Life doesn't make any sense sometimes.
"I'm sorry Elle. I'd give you my spot if I could." I squeeze her hand.
She smiles at me, squeezing mine back. "I know. Thanks. But I'll be fine." She looks away, her usually animated face wan. "Maybe we should talk about something else."
I nod. I could use some lighter topics too.
So we talk about school, clothes, our parents. The usual stuff, taking our minds off everything else.
It helps. But we eventually have to go back to real life.
"I'll talk to you later," I say as we hug goodbye.
"Yeah," she agrees, hugging me tight. "See you soon."
We separate on the street with a wave.
I don't really pay attention as I walk, my mind occupied as my feet automatically take me back to Grandmother's building.
Things are changing fast. Life is happening. It's what I wanted. For the next chapter to start, to get away from the rut of my life. I just thought I'd feel like I'd have more control over it at this point. But it actually feels like I have even less.
The doorman scans me in and I take the elevator up to her place, where she's waiting for me as usual. Reminds me of Mom, actually. They may not be as different as they think they are.
A strange thing to think about when I consider their strained relationship. But maybe that's exactly why it is so strained.
"Why aren't you wearing the clothes I bought for you?" she demands as she sees my jeans and beat up sneakers.
"I was just going to the arcade. I didn't want to mess them up," I explain.
Or look like I was going to a polo match. I didn't ask for new clothes, and they really aren't my style at all. I've been doing my best to avoid wearing them.
Grandmother sniffs at my explanation. "Maybe you shouldn't be going to these arcades if you cannot dress properly there. Who were you with?"
"Elle," I say shortly, dropping down on the couch, resigned to another lecture. They just blend together at this point really.
"How many times have I told you, you can't be spending time with people like Elle." She shakes her head as she sits down across from me. "You need to surround yourself with people who have similar goals and aspirations. People who will lift you up, not pull you down."
Uh huh. Sounds like networking more than friendship. I wonder if Grandmother even has any real friends.
"Elle's one of my best friends, Grandmother," I say tiredly. "I can't just end things with her."
"Of course you can," she says stiffly. "And you need to. Dead weight must be cut free so you can reach your potential. I cannot support you if you continue to go against my wishes and sabotage your own future in this manner. I cannot give you a better life if you refuse to put in the work to improve yourself, young lady!"
I feel my stomach drop at that. Lose Elle? My friends are the only thing keeping me sane right now!
And I know Grandmother means what she's saying. She doesn't make idle threats.
I sit there, not knowing what to say. I know I'm not willing to lose my friends.
But, for once, luck is on my side. A musical chiming interrupts our conversation. Grandmother has a visitor. I breathe a silent sigh of relief for the temporary reprieve.
"Yes?" Grandmother calls out, frowning in irritation.
"There is a Zane here to see Ms. Ruby," the doorman explains in his cheerful voice. "Should I allow him entry?"
Grandmother's narrowed eyes meet mine as my heart clenches in my chest.
Zane.
Zane is here.
She is so not happy to hear that name.
And I don't know what to feel.
Chapter 14
Zane
I pull at my cuffs.
Not because my button down needs any adjusting. I just don't spend a lot of my time in crisp shirts and slacks. That's more Herne's department. It feels like I'm wearing someone else's stuff. But I'm coming to see Ruby at her Grandmother's and I want to make a better impression this time.
Even if I don't have the highest opinion of the woman, she's still Ruby's family and Ruby cares about her. Hence the uncomfortable clothes.
I come to a stop on the sidewalk in front of the building, tilting my head back to look up at it. I've passed by it a few times, wondering what Ruby is doing in there. If she misses me even a fraction as much as I miss her. If she feels as lonely at night as I do.
It feels like it's been forever since I've seen her, though I guess it hasn't been that long in actual time. But I haven't been ready to see her until now.
I wasn't where I needed to be in my life to face her. But I hope I am now. I've been ruthless in reshaping my life into a different mold altogether, one that I won't be ashamed of to share with Ruby. No more drugs, no more unregulated fights, no more preying on the weak when they're down.
I always thought everyone was free to pick their own poison, hurt themselves as they see fit if they want to. After all, if I don't provide them with what they want, someone else will. But I find I just don't have the taste for it anymore. I don't want to be a part of that kind of business anymore. And I don't need to be.
I've cut ties with the seedier underworld elements, severing relationships that have been years in the making. Empires that I've built through hard work, planning, and dedication.
But none of it matters. Not even a little.
Not if I can't look Ruby in the eye when I ask for forgiveness and ask for her to spend the rest of her life with me.
I slide my hand into my pocket and touch the ring box, making sure it's still there for the hundredth time since I left home. There's no reason to delay this any longer, but I find my nerves getting the best of me.
Everything hinges on how this goes. Everything that matters.
I stand there for five more minutes.
Ten more minutes.
At fifteen, I force myself to step forward.
Fear of rejection is a heaviness in my stomach, a tightness in my chest. But I need to try.
