambled eggs and I helped by bringing over the blueberry pancakes and syrup to our little, and oval, chestnut breakfast table.

  Settling down, I admired all she’d done. “Oh, Momma, thank you. You didn’t have to rush to do this before going to work. I could’ve fixed something to eat later.”

  She kissed me on the forehead then sat in the chair beside me. “Now you stop. I only get to see my baby on weekends now so of course I’m gonna feed you good. Lord knows what you’re eating so far away.”

  I sniffed. “Jeez, Momma, I’m not so far away. I’m still in Maryland, just not in Baltimore. Harrington is less than an hour’s drive from Berlin Heights. I didn’t go that far.”

  She bit down on her blueberry pancake and rolled her eyes. “You make it sound like I forced you to go. Remember, you got a good scholarship that covers everything. Besides, it’s important that you experience life away from home to get the hang of it. That’s what my parents taught me. I was on my own at seventeen, two years younger than you are now.”

  Momma stopped eating. She rested her fingers on her fork, nails tapping an absent rhythm against the stem. Her dark eyes clouded, only to stare in the distance as though she were caught in the grips of some memory. “Can’t believe how strong I was then,” she muttered, her voice was so soft it surprised me.

  The moment passed, but it left its mark in the form of a small, secretive smile that teased the corners of her lips. She picked her fork up, shaking it at me before using it to spear another pancake. “You’re lucky, you know.”

  “Yep, I know, because you always remind me,” I teased.

  She pointed her fork at me. “Watch it,” Then went back to eating. “How’s your second year going so far?”

  “So far, so good,” I sang.

  She gazed up from her plate. “Hmm hmm…I saw a Mrs. Watson the other day at work. In fact, I think that w
oman showed up at Thompson’s on purpose to complain to me. She said you were supposed to have dinner with her son on Tuesday night and you didn’t show up. Who’s this Tobias and how come I’ve never heard about him before? Did he go to Berlin Heights High School?”

  Her questions were spilling over like a waterfall. I felt dazed. “Momma, it doesn’t matter who he is because I’m not interested in him. I don’t know why he had his mommy seek you out, either. That’s ridiculous.”

  She sighed and wrinkled her forehead. “Moya, I worry about you sometimes. Your dad—”

  “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.” I assured her. “It’s almost 9 o’clock. You have to get to work, don’t you?”

  She shot up from the chair and took the red satin hair wrap off her head. Momma’s curls fell off her shoulders as she bent over to hug me. They were much longer than mine.

  I felt the usual warmth of her embrace as she tightened her arms around my body. “Alright, I see you’re trying to dodge the topic by chasing me off. Love you baby. See you later.”

  “See ya Momma. Love you too.” I replied with my mouth stuffed with pancakes.

  My eyes followed her as she grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter and hurried out the front door.

  Momma was like Vanessa, always bugging me to give someone a chance. Their constant pushing had me fed up to the point where I actually considered my attitude towards guys.

  Truth be told, it wasn’t my intention to come off livid to every guy I met. I was only guarding myself from obvious heartache. Still, it never bothered me as much before when other guys called me cold. But why did it hit me differently when Branden said it?

  “No.” I shook my head, talking to myself while at the kitchen sink, washing dishes. “Vanessa’s wrong. Branden is just like the rest of them.” Wasn’t he?

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Branden

  After being cooped up in my dorm the past two days, I was up and about by Sunday evening, walking around the shopping plaza near Easton U. I sat on one of the benches by the water fountain in the center and watched the faces of everyone that went by: some happy, few full of resentment, and some unreadable.