The Indentured Heart

by Gilbert, Morris

  Molly looked down at the book, then lifted her eyes. She was, Miles reflected, a strange child—not at all like other children her age. Part of it was her background, but even beyond that, he saw in her something of the maturity and quiet beauty that the Scottish women frequently have. “You’re happy here, child?” he asked suddenly.

  “Oh, yes!”

  “What do you want to do—I mean, when your period of indenture is over and you’ll be free?”

  A startled look crossed her face, and he realized that the question had taken her off guard. “Why, I don’t think about it, Mr. Winslow. It’s not for a long time.”

  He smiled suddenly, thinking of what an eternity that was to her—and how short it was to him! “It’ll be here sooner than you think, Molly. Now, read some more.” He lay back on his pillow, and she picked up the story of the Winslow clan again—she, intent on the words, while the old man watched her face.

  Word came from Jerusha that they were ready to return home, and on Sunday the 19th of July, Adam and Molly picked the pair up and started their journey. They made slow time, only about sixteen miles most days, and by the time they reached the Edwards’ house, Brainerd was so weak that Adam had to practically carry him in.

  The sick man was unable to climb the stairs, so the Edwards’ maid had prepared a bedroom downstairs. Adam shook off the profuse thanks of Sarah and Jonathan Edwards, saying only, “It was nothing.” Then he looked at Mrs. Edwards, who was pregnant again, noting that her face was pale with strain. A thought came to him, and he asked, “Maybe Molly could stay and help with things. You wouldn’t mind, would you, Molly?”

  Mrs. Edwards’ face brightened, but she said, “It would be asking a great deal of Molly . . .”

  “Oh, I don’t mind—really I don’t!” Molly said at once. She had looked forward to going home with Adam, but her heart was touched by Jerusha’s pale face. She said only, “Would you bring my things, Mr. Adam?”

  “Of course I will—and I’m mighty proud of you, Molly,” Adam said, and the light of approval in his dark eyes brought a flush to Molly’s face.

  8 October, 1747

  I have not written here in so long! The last three months have been dreadful. Mr. Brainerd has gotten weaker day by day, and all of us cry when we are alone. I heard the doctor tell Mr. Edwards that Mr. Brainerd won’t live a week longer.

  Last night Jerusha was sitting with him, and I was beside her. He’d been unconscious for a long time; then he opened his eyes and said, “Dear Jerusha, are you willing to part with me?” And she couldn’t do anything but cry, so he said, “I’m willing to part with you, though if I thought I couldn’t see you in heaven, I couldn’t bear it.”

  I couldn’t stand it, so I ran out and cried. Then this morning, he called all the children in and said, “When you see my grave, children, remember that there lies the man who wants to see all of you in heaven.”

  9 October, 1747

  Mr. Brainerd died today. He said goodbye to every one of us, even me. And then he raised up and looked around with a smile and said, “It is another thing to die than people think!” And then he put his head back and closed his eyes.

  12 October, 1747

  Mr. Adam brought me home after the funeral. The church was full, and Mr. Edwards preached on “True saints, when absent from the body are present with the Lord.”

  Miss Jerusha cried when I left, and when we got home Adam said, “This place has been lonesome without you.” And he gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. And I don’t know why, but as I write this, I can’t see to write for crying. Not for Mr. Brainerd, but for some reason I can’t even say.

  The shock of David Brainerd’s death passed away for people, as such things do, but the Edwards family did not get off so lightly. Jerusha had worn herself down caring for him, and in the weeks that followed she began to develop severe symptoms. Winter was bitter that year: in January she got drenched in a freezing winter rain, and the next day took to her bed.

  Adam brought the bad news to Molly and the Stuarts one Friday evening. He had come in after dark, stomped the frozen ice and snow from his boots, then gone to stand by the fireplace.

  Molly brought him a tankard of hot cider and asked at once, “Did you go by Mr. Edwards’?”

  “Yes, and Jerusha is sick.” He took a sip of the scalding drink, made a face, then shook his head. “I didn’t see her, but Pastor Edwards was real worried.”