I can't stop thinking about Ruby. About her smile, her laugh, how she speaks. The light in her eyes when she's excited, her intelligence. Her expression when she comes. Her curves. Her silky skin.
I groan, forcing my thoughts away from that line as my cock twitches. I can't show up with an erection at her Grandmother's place.
Well.
Not again, anyway.
The doorman comes up to me, smiling, the sunlight glinting off his exposed mechanical lower half. I could just override him and walk in. I have the code to do so. But I want to try doing things in the correct manner.
Unless her Grandmother denies me entry. Then I won't hesitate to override everything I need to.
"May I help you?" he asks politely.
"Yes. I'm here to see Ruby Devaux. She's staying with her Grandmother."
"Yes, of course! If you will please allow me to scan your hand…"
I wait, wondering if I'm going to have to start throwing my weight around before the meeting even starts.
But the doorman smiles at me.
"You are welcome to enter."
"Thank you," I murmur, striding past him to the now open door.
First and smallest hurdle down.
I step into the elevator and take a deep breath as it lifts me to the correct floor. I can do this.
I've negotiated complicated deals with people who'd like to see me dead, taken drugs that should have killed me, faced down Singarti who'd rather deny my existence.
Nothing has made me this nervous.
When the door opens, Ruby's Grandmother is already waiting for me, her face set in stern lines as she stares down her nose at me.
Show time.
"Young man, I have only allowed you entry to give you a talking to. You are not allowed near my granddaughter anymore! Do you understand? In fact—"
"I am Prince Zane," I interrupt, knowing the title will give her pause. She's just that kind of person. "I would like to see Ruby. Please."
Her mouth shuts with a click as her eyes widen. I see her register the suit I'm wearing. I know she'll recognize it as the expensive waste of money it is. I figured the suit would be enough to convince her of my Singarti heritage if she had any doubts I was lying.
It doesn't take her long to get with the program. Or to reverse course in an almost comical manner.
"Oh! Oh! Yes, of course! Please, come in!" She steps back, opening the door wide, smiling at me now, though it's straining a bit at the edges.
I smile back grimly. "Thank you."
When I walk in, Ruby is standing in the living room. Her mouth is tight, her face pale.
She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"Ruby," I say, taking a step towards her but forcing myself to stop before I take her in my arms. I just want to hold her, but I need to say what needs to be said first.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, her voice quiet. "Prince Zane."
I wince. I didn't want her to find out like this. But I didn't know how else to get past her grandmother.
"I miss you," I say. I'm willing to lay everything on the line for her. I find I don't have any pride. Not when it comes to her. "I wanted to come ask for your forgiveness."
I hear her grandmother gasp, but Ruby isn't moved.
"For what?" she asks sharply, her eyes narrowing. "For lying to me about who you are or for taking advantage of me while doing so?"
I swallow, feeling my stomach tighten. She doesn't seem at all receptive, but at least she's talking to me. I hold on to that thin hope.
"Both," I say honestly. "Yes, I started off that night just thinking I wanted you. You were—are—so beautiful. But it became so much more than that." I take another step closer. "I want to come clean. About everything." I swallow. "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." When she doesn't say anything, I force myself to continue. I need to tell her everything. "I was a part of that gang that you ran into that night we met. But I'm not anymore. And yes, I am a Singarti as well. I own a number of businesses, though I've worked hard to clean up my act, to make sure they are all legitimate." I take another step closer, though she doesn't seem to be softening at all. "I'm so sorry I wasn't honest with you when I first met you. But I've changed."
Silence as we look at each other. I have no idea what's going through her mind.
"Would you like some refreshments?" Ruby's Grandmother interrupts, her voice cheerful and excited.
I turn to look at her, irritated at the interruption. "No, thank you," I say firmly, turning back to Ruby. "I have more to say."
"Oh, how wonderful!" her Grandmother interjects, sitting down and leaning forward.
Great. An audience is just what I need.
I ignore her as I close the last of the distance between me and Ruby, and drop down to one knee.
I want her to know exactly how serious I am.
Ruby's eyes widen as I hear her Grandmother gasp behind me.
"Ruby, I… care about you," I say clearly, getting right to the point. I want to say more, but I don't want her to feel more pressured than I'm sure she already does. How I really feel might be too much for her right now. "I'm a better man today because of you. I've straightened my life, tried to be the person you deserve." I take out the box and open it, revealing the ring inside. A round opal surrounded by small diamonds that sparkle in the light. It reminded me of the unique light that shines from her. "I hope you can forgive me. And that you'll make me the happiest guy to ever live by agreeing to marry me."
I watch her face changing, various emotions flitting across her features. None of them look promising.
Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe it was too much, too fast.
I feel my heartbeat increasing, a trickle of sweat sliding down my back. My wolf, happy to see Ruby, now starts to rage inside me, worried we're going to lose the only thing that really matters. I can feel my control fraying as the anxiety, the fear, rises.
For the first time ever, I fear I might actually lose myself to the animal inside.
If Ruby denies me… I fear my wolf might take over. I've never felt it this strongly. It's pushing at the boundaries, looking for a way out.
If she kills my hope, there might not be a man left to save.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek, trying to wrestle my control into place as the wolf fights against its chains.
"Please, Ruby," I whisper, my gaze locked with hers.
Please.
Chapter 15
Ruby
My eyes leave Zane's.
I look down at the ring he's holding up. It's beautiful, an iridescent opal surrounded by diamonds. Stunning, really. Also rare and expensive. A testament to how rich Zane actually is. Who he really is.
My heart is pounding hard in my ears. I look back up into Zane's face. His eyes are entreating. I'm breathing hard. Why can't I catch my breath?
My eyes dart over to Grandmother. She's leaning forward in her seat, her face shining as she looks at Zane. Like his suit and the fact that she now knows he's a Singarti makes him a completely different person.
Someone worth being nice to. Someone that I can now talk to.
Earth's royalty.
Well.
Earth's alien royalty.
I look back at Zane, taking in his features again. Now that I'm specifically looking for them, I can see that his ears are a little longer, his nose and mouth a little more prominent.
The signs are there.
I suppose I just never expected it and so never saw it.
Why would a Singarti, the elite of our society, be roaming alleyways? Or want someone like me even for a night? A nobody.
My eyes scan the room again. I can't seem to focus on anything. The walls feel like they're closing in on me. Like my options are diminishing with each passing second.
I feel the pressure of the moment. The pressure of expectations.
Grandmother is practically salivating at having a Singarti in her home, one that apparently wants to marry her granddaughter. The one who's never quite good enough.
And Zane…
Zane thinks that now that he's come clean with me, I'm just going to fall into his arms and say yes to a marriage proposal?
He must think very highly of himself. Or have a very low opinion of me.
I have to say something. It's been too long of a pause.
I move my eyes back to his.
"So what?" I say, my voice hoarse. I can feel the tears building behind my eyes and barely keep them at bay. Why do I always have to cry? "Now that you've told me you were lying about something else as well, I'm supposed to just fall into your arms?" I take a step back with a harsh laugh. "How could I ever trust you? How can you expect me to? All you've ever been to me is a lie!"
Zane's face tightens. "That's not true, Ruby. I really care about you. I know I shouldn't have—"
"No!" I interrupt him with a slash of my hand. "You're just like my grandmother." I look over at her in disgust, completely disillusioned by her quick about face on Zane. "Wanting me to be something I'm not."
"Young lady!" Grandmother interjects in a sharp tone.
"Don't take that tone with me!" I shout back. "You're just a social climber, ready to worship at a Singarti's feet!" I gesture at Zane, though it's a little ironic with him still on his knees. "You don't have any moral high ground to stand on—you won't even help your own daughter when you have resources to spare! Or even help your own granddaughter with college without trying to control my every move!" Her face turns red, but I don't care anymore. "Well, guess what?" I turn back to Zane, his face stoic as he watches, the ring still held out. "I'm done! I'm done with the lies, the expectations, the manipulation—I'm done with everything!"
Knot in my throat, I storm past Zane and throw open the door.
"Ruby…" I turn to see Zane on his feet, taking a step towards me.
"No. I don't want anything to do with you," I say harshly. His face pales but he stops moving forward. I feel his hurt i
n my heart, but I immediately build a shield around that pain. It isn't real. He isn't real. Just a lie. I look over at Grandmother as she also rises to her feet. "I don't want anything to do with either of you."
I watch as she frowns. "There will be no coming back from this low brow tirade, young lady," she says in a low voice.
I let out a wet laugh, the tears starting to trickle out of my eyes despite my efforts. Does she think this is just a child's temper tantrum?
"Good. I'm going home."
And I turn away and walk out. Out into the elevator. Out past the doorman. Out into the street.
And straight home.
Maybe my parents were right to be so paranoid and overprotective. The world isn't a safe place.
It will chew you up and spit you out.
Chapter 16
Zane
The door closes behind Ruby. She's gone.
I can't feel anything in that moment. I'm numb.
Her words echo in my mind, playing over and over as I stand there. She doesn't want anything to do with me. All of my careful planning of what to say, how to explain how I feel, how I've changed…
None of it matters.
I'd already done too much to hurt her.
"The nerve! I cannot believe she would disrespect either of us in such a manner! Please accept my apology on her behalf, Prince Zane."
I look over at Ruby's grandmother, shaking my head. At least she broke free of this mess. I'm proud of her for standing up for herself.
"She didn't do anything wrong," I retort. "I have to go."
I can't be here in this space with her for another second.
I stride out the door, ignoring her calls to come back and have some tea. Like I want to sip tea after what just happened. With the other person Ruby apparently hates, no less.
The wolf stirs in me, the shock starting to wear off. Not good.
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