  “And Mrs. Edwards with a baby coming on!” Mrs. Stuart said. She set a plate on the table, piled it high with ham and eggs for Adam. “I don’t see how they make it, Mr. Winslow! Nothing but trouble. First, that fine young man, and now their own daughter.”

  “God’s been gude to them, tho’—” Seth said, puffing at his pipe. “Most families lose a child, or more than that. And they got ten leetle ones, all alive!”

  “Maybe I better go help nurse Miss Jerusha,” Molly said. “There’s not much work around here.”

  Adam took a bite of ham and stared at her. “If you feel like you ought to do it, Molly, it’ll be fine with me.”

  She nodded and said, “I can help a lot. Esther’s the only one who’s any help to Mrs. Edwards.”

  “Except for Mary, of course,” Adam added. He did not see the sudden frown on Molly’s face, and it was gone by the time she looked up. “I’ll take you over tomorrow—and I can cut some more wood for the pastor.”

  The next day Molly packed and came down wearing her warmest clothes. Mrs. Stuart was in the kitchen, and Molly said, “Let me help with breakfast.”

  “It’s ready. Go down to the shop and get Mr. Winslow.”

  Molly walked across the packed snow to the shop, opened the door, and saw that Adam was not there. He had been, however, for a fire was glowing on the forge. She went over to hold her hands over the burning coals, and as she stood there soaking up the warmth, she saw a small box on the workbench. Adam was always showing her things he made in the shop, and she opened it curiously, then she caught her breath—for a flash of gold picked up the light of the forge, glowing dully in the darkness!

  She pulled out a gold necklace, marveling at the tiny links and at the delicate round pendulum, not more than an inch in diameter, but marvelously worked to look like tiny strands of golden cords. It was a beautifully done piece, and she stood there gazing at it when she heard footsteps. She quickly put the necklace inside the box, closed it, then moved to the door.

  “Molly?” Adam stepped inside, and seeing her, said, “I was in the barn hitching up the team. Let’s eat breakfast.”

  “All right.”

  They ate and were soon on their way down the hard-packed, icy road. Adam had made special shoes for the horses and converted a small buggy to a sleigh by pulling off the wheels and putting steel runners under it. As they raced along, Adam grinned at her. “Beats any ride I’ve ever had!”

  “Oh, yes! I wish we could ride like this all the time.”

  “It would be hard to do in August, wouldn’t it—without snow.” He glanced at Molly and said suddenly, “I’m proud of you for helping the Edwardses.”

  “Oh, I don’t do much.”

  “I don’t agree. Means a lot to them.” The runners hissed as the sleigh raced along, and they were soon at the house. As he pulled up, he said, “Won’t be long ’til Valentine’s Day, will it, Molly?”

  “Well, this is January 15, isn’t it? Just about a month.”

  He helped her down, then held on to her shoulders and said, “Well, you’ve got a real surprise coming, Molly.”

  She stared at him, and his eyes were gleaming. “What kind of surprise?”

  He laughed and said, “No need to pester me. You’ll just have to wait—and don’t go poking around in the shop looking for it, you hear?”

  “I—I won’t, Adam. I promise!” Molly’s heart was swelling, and a joy such as she had seldom known came to her at the thought that he would give her such a gift.

  He cut wood all day while she helped with Jerusha, an
d when he left that afternoon, he smiled and said, “Now, don’t forget about Valentine’s Day!”

  As he drove off, Mary came to stand beside Molly. She watched as Adam waved, then drove down the road. “What was that about Valentine’s Day, Molly?”

  “Oh, nothing,” Molly said. “He always gets me something on Valentine’s Day.”

  “Really?” Mary said nothing more, but she could not disguise the envy in her voice as she added, “I’ll bet he’ll get me something, too! Something nicer than my silver brooch!”

  Molly only said, “He probably will, Mary.” Then she went up to sit with Jerusha. But all day long, she thought about Adam’s promise, and it made her smile when she thought of the delicate golden necklace.

  She stayed with the Edwardses for a week; then Jerusha seemed to be getting better, so Adam brought her home. He said nothing more about Valentine’s Day, but the next day while he was out hunting with Seth, she went to the shop and found the box on a shelf. Carefully she drew out the necklace, then carried it to the door so she could see it clearly. It was even more beautiful than she remembered! Carefully she put it around her neck, and it made her feel somehow precious in a way she couldn’t explain. Then she carefully replaced it, and did not look at it again.

  On the 8th of February Adam suddenly spoke of his promise for the first time. They were eating supper when he said, “There’s going to be a little Valentine’s Day party at the Edwardses on Friday; we’ll go over there. Mrs. Edwards thinks maybe Miss Jerusha will be able to sit up for a little of it.”

  The days seemed to drag by for Molly, and finally on Thursday he took her to the Edwardses to help cook for the party. “See you tomorrow, Molly.” He winked and was gone.

  She worked hard all that day, not only cooking but helping catch up with the washing and ironing. She was tired when dark fell, but she went to sit with Jerusha.

  “My Molly!” the sick girl said with a wan smile. She coughed with a hollow sound, and Molly got her a glass of water. “Tell me all you’ve been doing, dear,” she said. “I get lonesome for news lying here all the time.”

  Molly never intended to tell anyone about the necklace, but she let it slip before she thought. As soon as she realized what she had done, she gasped, “I—I didn’t mean to tell anybody about it!”

  Jerusha had large dark smudges under her eyes, and there was an ominous leanness in her cheeks, but she smiled and said, “It means a great deal to you, doesn’t it, Molly?”

  “He’s been so good to me—but he’s never given me anything—anything just for me!”

  Jerusha had known for a long time that Molly was in love with Adam Winslow as only a very young girl can fall in love with an older man. She had thought, It will pass as she gets older. Now she said, “I’m glad for you, Molly.” Then fatigue washed over her and she drifted off to sleep in that sudden fashion that had come to alarm them all.

  If telling Jerusha was a mistake, Molly made a more serious one the next morning. She and Mary and Esther were making little cakes in the kitchen, and Mary had been chattering on about the party. She had a new dress and had been describing it to them for the third time. Molly was only half listening, her mind on the necklace. Then she heard Mary saying, “I’ve got my silver brooch to wear—it’s too bad you don’t have a nice piece of jewelry to wear, Molly. I’ll let you wear my brooch sometime!”

  “I don’t need it! Mr. Adam is giving me a gold necklace of my very own!”

  Mary and Esther stared at her, and Mary at once began trying to discover more, but Molly set her lips and would say nothing. Finally, Mary sniffed and said, “You’re just making that up, Molly Burns! Adam wouldn’t give a servant a gold necklace!”

  Had it been possible for her to leave, Molly would have fled, but there was no way. She kept as far away from Mary as possible, and she knew that the girl had told others what she had said.

  When Adam came that afternoon, Timothy Dwight was with him. The two had been replacing a timber in the church, and they both got washed up just in time to join the party.

  It was a simple party with just a few young people who lived closeby. They played a few games, sang songs, and spent the evening enjoying one another’s company.

  Jerusha was brought in when it was time to exchange valentines. It worried Molly to see how sick she looked. She went and sat beside her, and saw that her face was flushed with fever. “You need to be in bed, Miss Jerusha!” she whispered.

  “I’ll go as soon as you get your necklace,” Jerusha smiled. “I couldn’t miss that!”

  It was a loud time, squealing and laughing, and finally when they all had their valentines, Adam said, “I’ve got a valentine here for every Edwards on the place!” He began to hand out small items he had made—such as a pair of tiny tongs for Sarah Edwards, a spoon for Jerusha, small toys for the younger children. He had pewter cups for Mary and Esther, and there was a broad smile on his lips as he passed these gifts out.

  Finally, he looked around and said, “Well, that’s all, I guess.”

  “What about Molly?” Mary said loudly. She smiled saucily around and added, “You didn’t give her anything.”

  Molly wanted to fall through the floor, and she shrank into the chair, wishing that she were anywhere else in the world!

  Adam looked surprised, then shrugged. “Well, as a matter of fact, I do have something for Molly, but it’s outside in the sleigh. I’ll go get it.”

  While he was gone Esther said in a whisper, “See, Mary? He did get her a necklace!”

  Mary said nothing but her eyes went to the package that Adam had in his hand when he came back. He came to stand in front of Molly, and smiled as he said, “Well, here’s your valentine, Molly. And if there’s another like it in the country, I’ll eat my boots!”

  Molly stared at the package he placed in her hands, and could not say a word. It was much too large for the necklace. Maybe it’s in a larger box, she thought. As she unwrapped the paper, she felt Jerusha bending close to see what it was.

  Then she pulled out a black metal container of some sort and stared at it. It was a round pan about a foot in diameter with a sturdy metal clasp on the side. She stared at it, and he reached down and said, “It opens like this,” and he lifted the top.

  There was a silence, and Molly could not lift her eyes. Finally Mary asked loudly, “Well, what in the world is it?”

  Adam smiled. “We’ve all gone to bed with our feet freezing. But Molly won’t have any more cold feet, because she’s got the first footwarmer ever made!”

  “A—a footwarmer?” Molly whispered.

  Adam did not see the distressed look on her face. He was so pleased that he took the pan from her and held it up, saying, “Look, you put hot coals in here when it’s time to go to bed. There’s a frame with it that goes under the bed. You put the footwarmer on it, and you’ve got nice warm feet no matter how cold it gets!” Then he looked at Molly, who still had not lifted her head, and he said, “Well, didn’t I tell you you’d get a valentine like you never dreamed of?”

  Mary laughed. “Well, it’s very nice—but it’d be hard to wear it around your neck.”

  “Around your neck?” Adam asked. “That’s not what it’s for, Mary. It’s to keep your feet warm. Do you like it, Molly?”

  Molly sat there, and suddenly the room seemed very quiet. She raised her head slowly and he saw that there were tears in her eyes. “Thank you, Mr. Adam. It’s—very nice.”

  He stood there, aware that something was terribly wrong, but having no idea what it was. Then Jerusha said, “I’m very tired. Would you help me to bed, Molly?”

  Molly’s eyes were filled with tears, but she instantly got up and led Jerusha out of the room. When Jerusha was in bed, she reached out and took Molly’s hand. “Try not to feel too bad. He was thinking of a way to make things easier for you.”

  “I know.” There was a dead sound to Molly’s voice. She had dried her tears, and she said, “I’ll stay with you tonight.”

>   “No, you must go home. Come tomorrow—and don’t be angry—”

  She dropped off into a restless sleep, her face flushed from the high fever. Her mother came in, looked down and said, “We shouldn’t have let her get up, but she wanted to so much!”

  “I want to stay with her, Mrs. Edwards!”

  Mrs. Edwards had heard from Esther about the necklace, and she went and put her arms around Molly. “If you want to,” she said quietly.

  “I’ll go tell Mr. Adam.” Molly slipped away and found Adam standing beside the door, his face pale. “I’d better stay with Jerusha, if you don’t mind.”

  “Molly, Mary told me about the necklace. I—I never thought—!”

  “It’s all right. I should have known better.” There was something different in Molly’s voice, and her lips were thin as she said, “It wasn’t your fault. I’m stupid!”

  “Don’t say that! I—I just didn’t think, Molly. I made it for Aunt Rachel, but you can have it—!”

  “I don’t want it. Bound girls ought to have better sense than to expect gold necklaces from their masters!”

  “Molly, don’t—!”

  He reached out to touch her, but she pulled back, her face pale as paper. “I won’t make a mistake like that again, Mr. Winslow.”

  She turned and walked away without another word, and Adam suddenly left the house just as quietly.

  Jerusha died early the next morning, hemorrhaging without warning. It was a difficult time for Molly, but she forever looked back on that night as the time she left childhood behind.

  19 February, 1747

  I have tried to pray, but nothing happens. When Mrs. Edwards told me that Jerusha was dead, I died, too.

  I can’t love God, even though I try!

  Why did she have to die? Or Mr. Brainerd?

  Adam brought me home, and he tries to tell me about how sorry he is about the necklace. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care!

  One thing I promise! I’m a bound girl, and I’ll never forget that—not as long as I’m his! Never!